On Fire

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On Fire Page 10

by McKenna, Lindsay


  Khat finished the toast and wiped her fingers on the white linen napkin. “This might sound silly, but when I first met Bedir, I felt like he was the father I was always wanting, but never got. I know it’s not fair to compare my father to yours, but Bedir was so kind and gentle with me. From the moment he saw me, he just enfolded me beneath his wing like I was an orphaned animal that needed nurturing. He fed me his love.”

  “That’s my father,” Mike said drily. “He’s Sufi. That sect of the Muslim religion is the mystics, the visionaries and it draws people who have a lot of sympathy in their heart for others.”

  “Annie was filling me in on your dad one day at lunch when we were shopping. “ Khat lifted her chin, looking at Mike. “Now I understand more about you. Your compassion and kindness toward me. I guess, because you’re a SEAL, I expected a pretty hard, taciturn man, but the more I let my walls down to get to know the real you, I discovered a very different man from how you normally expect a SEAL to behave.”

  He heard the emotion in her husky tone. “I can put on the SEAL game face on when I have to,” Mike stressed. “With you, there was never a need, Khat. You weren’t the enemy. Yes, you were hiding behind some pretty damn thick walls, but over time you allowed yourself to begin to trust me.” He reached out, squeezing her hand. “I’ve got to tell you, there were times when I didn’t think I would reach you, angel. There were days, weeks, when I felt like I’d take one step forward with you and three back.”

  Khat gave him a pained look. “I was running a black op. I knew you didn’t know about it, and I sure wasn’t going to tell all. It was a need-to-know basis only.”

  “I got that,” Mike said, grinning a little. He liked the fire in her green eyes, the petulant look in her expression. Khat would always be a fighter for the underdogs of life. “I need to talk to you about something serious. Are you up for it?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why don’t we have our coffee in the living room? You come and sit with me?”

  Khat nodded, sliding off the bar stool. “I like sitting with you.”

  Mike picked up his coffee and guided her to the the couch. He sat down in one corner of it, placed his mug on the nearby lamp table. Khat sat against him, her coffee between her long fingers. “I’ve been thinking,” he told her a low voice, caressing the soft angora across her shoulder. “I want to know your opinion about me staying with or leaving the SEALs in a year. That’s when my enlistment is up. The officers already want me to sign up for another six years.” Mike looked down at her pensive features. “We’re going to be married, and I need to know how you feel about this.”

  Khat compressed her lips, holding his dark, searching gaze. “My selfish answer would be to ask you not to sign back up, Mike. But I know how you guys are married to the SEAL culture. It’s a family, too.”

  “I want you to be selfish about this,” he urged, sliding his hand across her silky hair.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Get out.”

  “ Ever since meeting you, Khat, knowing I loved you and I wanted to marry you, I’ve been giving it serious thought.” Mike leaned over and inhaled the almond fragrance in her hair. “I wanted to enjoy time and space with you. And since we both want children, I couldn’t see me being gone so much and still being a husband to you, or a father to our children. I also didn’t want you left to raise the children alone, either. Or constantly worry about me when I was deployed.”

  Khat closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them. Searching his gold-brown eyes, she whispered, “Are you sure about this, Mike?” She knew of other SEAL marriages that had broken up for reasons just like he’d mentioned. The wife was left running the house and taking care of the children on her own most of the time.

  “Very sure,” he murmured, kissing her wrinkled brow. “I’ve been a SEAL since I was eighteen. I’m twenty-nine now. I think I’ve served my country long enough.”

  “But, what about your SEAL friends? You guys are tighter than fleas on a dog.”

  His laughed and nodded. “My best friend, Gabe Griffin, married Baylee Ann Thorn a year ago. He left the SEALs to take care of her after she’d been injured on deployment to Afghanistan. I talked to him the other day by phone. I asked him if he ever missed the SEALs and he said no. Bay just had twins, a boy and girl, and he’s happy being a father to them and a husband to Bay. He’s found a new calling, one that is just as emotionally fulfilling to him as the SEALs had been. He says marriage trumps being a SEAL any day. I tend to agree with him.”

  Khat regarded him from beneath her lashes, her hands a little tighter around the mug of coffee. “So you think you can make the transition?”

  Mike stroked her cheek with his fingers. “I’d be crazy not too, angel. I have you. I don’t need anything else in my life to fulfill me except you.”

  *

  KHAT DELIGHTED IN feeding Mina, her black Arabian mare, in the paddock. Before they’d driven to Alpine, she’d cut up slices of apple to bring to the mare. The sun was shining brightly, the sky a deep blue, the storm having left to head east during the night. Bedir and Annie had invited them to stay the weekend at the Arabian horse facility in Alpine.

  Mina looked sleek and shiny, a far cry from her hardworking days in Afghanistan, Khat thought as she stood inside the huge green paddock with her. Plus the splint on her front leg had healed completely. Now, Khat rode her for miles on trails into the backcountry, both of them enjoying the outing. Mike was standing on the other side of Mina, moving his fingers through her long, thick black mane. In a pipe arena to the right of Khat, Annie was riding her gray Arabian gelding that she was training in Level 2 dressage.

  “It’s so nice to see Mina happy,” Khat whispered, running her fingers over her mare’s dished face after eagerly finishing the apples.

  Mike leaned his arms across the mare’s short, wide back, studying Khat as she rubbed Mina’s small ears. “You’re happy, too.” He knew that by getting her into this idyllic mountain setting, Khat would thrive. She was not a city dweller.

  “Very,” she said, smiling over at him. “Have you decided what you’re going to do after you get out of the Navy?”

  He moved his hand along Mina’s sleek wither, following the slope of her shoulder. “Yes. I think you know my father has funded six different charities?”

  “Annie said something about them, but I didn’t know how many were involved.”

  Mike nodded and said, “My father is very rich, Khat, and he believes in giving back to the poor. He has a huge charity. He works with Khalid and Emma Shaheen over in Afghanistan, for example.”

  “That one I knew about,” she offered. Mike appeared incredibly relaxed leaning against Mina, dressed in a pair of dark brown chinos and a cream-colored fishhook cable sweater. Her body responded to the lazy look in his eyes, the arousal she saw deep within them. The man could simply look at her, and she was wanting him in her bed.

  “My father has been asking me to manage all of the charities. He’s been doing it, but he doesn’t have the time anymore. I’ve got a degree in business, so I feel I can handle it.”

  Surprised, she said, “You do?”

  “What? Just because I’m an enlisted SEAL I can’t have some education?” Mike teased. Her saw the surprise in her eyes. And then she smiled.

  “I know so little about you.”

  “We’re going to have the next thirty days to do some serious dirt diving,” he warned her. Khat had been given thirty day’s leave when he’d arrived home. He had sixty days.

  “Dirt diving? A SEAL term, no doubt.”

  “Uh huh,” he murmured. “It means digging down to the foundation of something, learning everything about it.” Mike reached over as she lifted her hand to his. “For the next month you’re going to be deluged with everything about me from the time I was born squalling my head off when I came out of my mother, to today.” Mike’s voice lowered, losing its teasing quality. “I want the time to get to know all of you, Khat. Every
sweet, beautiful inch of you, too.”

  She moved to Mina, leaning against her mare, her hands sliding around Mike’s shoulders, the horse between them. “Your mother has been showing me all the photo albums of you growing up.” Khat leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss. “My mom has photo albums of me.”

  “Maybe we should invite Glenna to stay a weekend, bring them down with her from San Francisco and I can look at them with you.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Hey, you two beautiful people who are in love,” Bedir called from the pipe fence surrounding the paddock where they stood.

  Khat turned, seeing Bedir in his jeans and long-sleeved red shirt, a pair of leather gloves in his hands. Although he was a busy surgeon, Bedir came out here on weekends to clean out stalls and work with his manager and his wife, who ran the facility. He pushed his dark glasses up on his head, beaming at them.

  “I think you got the right two people,” Khat called back, matching Bedir’s kind smile.

  Mike ambled around Mina and slid his arm around Khat’s shoulder, walking with her over to where his father stood. “Taking a break, Dad?”

  “Yes,” Bedir said, waving his gloves for a moment. He looked at Khat. “You know your mare is two months pregnant? She is now carrying Falcon’s foal inside her. In another nine months she will give you a beautiful baby.”

  “I know,” Khat said wistfully, “I can hardly wait.” She loved to be around Bedir. He was like sunlight to her, as Mike was. With the two men standing near one another, Khat could see the strong resemblance.

  “It’s near lunchtime,” Bedir reminded them. “And our housekeeper is laying out dates from Saudi Arabia. My cousin just sent me five pounds of them,” he groaned and touched his flat stomach. “So, we must add them as some kind of dessert and eat them while they are fresh.”

  “I love dates,” Khat sighed. “We’ll take some home with us, too?”

  Bedir brightened. “Do! And my second cousin has sent me ten pounds of shelled pistachios. I think she thinks I’m underweight or something.” He pointed to his lean midsection, grinning.

  “We’ll take some of those, too,” Mike said quickly.

  “Excellent! Come, let’s have some good Arabic coffee. Annie will be finishing up shortly, and we’ll have lunch together.”

  Bedir changed his clothes before meeting them for coffee in the cathedral-roofed home. Khat sat with Mike on the dark brown velour couch in the huge, airy room. Sunlight was streaming though the massive windows. The maid had laid out a platter of dates, small cups of thick, sweet Arabic coffee and a bowl of pistachio nuts.

  “So,” Bedir said, rubbing his hands together, “tell me the news.” He sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs on the opposite side of the glass-and-manzanita-wood coffee table between them.

  Bedir’s eyes sparkled, and Khat glanced at Mike. “You tell him?”

  Mike sipped the coffee and said, “I’ll be leaving the Navy in a year, Dad. I know that’s going to make you and Mom, not to mention Khat, happy.”

  “You’ve made a wise choice, son,” Bedir said, picking up a date. “Your mother will probably shriek and do a little happy dance around here when she finds out.” He smiled, gesturing to the large gold-and-red cedar floor that flowed into the living room from the dining room and kitchen. He stared at his son. “And will you agree to run all our charities? You’re well suited it for it.”

  Mike nodded, “Yes, I’m okay with doing that, Dad.”

  “It does mean some travel,” Bedir warned Khat. “But save for the Afghan charity, the other five places Mike must visit from time to time are safe.”

  “I like that five out of the six are safe,” Khat agreed.

  Bedir sipped his coffee, appreciation on his bearded face. “There is nothing like good, thick, strong Saudi coffee.” And then he said to Khat, “I’m donating three million dollars a year to Khalid and Emma Shaheen’s charity in Afghanistan. I’ve specifically requested of them that they now include the Shinwari villages along the Pakistan border in their educational initiatives.” He gave her a kind look. “That is one of our wedding gifts to you, Khatereh.”

  Khat nodded, emotion filling her. “That’s wonderful. Thank you…” She thought of her Aunt Leeda in one of those villages. How much an infusion of help from the charity would lift their village out of abject poverty. Education was the only stepping stone out of that kind of life, as her father had realized. Now more children would be given the same opportunity, thanks to Bedir’s charity.

  Annie walked in, pulling off her riding gloves. “Hey, are you saving some for me?” she called over to Bedir with a smile.

  “My darling wife, we await your radiant presence,” Bedir said, giving her a return smile.

  “Okay,” she said, taking off her riding helmet, “give me ten to start trying to look radiant.”

  Bedir chuckled, tapping the watch on his wrist. “Ten minutes. She’s never late.”

  “It’s all that nonstop energy she has,” Mike chuckled.

  “Has Annie always been like that?” Khat wondered, amazed at the woman’s indefatigable nature.

  Bedir nodded. “From the day I met her in Riyadh, she had wings of a hunting falcon, not feet of a mere human.” He chuckled indulgently, eating and savoring another date.

  Khat sat with Mike, feeling the warm family feeling within the huge room. She couldn’t help but compare it to her own family, which in some ways, wasn’t fair. In other ways, Khat wished she’d been able to grow up in this expansive, easygoing family environment instead of her own. The flip side was she was able to recognize the importance of Mike’s tight-knit family. The thought of their children having Bedir and Annie as their grandparents made her euphoric. Her own mother would dote on their children with equal love, as well. They would be surrounded by love and many cultures, deriving the best from all of them. It was only her angry, abusive father who wouldn’t be allowed near his grandchildren. Maybe, she hoped, in time, Jaleel would calm down, become less aggressive and angry. A more loving father? Even more, Khat wished with all her heart, her father would love her once more and take her back as his daughter. Pain drifted through her heart because Khat wasn’t sure it would ever happen. Stubbornly, she held out hope.

  Annie appeared exactly ten minutes later, dressed in a pair of dark green velour slacks and a feminine ruffled blouse of white silk. She had put her hair up on top of her head with two green plastic combs. Sitting down next to her husband, she looked over at her son. “Well, Mike? Are you going to stay or leave the SEALs?”

  Mike told her and Annie gave him an utter look of relief, her hand pressed against her heart. And then Bedir patted her shoulder, gazing at her tenderly. Mike understood how hard it was on the family and parents of a SEAL. They lived in the threatening, dark unknown. Except they all knew their son, husband or brother, was going into harm’s way—that was the nature of SEAL activity and focus. They were hunters.

  Annie picked up her small cup of coffee and sipped it with appreciation. “This is such good news, sweetheart.”

  Bedir kept his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Best of all, Mike is going to take over the charities for me, my darling.”

  “Even better,” Annie mused, more relief in her voice. Her gaze moved to Khat. “Are you okay with all these major life decisions Mike had just made?”

  “Yes,” Khat said, her hand resting on Mike’s hard thigh, his hand wrapped around hers. “I’m ready to trade in my previous life for this one with him. And whatever makes him happy is all right with me.”

  “I’m getting to be called the old man in the platoon, anyway,” Mike grumped, smiling a little. “I’ll be thirty on December twenty-eighth. My body isn’t young anymore and I worry about being able to keep up with the younger SEALs on our team.”

  Khat understood what Mike was saying. She wasn’t sure his parents did. Nor did she think they understood the rigors and demands on their son as a SEAL. His body had paid for his years of being in the bl
ack ops trade. Annie would probably cry her eyes out if she saw all the scars on Mike’s body. And he was the norm, no different from other SEALs in his platoon. It extracted a heavy toll on every man. Even now, Khat knew Mike’s knees were giving him problems. Years of packing sixty to ninety pounds of gear on his back over many days on a brutal mission had torn him down. All of this would later yield out in his forties, Khat figured. She’d seen older SEAL chiefs and how they limped or moved stiffly.

  She was more than relieved that Mike was getting out now. He could now channel all that need for physical activity into playing with their children. A more benign form of exercise. Smiling to herself, Khat was content to listen to Mike, Annie and Bedir talk animatedly with one another.

  Later, the maid called them to lunch. They sat in a sunny alcove at a round table with four comfortable chairs. Tuna sandwiches with sweet pickles and chips greeted them. Khat drank hot Darjeeling tea, as did the rest of the family.

  “Mike? Have you and Khat thought about a wedding date yet?”Annie wondered.

  Mike glanced at Khat. “Want to tell them?”

  “Yes.” Khat looked at the couple. “We thought February fourteenth, Valentine’s Day, would work for us. We had to look at Mike’s schedule, and he’s cleared it with the senior master chief of his platoon that he can get ten days off at that time.”

  “Plus,” Mike said, “my whole platoon wants to come and that’s the best time for most of them to be able to make it.” He gave his mother a hopeful look. “Do you think we can put a wedding together in two and a half months?”

  Annie blotted her lips. “That’s cutting it tight, but hey, we’ll make it work.”

  “I’d best call the prince after lunch,” Bedir said. “And I’ll have to inform my aunts and uncles.” He grinned. “There will be at least one hundred of your relatives attending, Mike.”

 

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