by Judy Jarvie
“No point.”
“You’re still bored out of your skull now you’ve sold the business. You need to move on and find that new direction you said you were finding.”
Nick flicked papers and resigned himself to giving up arguing and ignoring Amanda instead. She’d done too many cop dramas.
“I’ve air miles; I could book you from London City.”
Nick heard her pit a pat out of the room on her crutches and pull the door to as a final instruction.
“Ailsa,” he wrote via email before his fingers could let his brain stop them.
“If I said I’m coming up to Edinburgh next week to catch the rugby would you consider donning your country’s colours and braving Murrayfield? Fancy lunch, just a catch up? Meeting my son and taking a pasting from the Aussies is part of the deal. Your call? Nick.”
His finger lingered on the mouse.
Then he clicked and technology did its thing.
Nick could only wait and see.
Chapter Thirteen
Johnny and Sally were justifiably impressed with the pilot ‘Dine With The Past’ event because its success promised a sure-fire future gold-run. They had plans to roll it out for the international tourist market right throughout from Spring to close of the Edinburgh Festival.
“It’s gonna be a winner,” Johnny opined, rubbing his hands. And he was right. The Spiritualist Guide they’d struck up a deal with added extra pull to the event because he was a recognised name with a following. Guests had given glowing commendations of the restaurant and entertainment.
The end result was twenty satisfied customers, a successful programme and takers for a second event. Johnny was fired for further expansion.
“You’ve proved yourself, Ailsa, well done,” said Johnny. “We’ve return bookings, deposits already taken. Sally’s thrilled. I’m delighted.”
“Thanks,” Ailsa faltered sensing her timing was about to bomb. “I’ve news though,” they may be sitting in the afterglow of her success on Monday morning but her current decision pressed heavy on her heart. “I’m leaving.”
Johnny looked up from his mail and the smile faded. “What?”
She finger fanned her face. “You know I’ve always loved it here but I have to go. My career needs a kick start. I’ve been offered a part time college job teaching drama. Plus I’ve got backing for a drama club project in the evenings – my own business. Greg’s given me space at his climbing centre to run it.”
Johnny was visibly shocked. “How about a twenty per cent raise to stay?”
She wrinkled her nose. “We know that’s not the answer.”
“We’ve only just started making things happen.”
Ailsa flicked into her email and scanned Nick’s message. Her breath quickening in her chest, her heart jumping fast. The reason she had to start grasping life was he’d made her see it had to be done. She couldn’t hide forever and end up with regrets and nothing to show for her passions. If Greg could move on so could she.
Ailsa straightened her in-tray with finality. “I’ve needed to spread my wings since Mum died. It’s past time I took a leap of faith. Someone made me see that.”
Johnny nodded. “I’ll miss you. Loads. Don’t make me get tearful. You’re ruining my butch, fast moving business mogul reputation. Fancy a trip to the pub so I can lean on you more?”
Ailsa hugged her soon to be ex boss. “I’ve too much to sort out. Anyway I have a hunch Sally will keep you right. I’m leaving you in safe hands.”
She’d already given Sofa City her resignation letter. Having her own drama school for kids would be her all-time dream. The kind she’d never felt able to go for – before Nick.
Putting off living the life she wanted was only hurting her own prospects. The only way out was to believe she could do it. As Nick once said, if she wanted it bad enough, she had to grab it.
“You’ll be hard to replace,” said Johnny, still mumbling to himself like a small grumpy pensioner who’d been queue jumped by a man with huge tattoos.
“You need new talent. And there’s a girl working in the pub that’s studying drama and says she badly needs a chance. I reckon you could give her an interview if you go there for a pint?” Johnny perked up and gave her a smile over the computer tops.
She clicked on Nick’s email and hit reply –
Simply put she told him – “I’ve never liked rugby. I don’t understand the rules and probably never will. But then I’ve a knack for ignoring those as you well know. Looking forward to meeting Jake. Ailsa.”
***
Murrayfield Stadium, Scotland’s National Rugby home, was buzzing and crowds were milling, anticipation palpable.
Nick’s heart was beating a full military pageant in his chest. His nerves jigging from the thought of seeing her.
She could just walk up at any second and the way he felt she’d see the desire written all over his face. He’d lay awake nights thinking of precious moments with Ailsa beside him again.
Would she show? Would he find her in the crowd? Could they put their past mistakes behind them?
The words “just friends” hung heavy in every mental conversation he’d had with himself. They’d emailed and shared jokes. He sent her funny attachments like a snow globe with her picture taken from the Sofa City website. There were tiny icons of Lisa and Andy as pixies bashing each other over the head with hammers.
Right now he felt like he was thirteen again and back on a date.
As a text flashed on his mobile screen all his thirteen year old hormones screamed.
“Are you still by the clock? A”
Yes, he typed. But then he saw her and switched off the phone.
His body felt like his heart was doing triple speed and everything pulsed with adrenaline. He sported his Australian national colours. Jake did too – face paint flag, the works. When she smiled at him he grinned at Ailsa in her proudly-worn Scotland shirt. He could have whirled her in his arms. He would have, had they not ‘just been friends’.
The atmosphere was electric. The fans came in their thousands. Dressed for the occasion. Happy, singing; high on the vibe alone.
“Hey,” he kissed her cheek. “Meet Jake.”
Stark eyes like his father surveyed her.
“Do you like rugby?” asked Jake. “We’ll win. The Australians are the best, Dad says.”
Ailsa smiled. “Your Dad has taught you well. I also hear you’re a future star of the game.” Jake rewarded her with a proud nod. “Will you give me expert tips? I have hopes Scotland could pull through if we shout loud enough.”
Nick winked that Ailsa was making the right moves.
“Right,” said Nick mustering strength, “C’mon, let’s get our seats.”
They walked in amiable companionship into the electric stadium.
***
The match boasted a cool pre game performance by some Eighties Scottish one-hit wonder band she’d forgotten all about. Nick grinned at her and Ailsa’s heart swelled when she saw him lip synch along proving he knew the words.
When they sang Flower of Scotland, the whole stadium moved slowly in time and afterwards everyone applauded and the air was ripe for the game.
“My Dad says you’re on TV. Do you have pictures in the paper?” Jake asked.
Ailsa shrugged. “I’m not famous like your Mum. I encourage people to buy new sofas.”
“Must be cool to get paid for just sitting down.” Jake nodded eagerly.
Ailsa laughed. “Exactly. But I’m giving it up soon; I need a proper job.”
All she could think about was how great Nick looked and those amazing lips. She wanted a hug so badly and more if the opportunity arose. She figured that particular pleasure cruiser had sailed out of reach.
“I’m glad you came,” Nick said softly. The teams were running around in anticipation of the game starting and the crowd applauded. Ailsa shared that antsy feeling of needing to chase the thrill. Especially when Nick cupped her fingers gently in his. �
�I missed you,” he whispered.
Jake gave a reprimanding stare and his father tousled his dark head.
“Want coffee later? Sally will baby-sit.”
“I’m not a baby, Dad,” Jake added. “I’m so much better at X-box than Johnny.”
Ailsa laughed, feeling flushed elation. “Yes. If we get another try in.”
The first half had seen a Scottish try and a score of 18:31 for Australia. The Scots try allowed a rare chance to enjoy The Proclaimers blasting ‘500 Miles’ through the tannoy with the crowd hollering along.
Happily for both of them the second try happened. Good old Scotland.
***
Ailsa waited to meet Nick at the city centre CoffeeStar bar. The coffee was good, the leather seats comfy and it afforded a view of the castle from her seat by the window (a castle that had special memories of a special New Year). They did these amazing brownies things worth braving the wait for a seat for too.
He arrived after she did. She spied his approach down the street and her heart zoomed. “Just friends Ailsa,” she sighed. “No matter how good he looks.”
“Been waiting long?” He’d swapped the rugby shirt in favour of a pale lilac shirt that suited him too well and went brilliantly with a dark grey jacket.
“You look nice,” she noted.
He rested his arms on the back of her chair and nodded to the new outfit she wore – rust suede jacket, used look jeans, leather boots. Choker necklace with pale feathers for extra luck.
“You too.”
“I’d say you're hot but I’ll opt for friendship and careful,” he told her when he kissed her cheek.
He bought her a refill, got a coffee and slid beside her on the sofa. They shared a brownie which she tried not to get smeared on her teeth. Did Seduction experts ever do that?
“Made any more lists?” Nick asked but his eyes were on his coffee.
“Nope. Work’s busier than ever. How about you?”
“Jake’s social life is full on. You name it, he does it.”
She smiled her best ‘see my lip gloss shining in the light’ smile, “An all action male just like Dad.”
“Your emails help me through,” he answered and sipped coffee. “I’m thinking about a change of career direction which is keeping me busy.”
“Really?” She hadn’t expected that.
He shrugged, “I need a change. New horizons.”
Ailsa took in the castle on its spotlit perch; wished to send the clock back to New Year’s Eve just to savour the thrill. “You’ve had a tough time since we last saw each other. Amanda okay? Has it wrecked filming?”
“She has a leave of absence from her show. She’s set a wedding date. As soon as the crutches and cast are gone it’ll be the big Vegas number.”
Ailsa felt her heart bungee.
“And you’re okay?”
“You were right. You said I should give Jake space to grow and learn. You have a knack for knowing.”
Their gazes lingered. “I hate weddings but she’s roped me in. One rule. No Elvis suits.”
“I’m glad we can be friends,” Ailsa said firmly, trying to mean it.
How could a woman stay friends with a man like Nick? Women watched him. She saw them window shopping him as they passed. She wanted to shoo them off.
“Johnny still slave driving?” Nick leaned back in his comfy seat, his long arms right across the back of the sofa behind her head. Her skin prickled with a lick of heat.
“I’ve taken advice too. My kid’s drama club starts in two weeks. Got a green light from the bank and partnership support.”
She told him the details. Accepted his praise and attentions. Their gazes held, she flicked hers away, hid behind her cup, remembering those lips. Lips she’d tasted. A mouth that had visited most parts of her anatomy. Hands that had worked her so thoroughly she might never want for another’s explorations. A wit that kept her on her toes, running to keep up, a humour that kept her heart ticking madly.
A man she’d rebuffed.
“Ailsa, what would you say if I told you I’d met someone,” he asked. “Would you be sad, would you care?”
She made extra effort to give him a neutral smile. “I’d be pleased for you.”
But Ailsa felt her senses take the big dipper ride and they didn’t recover. Her stomach just reeled in mid air and clamoured for stability.
“I’m thinking she’s it. Though that makes me sound like one of Amanda’s dramas now,” his tone was serious, deafening in heavy implications. “I would have loved to have met her years ago but life leads us in circles sometimes.”
Ailsa stirred the remains of her coffee. As smiles went hers was straight out of Drama Academy.
“Early days,” he said. “It’s just a gut feeling you know? How do I handle it – all guns blazing or take it slow?”
“Instinct, just follow instinct as hard as you can.”
The air was heavy with what it implied. They’d screwed up and wasted things. Now he’d moved on and her feelings were too late. Ailsa wanted to upend the table and run from the coffee house like a bat out of the Black Forest. Instead she willed her breathing to calm, her smile to stay.
“She’ll know a good thing.”
He watched her for long seconds then said, “I can hope so.”
She checked her watch and did a “God, look at the time” act straight out of vaudeville. “I have a friend calling. He tends to show up unannounced.”
“Better not keep you.” Dark mineral eyes that she still remembered glittering in the throws of passion watched her. Eyes she recalled lighting up with raw primal hunger of his desire.
She itched to clarify – the caller’s name is Bogey and he stays out charming pusscat dolls on rooftops and all I get are vet bills and scratch marks.
“I have to go.” She rose from her seat, feeling the need to escape. Escape him, the fact life had moved on. That only the thought of Nick still managed to get her through and now that hope was snuffed.
“All the best with your business. It’s been brilliant to see you.”
She took his hand. “Thanks.”
She swiftly walked away. Out of the coffee bar. Out of Nick’s life. Out of that crazy, earth-spinning phase that had drawn to a definite close. And all the time she chanted – Kirsty, Mum, give me a sign? Why do I wreck things and always leave saying the important stuff much too late?
***
“Three months gone,” said Ailsa. “You’re really going to be a Mummy, Lisa.”
“I’m getting my head around it. It happened sooner than we anticipated,” Lisa was looking positively blooming.
Since they’d moved into their own place Ailsa hadn’t seen so much of her favourite couple. And Andy had proved her wrong in all her underestimations of his true regard. She’d been wrong to doubt him. Andy was transformed by prospective Fatherhood. He no longer looked like Chief PartyRocker at the Motorbike and Greasy Food Convention. The thought twanged her still achy heartstrings.
“I’m pleased for you both.”
“I’m just such a stud that when I decide to make a baby with a woman I manage it at first effort.” Andy said with macho bluster.
“Idiot’s luck,” said Ailsa, then, pulled he and Lisa to her. “I’m glad you got back on track.”
“For you,” said Andy presenting Ailsa with a large flat square object in swathes of brown wrapping paper.
“What’s this?” asked Ailsa looking up quizzically “It’s not my birthday.”
Lisa jerked her head in a ‘do it’ gesture. “Tell her.”
“As an apology for all that using your shower water for motorbike washing – trampling oil on your carpet. Living with you uninvited, for giving you grief about your love life and trying to set you up with bikers. I must have been a pain. Lisa’s idea but I have to agree. She’s right. I am sorry.”
“You were a pain,” Ailsa nodded. “And mouthy. But since you make Lisa happy I’ll forgive you. And just wait until you have to ch
ange a nappy; you’re gonna pay. And I’ll be cool Aunty Ailsa who takes the little one to the zoo and lives on her own eating spam sandwiches with a cat called Bolshy Bogey.”
Ailsa unwrapped the beautiful framed print of Edinburgh Castle at Hogmanay, awash with fireworks. It fired a soft spot in her heart.
The print summed up quaky memories of an exciting but now lost episode in her life. But it would still make a dramatic statement above her sitting room mantle.
Ailsa kissed the crazy blushing Dad to be. “Thanks. I should never have called you those things I said behind your back to Lisa.”
“Which were?”
“You’re not really a useless lump. And your sperm have just proved themselves highly effective.”
Andy narrowed eyes that told her he would make her pay. “And I should never have raided your secret diary hiding spot,” Andy added (but only after he was a safe distance away). “Though I particularly enjoyed your entries when Nick was here. Have you thought of a career in erotic fiction?”
He took his cue to depart before she could damage parts of his anatomy that would be required should Lisa ever decide to add to their growing dynasty.
***
Three days later Ailsa had an unexpected delivery at home.
Greg stood on her doorstep with a massive wooden crate. “Hi Ailsa. I’m moving and things are mad busy but I figured it might be the perfect time to give you this?”
He and his friend Dan, who Ailsa had known from school days, lifted the object into the flat. Once inside they opened the crate.
“Kirsty’s writing desk!”
Greg smiled. “I’d forgotten it. Actually it was your Mum’s but she gave it to Kirsty. I totally forgot that it was in storage when I revamped the old flat. Kirsty loved to sit and write at it. I remembered when we met up at the bar. Went out to my lock-up and anyway – maybe you’d like it? If you’ve no room but we can take it away.”
“Thanks, given the fire it’s wonderful to have something back.”
At first she felt tearful but she pulled herself together. The last time she’d seen it, had been the night before she left for London. She remembered Kirsty had gone into one of the drawers to give her a notepaper set to write to her on. Ailsa remembered feeling guilty. She’d loved her sister dearly but sometimes her glory meant she’d overshadowed everyone around her. Ailsa wanted time in the sun too. But maybe, in a strange way, Kirsty’s list had repaid that debt in all the ‘out of character’ memories she’d given her.
