by Pat Warren
“I’ll try.” She didn’t know if she could bear hearing little updates on Jamie, that she was talking and toilet trained and all the rest. Perhaps a clean break would be. best.
“Is it still bad out?” Fitz got up and glanced out the window. “Maybe you should wait until morning.” Maybe she’d go to Aaron’s room and shake some sense into his hard head.
“I really need to go now. I’ve only a few things to pack.” Fighting tears, she smiled. “Goodbye, Fitz. I won’t forget you.”
Fitz needed one last hug and went over to get it. “Nor I you, child. Be careful. The world’s a rough place.”
Hadn’t she learned that over and over? Kate thought as she hurried to her room.
“Well, Aaron, what do you think?” Fitz asked. “Do you want to give her a trial run, or shall we keep on interviewing?”
Anger sat on his shoulders like a hair shirt he couldn’t shrug off. His days were miserable, his nights a living hell. Fitz looked at him constantly with undisguised disapproval and disappointment. His father shared her opinion and had even suggested today that perhaps Aaron ought to take some time off, for he wasn’t fit to be around at the office. Two short weeks, and things had gone from bad to terrible.
But the worst was Jamie. He hadn’t even known that she knew how to say Kate’s name, but he knew now. The child wandered the house, going to the doors, looking out the windows, her face sad and often tearstained. And always she called out, “Kay…Kay.” She woke up crying and called for Kate, and went to her crib each evening with the same sad chant. She wouldn’t eat very much, just wanted her bottle, even though Kate had very nearly weaned her. She was reverting, and he couldn’t think how to stop it.
He heard Fitz clear her throat pointedly and glanced down at the application for employment in front of him. The agency had sent over nearly a dozen applicants. None suited. He’d found something wrong or lacking with each and every one.
He remembered thinking weeks ago that he should hire an older woman as nanny, one closer to Fitz’s age, a woman who wouldn’t remind him that he was a man with a man’s needs. Now here she was, out in the living room after both he and Fitz had talked with her. Madeline Walker was fifty-eight, a widow with two married children and four grandchildren, and she was tired of living alone. She preferred being called Maddy, loved kids, had a pleasant manner and seemed to have plenty of energy. He tapped his fingers on the desktop thoughtfully.
“Aaron,” Fitz interrupted, thinking he needed a nudge, “she’s the best of the bunch. I can’t keep up the house and care for Jamie, too. I’m long past being able to do that. Please, let’s give Maddy a try.” She was about at the end of her rope with more work than she cared to do, a sullen employer and a baby who moped around all day crying for someone who would never return. If it weren’t for Jamie, she’d have given notice, too, Fitz thought, for she was too old for this much tension.
“All right,” Aaron finally said, his voice resigned. “Tell her we’ll give her a week’s trial. You work out the details with her.” He swung his chair around and stared out at a bleak February sky. It was turning into a long winter in more ways than one.
“I hope that Jamie likes her,” Fitz muttered.
“She will. She’ll adjust. We all will.” Moodily, he listened to Fitz leave. Damn right they would. Jamie was a baby. She’d formed a slight attachment to Kate, but she needed to expand her horizons and get to know and like all sorts of people. Fitz would probably enjoy having someone around who was closer to her age. And he’d be able to concentrate on work again, God willing.
He’d always thought that March was the bleakest month of the twelve, especially in Michigan. His coat collar turned up against the freezing wind coming off the river and blowing snow everywhere, Aaron struggled his way to his back door. Where was the kid he’d hired to shovel snow? There was scarcely a path, much less a clear walk. Did he have to do everything himself to get things done right?
Walking in, he heard Jamie fussing before he’d closed the back door. Frowning, he entered the kitchen and saw that Maddy was trying to feed his daughter, but Jamie was batting away the spoon at each attempt. Standing at the stove, Fitz turned to him. “Welcome home. We hope your day went better than ours.”
Annoyed that two very capable women couldn’t manage both his child and his home, he hung his coat up and walked over. “What seems to be the problem?”
Maddy had joined them with a sunny disposition. Gradually, it had disappeared, replaced by an exasperated look. “She just doesn’t want to eat, Mr. Carver,” she answered.
“Kate used to say that when a child’s hungry, they’ll eat, and when they won’t eat, there’s a reason.” Her expression bland, Fitz kept her eyes on Jamie.
Growing more irritated by the minute, especially at having Kate’s name brought up regularly, he pulled a chair over to Jamie and put on a smile. “Hi, sweetheart. Let Daddy help you.” He scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and held it to her mouth. Staring right at him, she shook her head. “Come on, sweetie, just a little bit more. For Daddy?”
Reluctantly, Jamie opened wide and took the potatoes.
Aaron flashed a victory smile at both ladies and scooped in more. Then he got in a third. “Nothing to it,” he said.
That was when Jamie puckered up and blew the entire mouthful of soggy mashed potatoes directly into her father’s face. While he sputtered and swore under his breath, she stared at him, wide-eyed at what she’d done, then burst into tears.
“I’ll just take her on upstairs and give her a bath,” Maddy said, whisking the child out of the chair.
Aaron tossed down the spoon and reached for a napkin. This was just the perfect topper to a grueling day in which he’d accomplished far less than he should have. “I give up.”
Leaning against the counter, Fitz eyed him. “You’re good at that, aren’t you? Giving up, I mean. You do it well and quite often.”
Aaron scraped the last of the mess from his face, noticing that his tie was stained, as well, and got up. “I don’t feel like going into this right now, Fitz.” Only her long service to both his father and him kept Aaron from saying more.
“Nor do I, but it appears someone has to speak up, and I don’t see any other hands in the air. I’ll speak my piece, Aaron Carver, and then you can fire me or do whatever else you wish.” She waited until he sat down again, a resigned look on his grim face, before seating herself across from him. Even as a youngster, she’d seldom had to call Aaron to task, unlike his wayward brother. But occasionally, even a good man needed reminding.
“I’ve tended to you, boy and man, watched you grow up and been as proud of you as I would be if you were my own. I sat with you when your wife took ill and watched you bury her, knowing you loved her still.”
Aaron raised his eyes to her face, his expression unreadable, but she had his attention. Fitz so seldom lectured that when she did, he found himself listening in spite of his determination not to.
“You had no choice when you lost Stephanie,” Fitz went on, “as I didn’t when my Sean was taken from me. You railed against the fates, and I understood all too well. Then a beautiful young woman came into your life, her heart so full of love. She gave that love to Jamie and to you, but you threw it back in her face. Only a fool turns away from the love of a good woman, and I’ve never thought you to be a fool, Aaron. I know, too, that Stephanie wouldn’t want you to be grieving nor her babe to grow up in a household with two old women and a miserable father.” Intently, she watched him, letting her words sink in.
Finally, Aaron spoke, his voice sounding tired and defeated. “What if it happens again, Fitz? What if she gets tired of everything, or someone new catches her eye, like with my mother, and she walks away? Or what if something happens, and Kate dies, too? You know the story of her family. The father died, the mother was taken away ill and God only knows where she wound up, her three children scattered to the winds. I don’t see why I should put myself at risk for all that again.
It’s too hard.”
“Dear boy, you’re stronger than you think. You can’t keep yourself from loving simply because you’re afraid of death. Dying’s a part of living. As to desertion, I’d stake my life that Kate would never have left if you hadn’t driven her away. Are you willing to lose all the years the both of you might have over something that might never take place till you’re older than I am?”
But Aaron was stubborn in his thinking. “You’re giving advice you never took yourself. You never remarried.”
“No, I didn’t, because I never met another man I could love. You don’t replace gold with copper. I’m thinking that Kate’s as solid gold as you’ll find, wouldn’t you say?”
He was quiet a long time, scrubbing his hand across his face. “I don’t know, Fitz. I want her back, but it’s such a gamble. This way, Jamie’s young and she’ll soon forget Kate, and so will I.”
Fitz got to her feet slowly. “If you believe that, you’re a bigger fool than I thought. Wake up, man. You broke her heart, and now it’s killing you, and Jamie, too—all three of you miserable. Forget her? No, you won’t. Even the little one can’t.” She repositioned the chair. “Go after her, Aaron. You’re only half a man without her.” She left the room then, left him with much to think over.
Seated at his desk in his office, Aaron looked out the window on a sunny April morning. It had rained for nearly a week, but spring was in the air. And spring was a time of rebirth, of hope.
His father had always told him that it takes a big man to admit he’s made a mistake. He’d spent a lot of time thinking, working things out in his own mind. He hadn’t been able to act until he’d been certain this time. Finally today, he’d had a long talk with William and he’d admitted that he had made a monumental mistake in causing Kate to leave him and Jamie.
For the first time in weeks, Dad had smiled with genuine warmth. Aaron was amazed at how much better he, too, felt in just making the decision. He’d hinted as much to Fitz when she’d served his tea this morning in the kitchen. He’d never known her to be impulsive, yet she’d rushed over and given him a big hug.
The phone rang and he swung back, hoping it was the call he’d been expecting. He didn’t know where Kate was, and she’d been gone since the middle of January. The one person she’d mentioned most was her uncle, Tom Spencer, who’d been easy enough to locate. He knew they didn’t get along, but he was certain that Tom would know where Kate was. He’d put in a call to the man earlier and was told he’d phone back.
Spencer’s voice was curt and businesslike, without an ounce of warmth, but he listened courteously as Aaron explained that he was looking for his niece, Kate.
“Sorry, but I can’t help you,” Tom Spencer said.
Aaron frowned. “She hasn’t been in touch with you?”
“No, she hasn’t. Kate and I are not the best of friends, never have been.”
“I realize that. All I want is an address or a phone number.”
“I have no reason to assist you.” Tom Spencer hung up the phone.
Surprised by the man’s churlish behavior, Aaron shook his head. That certainly was a dead end. He remembered that when they’d first met, Kate had been staying at a nearby cottage her parents had owned. Maybe she’d gone there. It shouldn’t take but a few phone calls to locate the place, on Pine Street, he recalled.
Within half an hour, he learned that the cottage, in Tom Spencer’s name, had been sold last November. All right, what next? Kate had mentioned that before her parents died, she’d lived with them on Weber Court in Grosse Pointe. If she went back to that area, she’d probably contacted some of her old friends and neighbors. Aaron went to get the street directory.
Much to his surprise, in nearly two hours of phoning, he’d come up empty-handed. He sat scowling at his notes. Hard to believe that Kate had contacted not a single person in her old neighborhood. One or two had been chatty, but most of the people he’d talked with had been guarded. Undoubtedly a close-knit community.
Aaron was staring off into space, trying to think of the next place to try, when he remembered the cousin Kate had mentioned, the one who was also a close friend. Her name was Peggy. No, Paula. That didn’t sound right. Oh yes, Pam. Pam Spencer. Reaching for the phone book, he hoped that Pam hadn’t married and changed her name.
There were quite a few Spencers in Grosse Pointe, but no Pam or Pamela. However, there was a P. Spencer listed. Quickly, he dialed the number. After two rings, the answering machine picked up, and a woman’s voice came on.
“Hi. You’ve reached Pam Spencer. Can’t talk with you right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.”
Aaron left a brief message, stating that he was a friend of Kate Spencer’s, which was sort of true, and he needed to get in touch with her about an important matter. He recited both his work and home phone numbers and hung up. Now all he had to do was wait. And worry.
Aaron was exasperated. Two days and half a dozen messages later, he still hadn’t had a call back from Pam Spencer. Was she out of town? Had Kate told her not to call him? Was she as nasty as her father? He was at his wit’s end when he remembered that Pam worked in a bookstore in Grosse Pointe. But which one?
Again, he perused the phone book, the Yellow Pages this time. He read all the listings twice and settled on one: the Book Tree on Kercheval. Yes, that sounded right, although he’d heard the name only once. Growing desperate, he called that number.
The young man who answered told him that Pam wasn’t there and he wasn’t sure when she’d be back. Aaron drew in a frustrated breath. “Does she still work there?”
“Work here?” the man asked, oddly hesitant. “I guess so.”
Annoyed beyond belief, Aaron hung up. Didn’t the jerk know who worked at his store? Calm down, he told himself, and think.
Maybe he should try another avenue. She probably had a doctor, an accountant, a lawyer…wait. A lawyer. He’d referred Kate to his own attorney, Peter Jeffries, regarding looking into her parents’ estate. Reaching for the phone, he hoped to hell she’d contacted Peter.
“I don’t feel I can help you much, Aaron,” Peter said in answer to his question. “Yes, Kate’s my client. No, I can’t discuss her case, not even with you.”
Aaron’s impatience came through. “I’m not asking you to divulge some legal confidence, Peter. I just want to know where to find her. We have some unfinished business.”
Peter’s voice was cautious. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
His jaw clenched. He hated discussing his personal life with his business attorney, but it appeared he had little choice. “Damn it, I love her. I need to tell her, to bring her back to us.”
The lawyer was still hesitant. “If that’s the case, why did she leave St. Clair so suddenly?”
“A lot of reasons. Look, Peter, this isn’t a breach of client-attorney privilege. I just want to talk with Kate.”
“I’ll tell her to call you.”
Aaron wished he could take the time to count to ten. “Not on the phone. This isn’t something I can say on the phone.” And he wasn’t entirely sure Kate would call him after talking with Peter.
Peter was silent for a long minute. He felt protective of most of his clients, but particularly Kate Spencer. To be cheated and betrayed by a relative was, in his book, truly a cardinal sin. Kate was vulnerable, and he didn’t want anything more to go wrong in her life. However, he’d known Aaron and his father for years and knew they were trustworthy. “All right. You can find her at the Book Tree on Kercheval. But be careful, Aaron. She’s already been hurt far too much by too many people.”
“I know that. I won’t hurt her, I promise.” Aaron hung up and raced for his keys.
A flower box outside the Book Tree had tiny crocus plants pushing through the dark soil. Aaron wondered if Kate with her love of growing things had put them there. The window display consisted of a large stuffed pink rabbit surrounded by little yellow chicks and
baby ducks mingling with dozens of children’s books artfully arranged within an area enclosed by a white picket fence. Around the perimeter were potted plants—African violets, tulips, daffodils. He’d forgotten that Easter was coming. Did Kate’s job consist of decorating the windows, too, for it seemed like something she’d put together?
He went inside, the tinkling bell overhead announcing his arrival. The store was crowded with people browsing and buying. A tall young man toward the back was up on a ladder getting down a book a redheaded woman was waiting for. Perhaps that had been the one he’d spoken with about Pam. A teenage girl was in the cooking section helping two matronly ladies. And two youngsters were seated in a carpeted area furnished with a child’s rocker, small bench and table with chairs, where an older woman was evidently conducting children’s story time. The store had a homey feel to it, an inviting atmosphere, a warmth lacking in some of the chain stores. He could almost feel Kate’s fine touch everywhere.
In another moment, his gaze settled on the person undoubtedly responsible for this bookstore’s success. She was standing behind the counter at the register ringing up sales for a grandmotherly type. Now that he’d finally located her, Aaron stood off to the side, watching.
Kate was even lovelier than he remembered nightly in his restless dreams. Her hair had feathery bangs that brushed her forehead, the back longer, falling past her shoulders. She was wearing navy, the dark color making her skin appear a pale gold by contrast. She finished the sale and handed the package to the customer, smiling and chatting for a moment before turning to the young man next in line, who was buying reference books.
He decided to wait, to let her notice him. Several minutes later, her eyes making a swing of the room, she did and she drew in a sharp breath. The smile she’d flashed for the customer slid from her face, and she gripped the edge of the wood counter.
Kate waited for her heart to stop thudding so loudly. She’d thought she’d never lay eyes on Aaron Carver again, and yet there he was, as heartbreakingly handsome as ever. Why had he come, now when she’d just about gotten her life back on track? In a move that had infuriated her uncle, Pam had deeded the bookstore and the building over to Kate, leaving the small apartment and moving in with Eli. Then, to add to Tom Spencer’s problems, Kate had gone to see Peter Jeffries, who’d filed a lawsuit on her behalf against the uncle who’d tried to steal her inheritance.
