by Marian Tee
How could you feel desire for a man while you were in the throes of menstrual torture?
But apparently, it was possible.
Or maybe it was only possible because it was Nathan Callis---
A gasp escaped me when he started stroking his cock.
“Do you see how hard it is?” Nathan’s gaze captured me once more. “It’s all because of you, sweetheart.” The low, rough rasp of his voice made me swallow harder, the sound of it like an invisible, heated brand on my skin.
“All because of you…” And his fingers started to move faster.
I stared, I ached, I burned.
It lasted too long, lasted too short, I couldn’t quite make up my mind. All I knew was that if I could patent those four minutes of Nathan Callis jerking himself off, I’d be the richest woman in the world because I had found a permanent cure for dysmenorrhea.
When it was over, he walked towards me, showing not a bit of self-consciousness about the fact that he was naked and I was not, and that his cock still jutted proudly like a fucking flag carried by a victorious army sergeant.
Bending down, he took my mouth wordlessly in a sweet, deep kiss. “Did it help, sweetheart?”
I grunted.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
By the time he joined me in bed, he had showered and changed into sweat pants. Since I had steadfastly refused his invitation to move in with him, Nathan had taken to leaving stuff in my apartment.
“Still in pain?” he asked as he pulled me closer from behind, our bodies spooning as he slipped an arm under my head while another went around my waist. When I shook my head, he kissed my hair, murmuring, “I’m glad. I hate seeing you in pain.”
I did my best to fall asleep, but I couldn’t.
“Nathan?” My whisper interrupted the low humming from the air conditioning.
“Mm…”
“I’m growing on you, aren’t I?” They weren’t what I meant to ask at all, but the moment the words came out, I realized it was – even if my mind shied away from it – what my heart needed to ask.
“You’re all I think about these days.”
That was nice. That was really nice, but it still wasn’t what I needed to hear.
I tried again, saying, “Let me rephrase.” I felt his hard body rock against me in what I knew was mirth but ignored it, asking baldly, “How much of your heart do I own right now?”
“Ah.”
What the hell did that mean?
Was that Greek?
Was it model speak for I love you?
“About…ten percent I suppose?”
Ouch. “Asshole.” I elbowed him hard, and he grunted, but when I tried struggling away from him, he only pulled me back with another chuckle.
His arms tightened around me. “Stay.”
I didn’t heed him, still trying my best to get out of his arms, and my eyes started to tear up because all these movements were just making the pain come back.
“I want you to let go,” I gritted out. “Okay?” My voice caught.
He stilled.
And then he was rolling me to my back, and I squeezed my eyes shut the moment I realized I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from crying.
“I’m sorry,” Nathan said hoarsely.
I didn’t answer.
“I’m an ass.”
Yes, you were, I thought painfully. You are. But it doesn’t change a thing.
“Does it matter if you own my heart?”
I didn’t answer. He was no dummy. He already knew the answer to that.
“Can’t it be enough that I own yours---”
Ah.
“And I swear on my life I’ll never do anything to break it?”
Alyx And Nathan
It was said that the Gray Knight was strong and handsome, kind and courageous. But no one was really sure because clouds of smoke hid the knight from everyone, and people only recognized the hero by the rumble of his voice and the flash of his silver eyes, so bright it blazed past the blur of gray that shielded him.
“Aren’t you tired of being Alone?” asked the lady walking beside him.
“I’m not Alone. You’re with me, are you not?”
“You’re wrong,” the lady whispered. “You’ll always be Alone until you let someone inside of you.” She reached a hand towards him. “Can’t I please step past the clouds, sir?”
The Lady and the Gray Knight by Keanne Summers and Alyx Cornwall
Words used to hold no power over Nathan. For so long, words had only been a means to communicate and nothing else. But this changed the moment he realized there were words that Alyx wanted to hear, words that he could not make himself say for reasons that remained unclear even to him.
Alyx had given his life new meaning when for so long, he had merely been existing, pretending to be normal, faking his ability to draw pleasure. On the night he had witnessed Nik Alexandropoulos’ rejection of her, it was like reliving his past---
Obviously, he knew how it had ended for him, and he hadn’t wanted the same for her. He wanted her untouched by the icy bitterness that still held his heart captive, and he thought he would be the one who could protect her, to nurture her.
But that it turned out to be the opposite---
That it became impossible for him to give her what she wanted---
It killed him.
It fucking killed him, and even though he knew it wouldn’t be enough, Nathan gave her other words instead – all the words she might want as well, all in the vain hope that it would keep her from breaking.
He told her about how his mother’s death had cut the last link between him and his father, told her about how they spoke less and less to each other until they had become civil strangers living under one roof. He told her of how his godfather had saved him, a man who had fallen in love with Nathan’s mother when they were sixteen – and had stayed in love with her even when she had gone on to marry another man.
He told her of how he had chosen modeling in a misguided, foolish attempt to anger his father, a boy’s desperate ploy for attention, but while it had failed in its primary objective, modeling had ended up giving him something else. It had become an outlet, a living classroom in which Nathan had gradually learned the art of reining in his temper – all his emotions really – in light of all the waiting and ass kissing that took place in the industry.
Modeling might be a whim or an exercise for vanity for most other people, but for Nathan Callis, it was a practice of self-discipline, and he had felt genuine regret at having to leave it a few years ago.
He told her things that he had shared with no one else, not even his godfather or friends, like the fact that he had quit while on top because he hadn’t wanted to risk hating the career that had become his life’s saving grace. He told her these things in desperate hope that they would be enough. He didn’t think he would be able to bear it if she started hurting again, knowing that he was the cause this time around.
He gave her all his time, his smiles, his attention. He accompanied her to work almost every day, surprised her with flowers, jewelry – he bought anything that reminded him of Alyx. He did everything from simple to extravagant, from making her coffee to flying her to Europe to celebrate a blogging milestone.
All that he could give her was hers, and yet---
There were times when she would look at him, and he would have to struggle to keep his face expressionless so she wouldn’t realize that he knew. He knew because he had been her once.
And the way she would look at him---
You’re too sweet, and it’s breaking my heart.
I don’t want you to be perfect, Nathan Callis.
I just wish you could love me back.
If only she knew. There was nothing he wanted more, but until his heart was completely free to love again, the words she desired would remain trapped inside of him.
Today was the launch of the newest self-published book of love poems b
y Keanne Summers, the French vixen of a fiancée of Jason Christakos, one of Nathan’s friends. All the BBFs were there, and so were most of their girlfriends – save for Christien’s betrothed, whose existence remained a well-kept secret.
Alyx’s own friends had come in full force as well, everyone quick to show support since Alyx had collaborated with Keanne on several poems and children’s stories, all of which had also been included in the book, which had shot straight to the top of bestseller lists on the first day of its release.
Yanna had come with her Dutch billionaire husband Constantijin Kastein, Daria with Nik, while Anneke de Konigh had flown all the way from Netherlands, accompanied by her younger cousin Farica. Fredericka would have attended as well, but with Alyx’s cousin in her last trimester, both Alyx and Freddie’s Russian billionaire husband had been adamantly against it. A compromise had been reached instead, with Alyx promising to fly with Nathan to Rockton and enjoy a celebratory dinner with the soon-to-be parents.
The series of poems making up The Lady and the Gray Knight was Alyx’s first work outside the realm of non-fiction, and she had been subjected to nonstop ribbing about how sentimental she had gotten ever since becoming Nathan Callis’ girlfriend. Daria hadn’t stopped winking the entire night while Nik and Constantijin wore smirks that explicitly said, So who was it that said the last thing she’d do was fall for another European billionaire jerk?
It had Alyx gnashing her teeth the whole time. If only it weren’t a crime to bash bottles over their arrogant heads!
“Oh good, you’re back,” Daria exclaimed as soon as Alyx returned to their table after another obligatory round of social calls, with Keanne having dragged her around to meet with other authors, editors, and publishers. “I’ve got something to ask you.”
“What is it?” Alyx took her seat next to Daria and spared a frowning glance at the empty chair on her other side. Where the hell was Nathan? She craned her neck in hopes of catching sight of the ex-model, but he was nowhere to be found.
“So, what do you see here, Anneke??” she heard Daria ask.
Forcing her attention back on the conversation, she turned to see Daria place a pen in front of their friend.
“A pen,” the Dutch heiress promptly answered.
“What about you, Fari?”
The younger woman blinked. “A limited-edition 2013 Mont Blanc pen?”
Daria looked impressed. “You do know your designer labels.”
“A useless talent according to my parents,” Farica answered unhappily.
Daria turned to Yanna. “Any other guess?”
By now everyone had caught on to Daria’s game, and Yanna and the others were doing their best to hide their grins while Alyx sent a ferocious scowl Daria’s way. “Very funny,” she grumbled.
“But I haven’t asked you yet.”
“Don’t bother,” she growled.
Daria said at the same time, “Okay, if you insist, I’ll ask you.”
Alyx gaped. Did Daria not hear what she had just said?
“And you must promise to be truthful,” Daria insisted. “Swear it on your books’ sales, and know that if you lie, the book will be a national flop.”
“Daria!”
The redhead cheerfully waved the pen in Alyx’s face. “What do you see, Alyx?”
“Obviously, I see…”
Love.
“A…pen?”
Daria’s eyes danced in merriment. “Nuh-uh. I know you, Alyx. You see something else. Everything you’ve written in the book is proof that you’re seeing something else.” She waved the pen in front of Alyx again. “What do you see?”
“A...”
Everyone leaned forward eagerly.
“A…”
An aardvark? An apple? An arrow?
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“I see love,” Alyx burst out and shot daggers at everyone. “Happy now?” The way everyone laughed was her answer.
“Tell us why,” Yanna was begging. “Come on, Alyx. Please.”
Knowing she’d end up acting like a sore loser if she didn’t answer, she explained reluctantly, “You think the pen is guided by the hand, but it’s not. The words may flow from the ink coming out of the pen, the fingers moving the pen may be what makes the letters take shape, but it’s, well…”
Alyx’s voice turned into a barely audible mumble as she came to the hard and most embarrassing part.
“It’s the heart…”
The whole table coughed in an ill attempt to hide their laughter at the way Alyx spoke of the last word like it was a shameful secret.
“That’s where the words really come from, and that’s how love works, too. Two persons may make a great couple on paper, your own brain may insist that you should love this person, but in the end it’s the heart that decides…” Alyx stopped, realizing that in spite of her best intentions, she had ended up gushing like an infatuated schoolgirl.
Fuck.
“And that’s that,” she finished gloomily.
Daria threw her arms around Alyx and gave her friend a hug so tight it threatened to choke the life out of Alyx. “You really are in love, Alyx.” She pulled away, saying enthusiastically, “I’m so happy for you!”
Nathan Callis chose that exact moment to return to the table, and having caught Daria’s last words, he took his seat, asking quizzically, “Are you guys talking about the book?”
The other people at the table pretended to be busy, Yanna suddenly pointing to the table centerpiece and asking Constantijin how to say it in Dutch, while Anneke and Farica hastily launched into a detailed discussion of the rather fine qualities of tonight’s table linen.
“It’s so…white,” Farica said lamely.
“And, umm, smooth,” Anneke added just as lamely. “It’s wonderfully smooth to touch!”
Just her luck to have friends who were really good at a lot of things, Alyx thought pessimistically, except acting.
When she caught sight of Daria opening her mouth, the mischievous gleam in her friend’s eyes clued Alyx in, and she leaned towards Daria, muttering threateningly under her breath, “Say one word, and I’ll find a way to get myself crushing on your husband again.”
Said husband, who had also heard the threat, blanched, and not wanting to leave anything to fate, Nik Alexandropoulos swiftly decided to take matters into his own hands. “Daria?” As soon as his wife turned to him, Nik seized her mouth.
Satisfied, Alyx turned to face Nathan, saying innocently, “What’s that you’re asking?”
Nathan dealt her an odd look but asked all the same, “Were you talking about the book’s success?”
Alyx didn’t even hesitate. “Yep.” Everyone nodded and agreed, except for Daria, who Nik still kept busy with his kiss.
“Where have you been?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Ah.” A vaguely distracted look fell over Nathan’s handsome face. “Just a bit of trouble with the project I’ve undertaken for my godfather.” It was not precisely a lie, but it was better than the truth, which was the fact that Rima had been calling him nonstop.
“Anyway, we shouldn’t waste time talking about me, sweetheart. We should focus on you and your budding career as a poet.”
“Yuck.”
Nathan laughed. “But it fits you, sweetheart.”
“It. Does. Not.”
Subjecting her to a contemplative look, he said slowly, “We’ve never talked about it before, but are you planning to eventually go back to your old job?” He knew, of course, that one of the major reasons Alyx had turned her back on her former career was because she had believed falling in love for a married man had made her morally and ethically unfit to be a journalist.
But things had changed now, Nathan thought, more than what either of them expected.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead actually,” Alyx admitted. “But I don’t miss my old job as much as I should.”
“In any case, there’s no need to hurry.”
And th
ere it was again, Alyx thought despairingly. That sexy, mild, accented voice of his which was both an oasis of calm and a force of seduction at the same time.
His fingers suddenly twined with hers under the table, and when she glanced at him in surprise, he gave her a little smile that made her melt in different ways.
“Y-you really shouldn’t do that,” she whispered.
He turned to her, asking under his breath, “Do what?”
“I keep telling you.” And even knowing she shouldn’t because she didn’t have an actual reason to, she just couldn’t help it. She reached out to arrange his bow tie, needing an excuse to touch this man that had given her a reason to hold her head up high again. “If you need to bend your lips like the Beckhams---”
Nathan’s broad shoulders shook at Alyx’s choice of words.
“Can’t you be more like Victoria than David? Your legion of fans is going to start trolling my blog again if another new smiling photo of yours shows up on the Internet.”
And of course her words only had him smiling more widely.
“You really love seeing me in hot water, don’t you?” she muttered.
“Yes,” Nathan agreed without hesitation. “Preferably naked and wet, not because of the water, mind you, but because you want my cock---”
Color exploded in her cheeks, and she hissed, “Nathan!” Alyx couldn’t help looking around furtively, making sure that no one else in the table had heard his words.
But then she heard Daria and Nik discussing the stock market, Yanna and Constantijin – infamous for their dislike of politics – were talking about the results of the recent elections, while Anneke and Farica – both of whom had sworn off men – were talking about dating.
“Give it up,” she snarled, throwing her hands up in a fit of frustration.
Her words worked as her friends’ cue, and as the whole table shook with laughter at Alyx’s expense, Constantijin leaned forward, asking Nathan seriously what his girlfriend meant when she mumbled something about this being an ‘FML’ moment.
“Fuck my life,” Nathan explained apologetically.
“Ah.”
Overhearing the conversation, Alyx butted in, saying sweetly, “And let that be your TIL.”
