Another thunderclap was heard outside, this time accompanied by a lightning bolt hitting a tree visible through one of the hallway windows.
“Gary, please don't threaten my goddess, I'm in enough trouble as it is.” Angel Eyes said, wincing, before glancing back over at Mandy. “Are you still willing to take that risk knowing the potential price you might be asked to play?”
“Yes,” Mandy said without hesitation. “I am.”
A pained expression passed across Angel Eyes's visage. For a brief second, I actually thought he cared about my wife. Then I remembered he'd only known her for the space of a few days and rolled my eyes. What a drama queen.
“Very well. I will work the magic,” Angel Eyes said, stepping behind Mandy and muttering something in Ancient Greek. I could feel a surge of power in the air that wasn't easy to put into words, like someone was rapidly changing the room's temperature up and down.
“Does anyone else have any objections?” Mandy asked, completely ignoring Angel Eyes's spell-work.
None of us raised our hand. We didn't have any further time to dawdle. Mostly because I'd taken compassion on a bunch of spooks. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. No good deed goes unpunished, it's an immutable law of the universe.
“Okay, then, good. Time to move on,” Mandy said, waiting only a few seconds for Angel Eyes to finish chanting before starting to walk off. Amanda's Mother, probably realizing she was supposed to be leading us, floated over in front of her and started heading down one of the mansion halls. Amanda quickly followed her.
“Mandy, such a Type-A personality, she could even order around the dead,” I muttered, hoisting up my scythe over one shoulder.
“I still don't know why we're risking our lives for the brain-dead masses.” Cindy sounded better. “They’d hang the lot of us if they could. I mean, you leave a pair of scissors in someone’s torso during surgery and you’re out for life. What sort of world is that?”
Well, that explained what had happened to her medical career.
“Try and think of it less as us saving the world than us saving ourselves, which coincidentally saves everybody else.” I started walking after my wife, Diabloman and Angel Eyes following me.
“Well that makes sense,” Cindy said, running to catch up.
The interior of Amanda's house got no less creepy the further we got in. It was pretty much the ultimate embodiment of spooky interior design. There were cobwebs, dusty bookshelves, oil paintings with moving eyes, and even the occasional suit of armor.
Amanda herself was pretty silent, mostly just telling where her mother was moving so we knew where to go. It would be easy to get lost in her home and I wasn't about to waste any more time doubling back to find our way.
I wanted to ask what she and her mother talked about, none of my business or not. Amanda was too old to be called a little girl, especially after blowing the head off that robot, but I still felt pretty protective of her. Maybe it was because she did remind me of Mandy as a younger woman, the kind of person I'd imagine our daughter being like.
Daughter.
Yeah, that was a conversation I was looking forward to. We'd agreed not to have children. Yet, Death had shown me one. A daughter who was a little piece of Mandy and me, carrying our legacy into the future. You might think it's stupid I was thinking of my relationship with my wife when the world was ending but it was the primary thing on my mind. I didn't want to reopen a painful wound and the last time we'd discussed children, it had ended badly.
Really badly.
My staying in a hotel for a week, badly.
I wanted a child and Mandy didn’t.
It was that simple.
“You have hidden depths, Gary.”
“Forget everything you heard or I swear I will destroy you, even if it kills me.” I mean it too. I did not like Cloak listening in on what I'd been thinking. There were few things I considered private and my relationship with Mandy was one.
“As you wish.”
I considered grabbing the edges of my costume to try and strangle them. Instead, I just shook with rage.
“Gary, are you okay?” Amanda asked, looking over her shoulder at me.
“No, but don't worry about me. I'm tough like the noble turtle. The turtle is the most underappreciated of the animal kingdom, you know. They can become mutants and ninjas but do you see them topping anyone's favorite animal's list? No.”
Amanda looked bewildered. Kids today, no education.
“You realize he distracts people from questioning his actions by acting like a lunatic, right?” Angel Eyes said, behind me. “It's obvious.”
“Who’s acting?”
The ghost of Amanda's mother paused in mid-air, floating in front of a pair of wooden double doors. The doors had a bloody giant inverted pentagram drawn on them. Stretching forth her arm, she gestured to the doors and gave a silent nod.
“Yeah, in no way could we have found this on our own,” I said, looking between them. “Clearly, Amanda, your father knew how to cover up where his valuables were hidden.”
“Gary, I like you like a weird sociopathic big-brother but please don't ever mention my dad again.” Amanda looked between me and the pentagram. “He's dead to me. Deader than he already was.”
I wondered how that was going to work with his soul bonded to the cloak she was wearing. Given my relationship to Lancel, probably not well.
“Alright,” I said, deciding not to push it. “Your call.”
Amanda sighed, looking to the ghostly apparition of her mother. “My mother, says that the door is impenetrable to any physical force and all magic. Not even the Brotherhood of Infamy can get through it. Somehow, Dick Gleeson figured a way to get past the barrier after about month of trying various spells and explosives. He's been in there for about an hour. Mom doesn't know how he did it.”
Diabloman ran his hands over the door, a glowing aura wavering wherever he touched it. “Powerful magic. I can feel it from here.”
Angel Eyes rubbed his chin, taking in the strange phenomenon. “As long as the pentagram is unbroken, I don't think we're going to be able to penetrate it. Given a few hours, I might be able to break it.”
“We don't have a few hours,” Mandy said, hoisting up her guns as if in battle posture. “Especially if there's a window in there he can get out of.”
I hefted back my scythe. “Okay, guys, let the master go to work here. Let's see how this magic door
“Wait,” Mandy interjected. “Is it possible he found the room key?”
I paused in mid-swing, holding the scythe over my head with both hands ready to slash into the door. “Would that work?”
Amanda reached over and turned the door knob, there was a resounding click as the pentagram broke. “Huh.”
“Occam's razor,” Mandy said, gesturing with her automatics. “Let's go pay Mister Gleeson a visit.”
“Allow me,” I said, kicking open the door. “I love making a dramatic entrance.”
“No wait!” Mandy shouted, trying to stop me. “Don't!”
Unfortunately, it was too late. Kicking open the door, I got a glimpse of the room inside. It was a ballroom-sized chamber filled with more antiquities than I could count. There were statues, paintings, piles of jewelry, books, swords, armor, and chests overflowing with gold. The looked like cross between a warehouse for the Louvre’s castoffs and a pirate den. In the center of it, though, was the single most ugly thing I'd ever seen in my life.
The creature almost completely filled the room, dwarfing the objects around it like Godzilla dwarfed the little cardboard buildings he regularly knocked down in his original 70s monster movies. To call the creature a dragon would probably be technically accurate, but the thing utterly lacked the elegant majesty found in fantasy art and miniatures worldwide.
Instead, it was a disgusting legless monster which seemed half-shadow and half-molted serpent. It had only two appendages, tiny arms sticking out in front of it like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with leath
ery bat-like wing sticking out from its back.
The creature's face was the most horrible part of it. It was a terrible, almost-human-like visage, with squashed nostrils and giant yellow eyes that seemed to bore into your soul. It was completely black, blacker than my cloak, and seemed made of a substance not of this Earth.
The creature let forth a roar that was so loud, I stopped being able to hear it after a few seconds, temporarily deafened. The beast pulled back its neck and breathed forth a column of flame so brilliant that it was like pure white washing over me and my friends.
A word to the wise: dramatic entrances are stupid.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Where We do Battle with a Dragon No I’m not Kidding
Killed by a dragon.
I confess that wouldn't be in the top ten ways I'd expected to die. Maybe not even top forty. Those included being shot by the cops, eaten by a shoggoth, killed by ghosts, and chopped to pieces by a boat propeller. Strangely, my first worry was for Mandy and the others.
I would gladly die for my wife over and over again, but I was surprised at my concern for my henchmen. Cindy, Amanda, Diabloman, and even Angel Eyes occupied my final thoughts. The last one honestly disturbed me. I mean, I didn't even like the guy.
Surprisingly, though, all of us lived.
A glowing shield in the shape of a discus appeared in front of us at the last second. The glowing circle crackled like a bug-zapper, diverting the flame at the last second. The heat was still intense, raising the temperature to painful levels, like having a sunburn over my entire body, but it was better than the alternative. Even looking at it was painful, like staring into a floodlight.
“Aegis! Aegis! Aegis!” Angel Eyes shouted, repeating the word over and over again. Looking over my shoulder, I saw he'd crossed his pinkies and was gesturing at the flame with them. His eyes were closed and his face was locked into a mask of intense concentration.
“Okay, I admit that was impressive,” I said, not taking my eyes off the fireball being blown in our faces but speaking to Angel Eyes. “I'm going avoid making any more jokes about you for.... at least ten minutes. Maybe twenty if I'm in a good mood.”
“Gary!” Mandy shouted.
“Mister Karkofsky!” Amanda added.
“Brad!” Cindy threw in.
“Rocky!” I added. “I know, I know. I'm a horrible person who doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. Don't worry, I've got a plan. Plan X.”
“Plan X?” Cindy said.
“Plan X!” I proclaimed, lifting up my hands.
Tapping my scythe, it transformed back into a coin and I put it away. Clapping my hands, I focused on my ice powers. I was more a fire-boy than an ice-man and I'd neglected my cold abilities for the majority of my short career as a supervillain.
It was time to change that.
At first, it was like dropping water droplets on the surface of the sun but I tried harder. Thinking about the Arctic, freeze-rays, penguins, snowmen, ice cream, and all the cold things in the world. Surprisingly, the flame was forced back as a giant cloud of steam was created, spilling over the shield and into the hallway around us.
The dragon, surprised by my actions, ceased its assault. Pulling back, it looked at our group curiously. “What treachery is this?”
“Did he seriously say, what treachery is this?” I asked, staring at it.
“Yeah,” Cindy said, crossing her arms and nodding. “What a loser. What does he think this is, the Lord of the Rings?”
“The fiend is powerful,” Angel Eyes said, falling to one knee before me. Never had he looked more regal. “I have never faced such raw intensity in a fiery attack before. I suggest you pull forth every reserve of energy you have to smote this beast.”
Cindy immediately changed her tune. “Gary, I think the way they talk adds dignity and posh to our confrontation with the dragon! You should stop talking like you're straight out of high school.”
“Et tu, Cindy?” I said, raising an eyebrow before asking in mock astonishment, “How could you betray me for a pretty face?”
“He's a very pretty face,” Cindy pointed out.
“Let's kill Puff here and get the book,” Mandy said, lifting up her guns and firing, walking forward as she unleashed a horde of enchanted bullets onto the dragon. The creature reared back, trying to cover its face with its wings.
Bullets, even enchanted bullets, seemed to be little more than pinpricks to Dick Gleeson's dragon form but there were a lot of them being fired at him right now. Mandy moved methodically, targeting his wings first and then his eyes, forcing the dragon to cover its eyes with its tiny hands while retreating.
“When did my wife go insane?” I muttered, rushing after her.
“This is what happens when women enter combat,” Angel Eyes said. “It always goes to their heads.”
“Gee, and you wonder why you're alone,” Cindy said, following me.
“If you'll excuse me, I have to go save her from being killed.” I ran after my wife at top speed.
Grabbing Mandy by the arm, I managed to turn us both insubstantial just in time for the dragon's tail not to take our heads clean off. Ironically, the tail hit Amanda who grabbed it and pulled. The titanically strong debutante pulled the dragon down from where it was raising its neck to blow flame again, only to be punched in the face.
“Gary, get the book!” Mandy shouted, pulling away from me.
“Are you going to get yourself killed if I leave you alone?” I called back, horrified by how crazy she was acting. I mean, seriously, assaulting a dragon? By herself? This wasn't like her. My wife was normally one of the most settled individuals in the world. Yet, here she was, acting like she was the Terminatrix.
“Let me worry about that!” Mandy screamed, causing me to back away. Lifting up her guns again, she once more began assaulting the dragon. Angel Eyes's spell apparently gave her infinite ammo since she had shot well over a hundred rounds into him with nary a microsecond between pulling the trigger.
“Fine, I will,” I said, realizing talking to her was useless. “Everybody, double time! We've got a dragon to slay, as a team.”
Diabloman, grabbed a marble statue of Pallas Athena and hurled it at the dragon. The massive stone thing probably weighed more than my car, but Diabloman somehow managed to throw it like a baseball, smashing it across the dragon's head. Angel Eyes conjured a Spartan spear, helmet, and loincloth which somehow replaced his ruined business suit before charging. As for Cindy? Well, Cindy hid behind a pile of coins, but she was reaching into her picnic basket, so maybe she wasn’t going to be completely useless here.
The dragon once more breathed out fire at us, but it was weaker this time. Apparently, he'd spent the majority of his load. Reaching out with my hands, I once more managed to drive it back with a current of ice from my hands. Either I was getting better at using my powers or I was seriously overdoing it, I wasn't sure which.
Still, it prevented the dragon from killing us at once.
“I believe your wife is lost in the euphoria of being a superheroine.”
“No kidding,” I said, wondering if I was as bad.
“She's not wrong, though. If you get the Book of Midnight then we can end this disaster here and now. The book has power of its own, enough for you to destroy every zombie in the city at once. Hell, enough power for you to summon and bind the Grim Reaper herself.”
“Not worth it if she gets herself killed.”
“To be a superhero is to risk your life to help others. To sacrifice yourself, if need be, for the greater good. She is no less in danger than if she held back. Attack is the wisest strategy for beating it.”
I still didn’t like it and suspected that was how she felt when I was out there fighting and almost getting myself killed.
Karma was a cruel mistress.
Surveying the piles of treasure gathered from all parts of the world, I spied a plain black metal book stand off to one side. On top of the book stand was a brown leather v
olume which looked decayed and wrinkly, as if its leather cover had putrefied over the years. It probably smelled worse than my sock drawer had during my college days.
Underneath the book stand, inscribed on the ground, was a red pentagram similar to the one which bound the door. I wasn't sure but I suspected it was keeping Dick from the book. Dudley impressed me with his foresight. Even if Dick had managed to figure out a common sense solution to getting into his treasure room, there was no guarantee he could find one to this problem.
Running at the circle, I stopped within inches of its edge. Pushing my fingers against the air around it, it felt like I was touching an invisible wall of stone. The surface was entirely smooth but completely solid, preventing me from being able to enter.
“It's a Circle of Thanatos. It prevents any living being, good or evil, from passing through the barrier. Even touching with a staff or object will utterly obliterate the owner. It's one of the most powerful defenses any necromancer can erect against intrusion.”
“Any living beings huh?” I asked, thinking on that.
“Yes, the ancient necromancers of Acheron would send zombies and other creatures of the undead to fetch the book. It is my suggestion we attempt to defuse the ritual by warping the runes one at a time. We must be extra careful less we accidentally detonate one of them, releasing the magic within.”
I picked up a piece of rock from one of the shattered statues and used it to knock the book off the pedestal, sending it onto the ground nearby. The book slid across the floor enough to move it slightly out of the protective circle. Reaching over, I picked the volume up into my arms. It was heavier than it looked.
“That shouldn't have worked,” Cloak said. “The late Mister Douglas must have altered the spell. Made it so that a common sense solution would work where magic wouldn't. The ancient Atlanteans couldn't have been so stupid as to leave a weakness that a ten-year-old boy could exploit.”
“When I'm Evil Overlord of the world, I'm going to have ten-year-old children proof all of my plans,” I said, proud of my solution. “It would have saved the Emperor's life in Return of the Jedi to have those big bottomless pits covered. Hell, how much trouble would Sauron have saved himself if he'd had Mount Doom fenced off?”
The Games of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 2) Page 19
