“It’s okay, Mom.”
Her eyes lit up. “It is?”
“We’re just different. That’s all. It doesn’t mean we have to be enemies.”
“Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve talked to your father.”
Dad nodded. “Yeah. Your decisions are yours. But we don’t want you to disappear on us again. We just want to be a part of your life. Whatever you choose. We know things will always be rough, but we will try.”
A warmth rushed into my chest and filled my heart. “I’m sure we’ll always complicate things.” I took a deep breath. “But I’d like that.”
CHAPTER 34
Landon Lane
A WEEK LATER, CORA AND I lay in our bed about to go to sleep. Logan had already been tucked in. Janet left. Joe was off doing his own thing, most likely watching movies out in the shed.
Cora had been home from school all week, recovering. I was recuperating from numerous workouts in the front yard. We hadn’t had any issues. I kept everyone away from us during training, but Joe hadn’t put me through anything like the day of Cora’s accident. It was mostly conditioning. Bulking up.
Joe saw everything we were both capable of in the irrigation ditch. I still wasn’t sure how we lifted the car. Sid couldn’t have done it. Not even two of him. No man should’ve been able to. I think that was the moment when Joe realized the power of family and purpose. There was no scientific formula to describe love.
“I want to go for a walk in the morning. Before training. Up for it?”
Cora nuzzled into my shoulder. “Sure.” She gazed off at the wall for a minute. “Are you going to break up with me?”
I stiffened. “What?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Sorry. It’s probably the medication. It makes me kind of paranoid. Just sounded like maybe you want to do more than walk.”
“Your instincts aren’t too far off. I mean, I think the air and mountains will be good for you. Good for me too. I do want to talk to you about something important. Not about breaking up, though.” I gave her a look that said don’t be crazy.
She smiled. “Okay.”
I didn’t want to talk, but it needed to be done. We needed clear communication. That’s what Miranda had always stressed to me about the woman I’d fall in love with.
“Communicate with her. Tell her how you feel. Don’t let her be uncertain. Our minds always go to the worst possible places. Reassure her about everything. A woman wants to be independent, but she wants to feel safe and know where she stands. This isn’t true for every woman, but it is for most of us. Our brains are dangerous places. Take charge and be up front about everything, whether you want to or not.”
Ever since I’d had the talk with Logan I’d thought about Miranda more every day. I didn’t bring her up around Cora simply because of the advice Miranda gave me. I didn’t want her worried that I was in love with another woman at one point. I’d never been in love with anyone but Cora. No doubt in my mind about that. Cora was it. The beginning and the end.
“Go.”
I glanced to Cora. “Huh?”
“You have a lot on your mind. Go to your chair. It comforts you.” She nodded to the hallway. “Just come in and snuggle me every so often.”
I smiled and kissed her on the head. Rose from the bed and walked toward the door.
“What are you reading right now?” Cora asked.
“Some book about an alpha-male bad-boy—something that Janet recommended.”
Cora’s face turned bright red. “You’re really reading that?”
“Sure, why not?” I shrugged.
“Well log some of those moves away in your brain for when my arm is all healed up. Okay?”
I shook my head at her. “My moves are better than all the guys in her books.” I flashed a grin. “So heal up soon or I’ll have to put you over my knee and spank that tight little ass.”
Her whole face flushed with pink hues and I saw her legs scissor under the covers. I grinned like the devil at her reaction.
“Landon Lane!” she whisper-screamed.
I shrugged. “Blame Janet. She recommended the book.”
She shook her head and smiled. “Love you always, babe.”
“Always.”
I walked out to the hallway and kicked back in my chair outside Logan’s door. Started reading the smut book Janet suggested and definitely made some mental notes.
I’D SNUCK BACK INTO BED with Cora around five-thirty in the morning. She didn’t realize it, but she was what I called an active sleeper. It wasn’t uncommon to have a forearm in my face, or her whole body spread out in some kind of stigmata position.
Usually, I just dealt with that kind of thing, but now her arm was vulnerable. They hadn’t been able to cast it with orthopedic plaster. Instead she had what was called a hanging arm cast. When they’d cast it originally, it set the bone together, but pinched off her nerves and she lost movement in her hand. Couldn’t feel anything in her fingers. It was like severing a phone line. Information couldn’t flow from her nerves below the fracture back to her brain. If there was no flow, the brain couldn’t tell her hand to move.
The hanging arm cast was essentially just a sling over her shoulder. That first night after she’d fallen asleep I drove into Missoula and stopped off at Walmart. I bought four new pillows and cases along with some memory foam. I built an entire barricade of padding around her to keep her arm steady and her body stationary. If she’d flailed around in the middle of the night, it might’ve broken her arm all over again.
So, each night after she fell asleep, I assembled the walls of padding around her, and every morning I got up before her and hauled everything to the closet. There was nothing better in the world than taking care of her in the evenings—feeding her and especially bathing her. I thought she was growing tired of it. She liked doing things on her own. But it was my job to take care of her and that’s what was going to happen while she was injured, whether she liked it or not. A break like that could cause long-term damage if it didn’t heal properly.
After I had piled everything in the closet it was about a quarter to six. I walked into Logan’s room and gave him a peck on the forehead. He was tangled up in his Star Wars sheets. I glanced around at his room and thought about how we only really had about a week of normalcy left.
I walked into the kitchen and then traipsed back through the hall and went and woke up Cora. She was already sprawled out in a tangle of sheets, but her broken arm remained unmoved. Her body naturally protected it even in a subconscious state. Anatomy fascinated me. I nudged Cora awake with a cup of fresh coffee in my hand.
Her face twisted in pain as I wafted the coffee steam toward her like a smoke signal. She yawned and then grinned. “You’re an evil alarm clock.”
I set a painkiller on the nightstand and waved more coffee toward her nose. “I’m a fantastic alarm clock.”
“You used my senses against me.” Her voice was light and soft, eyes still closed. They finally eased open to meet the day. It was perfect.
I pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. “Come on. I want to go on a walk with you.”
I took more care than was probably necessary to help her up to a sitting position and then walked over to the dresser. She instructed me on which clothes to grab.
“It’s a little cool out, but not bad. Really nice, actually.”
Cora settled on a pair of light sweat pants and a thin tee shirt. I purposely avoided grabbing her a bra. I sat the pill on her tongue and blew on the coffee. Then moved the cup to her lips as her head tilted back. All I wanted to do for the rest of the day was take care of her, and get her everything she needed to make her comfortable.
Before heading out, I dumped her coffee into a Styrofoam cup and carried it for her. We went past the shed where Joe had a movie blaring at full volume. It sounded like Pulp Fiction. I shook my head.
We took off down a trail. The same one that Joe and I often followed to the river to meditate. I knew she’d l
ove the view. There was nobody for miles around, even though I was sure news vans still sat in front of the house on the main thoroughfare.
They didn’t give a shit about what happened to Cora. All of them were after a story. My jaw clenched, and she took my hand. Her fingers laced in mine. It radiated warmth up through my arm and down my spine.
The news vans and everything else faded into the background. It was just her and me.
We walked for a while, making idle chit-chat about the weather and how beautiful Montana was. We came out to the hill that overlooked the river. I sat her coffee down on a rock.
Cora took in a deep breath of the air she loved so much. “My God, we say it a lot, but—this is just gorgeous.”
“It’s one of my favorite places.”
I took both of her hands in mine.
Her eyelashes fluttered, and she looked up at me. “You wanted to talk?”
I nodded. “This last week is going to be tough. The toughest we ever face.”
“You’re worried I’m going to run again? When it gets tough?”
Always be honest. Let her know where you stand.
I nodded.
“I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry. I can tell you that I won’t. But I’ve said that before.”
“I need you.” I brushed some more hair that had fallen out of her ponytail back behind her ear. “And I brought you out here to tell you—even if you run, I’ll still love you. No matter what you do. I’ll love you always. It’s unconditional.”
She’d wreck my heart if she tried to leave when things got tough again, but my words were true. I’d thought them through a hundred times or more. My love for her was exactly that—forever. Faults and all. She needed to know that I’d forgive her.
She shook her head. “That’s not—”
“Fair?”
She nodded.
I stared her straight in the eye. “That’s how it is. That’s how it will always be. You’re the first and the last.”
“I don’t deserve that. Don’t deserve you.” She angled her stare toward the ground.
“Bullshit.” I took a step toward her. Backed her up against a giant elm tree. “You deserve more. I’ll spend my whole life trying to give you what you deserve.”
Her breaths shallowed. Eyes dilated and half-hooded. She started to say something under her breath. “Landon—”
I slanted my mouth over hers. Crushed my lips against her. Swallowed the rest of her sentence. Our tongues swept lazily, playing across one another. She moaned into my mouth and then her head tilted back against the tree. I kissed softly down her neck and took her right breast in my hand. She gasped for air when I rolled her nipple between my thumb and forefinger.
“It’ll always be you.” I exhaled my words into her ear. “I can’t live without you.”
Her good arm draped around my neck and her nails raked through the back of my hair and down the nape of my neck. She pulled me closer and arched her breasts into me.
“I want you so bad right now.” Her words were honey in my ear.
I devoured them.
I flipped her around so that her ass was backed up against me. My cock was rock-hard and it was difficult to control myself. I had to be gentle. It was the exact opposite of what I wanted to be with her. I wanted to yank her pants down and shove into her. I ground my shaft between her ass cheeks through the fabric of our clothes and kissed around the shell of her ear. Could feel the heat from her pussy with each thrust of my hips and I groaned at the sensation.
She rocked back against me in perfect time. “Did you read about this in your book last night?”
“Hell no. This is all me.” I sucked along her neck and worked her sweat pants and panties halfway down her thighs.
I stared down at her perfect, apple-shaped ass and wanted to bite it.
My hands gripped the soft flesh on each side of her hips and I whispered in her ear. “Don’t move.”
Her lips parted with a needy exhale. She nodded with her eyes closed.
“Now—have you been a good girl?”
I leaned slightly around her head to watch her reaction. A wry smile formed on her lips and she shook her head back and forth like she knew what was coming. “No,” she whispered.
I gave her right cheek a quick slap with my hand. She jolted. “Holy shit.”
“I told you I was going to spank this tight little ass.” I paused. “So, you’ve been bad?”
She nodded, almost out of breath. “Uh huh.”
I gave her another quick smack on the left side and kneaded her soft flesh in my hand. I hadn’t expected to enjoy spanking her as much as I did. There were light pink outlines of my hand on both cheeks.
I reached around her head and leaned my left forearm against the tree, right in front of her face. Then I bent over so that my mouth was next to her ear on the opposite side. “In case you need to bite down on something.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh God.”
I yanked my shorts down and my cock sprang free. I licked two fingers and slid them down beneath her ass, across her slick folds, and up to her clit. I stroked it in lazy circles and cupped her hot pussy in the palm of my hand. “Mine.”
“Oh my God.” Her forehead pressed against my arm.
“Say it. Tell me who this pussy belongs to.”
Cora panted. “Yours. It’s yours.”
I wrapped my hand lightly around her neck and leaned her a few inches back from the tree. My fingers sped up on her clit and I held her by the throat so she couldn’t jerk and aggravate her injury.
I drew my hand back from her pussy and gave her another spank on her ass. She gasped in the best kind of way.
“God, I’m so hard for you right now.”
She flattened her palm up against the tree. I still had her wrapped up and I was worried about her arm. My hand was still around her neck and I pulled her ear back to my mouth. “Put your hand on my arm.”
She was so caught up in the moment she just did it instinctually. I loved how much she trusted me. How she’d follow my simple commands without question. My cock hardened at that power that I both loved and respected. Her fingers wrapped around my forearm.
“Pinch my arm if I hurt you.”
Her eyes fluttered and went half-hooded. It was the same thing I’d told her when I cleaned her up after our first time. I wanted her to feel safe. I wanted to know if I hurt her. She needed a way to communicate that to me, before I could fuck her the way I wanted. If she pinched, I would stop. It wouldn’t matter how close I was to what I needed from her body, I would stop for her.
She nodded.
I teased the head of my cock along the edge of her pussy and then stroked across her clit a few times. Cora moaned her pleasure. It only fueled me. I pushed in and out, slowly, barely between her folds. She was so damn wet I could’ve easily rammed to the hilt.
“Stop teasing me.” Her words barely came out.
I gave her another quick swat. She purred her approval. I felt one hundred percent attuned with her needs. Her ass turned a brighter shade of pink against her pale skin. I swatted it again.
“Fu—” She couldn’t even finish the word.
I was already about to blow. I inched in about halfway and couldn’t take it any longer. I thrust into her, balls-deep. At the perfect angle to hit the ridge deep inside of her. Her hand tightened on my arm, but she didn’t pinch.
I pulled out to the tip and pushed back inside her a little harder than I just had. Her legs quivered beneath her.
I hooked my free arm around the front of her hip, my cock as deep as it could go, and I stroked over her clit with two fingers. She shuddered and came undone on me. Her hand squeezed on my arm as her slick pussy tightened on my cock and she panted as the orgasm crested and rolled through her limbs. My balls tightened.
“God, you feel so fucking good.” I breathed in her ear.
“Fuck me, Landon. Come
inside me.”
I nodded against the back of her neck and pulled out to the tip. Her eyes closed. With a grunt, I thrusted into her. I couldn’t control myself and I pumped in and out of her. My hips crashed into her ass and the sounds of the wet, rapid collisions echoed through the forest. She didn’t pinch me.
My whole body shook and stiffened. Her slick, wet cunt cinched around my cock until all I could focus on was how hot and needy her pussy was for me. She clenched around me and then she let go of my arm. My eyes widened. She reached back. Her fingernails on her one good hand dug into the side of my hip and she pulled me in harder with each groan and thrust. My vision blurred, and tiny stars danced around in the corner of my vision. Euphoria ripped through my veins like morphine. My orgasm reached its apex—and it wasn’t just from how good she felt around me—and my God, she felt amazing—but her reaching back and digging her fingers into my thigh, with no way to pinch me, no way to let me know if I hurt her. She didn’t care. She wanted the pain, wanted it all, wanted to please me, wanted to give me what I needed and what I wanted.
It sent me over the edge and a second orgasm rolled through her body.
We both came in unison. Multiple waves tore through both of us, each more intense than the last as I emptied my cock, my life into her. With a final grunt and a shudder that went from the base of my spine up to my neck, I released my hand from her throat and her nails dropped from my leg. Blood trickled down my thigh and I stared at it, loving her all the more for leaving her mark on me.
We sat there, totally spent for three or four minutes, just catching our breath. Finally, I pulled Cora’s pants back up for her and then did the same with my shorts.
She spun around to face me, still in a bit of a daze. “Holy shit, Landon.”
“Me? You were the bad girl.”
She fake-gasped and feigned innocence. “You did the spanking.”
I smiled. “You’re damn right I did.”
I dropped to my knees in front of her. Elevated her on her pedestal and I took her hand in mine. I kissed and sucked the crimson from her fingernails and pressed my lips to the insides of her wrist. “Are you okay?”
Bad Dad Page 26
