by Raven Stone
My lips twitched, even as I put my hand in his. “Yes.”
“Thank you.” He helped me out of my chair.
“Think about it, Degarr.” Vonn called out, as we left the pool area.
“That vampire,” Degarr said, as soon as we were out of earshot, “if he wasn’t here, I’m pretty sure he’d be dead in five years.”
“Why? Because of his indecent proposals?” I asked.
He shook his head with a wry smile. “Unfortunately, his proposals aren’t that indecent for vampires. And he doesn’t just take, either. He would happily have sex in front of me if I wanted it, no strings attached. He can be very bold and brash, and he’s very open about how he feels, whether he’s afraid, or whether he wants something sexually.”
I searched his face. “You like him, don’t you?”
“For God’s sake, don’t tell him that,” Degarr said.
I laughed.
“Fine. I won’t. What’s the problem, then?” I asked.
“The vampire who turned him – what we call a latari – was too young and weak to make another vampire. It’s a miracle Vonn didn’t die in the process. But it’s left him weak and underpowered.”
“Shit.” I actually liked Vonn a bit myself, even though I’d only spent an evening with him. “Is there a way to help him?”
“For now, we shelter him here. Long term, we need to find an older vampire, at least over two hundred, to give him blood,” Degarr replied.
I glanced around. “There seem to be a lot of vampires here. Are there any that old?”
He grunted. “A lot, actually. But we need to find someone who’s compatible with Vonn. Someone who likes him. Someone who’s okay with taking him on, since the two of them could be linked for centuries. If we connect him with the wrong vampire, they might kill him just to be free of him, or vice versa.”
“Shit,” I said.
“Yeah. Shit.”
I glanced up at him again. His jaw was tense, and his eyes were somber.
“You care about him,” I said softly. “Even though he annoys the hell out of you, you care about him and what happens to him.”
“Of course. I care about everyone who’s here,” he replied.
I slipped my hand out of his, and came to a stop.
“You care about Gideon too, even though you barely know him.”
“Yes,” he said simply.
I reached out, gently touching his jaw and bringing his gaze to mine.
“Do you care about me like you care about Vonn and Gideon? Or am I more like Gabriel? Where am I on this spectrum of yours?” I asked.
My heart was racing.
He grabbed my hand, pulling it away from his face and pressing a kiss into my palm.
But he said nothing.
“Degarr?” I prompted.
“I’m afraid if I tell you, that you’ll run,” he said quietly.
Shit.
Disappointment crashed through me.
“Oh.” I slipped my hand out of his grasp, swallowing hard as I turned away.
Stupid, stupid girl.
“Nadia,” he said roughly.
Before I could take another step, he grabbed me, turning me towards him. He raised my face to his.
“You’re more like Gabriel,” he said.
Then his lips crashed against mine.
Baby.
Chapter 70
Nadia – New York
Two months later
I’d given up on using blankets or top sheets. They were completely unnecessary when you slept in a bed with werewolves.
I woke up in the afternoon with two hot furry bodies on either side of me. Degarr was spending the day sleeping in Orleande’s bed. We’d all fallen into a habit; whenever Degarr spent the day with his boyfriend or girlfriend, the wolves slept with me. None of us had broached the topic of me getting my own room. This way seemed to work seamlessly, and I found I didn’t care about having my own place.
I rolled onto my back, and stared up at the ceiling.
Was I on vacation? Or was I moving here?
I’d started seeing that question in Degarr’s eyes around the same time I’d started wondering it myself. I had more than enough money to take an extended time off, now that I had access to my accounts again. In fact, if I lived here – apparently rent free based on what Zine and some of the other humans had told me – then I could pick and choose the jobs I wanted to take. Based on all of that, I could live here for a very long time.
The question was, did I want to?
This thing between Degarr and me. It was a relationship. It was more. And Fiona was trying to help guide me through it. Degarr had been right. His life was complicated. Living with his friends, and his other lovers, was complicated.
Hell, the whole werewolf thing added another complication. I’d never considered that I would share a bed with werewolves. Seriously, who would?
Who would ever think that they would one day share a bed with a vampire and werewolves? The whole thing sounded crazy, but it was true.
And I knew that Degarr was feeding from other humans. I knew he had to, just like I knew there was sexual activity involved when he did. He’d made it clear that I was important to him, and that he didn’t have any favorites other than me, but what if one day he wanted to bring a human to our bed? How would I feel about that?
I blew out a breath, and threw an arm over my head. Fiona had told me she had a good friend named Lena, who helped people with poly relationships. Somehow I felt I was going to need her help to walk through this minefield.
Fuck ’em and dump ’em sure seemed a lot easier.
But then, I would miss out when Degarr ate chocolate mousse, or shot an affectionate look my way, or even gave me that sultry smile that sent ripples of heat through me every time.
Degarr, picking me up and fucking me against the wall, holding me the whole time like I only weighed five pounds.
Degarr, cuddling me in his arms while we watched movies with Gabriel and Fiona.
And his friends and lovers had welcomed me with open arms. They made me feel like I was a part of them, like I belonged here.
This was something special, and I knew it.
The question was, could I do this?
Chapter 71
Nadia – New York
I always felt something, some sort of disturbance, or movement in the air, or prickling along my skin, whenever a werewolf changed forms, even if I wasn’t looking at them. I felt it now, and then I felt the bed dip as Jamie got up. It took mere moments for him to reach into a nearby drawer and pull out a pair of underwear.
That was a rule I’d insisted on. Any werewolves cuddling in bed with me in their human form had to wear something over their private parts. They’d grumbled, but they’d eventually agreed.
He slipped on the underwear, and I rolled onto my side. Jamie got back into bed and reached for me. His fingers stroked the back of my neck, just skirting my Wolf’s Patch.
“What’s got you already awake and worried? Is it the background check?” he asked.
Sure, let’s go with that.
I’d finally worked up the courage to ask for my copy, and Degarr had reluctantly agreed. That reluctance had my stomach in knots.
He knew. He had to know.
And what the fuck was I going to do when I had proof of that?
That was one of the reasons I was wondering if I could do all of this. For the first time in years, I might be spending time – hell, living with – someone who knew my story.
Could I handle that?
Jamie took my silence as a yes. His hand stroked down my back, his touch soft, and his fingers warm.
“Garr let you come home with us. That means there’s nothing bad in there. You’re not dangerous to us,” he said.
I rolled over to face him, and as soon as I did, I felt Gideon shifting behind me. I kept my eyes on Jamie, though, tracing my fingers over his jawline before burying my head in his chest. Gideon slipped back in
to bed and spooned me, his arm going around my waist.
If I left, this was something else I would miss. It was something I couldn’t get anywhere else. And it wasn’t like I could explain it to anyone; how I’d come to crave whatever the hell the wolves and I were doing.
We cuddled. We rubbed up against each other. We crawled over each other. They said we all wound up smelling like each other, and that Degarr’s scent somehow kept magically wrapping around us.
I just felt warm, and comforted, and loved.
I swallowed thickly and didn’t reply, as Jamie draped an arm and a leg over me and Gideon. Then Gideon nuzzled into one side of my neck, and Jamie did the same with the other.
I burned between them, my body heating up like I was seated in front of a roaring fire, but I didn’t give a fuck. I would gladly burn to a crisp before I stopped doing this.
Then how the hell was I going to do this if I was in Chicago?
How in the hell was I going to spoon feed Degarr chocolate mousse and then slip onto his dick if I was in Chicago?
I sighed.
I needed to read that background check. Then I would decide how much trouble I was in.
“Can you tell me?” Jamie murmured.
“I need to read that report, Jamie,” I admitted.
“What does it even matter?” Gideon asked. “You’re here. With us.” His open mouth ran across the back of my neck, sending warmth down my spine. “You don’t care about our past, and we don’t care about yours.”
“Degarr did,” I said softly.
Jamie ran his thumb between my eyebrows, trying to smooth the tension there. “Because he protects everyone. That’s his job. But he’s fine with whatever’s in that report, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.” His golden eyes met mine. “You know this, Nadia, so don’t tell me that’s what is bugging you. And you could have asked for the report at any time, but you waited until now. You’re trying to decide something, aren’t you?”
Damn him.
I chewed on my lip.
That’s exactly what I was trying to do. Finding out the contents of the report – finding out exactly how much Degarr knew – was a decision point. I knew, in my bones, that it would tip me one way or another. The trouble was, I didn’t know where it would lead.
If Degarr had discovered my biggest secret, would it mean I would leave? Or stay?
Chapter 72
Nadia – New York
Degarr sat across from me at the small kitchen table. The two wolves sat in the living room. They’d been playing a video game, but they’d stopped as soon as Degarr sat down. Everyone’s attention was on that damn report, and the air was thick with tension.
“You don’t have to read this, you know,” Degarr said.
I eyed the folder in his hand. It was thick. That was more than a damn two-page report. I held out my hand.
“Just hand it over already.” My voice sounded a lot calmer than my heart. That felt like I was trying to lap the surface of the Earth in five minutes flat.
He gave it to me. I took the folder, then put it on the table and carefully opened it.
It wasn’t long before the first tear found its way down my face.
They were damn thorough. This wasn’t a background check; this was a crawl up your ass report. They had everything. My brother dying when I was four. My sister’s death – all of two days old – when I was seven. My parents dying together in a car crash when I was ten.
Death stalks you, butterfly.
Misha’s words came back to me, unbidden.
I turned the pages, looking at photos, some of which I’d never seen before, and a few that brought more tears to my eyes. My parents’ wedding photos. Pictures of my brother as a baby. A few school pictures of me.
I stared at Degarr. “Five days. You did this in just five days.”
He shrugged. “Our people are very, very good.”
Apparently so.
I swept the tears from my eyes and steeled myself for the next set of pages. I knew what was coming.
I turned the page, and stared at my biggest secret, printed there like it was nothing.
Pavel, the Subject’s uncle, put her in the care of Russian oligarch Alexei Lebedev shortly after her parents’ death. Based on the large sum of money that appeared in Pavel’s account soon after, it appears he was paid to turn her over.
The reason for this transaction becomes apparent as Alexei soon gained a reputation for finding anyone and anything, causing his fortune to skyrocket and cementing his position. Alexei used this wealth to expand his holdings and business dealings to such a degree that his fortune and reputation suffered only a small loss when the Subject left.
All evidence points to the Subject being an exceptionally talented and rare Seeker.
A noise, a warble, escaped me. I promptly clapped a hand over my mouth.
Degarr had all of my secrets. Every single one, including the most dangerous.
The investigator was right. Alexei Lebedev had paid my uncle handsomely for the privilege of “caring” for me. He’d had me searching for items and people before my tears had dried.
I flipped through more photos, shocked at what they’d been able to find. There were pictures of some of Misha’s estates, and some very rare photos of me growing up, including a few as we had travelled.
I turned another page, and forgot to breathe.
I didn’t remember this picture being taken, but I knew the night very well. It was the night I’d turned eighteen. Misha had taken me to the ballet for my birthday.
In the picture, he stood in the center, looking very formal in his black suit. His wife, Agrafina, was on his left, wearing a beaded gown that showed off her curves. I stood on his right, wearing a simple, floor-length black gown that I’d hated at the time, although now I could see it was actually elegant.
That night a woman had approached me in the bathroom, quietly telling me that she could help me escape from Misha. She’d been right. She’d put her life on the line for me, and she’d delivered on that promise. She’d helped me to escape him, and then she’d helped me get to the West, and she’d never asked me for anything in return.
I also knew I wasn’t the only person she’d helped like that.
As soon as I’d made enough money on my own, I’d bought her a house. A haven, paid in full, and safely tucked away in Canada.
I stared down at the photo. That night had changed everything. What if Misha hadn’t taken me? I swallowed, wondering if I ever would have gotten out.
Then I pushed the thought aside, and turned the page.
The Subject spent a year on the run after leaving Lebedev’s home. Subject finally appeared in Canada, before moving to the United States (refer to Addendum A with a list of known and suspected aliases).
Subject has a habit of moving frequently and changing names. She uses her Seeker talents to earn money and -
I scanned the rest, no longer surprised to see they had the majority of the names I’d used over the years, the places I’d stayed, and even a good selection of pictures. I reached the final page and slowed down.
Except for the Subject’s brief time with The Crew, Subject has had no real interactions with people who hunt vampires. Her interaction with this team appears to be a fluke, a circumstance of the situation she found herself in, rather than a fundamental change in her beliefs, or a strong desire to hunt vampires.
It is also important to note that she stopped selling information after she moved to the United States. In an industry that thrives on the selling and buying of secrets, the Subject doesn’t sell them. She buys information, but only shares that with clients, at best. There’s every indication she’s loyal and will keep secrets and confidential information to herself.
Conclusion: Subject is a low risk for spreading or selling information.
Subject has had self-defense training, but doesn’t have a history of violence. There’s no indication she’s had military training, weapons training, or combat traini
ng. She isn’t a physical risk to herself or others at this time.
Conclusion: Subject is a low risk for becoming a physical danger to our people.
I turned the page, putting it face down. “This isn’t just a background check. This is an evaluation.”
“All background checks are evaluations,” Degarr replied.
I raised my head, and let my eyes trail over him.
He hadn’t been lying.
He didn’t want my secrets so he could sell them, or use them against me, or wreck my life. He just wanted to know who I was; to figure out if I was a risk to him, or to the people he loved and cared about.
God.
Degarr reached for me, his hand coming to a halt with his fingers just inches away from my face.
“You’re crying again,” he said softly.
I managed a nod, because the lump in my throat was too big to talk around.
“May I hold you?” he asked.
I shut the folder, tears spilling down my face. Then I nodded.
He got up, then came around the table and swept me up into his arms. He carried me back to the bed, gently lowering me to it, then joined me and pulled me into his arms.
I buried my head into his chest, dimly registering two furry bodies joining us. Then I let go, crying as unashamedly as the night we’d gone to the abandoned house, cradled in Degarr’s arms, and surrounded by wolves.
Chapter 73
Nadia – New York
Trust.
Trust felt like a fragile thing, cupped in my hands like a delicate flower. But after that night with Degarr and the report, I could feel its soft petals against my skin.
I’d handed the report over to Jamie and Gideon to read the next night. My heart was racing while I did it, but I knew in my bones that they cared about me.
They’d shared the report, quietly reading it together, until they turned the last page as one and closed the folder. Then the two of them got off the couch, and embraced me in a warm hug.
