by Pat Warren
She hadn’t deliberately sought love, Kate thought as she felt his warm breath on her cheek. She’d wanted only a job and a place to live until she could regroup. Instead, she’d found a man who needed loving as much as she did, and a baby who’d come to mean the world to her. In the early years, she’d been bathed in love, yet after having to leave the farmhouse, she’d never quite felt she belonged with the Spencers. With Aaron, she felt at home, at peace.
If only he’d recognize that they had something very rare and special between them.
The song ended, and he gazed down at her. It felt so good holding her. He didn’t want to let her go. “Do you want to go back to the table and listen to more boring architectural discussions or do you want to dance some more?”
She smiled up at him. “No contest.” She snuggled into his embrace and let him lead her around the floor.
Johnny bided his time, then stepped up to them just as the last dance was announced, giving Kate his most dazzling smile. “I believe this one’s ours.”
She smiled back but didn’t let go of Aaron’s hand. “I’m afraid I’ve promised this dance to your brother.”
Johnny’s smile slipped a bit, but he decided to be a gentleman. “Then I’ll say good-night and hope we meet again, very soon.”
Aaron guided them around the floor, his mind still on Johnny. “He’s nothing if not persistent. I’d say he’s got a real case on you.”
“I outgrew his type years ago,” she said, then tightened her hold on him.
Aaron returned the pressure as he held her close.
They were among the last to leave, saying good-night to William Carver by the elevators. Johnny and his date were nowhere to be seen. They stepped off the elevator on the sixth floor, where their rooms were located, Aaron wishing the evening didn’t have to end. At her door, he inserted the key, then turned to her. “Thank you for coming with me.”
She looked up at him with luminous eyes. “Thank you for inviting me.”
Conflicting emotions warred inside him. He wanted to pick her up, take her in to that big double bed and lose himself in her. He wanted to love her all night long and wake up with her reaching for him.
But he couldn’t do that to Kate. It wouldn’t be fair to lead her on when he was so uncertain about his own feelings, about what was right and what was wrong, about what the future held for both of them. He needed time.
Gently, he kissed her cheek. “Good night,” he whispered. Disappointing them both, he turned and walked across the hall to his own room, quickly going inside.
Keyed up, angry, tense, Aaron tossed his key onto the dresser and took off his jacket. He hadn’t been able to meet Kate’s eyes as he’d left her, knowing what he’d see there. He held out his hands and saw they were trembling. He’d never been an indecisive person. What the hell had happened to him?
Just as he loosened his tie, he heard a knock on his door. He walked over to open it.
She stood there in her bare feet, half turned to show him her back. “I’m sorry to bother you, but my zipper’s stuck. I can’t get it up or down. Could you help?”
He saw smooth flesh and the edge of a red satin bra. Aaron grabbed her hand and pulled her into his room.
Chapter Nine
“What are you doing out in the hallway half-undressed?” Aaron demanded.
“I told you,” Kate said in her most reasonable tone, “my zipper’s stuck and I need help.”
“Anyone could have walked by and seen you halfnaked outside my room, banging on the door to get in. Someone we know, even.”
“Banging on the door? Half naked? Hardly. Besides, I don’t know too many people who’d be shocked to catch a glimpse of my bare back. Can you think of one?” She was being maddeningly and deliberately obtuse.
“You know, I have a certain reputation to uphold.” Aaron had no idea why he was ranting about; he just knew if he stopped talking, he’d be in big trouble. “Besides, anyone seeing you alone out there, especially in that dress, might get the wrong idea. What if some guy happened along and really came on to you?”
Kate pretended to consider that. “I’ve never thought I was the type to drive a man wild, but I guess you can never tell.” She cocked her head at him, enjoying herself tremendously. “Are you going to just stand there or are you going to help me?”
“Turn around,” he ordered, wiping his damp hands on his trouser legs, then bending to the task at hand. She really did have a problem. A tiny scrap of material was caught in the zipper’s teeth. Carefully, he tried to move the tab upward. The pressure only seemed to ensnare the material further. Shifting his bold on the seam, he tried to pull the zipper tab down. It wouldn’t budge. His fingers brushed her warm skin and found it smooth as silk, distracting him. Annoyed, he lashed out at her. “How in hell did you get this so jammed?”
He was definitely getting testy, Kate thought. “Accidents happen, you know.”
He wasn’t sure about that. Her voice held a hint of amusement that annoyed him further. And she kept wiggling around, deliberately diverting him. “Will you hold still?” Irritated to the max, he yanked at the zipper harder than he meant to. The pull tab came off the track, the two sides of the dress parted and her back was revealed from neck to just below her waistline.
“Uh-oh,” Kate murmured.
Aaron found his eyes riveted to a swatch of red satin panties. “Damn,” he muttered, turning away. “I’m sorry. I’ll pay for the damn thing.” He grabbed his jacket. “Here, you can put this on to go back to your room and—What are you doing?” While he’d turned to get his jacket, she’d swung around and let the dress flutter to the floor and pool around her bare feet. She stood before him wearing red panties, a low-cut red bra and a very female smile.
“It’s ruined anyway.” She kicked it aside, her heart hammering crazily in her chest, but she kept her eyes steady on his. She was taking the biggest risk of her life. But someone had to make the first move, and apparently it wasn’t going to be Aaron. If he rejected her now, she’d lose everything. But she’d taken that first step in coming to his room, and there was nothing to do but go for it. “I’ve never thrown myself at a man before,” she told him.
Foolishly, he stood with his jacket dangling from one hand while trying to keep his eyes on just her face. “This isn’t a good time to begin, and I’m the wrong man to try it on. I’m not what you need, Kate.”
“I haven’t asked you for a commitment.” Although that was what she longed for, what she’d prayed for. “I haven’t asked for promises or declarations of undying love.”
“Good, because I don’t have any to give you.” Somewhat unsteadily, he tossed his jacket on the chair and thrust his hands into his pockets. “I’ve been down that road. Marriage isn’t for me.”
“I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to make love with me.” The hardest words she’d ever said.
“No!” A helpless need had his heart pounding and his mouth dry. He wet his lips, knowing he had to get her out of his room and fast, before his body took charge of his mind and banished his resolve. “I don’t want that.”
“Is that right?” Kate slowly slipped a bra strap off one shoulder.
His eyes widened. “Now what are you doing?”
“Seeing if you really do want me.” She took a step closer and lowered the other strap.
“Damn it, Kate, don’t do this. I’m not in the mood.” He quickly turned his back on her before his hands reached to take what she was offering.
“Really?” She moved behind him and, with two fingers, yanked down his suspenders.
Turning around as he pulled the suspenders back into place, he scowled at her. “This is crazy. You’re not like this.”
“I’m not? Let’s find out.” She stepped closer, slipped his tie from beneath his collar, opened the next two studs and slid one hand beneath his shirt, touching his bare chest. Thank goodness he couldn’t read her mind, Kate thought, and realize how frightened she was of the huge gamb
le she was taking. She wasn’t without some experience, but she’d never played the seductress, never had to. She was flying by the seat of her pants on this one, and deathly afraid of a crash landing.
Aaron’s strong fingers closed over her wrist as he removed her hand. “You’re playing with fire. You’re going to get hurt.”
“I like to take chances.” Which wasn’t really a hundred percent true, but what the hell. She eased her hand from his grip and ran her fingers over the shirt covering his chest, then up over his shoulders, caressing, exploring. As her hand roamed back, she felt his heart thudding beneath her touch and decided he wasn’t as unmoved as he wanted her to believe.
It took every ounce of willpower that Aaron possessed to resist, to not reveal what he was feeling. He would hold firm until she tired of her silly game. When she finally realized he wasn’t going to respond, she’d feel humiliated at her feeble attempt and leave. He hated hurting her that way, but it was every man for himself in the war of the sexes.
He was strong; she’d give him that. She had to pull out bigger guns. Rising on tiptoe, she brushed her mouth across his, lightly at first, and met resistance. She licked his lips slowly, thoroughly, then pressed her mouth to his again, coaxing a response. She felt him quiver with tension, but he didn’t kiss her back.
He didn’t move, hardly blinked. It was becoming a contest of wills, and Aaron knew that Kate had no idea how close he was to throwing in the towel. His muscles ached from the tension of holding back, and his pulse pounded, echoing in his head. She was better at this than he’d ever dreamed, and he was, after all, only flesh and blood. Quivering flesh and heated blood, at that.
He saw that she was about to kiss him again and decided to let her know the score. He grabbed her arms and held her away, his eyes wanting to linger on her full breasts heaving with every breath she took, his mouth trembling with the need to taste her. “Making love isn’t a game with a winner and a loser, Kate. I’ll admit that I do want you, but I haven’t been with a woman in nearly a year. It could be over in seconds. Is that what you want, a quickie?”
She wouldn’t allow him to bait her or to insult her. The room was dim, with only the bedside lamp glowing softly. Yet she could see his face clearly, the fear warring with the need. “It’ll do for starters. After all, we have all night.”
Aaron ground his teeth. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I think I do.” Defiantly, her eyes challenged him. “What’s the matter, are you afraid?”
That did it. Aaron’s control snapped. “No, but you should be.” He took her mouth with all the stored-up need he’d had simmering since she’d walked into his life. Tonight, he’d wanted to protect her, to give her a chance to save face, go back to her room and no harm done. But she’d refused to back down and finally she’d pushed him too far. Every man had a breaking point.
His hands weren’t terribly gentle as they roamed over her, molding her slender form to his yearning body. His mouth on hers wasn’t soft, but hard enough to make his every desire known. His fingers found satin, slippery and soft, then the silken flesh of her thigh, arousing him further.
Unable to resist, he slipped his hand beneath the waistband, seeking and finding. He swallowed her moan as she tensed, then dug her fingers into his shoulders. Steadying her with one arm, he drove her up, higher and still higher, until she jolted, then went limp against him. He picked her up and moved them both to the bed.
Kate’s breath was coming out in gasps as her wide eyes stared up at him. He’d toed off his shoes and was struggling to remove his pants, his gaze never leaving her face. Still, he had to ask. “Are you sure you want to go through with this, lady? Because we’ve only just begun.”
In answer, she held out her arms to him. Wearing only briefs, he came to her. With mouth and teeth and tongue, he feasted on her, teasing, tormenting, driving her to heights she’d only dreamed of. Kate could merely hold on and let him take her where he would. Eager for each new move, she found herself more aroused than she’d ever been, more needy than she’d thought it possible to be.
His hands—they were so clever, knowing exactly where to touch, how to pleasure. His mouth—it was everywhere, tasting, provoking, torturing. His teeth nipped, skimmed, nibbled along her earlobes, the tendons of her neck. He had her breathless, begging, bordering on insanity as he denied her searching hands access so they could end this madness.
“Too soon, little lady,” he whispered, his voice husky. She murmured a protest he ignored as he found a new pleasure point and delighted in the discovery. With sureness of purpose, he tossed aside her bra and skimmed off her panties, reveling in the beauty he’d uncovered.
She’d never been touched like this before, Kate knew, not so knowledgeably, so completely, so urgently. She’d never been kissed with such expertise, his lips drinking from her, his tongue driving her wild and still wilder. She’d never felt like this, incredibly alive, yet her limbs were so heavy and her head so light. She’d never truly made love before, she realized.
His mouth on her breast had her drawing in a deep, shuddering breath that pleased him to no end. She tasted sweet, exotic, elementally female. It strengthened him to know he could make her shudder, make her plead, make her moan out loud. He eased off, letting up for moments at a time, then with renewed energy went back to work his magic on her again.
Kate was strung so tight with need, desperate to have him inside her, and still he took his time, kissing the inside of her elbow, the skin of her abdomen and returning to her waiting mouth. Determined and made bold by desire, her hands reached again to shove off his briefs, and this time he let her. At last, her fingers closed around him, and she sighed in undisguised pleasure.
Aaron knew he had no time to waste. Shifting them both, he joined with her, plunging to the depths, and heard her cry of stunned response. As he began to move, her hands tangled in his hair, and she pulled him to her, kissing him deeply. In moments, they found the rhythm, hearts beating together as they climbed.
But Kate had one more need. She angled her head back, breaking the kiss. “Open your eyes,” she demanded, and watched while he did. She saw the hazy passion in his, the dark intensity that was such a part of him. But more important she saw that he knew who was making love with him.
Breathing hard, moving fast, he saw her smile and knew why she’d wanted him to look at her. In a hoarse whisper, he spoke her name a moment before they catapulted over the edge of the world.
Regrets were for the morning after, Aaron thought as he lay looking out at the night sky. It wasn’t even dawn, and he was already experiencing them big time.
It wasn’t that he regretted making love to Kate. What man wouldn’t want her, especially as she was last night? But this particular man couldn’t allow himself to get involved again. Loving, caring too much, meant that your heart, body and soul belonged to another. When you gave people that kind of power, everything they did could ultimately hurt you. Whether they left of their own free will or were taken from you by some quick, fatal disease, either way the results were the same. You were left alone and aching. Call it desertion, abandonment or death, you were robbed of a future you’d hoped would be happy.
He’d expected to feel guilty after making love to a woman other than Stephanie, even though his wife was dead. He’d waited nearly a year, and yet it wasn’t guilt so much as fear that he felt. Fear that he’d put himself in a position to be hurt again.
He turned his head to look at Kate still curled around him, warm and soft, limbs heavy with sleep, her mouth slightly swollen from his endless kisses. Her hair fanned out on the pillow next to his was like a dream he’d envisioned many a restless night. Her hand lay in his, so trusting. It was easy to believe, with her fingers entwined with his, that neither of them would ever break that trust.
But he knew someone would.
Yet even knowing that, he wanted her again, wanted her still. From the moment she’d touched him and even before, he’d wanted h
er, wanted to lie just like this with her. It felt so damn good to hold her and it felt so damn right. But he knew it wasn’t, that he was deluding himself. There was no such thing as forever. The jealous gods would move in and rip his heart out again.
It was too high a price to pay.
Kate shifted slightly in her sleep, easing her head onto his shoulder, squirming around until she was more comfortable, her eyes never opening. He watched her with a mixture of sadness and pleasure. She was everything good, everything sweet and kind. He would hurt her by easing her out of his life now, but not nearly as much as he’d be hurt when she left him after she already owned his heart. He had to think of Jamie, who was beginning to care for Kate more every day. Better to make a clean break before the bond was too strong. Next time, he’d hire a nanny that was more like Fitz, a grandmotherly type.
Yet he couldn’t ask Kate to leave just yet. That would be too cruel, especially at Christmastime. He wasn’t Scrooge. He’d wait until the time was right and then he’d find a way. She’d never seen the hard side of him, the tough businessman, the rigid-disciplinarian role he could assume. He’d show that side to her, and she’d choose to leave on her own. It’d be better that way.
But until then, until he could separate them as painlessly as possible, he would indulge himself just a little. He would hold her, comfort and be comforted and hope the pleasure would be enough to last through all the cold days and nights after he’d sent her away.
Tightening his arms around Kate, Aaron closed his eyes.
Kate awoke feeling strange, as if there’d been a sudden noise she could no longer hear, some change in the atmosphere. Her eyes moved about the dim room, but she saw nothing unusual, heard nothing. Beside her, Aaron had his eyes closed, his breathing slow and easy. Yet she sensed that something was different, as if some monumental decision had been made while she’d been asleep and she’d had no say in the matter.
