by Rosie Scott
“So he does think we're dead,” Koby murmured.
The man frowned. “Wait—what? You? You were on that cog?”
“A couple of us were,” Koby replied, motioning toward me. The pirate's eyes ran over me with distant familiarity; perhaps he remembered seeing me fight as a lizard-kin against Cale in battle.
“So what are you doing here?” the pirate asked.
Koby huffed. “Isn't it obvious? We came to kill Cale and free your hostages.”
“Good luck killing Cale,” the human spat sarcastically. “He's got nearly every ship on the sea backing him up. It'll be such a show to see him destroy you guys for good—”
“You won't be seeing it at all,” Koby retorted, jerking the blade across the pirate's throat. Sudden shock pierced the man's eyes as blood drained from the gouge like a red waterfall. He slid down the wooden door to the platform below, dying as nothing more than a leaking lump.
“I hope none of you still needed to speak to him,” Koby jested before a short laugh. Despite his humor, his black eyes were tired and troubled when they met mine. “Looks like this adventure is far from over.”
Sixteen
The chatter of morning wildlife was a background song I paid little attention to, instead giving my full attention to my thoughts. The shack ceiling was in my view, plumes of ferris smoke rising and gathering in its crevasses and corners as I smoked. Beside me, Hilly's big green eyes finally opened. When she noticed I was awake, she smiled.
“Mornin', Captain Handsome,” she greeted, before yawning so widely she looked as cute as a baby animal. I couldn't help but smile with endearment.
“Morning, beautiful. Thank you for taking the initiative last night.” Hilly had badly wanted sex from me the night before, but the battle left me aching so fiercely that my body refused to meet the demands of my libido. Undeterred, Hilly had hopped right on top of me to do all the work so I didn't have to. The resulting lovemaking was so loud and wild that Hassan pounded on the door to yell at us in good fun.
Hilly grinned and ran a stubby finger over my bicep, admiring the curve of the muscle. “It ain't no biggie. How are ya feelin' this mornin'?”
“Good,” I replied, frowning because the answer surprised even me. “Better than I should. I'm still aching all over, but somehow my good mood makes that...irrelevant.”
“A lil' spelunkin' in Hilly's gold mine does wonders.”
I laughed so abruptly at her joke that I coughed around my cigarette. “You're making me nostalgic for it, love.”
“We can go again,” Hilly suggested, a spark in her eyes.
“All right. Let me finish my cigarette.”
Hilly watched me for a moment. “I got a big head, but even I know it wasn't just the sex. Whatever has yer mood up, ya should focus on repeatin' it.”
“Murder and mayhem, love.”
“Aye? Well, fantastic! We got lots more o' that comin' up!” After I chuckled, she asked, “Yer serious?”
“Absolutely. How much do you know about my past in the underground?”
Hilly sobered. “Ah...I've heard a few things from the crew. Here and there. I know ya have yer moody days because of how they treated ya.”
“Koby and I were mates. Sex slaves. Raped daily for decades.” I blinked rapidly to keep the memories from sticking. “I've struggled with how to deal and move on. No matter how hard I try, reminders tug me back. Yesterday during the battle, I imagined my first foe was one of my rapists. I lost control. I'm missing some memories from killing her much like what happened in the fight with the sirens. But afterward, I felt...” I trailed off, searching for a word to describe it. “I don't know. So many things. Liberated. Empowered. Unchained. Like I somehow turned the rage that plagues me into a form of expression and release.”
“Good heavens, I don't even know where to start with all that,” Hilly rambled with sympathy. “I wish ya had confided in me about all this sooner.”
“Why would timing make a difference?”
“Such tragedies deserve acknowledgment,” Hilly replied, her accent butchering the last word. “In my ignorance I feel complicit. Like maybe I did or could'a done somethin' to hurt ya during any of the times we've been together.”
“You've done nothing wrong. I have freedom now; if I'm uncomfortable, I say it.”
Hilly exhaled roughly with upset. “Well, I'm sorry. Words ain't enough, but they're all I have. I can't imagine takin' sex from somebody. Ain't attraction the point? Are all Alderi women so hideous they can't catch a cock without takin' it by force?”
I raised my eyebrows at Hilly's ramble, my lips raising in an amused smile from her wording. “I don't think that's how that works, love.”
“Forgive me.” Hilly nestled up to my arm and met my gaze. “It just makes me angry, is all.”
“Evidently.”
“The woman yer talkin' about. From yesterday. She was the first shapeshifter ya killed, aye?”
“Aye,” I replied with a smirk.
“I saw yer rage, seeing as these lil' stubby legs ain't equipped for speed and I hadn't yet reached the fight. It's always intimidatin' seein' ya like that, but knowin' the context gives it sense. Seems to me yer rages are productive if ya feel better afterwards. Ya may be in pain, but ya ain't got that tortured look in yer eyes. Healin' takes time, ya know? There'll be ups and downs but as long as we keep movin' forward, that's all we can do.”
“That was quite the endearing speech, love.” With a smirk, I added, “Would've meant more if I could understand a damn thing you said.”
Hilly snorted with laughter and wiggled out of her bedroll. She promptly straddled me and connected us, all the while staring straight in my eyes. Finding her sensual adventurousness enticing, I shivered with desire.
“Yer a beautiful man, Captain,” she murmured, moving over me slowly as I smoked. “Full of mystery and temper and danger. Try to heal, but don't ever strive for perfection. It'd make ya damn near boring.”
I chuckled roughly, removing my cigarette and leaning upward so I could trail my tongue from her jawline to her ear. “All right,” I murmured, slipping her earlobe between my lips to suckle on it. “I won't.”
A cascade of pleasurable shivers seized Hilly's stocky body before she gently pushed me back. “Don't distract me,” she scolded.
I laid back, grinned, and took another drag of my cigarette. “You're the one who distracted me, love. I kindly requested to finish my cigarette before we got ourselves into this predicament.”
Hilly chuckled. “Then finish it,” she teased. “I ain't waitin' up.”
By the time Hilly and I wandered out of the shack and into the late morning sunlight, everyone else already waited for us. Early risers had picked over the battlefield; weapons were missing from puddles of curdled blood, ferris plants were trampled and broken, and the paddy waters were muddied. All the bodies of pirates and allies alike were in a pile just out of smelling range from the shacks. Some of them were missing armor pieces or jewelry. Vallen and Koby stood next to each other and stared at the piles, both deep in thought with their arms crossed over their chests.
“Something wrong?” I questioned, coming to a stop nearby and shoving my hands in my trouser pockets.
“A lot is wrong,” Koby replied, “but there aren't enough hours in the day to take care of it.”
“That bastard didn't lie,” Vallen said, his eyes on the bodies but his stare blank. “Many of these people were natives. Mercenaries from Silvi. So desperate for work they blindly followed Cale here just to die at the hands of their own people.”
I sensed his turmoil. “Do you feel our attack was unjustified?”
“Hell no,” Vallen blurted, meeting my gaze with surprise. “Our attack isn't what troubles me. The idea that Silvi mercenaries came here and participated in this is what depresses me. They knew what they were doing. Even though they weren't a part of the raid, they arrived on these shores after it to find a bunch of pirates had stolen our resources and enslaved o
ur people. And none of them stopped it.” He grimaced before spitting on the ground in distaste.
“They'll be back,” Koby murmured. “He said Cale left for Silvi at the same time he sent his men and ship west to Llyr. That's...what, two moons worth of travel by sea?”
“And they both left soon after the new year,” Vallen added. “Within the moon, we'll be hitting another new year. When that ship returns it'll bring supplies and men.”
“We should stay here,” I said. “Prepare our defenses.”
“Us, maybe,” Vallen agreed. “But you? You have a crew to feed. Supplies and business contracts rotting in Killick. You can't afford to stay here.”
“I'd let them rot if you needed us here,” I retorted, my insistence on supporting him coming out as irritation. Gratefully, Vallen understood this; his dark eyes warmed when he spoke to me next.
“I'm thankful for your loyalty and support, Calder, but Koby and I have already talked it through. We'll stay here and try to clean up this mess while your crew gets some actual work done.”
I dragged my gaze over to Koby's. “Making decisions without me now?”
Koby nodded toward the shacks. “You were preoccupied. Regardless, we can't afford to take more time here, Cal. We're already behind. Why did we spend so much time in Killick setting up partnerships and trading routes if we're not going to use them?”
I didn't answer. Instead, I turned to Vallen and stated, “You need more people.”
“I know,” he acknowledged, nodding to the south, where Jayce was amidst conversation with a beastman from Tenesea. I recognized him as an eagle-kin from the transformations a day before. “Jayce is sending messengers to Silvi and Tenesea asking for volunteers.”
“They won't be here in time,” I argued.
“We'll handle it.” Vallen pointed east. “Focus on your business, Calder, so I can focus on mine. Anyone in the wildlands can fight. But your crew is the only one bringing us supplies. You're needed out there more than you are here.”
I set my jaw and sighed. “Fine. We'll leave first thing tomorrow morning. But when we return to Silvi after our voyage, we'll take another trip out here to check in.”
“If it'll make you feel better,” Vallen agreed, a smile brightening his face. “Hell, after traveling with you guys for more than a year, I know I'm gonna miss you to the moon and back. Feels like we're brothers now.”
“If you fill our bellies with ale and always help us out of trouble,” Koby began with a smile, “you have to start expecting our loyalty. We're simple men.”
“Ale and free stuff,” I jested. “Word is we have a hell of a ship waiting for us in Silvi.”
Vallen chortled, though he pleaded, “Don't start expecting vessels like this, Calder. For gods' sake, take care of this one.”
“You think I try to sink my ships?” I retorted.
“Don't you?” Vallen shot back with a grin.
I separated from Vallen and Koby minutes later to find Kali. Considering the conversations we had about her in Silvi and our upcoming departure, she was the only one I wasn't certain would come with us. I heard Kali's hearty laughter coming from the deeper swamps, so I followed its audible bounce.
The wetlands had a peculiar beauty to them this morning. Despite being suppressed by layers of slow-moving hazy clouds, the sun still poked collections of its rays through the narrowest of breaks. Yellow light danced over shallow water, expanding and contracting with the movements of the malleable fog between it and its source. The light sometimes revealed previously unseen things in the swamp water: waving mosses, floating debris, even the silken glimmer of fish or amphibians.
The wide-bottomed swamp trees created an intimate environment, for their winding branches spread so far and wide like the forest itself wished to give its occupants a hug. Deep green hanging mosses draped over wooden arms, swaying softly to the movements of air or water if they could reach.
One tree's gigantic roots were exposed, twisting in and out of shallow water. Kali leaned against the tree with Hassan's binoculars, sweeping her view through the swamp. Hassan sat on a root nearby, dangling his boots so they skimmed the surface water. After taking a drag of his cigarette, Hassan reached over to offer it to Kali. When she didn't notice his outstretched hand, he slapped the back of it against her knee repeatedly and said, “Here, you idiot.”
“Oh,” Kali said with surprise, pulling away from the binoculars to take the cigarette. “Thanks, Captain Ass.”
Hassan snorted with laughter. “What kind of a nickname is that?”
Kali grinned around the cigarette as she continued scanning the swamp. “It's means you're a captain. Of the ass.”
“Of which ass?”
Kali pursed her lips in thought. “Mm...Neliah's?”
Hassan huffed. “I wish.”
Because I approached them from behind, I decided to finally speak up so I didn't startle them. “I have the feeling that nothing intelligent or productive is ever said by you two when you're together.”
Kali twisted her neck so she could see me. “That's 'cause it isn't, boss,” she agreed perkily.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Looking,” Kali promptly replied.
“For what?”
“I'll let you know when I find it.”
Hassan shook his head with humor and explained, “She's still working on stealing my binoculars, one borrow at a time.”
“Speaking of borrowing, I need to borrow you,” I said to Kali.
“Yeah? For what? Forgive me for being suspicious, but I heard Hilly's screams.”
Hassan huffed. “We all did. Good gods, you'd think she'd be tired of you by now.”
I smirked. “Jealous?”
“A little.”
“That's your own fault,” I reminded him. “You're the one who rejected her.”
“Excuse me for not wanting to share partners with friends,” Hassan retorted lightly.
“You're too normal to be in this crew,” Kali told him, handing him the binoculars and cigarette. “I'll be back.”
Kali followed me as I wandered through shallow waters to the northwest, just far enough to be out of earshot of Hassan and the others in the camp. Of course, considering my superior hearing, I likely traveled farther than necessary as a precaution. When Kali noticed our distance, she asked, “Am I in trouble, boss?”
“Should you be?”
“If I choose not to answer that, will you find it suspicious?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
I chuckled and stopped in a tiny clearing of mud that revealed itself after the surrounding water temporarily receded. I lit a new cigarette with a match. “Were you like this when you worked for other captains?”
My question was vague, but it didn't confuse Kali. “No. I couldn't be. So many of them take this work seriously.”
“You think I don't?”
“I know you do, but you act like you don't.” Kali shrugged and grinned. “There's a difference.”
“Do you love Jayce?” I asked bluntly.
Kali sobered and tilted her head. “What? Why?”
“You've been warned against being with her from multiple people, yet you are often inseparable. It's a valid question, no?”
Kali studied my expression. When she found curiosity rather than anger, she replied, “I don't know. I know I loved Zaina because I adored everything about her and we never wanted to be apart. When she died, I felt gutted and like I lost a piece of myself. I've never looked for love. It finds me. What I have with Jayce is different. Her energy matches mine. She's a never-ending source of fun and good times. Sometimes I need a break because she rarely takes things seriously. She's confessed love to me, but I haven't said it back yet. Things are headed in that direction, but I need time. It's just so different from what I had before.”
I took another drag, unsure of how to respond. I knew nothing of love, but right now it sounded so complicated it was a relief not to have to deal wi
th it.
Kali laughed awkwardly after a moment. “Apologies, boss. You didn't ask for a novel of an answer.”
“No, I quite enjoyed listening to your explanation of love. I don't know what it's like.”
“Sure you do,” Kali replied with surprise. “Maybe not romantic love, but there are eight types of love. Anyone who isn't blind can tell you experience at least four of them.”
Now, love sounded even more complex. I asked with a note of suspicion, “How can you tell if I can't?”
“Because I wasn't raised in a culture that repressed emotion,” Kali replied. “Read a book on Amora, boss. Her devout followers have studied love for centuries. It may sound boring, but they have good insights into the human—or elven—condition if you're into philosophy.”
“I hate reading.”
She chuckled. “Then have Koby read it to you. Gods know both of you could learn a lot from it.”
I exhaled a stream of smoke. “I asked you that question for a reason, you know.”
“Yeah? Then get to it.”
I huffed with amusement. “We're leaving tomorrow.”
“Why tell me this alone?”
“Because you're the only one who might not come with. I know Jayce asked you to stay with her.”
“Ah, it all comes full circle,” Kali mused with realization. “You won't get rid of me that easy, boss. We'll be back. Vallen spoils us so I know you and Koby will want to party with him every chance you get. I need to have time to miss Jayce, you know?”
“I don't know how you spend as much time with her as you do,” I admitted. “I like Jayce, but she tires me out.”
Kali laughed. “I can tell. You always smoke like a wildfire when she's around, and when she's hyper, your eyebrow starts twitching right here.” She reached over to tap a fingertip at the edge of my right eyebrow.
I chuckled. “I have my limits.” I thought twice about bringing up the second subject I wanted to. Kali seemed open to conversation so I decided to take the leap. “Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about?”
“You're the one who brought me out in the middle of nowhere like you planned to kill me,” she jested.
