“You asked him?”
“No.”
“So, you chickened out?”
“No.”
“I’m confused.”
“It’s complicated, and it’s none of your business.” She tightened her already-crossed arms.
“Are you going to sleep with me?”
She shifted her position and gawked at him. “What’s your deal, St. John?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is this how you operate—you just come out and ask a woman to sleep with you?”
“Usually.”
“And does it work?”
“Completely foolproof. At least it was.” He winked. “You don’t want to go and ruin my perfect record now, do you?”
“Let’s talk about you, for a change. Tell me more about your rules. For instance, why do you have them? What dark fears does the infamous Adam St. John possess that would force him to build a wall of rules to hide behind?”
He smiled at her, but she noticed it wasn’t his usual jovial expression. Eventually, he said, “Everyone has fears, and we all deal with them in the best ways we can. What about you? What fears keep you cowering behind a lowlife like Baldos?”
She sniffed and raised her chin. Justin was a jerk, a stinking, abusive jerk, but St. John didn’t get to throw insults when he himself was as big a jerk. “At least he doesn’t cheat people out of their property.”
“Excuse me?” St. John’s eyebrows almost reached his hairline. “Where do you get this crap about me?”
“I’ve heard talk.” Of course, she could have added, the talk was mostly done by Justin.
“Well, don’t believe everything you hear. Unlike someone you know, and I’m referring to your husband, I happen to have integrity.”
She snorted a chuckle. “That’s rich.”
“How so?”
“It’s simple: you have no problem stealing land; plus, you seem to think you’re Paul Bunyan and have the right to chop down every tree in town.”
“Ah, so we’re back to this. Yeah, you mentioned that the other day, about how I’m destroying Wexford. As for the land thing, you need an education in my business practices.” His expression turned devilish. “I’d be more than happy to educate you.”
She straightened her back and stared down her nose at him. “I could care less about how you do business. If people are too stupid to see a wolf in their midst, so be it, but the woods can’t defend themselves.”
He’d slowed the truck and turned onto the street that would take them to the school but now pulled over to the side of the road and shifted into park. He swung his body in her direction. “Are you finished? Because I want to make sure you’ve had your say.”
“Drop me off here. I can walk the rest of the way.”
“I’m sure you can but nope, not going to happen. You’ve had your turn, and now I get mine.”
She undid her seatbelt and reached for the door handle, but he hit the safety lock. She swung around and glared at him. “Now you’re going to hold me prisoner?”
“Until I’ve had my say, yes.”
“I mean it, St. John, let me out, or I’ll…”
“You’ll what?” He offered his signature grin.
The answer came to her suddenly, and she couldn’t help but grin back. “I’ll tell Dee.” She hadn’t been prepared for his enthusiastic laughter. So much for her secret weapon. “Fine, I’m giving you ten seconds to say what you want to say, and then if you don’t open this door, I’ll smash the window if I have to.”
“Deal. Now listen carefully.” The amusement his eyes had held evaporated. “You seem to be operating under the assumption that just because you don’t want something to happen it won’t. Wexford’s population is growing, and the people moving here want houses. If I don’t build them, someone else will. That’s just the hard, cold truth. At least when I’m involved, there are trees left standing.” He returned the shifter into drive. “Put your seatbelt back on,” he said and pulled onto the road.
During the short distance to the school, the air between them crackled with tension. St. John pulled into the parking lot and stopped before they reached the location where kids were disembarking the busses. He unlocked the door. “You’re free to go.”
She clenched her jaw and yanked the straps of her bag. She was determined to leave without saying a word, but unfortunately, her pride had other ideas. “That was a pretty speech, but the argument that if you don’t do something someone else will gets old pretty fast. A person with integrity would try and find a solution; a person without integrity offers excuses.” She remained with her hand on the door. Even though he was infuriating, she was still interested in what his response would be.
He let out a slow stream of air from his nose before he spoke. “You get to throw stones at me when you stop offering excuses for your own life.” He reached by her and gave the passenger door a shove. “Goodbye, Shannon.”
She climbed from the truck. “Thank you for the ride,” she said, not even interested in slamming the door. She hoped he was happy with the point he’d made. Yes, she did offer excuses.
But he was still a land-grabbing jerk.
Chapter 12
“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.”
Buddha
“How many days, Mama?” Chad leapt onto the bed, his bare feet sinking into the comforter before he started jumping in place.
Shannon held open a bath towel. “How many days for what? And come here, you wet, naked boy.”
“Tell me. Tell me. Tell me,” he said, bouncing higher after each phrase.
“You’re getting my bed all wet, and you’re going to end up through the ceiling. Come here.”
“Tell me. How many days?”
She swung the towel and missed him. “How many days for what? Until summer vacation?”
“No, silly Mama, how many till my birfday?”
Shannon reached for him, but Chad bounced off the bed and raced down the hallway and into his bedroom.
Not wanting to be left out, Jasper barked and followed.
“Come back here, my little wood sprite; I have to dry you,” Shannon called out as she ran behind the two of them. “Where are you?” she asked when she entered his room.
A tiny voice came from within the closet’s depths. “Find me, Mama.”
“Where could he be, Jasper? Did he return to his woodland home?”
Jasper shook his head and whined, pawing at the rug near the closet.
“Don’t worry, Jasper,” she whispered. “I know he’s in there.” Calling out, she said, “Chad, oh, Chad, where are you?” She wondered aloud, “I guess he’s gone. Maybe he’ll come to visit us again someday. Come on, Jasper, let’s go have some ice cream.”
Chad burst from the closet. “I want ice cream.”
Shannon swooped in, but he managed to escape again, his butt cheeks jiggling as he returned to the master bedroom.
“Tell me, Mama,” he said, climbing onto her mattress.
“Tell you what?”
“The many days till I’m six?”
“Oh, silly me, I thought you meant until school ended.” She inched his way. “Let’s see, I believe there are… Let me think. Tomorrow is Saturday, then comes… What day?”
“Sunday, Mama.”
“Oh, right, Sunday. And then there will be the last five days of school, which will bring us to Saturday again, so that makes…carry the four, add the seven… Wow, I don’t know. Let’s see if I can count it out.” She held up her hands and raised a finger for each day while Chad counted along.
Her fingers brushed against his legs as he skittered across the king-sized bed.
“Seven days, seven days, seven days,” he sang and held his hands over his penis as he jumped around.
“I give up.” Shannon sat on the edge of the bed and flopped next to his feet.
“Are you tired, Mama?”
She tucked onto her side and swung he
r arms around him. “Haha, you fell for my ploy, little sprite, and I’m going to eat your leggies.” She nibbled at the smooth, warm skin of his thighs.
He gave it a valiant try, but he couldn’t squirm away, mostly due to his bouts of laughter.
She kissed his legs and then lay facing the ceiling fan and rubbed her belly. “It’s a good thing you stopped me. I might have eaten your whole body. Yum.”
He crawled onto her and rested his head against her breasts. “Silly, Mama, you didn’t eat me. It was pretend.”
“Yes, munchkin, it was pretend.” She smoothed his damp hair. “Do you know what isn’t pretend?”
“Uh-uh.”
“My love for you. I love you to the moon and back.”
Keeping his face snuggled into the folds of her shirt, he said, “I love you to the moon and back a bazillion times.”
“Mine is more. Mine is a gazillion-bazillion times.”
Chad stared at her. “Mama, is Daddy taking me to tryouts tomorrow?”
It was a mother’s bane to learn about important school functions the night before they occurred, and this little announcement insisted she sit up and pay attention. She swung her legs off the bed. “Tryouts? What tryouts?”
“Can you make cupcakes? I said you would make cupcakes.”
“Munchkin, slow down. What are the tryouts for?”
“Baseball. Coach John said we haf to be there by seven.”
“Did I miss a flyer?” She couldn’t have; she checked his backpack every night and wouldn’t have missed a notice about baseball tryouts. “Go and get your backpack, please.”
Chad scampered from the bedroom and down the steps, and Shannon collected his pajamas from his bedroom and placed them on her bed.
“I got it.” Chad skipped back into the room, holding his backpack in the air.
“Okay, while I look for the notice you get in your PJs, got it?” She unzipped the main compartment and dumped the contents onto her bed. Nothing. No flyer in the front or back pockets, and no flyer in the side pockets either. Basically, there was no flyer. “Chad, when did they give you the paper?”
“What paper, Mama?” His head was buried under the twisted pajama top.
She went to him. When his face appeared in the opening, she repeated, “The flyer about tryouts?”
“What flies?”
“No, honey, nothing flies. The flyer?”
“What’s a flyer?”
“It’s a paper that announces things. Do you remember when you got it?”
“It flies and talks?”
“No, sweetie, please answer the question, do you know where you put the flyer, I mean paper?”
“Coach John said the computer has it.”
“The computer… The school’s website? Be a good boy and run downstairs and get Mama’s laptop, please.”
He went to fetch her computer while she tapped her cell phone only to hit cancel. Dee and Jeff were busy. Next in line, Peg.
“Hi, what’s up?” came Peg’s cheery greeting.
“Hey, do you know anything about baseball tryouts tomorrow.”
“Yeah, seven o’clock. Make sure you bring Chad’s glove and plenty of water. It’s going to be in the nineties again.”
“Peg, wait a second. Was a notice sent home?”
“Shan, it’s been posted on the school’s website for the past two weeks. You were supposed to sign him up. You did register him, right?”
“No. Now, what do I do? Do you have the coach’s phone number?”
“Yeah, you do too.”
“What? How—?”
“Adam’s the coach. By the way, I didn’t get to ask you when you came by to get Chad: how was the ride from Canobie?”
“It was… I didn’t know about the tryouts.”
“Relax, I have a feeling Adam will make an exception for you,” Peg offered. “I still can’t believe Dee sent him to get you, especially after she lectured you two about leaving each other alone. Did you have fun? Did he ask you out?”
“I’m married, remember?” Shannon said. Did asking her to sleep with him count as being asked out?
“No biggie, we’ll find you someone hot tomorrow night. I can’t wait to hit Manchester and whoop it up a bit. Life in Wexford is getting boring. Just so you know, I’m going to dress like a slut. Anyway, I’ve got to run. Byy-ee.”
Shannon filled her travel mug with coffee. The morning was a frantic rush to finish breakfast and get out the door and to the baseball field by seven o’clock. Any other morning, it would have been a simple task, but after a second night of fractured sleep, she was off her game. The night before last, there had been a dream of being with St. John which had given her a pleasant jolt, but last night’s dream had been X-rated, to the point where she’d finally decided to stay awake and blog.
She’d packed everything Chad would need: water, sunscreen, bug repellent. The container of sugar cookie bars was already in the car. She hadn’t had time to make cupcakes; that’s why her freezer in the basement was such a necessity, and she would make sure she kept it if—no, when—she divorced Justin.
The only three things missing were Chad, his baseball glove, and her backbone. How was she going to face St. John after the way she’d acted when he’d dropped her off at the school? Maybe he’d be too busy with the kids to even bother with her.
If only Justin would get home; he could take Chad, and she could stay at the house and cower. The way she’d spoken to St. John had been uncalled for, even if she disagreed with his business practices. She had about as much chance of saving Wexford’s remaining open space as she did at saving the rain forests. The best she could do was fix her own life and find a plot of land for her and Chad that was far away from bulldozers and property developers. They could let the rest of the world fend for itself.
It seemed like forever since a man had excited her as much as St. John did. Sure, men got her engine going but nothing like the way she felt when she was near the cocky developer. One night with him would most assuredly distract her from her daily woes, but she had a sneaking suspicion one night wouldn’t be enough. If he was as good in bed as she imagined, she’d want a whole string of nights. And mornings too.
“Mama, I can’t find my glove.”
Chad’s frantic shouting pulled her back to reality.
“Did you look under your bed?” she yelled out.
“No.”
She ran to the bottom of the staircase. “Then look, and if it’s not there, come down. We have to go.”
“But, Mama…”
“Forget your glove. We’ll figure something out when we get there; we’re going to be late.”
Chad ran down the steps with Jasper trotting behind, his leash dragging over the steps. “But, my glove.”
“I said we’ll deal with it when we get to the field, and Jasper stays here.” She herded Chad into the kitchen.
“But Coach John said I can bring him.”
“Fine, whatever. Go get into the car, please.”
“But my glove.”
The third whine about needing his glove was one whine too many. “Chad, I said forget your glove; now, go get in the car, or we’re staying home.”
His expression crushed her. It wasn’t like she’d never scolded him; she did when necessary, but this shouldn’t have been one of those times. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Lately, more and more, she was letting her frustrations with her own inept behavior leak out and touch him.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you, sweetie. We really must leave.”
“But Mama.”
“Chad, please stop, I’m begging you. We’ll figure things out at the park. I bet Aunt Dee will have one. Or Coach John. Please get in the car and take Jasper.”
“Is Daddy coming?”
“He might. He’s still sleeping because he had a headache.”
As easily as melted butter gliding over a hot pan, the lie slipped out. It wasn’t often he caught her in a lie. Actually, she didn’t think he eve
r had—until that moment. A sour taste filled her mouth. He didn’t have to say a word; the way he cocked his head to the side and stared at her with his brows narrowed, she instinctively knew she’d been caught. She’d gotten so good at deceiving herself she never stopped to think her son might see through her.
“Honey, Daddy—”
He stopped her and said, “It’s okay, Mama.” Pulling Jasper’s leash, he left her with the follow-up lie still in her mouth.
Time slowed to a crawl. She held both the cooler’s handle and her car keys in a rigid grip.
How many lies would it take before the trust of a child was completely eroded? Two? Ten? A hundred? And when that trust was gone, could it ever be rebuilt?
Chapter 13
“I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Shannon steered the car toward the back of the school parking lot, near where the baseball field was located. It had been a silent ride from the house—no singing, no chatter, nothing. She might as well have been alone. Even Jasper had sulked.
“Yay, we’re here. Baseball time.” She did her best to sound chipper, but from Chad’s silent response, she realized she’d failed miserably. She opened the rear door and tried again, this time belting out a tune. “Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the park…’ Honey, sing with me.”
Chad refused to look at her. “I don’t want to go,” he said from under a serious pout.
“Ah, sweetie, come on, we’ll have fun.” She pointed at the field and the multicolored sea of T-shirts. “Look, the kids have their shirts already. I wonder what color you’ll get.”
“No.” Chad kicked his legs and pushed her hand away when she reached for the buckle.
“Chad, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
She’d have to be brain dead to think he wasn’t still upset with her lie about Justin sleeping. What kid wouldn’t have been? It wasn’t every day you found out your mother was a lying sack of dog poo, on top of being a coward. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that Daddy wasn’t home. He had to go to work very early before you woke up.” And like a top-forty list of hits, the lies just kept on coming.
Breaking the Rules Page 8
