Adventurous Proposal

by Laura Barnard

  The lift pings open.

  ‘The decisions been made now, so it’s over and done with,’ he says finally.

  Why don’t I believe him? Surely deep down he’d want his mum there at his wedding?

  He drags me out into the snow, which is coming down surprisingly thick. We only have the car park to play in, but we still manage to have fun, pelting each other with snowballs, using the cars for cover.

  When we finally make it upstairs we strip off, have a boiling hot shower together and okay, maybe a bit of slippery sex, and then get changed into our pj’s. Well, I do. He puts on a T-shirt and jogging bottoms. Then we decide to make a fort out of cushions from the sofa.

  ‘I can’t wait to be married to you,’ he says with a smile as we crawl under it.

  ‘I am pretty awesome,’ I agree.

  He pushes my hair out of my eyes. ‘Two days, baby. Two days until you’re mine.’

  ‘I’m already yours,’ I smile, wanting nothing more than to make it official. I’m conscious that I haven’t told him I love him yet and that’s because when I say it, I want to really mean it. I want to feel it so sure in my bones that there’s no doubt. And until then I’m saying nothing.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Saturday 24th December

  I can’t believe I’m at my own rehearsal dinner. I can’t actually understand the whole concept of a rehearsal dinner. I mean, it’s not a rehearsal for the wedding. Not a practical, you stand here, I stand there, kind of thing. More a poncy meal with the wedding party to indulge in talking shit.

  His Grandma insisted on it being held at a nice hotel. I think it’s just cruel. Show me what we could have had if we’d have accepted the money from his Mum. Not that she’s here. He was serious when he said she was banned. According to his Grandma, she’s devastated.

  I can’t help but feel bad and responsible for it all. I know she was the one in the wrong, but still, for her to miss her own son’s wedding feels like a severe punishment.

  I find Hugh after the speeches. He’s on the balcony, snowflakes falling around him, staring out at the already settled thick snow. He should really wear a coat.

  ‘Aren’t you cold?’ I ask, rubbing my own arms as goosepimples travel up them.

  ‘A little,’ he admits reluctantly. ‘You definitely shouldn’t be out here.’ He takes off his jacket and places it round my shoulders. It reminds me of every romantic movie I’ve ever seen.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ I press, studying his thoughtful face.

  He smiles, his eyes tired. ‘Nothing much.’

  This makes me nervous. Is he getting cold feet?

  ‘Are you having second thoughts about tomorrow?’

  He turns to me, his face horrified. ‘No! Of course not.’ His face drops as if realising something. ‘Why, are you?’

  ‘No!’ I shout with a chuckle. ‘My feet are warm. Toasty warm. Even in this snow. I was just checking.’ I need to bring up his Mother, but I’m not sure how he’s going to react. ‘Don’t you miss your Mother tonight?’

  ‘I told you,’ he snaps, bad temperedly. ‘I don’t want anyone here that isn’t one hundred percent supportive of us.’

  I put my hands up in surrender. ‘Okay, okay, chill out.’

  I know he’s lying though. Of course, it’s upsetting him that his own Mother’s not here. I can see it in his eyes. He can lie to me all he likes. I already know him better than he knows himself.

  ‘Okay. I’m just going to pop in and check on the guests.’

  He smiles, his eyes already back off staring into the distance.

  That’s it. I have to see her.

  I knock on their door as soon as I arrive, eager not to waste any more time. The maid answers the door.

  ‘Hi, is Mrs Humphrey here?’

  ‘Oh, she very tired.’

  ‘That’s fine,’ I say, pushing past her. ‘I’m sure she won’t mind.’

  I push into the sitting room and find her lying on the sofa in silk pyjamas. Wow. I did not expect to find her like this. So...normal.

  ‘Florence!’ she yelps, when she sees me, moving so she’s sitting up. ‘What are you doing here?’

  I notice two empty wine bottles on the coffee table. Drowning her sorrows, clearly. Weird, because she actually looks sober. Maybe she’s one of those alcoholics that doesn’t actually show it.

  ‘I’m here to have it out with you,’ I explain, hand on my hip.

  ‘Should I call police, Mrs Humphrey?’ the maid asks. I turn to look at her. She flinches like I’m going to hit her.

  ‘That won’t be necessary,’ she says back to her. ‘This is, after all, my future daughter in law,’ she says with clear distaste. ‘Whether I like it or not.’

  I sit down across from her. ‘Look, I get that you don’t like me. I’m not posh enough for you, and you’re sure I’m out to steal Hugh’s money, but sooner or later you’re going to realise I’m here for life. I’m not a quitter, and I definitely don’t plan on quitting on my marriage.’

  ‘Please,’ she scoffs. ‘You don’t even know each other. How can you be so confident?’

  ‘Because I love him.’

  Wow, I’m not supposed to be shocked at that myself. Do I love him? Shit, I suppose I do. That snuck up on me without me realising.

  ‘I know how I feel, and I know how Hugh feels. I get that you doubt us, but surely in five years time, when you realise I’m still there, you’re going to regret not going to your son’s wedding?’

  ‘You make it sound like a choice,’ she scoffs. ‘Hugh told me in no uncertain terms that I was unwelcome.’

  I sigh. God, she’s stubborn. ‘Only because you tried to pay me off to disappear!’

  ‘Florence, one day you may have a son. That son may very well be my Grandson. Let me tell you that you will be just as protective as me. Hugh’s my only baby. I just want to make sure he’s being looked after.’

  ‘Did I take the money?’ I ask scornfully, crossing my arms over my chest.

  ‘Not yet,’ she admits reluctantly. ‘But it’s still on the table.’

  ‘I don’t believe you!’ I explode. ‘Here I am, offering you an olive branch and you’re still trying to piss all over it.’

  She smiles sadly. I have no idea what that smile means.

  I take a deep breath and try to centre myself. I’m here for Hugh, not her.

  ‘Look, I know that deep down Hugh would really love it if you were there. Please come tomorrow.’

  I can’t believe I’m asking her this, but it’s the right thing.

  ‘You’d still invite me, after all I’ve just said?’ she asks, giving me a quizzical look.

  I sigh, exhausted from arguing. ‘Yes.’

  She muses over this for a moment. ‘Then maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you are right for him.’

  Wow. I never thought I’d hear that out of her mouth.

  ‘Thank you,’ I smile, grabbing at the compliment while it’s still available.

  ‘But you still have the cheque, just in case.’

  She had to ruin it.

  ‘God, you’re annoying.’

  By the time I make it back to the rehearsal dinner most people have gone. I search around for Hugh and spot him by a Christmas tree just past the lobby. He’s going to be so happy when I tell him his Mum has come round and is attending tomorrow.

  I attempt to wave when I see that he’s talking to someone. My hand remains hovering in the air when I notice that the person is Felicity. What the hell? I thought she hadn’t turned up tonight, but now I find her talking closely to Hugh the night before my wedding?

  He’s frowning, deep in some discussion with her. What the hell are they talking about, alone, at this time of night? And did I mention THE NIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING!!

  She leans in and hugs him. It’s like someone’s winded me. I hold onto a pillar to steady myself, unable to look away. He closes his eyes shut as if her touch is causing some kind of emotional pain. She pulls back slightly and looks up
at him. His eyes are pained, the internal war he’s fighting, evident.

  Get off him, whore.

  My heart misses a beat as he slowly lowers his head. Please God, please no. Don’t kiss her. His lips connect with hers.

  I spin around, feeling faint. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. He still loves her. Of course he does. I was right all along. I was just some kind of plan to bring her back to him. The callous bastard. He played me. He played me good.

  I can’t breathe. I slump down against the pillar, the air in the room close. My life is over. The life that we’d planned anyway, the life I’d seen myself living, all gone in one betraying kiss.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sunday 25th December

  I haven’t slept a wink all night. Nadine insisted on staying over, but I haven’t had the heart to tell her. I mean, once I say it out loud it’s real. At least right now I can pretend I’ve made some kind of mistake. But I mean, how do you mistake two people kissing? They either are, or they aren’t, right?

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay, hun?’ Nadine asks as she places down my scrambled eggs on toast.

  ‘Yeah,’ I shrug. ‘Just...nervous.’

  And worrying if I should marry my cheating bastard of a fiancée.

  She smiles reassuringly. ‘There’s nothing to be nervous about. Us guys have made that old run down pub look fabulous. I mean, it’s nearly killed us, but to see your face will make it all worth it.’

  I keep checking my phone to see if Hugh has tried to call me. Nothing. Maybe he’s sitting in his own kitchen right now wondering if it’s too late for him to run. Maybe Felicity’s there with him having stayed the night. I wince my eyes shut at the idea, my stomach churns.

  Perhaps I should just take his Mum’s money and run. Cut my losses. Even if he does turn up today, that still means he plans to start our married life lying to each other. That he finds kissing other women to be nothing he should run by me first. I don’t know what to bloody do.

  I know if I tell the girls they’ll be horrified and demand I don’t marry him. Is it sad that I don’t want them to think badly of him? And that deep down I do want to marry him. God, I’m confused. And pathetic. I suppose love does do that to people.

  Do I love Hugh? God knows I’ve tried to keep away from saying it and not meaning it, but now the thought of not spending the rest of my life with him causes physical pain. Oh God, my head is spinning.

  ‘You look stunning,’ Mum gushes, staring at me in my dress.

  I deliberately kept this dress a secret from the others, wanting it to be a grand reveal, and by their faces, I’d say it’s worth it.

  I really don’t know how I’ve let it get this far, but I’ve tried to break everything down into tiny tasks. Have a shower. Go to Mum’s house. Do my hair and makeup. And now I’m standing here in the dress and the car is coming to collect me in thirty minutes.

  ‘Okay, I’m starting to freak out,’ I admit, swallowing convulsively, my stomach heaving.

  ‘I knew this would happen,’ Mum says, tutting. ‘Rushing in to marry someone you don’t know.’ She pats me on the shoulder. ‘It’s okay, love. It’s not too late to back out.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ Mia shrieks. ‘It’s an hour before the fucking wedding! I’ve just broken my back the last few days decorating that pub!’

  It’s hard to find her scary when she’s dressed in the ruby-red bridesmaid dress I picked for her. She looks so elegant. Even with the purple hair and black nail varnish.

  ‘Don’t shout at her,’ Kelly retorts. ‘She’s totally entitled to a pre-wedding freakout.’

  Thank God for happy Kelly. I turn to her. I need some positivity.

  ‘Do you think I’m making a huge mistake?’ I ask, not sure if I want to hear the answer.

  ‘Of course not,’ she laughs. ‘You’ve found a rich, gorgeous man that wants to marry you. There should be no hesitation in sight. God, if you don’t marry him, I will!’

  ‘Flo,’ Nadine calls from upstairs. When did she disappear up there? ‘Come help me with something.’

  ‘She’s the bride, bitch!’ Mia shouts up. ‘She shouldn’t be helping you do anything! Do your job, maid of honour!’

  ‘I need her,’ she shouts back down.

  ‘Ugh, I’ll go. Don’t worry.’

  I stomp up the stairs. Like I’m not having enough of a melodrama down here. She’s sitting waiting for me on my Mum’s bed.

  ‘What is it?’ I demand, hand on hip.

  ‘I just wanted to get you away from the others.’ She pats the bed beside her. ‘Look, if you’re having second thoughts, you don’t have to go through with this.’

  I slump down on the bed, the dress making a funny noise beneath me.

  ‘I know,’ I admit. ‘I’m just so confused.’

  She frowns, studying my face. ‘Why? What’s happened? Yesterday you were so sure.’

  Trust her to see straight through me.

  ‘I...I saw him kiss Felicity last night.’

  ‘WHAT?’ she yelps, standing up.

  I jump up to quieten her. ‘Sssh! I don’t want anyone to know.’

  She scoffs. ‘What, that your fiancée is a fucking dog?!’

  See, this right here is why I didn’t want to tell her. I know her mind will be made up now, and she won’t let me marry him.

  ‘I don’t know the full story,’ I shrug.

  ‘What is there to know?’ she asks, outraged on my behalf. ‘He cheated.’

  ‘I know,’ I sigh, ‘but...I love him.’ I feel better as soon as I’ve said the words out loud.

  ‘You do?’ she asks with sad eyes. That’s not normally the reaction you get from a friend when you tell them you’re in love. I nod. ‘That means you’re going to marry him anyway, right?’

  I rub my forehead, trying to gather my fumbled thoughts. ‘Ugh, I don’t know.’

  She paces around the room a while.

  ‘Okay, look, why don’t you get married and if you find out he’s a cheating arse just divorce the son of a bitch?’

  I sigh. ‘You know how I feel about divorce. When I say my vows, I want them to be forever.’

  She rolls her eyes. ‘God, you’re so ridiculous.’

  ‘Car’s here, girls!’ Mum calls up the stairs.

  Nadine looks at me, eyes wide. ‘This is it, Flo. Now or never.’

  The car pulls up outside the pub. I force myself to take deep breaths for fear I’ll forget all together otherwise. This is it. I’m marrying Hugh. So why can’t I get out of the car?

  ‘Are you okay sweetheart?’ Mum asks for the millionth time.

  ‘I just...I just...’ A stray tear falls down my cheek. Dammit, I don’t want to ruin my makeup.

  Mia and Kelly come to the door carrying their bouquets of red roses with gardenia.

  ‘What’s the hold up, chick?’ Kelly asks, smiling brightly but with worried eyes.

  Mia’s applying an extra layer of red lipstick using the car window reflection. Clearly, she’s not as worried.

  ‘Where’s Nadine?’

  ‘She ran in,’ Mia explains, pouting her lips to check them out. ‘Said she had to ask Hugh something.’

  Oh shit. What if she’s gone in there all guns blazing screaming abuse at him for kissing Felicity? I have to get her. But my legs still won’t move. The cold isn’t helping. I shiver, covering my shoulders with my faux fur stole.

  ‘I don’t think I can go in,’ I admit, my mouth chattering.

  They both turn at the sound of crunching in the snow to see Hugh headed towards us with Nadine. Oh God. What has she done?

  ‘Ladies,’ he nods in greeting. ‘You all look beautiful. Can I please have a word with my bride?’

  Mia raises her eyebrows, but gets the hint and goes, shooing Kelly and Mum away with her. Hugh gets into the other side of the car. I tremble, not knowing what I even want to say to him.

  ‘What’s going on?’ he asks as soon as we’re alone.

  ‘I feel sick,’ I admit, my voice br
eaking.

  ‘Do you not want to marry me?’ he asks, his eyes guarded. For a brief moment, his stunning face is unexpectedly vulnerable.

  ‘Of course I do. I just...’

  ‘I know what you’re worried about,’ he says, smiling in relief.

  Oh, thank God. He knows I saw them.

  ‘You’re worried I’d be cross about you re-inviting my Mother.’

  Oh god, he doesn’t get it? This has nothing to do with his bloody Mother!

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he smiles, taking my hand in his large one. ‘Yes, I was shocked to see her this morning, but she explained how you went to her last night. I did wonder where you’d got to.’

  ‘Did you?’ I ask, the question loaded. He didn’t look that way when he was kissing Felicity.

  ‘Of course I did. I missed you.’ He pulls me in for a quick kiss on the end of my nose. ‘It’s strange how after such a short period of time I’ve come to crave your company.’

  I smile, my insides warming. It’s easy to forget the kiss when he’s saying such sweet things.

  ‘I do too. The truth is that I realised last night that...’ I take a deep breath, ‘I love you.’

  His mouth drops open. ‘Really?’

  I nod, struggling to keep my emotions under control.

  ‘You’re not just saying that because I said it to you, are you?’

  ‘No. I realised last night.’ When you cheated on me, I want to add.

  He swallows, suddenly nervous. ‘Look, while we’re getting things off our chest I have to tell you about Felicity last night.’

  I straighten and gulp down the bile. ‘Oh?’

  This is where I find out. He can either tell me a lie or the truth.

  ‘She was pretty drunk last night and cornered me while I was looking for you. She started going on about the past and how it could be us getting married today.’

  That bitch.

  ‘Then she started bringing up the baby.’ His eyes glisten over with tears. ‘We were both upset.’

  I’m waiting for the words to leave his mouth and pierce my heart.

  ‘But I told her we would have never worked. Explained that I love you now. She was devastated, so I gave her one last kiss goodbye.’