“You know me, but I really don’t know you. It would be like unburdening yourself to a stranger, which might make it easier. I’d be more than willing to listen.”
Max ran one hand over his chin and stared at Josie. Pour out his pain, his heartache about losing Josie to Josie Wentworth herself? That would be the dumbest thing he’d ever done.
But then again...
He’d spent his life bottling everything up inside, handling it all in solitude. But since he’d met Josie he’d lost most of his protective wall, had come to look forward to talking with her. He’d learned the difference between personal privacy and sharing—and sharing won, hands down.
As crazy as it was, maybe he could be free of the crushing weight of loneliness, the icy chill caused by missing Josie, by looking right at her while he explained why their worlds could never mesh.
It was worth a try. Hell, he couldn’t go on the way he was. With Josie being in the midst of another bout of amnesia, she’d never have a clue that he was talking about them.
Hell, why not? Anything was better than the emotional agony he’d been through since leaving her. When she regained her memory and realized he’d been speaking about them, she’d know he’d dealt with his loss and why he was moving forward with his life, alone.
“You wouldn’t mind hearing my woes?” he said.
“Not at all.” Josie wriggled farther back on the sofa. “There. I’m all settled in. You go right ahead and share, Max, and I’ll listen.”
Please, Max, she silently begged. This is our last chance. She’d concocted this desperate plan with the hope, prayer, that stubborn, prideful Max Carter would bare his soul, step from behind the last remaining bricks of his protective wall, so she could reach out to him, fully, at long last. Please, please, Max. Do it. For us. For our baby. I love you so much.
Max gripped the arms of the chair, not realizing his hold was so tight his knuckles were turning white.
“Yeah, well, there is...was a woman,” he said, “who came into my life and I... But she...” He shook his head. “No, I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. You must.” Josie strove to keep her voice from trembling. “The woman came into your life and...?”
“Okay, okay. She’s very wealthy, comes from a prominent family.” He swept his eyes over the small room, then met Josie’s gaze again. “Look at this place. It’s shabby. I’m a land-poor rancher, nothing more, and it’s not enough.”
“Did she say that?” Josie said, her heart beating so wildly she could hear it in her ears.
“Well, no, not really. I said it, to myself. We pretended for a while that it didn’t matter, created a fantasy world built on stolen time.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Josie said softly.
“It was, it truly was. She changed me, taught me so much about sharing and caring. But the truth couldn’t be ignored forever. So now? It’s over. I’m in my world. She’s in hers. The end.”
This was it, Josie thought, fighting against threatening tears. She was about to ask the question that would determine all the tomorrows yet to come.
“Max?” she said, her voice hardly above a whisper. “Are you in love with her? Do you love her with all your heart?”
A muscle jumped in Max’s jaw. He stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. When he looked at Josie again, a sob caught in her throat as she saw the raw pain radiating from the dark depths of Max’s eyes.
“Yes,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “Yes, I’m in love with her. I want her to be my wife, the mother of my children, my life partner. She’ll never know that, though, because I have nothing to offer her.”
Oh, dear God, Josie thought, Max loved her, just as she loved him. She wanted to run across the room, fling herself into his arms and never let him go. But no, she had to control her soaring emotions. Everything hung in the balance now, depended on her saying exactly the right words to this magnificent man.
She pressed one hand onto her stomach, envisioning her and Max’s child nestled there.
Courage, Josie, she told herself. Reach deeply for courage and womanly wisdom.
Jack be nimble. Jack be quick.
Josie lifted her chin and looked directly into Max’s eyes.
“Is she in love with you, Max?”
“I don’t know. She cares for me deeply. She wouldn’t take what we shared together lightly. I think...yes, maybe, she might be in love with me. But, hell, she knows as well as I do that we can’t have a future together. What would have been the point in telling me that she loves me? I didn’t tell her how I really felt, either.”
“Let’s assume she’s in love with you.”
“Whatever.” Max released his tight hold on the chair and crossed his arms over his chest again. “This conversation is getting ridiculous.”
“No, it’s not. It’s important,” Josie said, a slightly frantic edge to her voice. “There’s a solution to the problem of your opposite worlds.”
“Yeah, right. Wave a magic wand and make her as poor as a church mouse.”
“Max, please, listen to me. Please?”
He shrugged. “Go for it.”
“You each bring things from your worlds and mesh them into one entity. She’s wealthy? Fine. Let her build a big, rambling, sunny house here on the ranch were your children can grow up. Your love will fill that house, turn it into a home ringing with laughter and joy.”
“Pretty picture,” Max said sarcastically. “What in the hell am I adding to the pot?”
Josie leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
“Oh, Max, don’t you see? You would bring, along with your love, the wonder of the land, of fresh air and sunshine, and freedom to run through fields of wildflowers. You’d teach your children the lessons of working hard and reaping the rewards of that work.”
Tears spilled onto Josie’s cheeks and she dashed them away.
“And, Max?” she said, tears echoing in her voice. “When the leaves turn color in the fall, you’d all go walking in the woods as the wind whispered through the trees and you’d hear the song of autumn.
“You have nothing to offer her? Oh, Max, you have precious gifts to give her and your children, along with your love.”
Max pushed himself to his feet, teetering for a moment on his cast-covered leg.
“That’s what my father thought a lifetime ago. But guess what? My mother didn’t want any of it. She left. She just packed up and took off.”
There they went, Josie thought, the last bricks of Max’s wall had just fallen. Oh, my darling, my beloved Max.
“Stop for a second and think,” she said softly. “Think about the woman you love. Don’t make her pay the price for what your mother did. If your lady really loves you, Max, would she ever leave you if you allowed her to stay by your side? Look deep into your heart. Would she leave you?”
Max drew a shuddering breath. “No. No, not my Josie. Once she makes up her mind about something... no...”
“No, I would never leave you,” Josie said, rising to her feet. “Because I love you, Max Carter. I love you with all that I am, and you love me. Oh, Max, please, let me come home.”
Max narrowed his eyes. “Take that bandage off your head.”
Josie tore off the gauze, lifted her chin and squared her shoulders.
“There’s nothing wrong with your head,” Max said, none too quietly. “This was a game, a sham.”
“A hope and a prayer,” Josie said. “We can mesh our worlds. Max, if you let us. We can have it all.”
“You really love me?”
“With all my heart.”
“You’d build a house and I’d—”
“Give us the song of autumn.”
“Oh, God, Josie,” Max said, his voice choked with emotion. He opened his arms to her. “Come here.”
And Josie went.
She flung herself into Max’s embrace, nearly toppling them over. Their lips met in a
kiss that was a commitment to forever and caused their loneliness and pain to be chased into oblivion, never to return.
The kiss was love.
Much later they lay close together on Max’s bed, sated from lovemaking, at peace.
Max splayed one hand on Josie’s flat stomach.
“Unbelievable,” he said. “A baby. Our child. Ah, Josie, you’ve given me so much, brought such happiness into my empty life. Will you marry me?”
“What I’ve given you matches what you’ve given me, Max. And, yes, I’ll marry you.” She paused. “We’ll have Jeff deliver our baby.”
“Yep.” Max frowned, then burst into laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“It just registered in my thick head. Jeff was so shook up trying to pull off his part in your fabulous plan that he really messed up. He said Mary-Amber Henderson was in labor with twins.”
“Yes. So?”
“Mary-Amber Henderson is seventy-two years old.”
Their mingled laughter danced through the air, creating a new and wondrous song that would be theirs forever.
Epilogue
Josie stood in front of the calendar on the wall of Max’s kitchen, staring at the squares of numbers.
“Mail call,” Max yelled, coming in the front door. He entered the kitchen. “What’s so interesting about the calendar?”
“I just realized that Thanksgiving will be here before we know it,” Josie said, smiling at him. “I wonder if I can learn how to cook a turkey by then?”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think so.” Max chuckled as he sifted through the stack of mail. “Why don’t we accept your grandfather’s very generous offer to fly us to Freemont Springs in the company plane and share the holiday with him and your brother, Michael? We’ll eat turkey prepared by your Evvie.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Hey, here’s the application form I requested to change the brand for the ranch,” Max said, looking at an envelope. “We’ll fill this out, mail it in, and we’ll soon be the Double C.”
“What about the baby?”
Max dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “Josie, I want a slew of kids, but the rumps on cattle are just so big, you know. Let’s settle for a brand that represents only you and me, because we’ll still be here together when those children are grown and off finding their places in the world.”
“You’re a wise man, Max Carter,” Josie said, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Hey, look at this.” He handed an envelope to Josie. “It’s addressed to Sabrina. Go ahead and open it.”
Josie took the piece of mail. “Max, are you certain you’re comfortable about opening Sabrina’s personal mail?”
“Yes. I don’t know where my cousin is, and maybe this will give us a clue. If your brother, Jack, really did love Sabrina and she loved him, then she’s lonely and in pain. She needs her family, just as your grandfather needs to connect with her, if she was to become Jack’s wife.”
“Thank you, Max,” Josie said, love shining in her big, dark eyes.
“You’ve taught me a great many important things, Josie. Open the envelope.”
Josie did as instructed, and Max read the enclosed piece of paper over her shoulder.
“It’s a bill,” he said. “From Dr. Amanda Lucas in Mason’s Grove. That’s a small town between Tulsa and Stillwater.”
“Dr. Lucas is an OB/GYN,” Josie said. “Oh, how frustrating. We have no way of knowing if Sabrina saw Amanda Lucas for her obstetrics specialty, or the gynecology. Physician confidentiality will, no doubt, keep Dr. Lucas from telling us.”
“Yep.”
“Wait a minute,” Josie said. “I thought the name Mason’s Grove sounded familiar. There’s an old family friend who lives there. Sam Arquette.
“Max, I’m going to telephone Sam and ask him to, well, sort of check out Amanda Lucas, see if he can discover if there’s any chance at all she might be sympathetic to our need to find Sabrina.”
“It’s worth a try, my love,” Max said.
Josie turned and lifted the telephone receiver.
FOLLOW THAT BABY
into Silhouette Romance
in November 1998
when star author Kristin Morgan
tells the emotional, heartwarming story of
THE DADDY AND THE BABY DOCTOR
And in future months, look for these fabulous titles:
THE SHERIFF AND THE IMPOSTOR BRIDE
by Elizabeth Bevarly,
Desire, December 1998
THE MILLIONAIRE AND THE PREGNANT
PAUPER
by Christie Ridgway,
Yours Truly, January 1999
THE MERCENARY AND THE NEW MOM
by Merline Lovelace,
Intimate Moments, February 1999
Turn the page for a
sneak preview of the next fabulous
FOLLOW THAT BABY title,
THE DADDY AND THE BABY DOCTOR
by star author Kristin Morgan,
available in Silhouette Romance
in November 1998....
Sam Arquette paused momentarily to study the engraved brass name plate on the office door. It read Amanda Lucas, M.D. Turning the knob, he stepped inside and in one swift glance saw that the waiting room was full.
Full of pregnant women.
Well, he had been halfway expecting as much. Amanda Lucas’s reputation as one of the best OB/ GYN specialists in Mason’s Grove, Oklahoma, was almost godlike. If he had learned anything at all about her in the past few hours, it was that she was considered the town’s baby doctor extraordinaire. But the truth of the matter was, he wasn’t here to see Amanda Lucas because the good folks in Mason’s Grove thought the world of her. He was here as a favor to a friend.
If it hadn’t been for the favor Josie Wentworth had asked of him, he would have been at home right this minute, doing chores around his small farm while enjoying the company of his two young children. It was his way of life these days, although sometimes the fact that it was still surprised him.
In truth, he really didn’t mind doing this favor for Josie. He wanted to help the Wentworths all he could. He and Jack Wentworth, Josie’s older brother, had been Navy buddies, and the best of friends. Now Jack was dead, killed only recently while on an undercover mission. It seemed impossible that it could be true, but it was. And now the Wentworths were looking for a young woman whom they believed was involved with Jack right before his death. But, according to Josie, the woman had literally disappeared. Luckily, Josie had come across a doctor’s statement that suggested the woman might be living in Mason’s Grove. And since he now lived in the small Oklahoma town, Josie had asked him to look into the matter for her.
Clearing his throat, Sam pushed aside the sad thought that his good friend Jack was dead and, like the disciplined soldier he was, in spite of his retirement, he focused his full attention on accomplishing his mission.
Answers. He wanted answers. For Josie and her family. For Jack. And for himself, too.
Sam cautiously surveyed the crowded waiting room. From the looks of things he figured he had made a mistake coming to Amanda Lucas’s office without calling for an appointment first. But as fulltime daddy to his girls, he had to seize opportunities when they arose. His world revolved around his girls. It was as simple as that.
And as complicated.
He had been ill-prepared to assume the responsibility of being a single parent. At the time of his wife’s death, he had known more about disarming a nuclear weapon than he had about the nutritional needs of his kids. He had come a long way in the past months. Suzy Homemaker, he was not. But he was getting there.
Still, although he was settling down to a more normal way of life than he had ever dreamed possible for himself, all within a blink of an eye of Josie Wentworth’s phone call, he had felt the same old familiar stirrings of excitement that used to accompany him on every SEABEE mission he had ever gone on. Some things, it seemed, never changed. He wa
s about as far away from that world as he could possibly get, and yet, deep down inside, he really wasn’t that far away at all. Nor would he ever be, he now realized. Once a soldier, always a soldier.
Not that he was expecting this favor he was doing for the Wentworths to be any kind of a challenge. Good grief, he had just come here to ask the good lady-doctor a few questions about one of her patients. Just how difficult could that be?
Squaring his shoulders, Sam started forward, his eyes fixed on the receptionist area at the rear of the waiting room. It took him five long strides to reach the counter. Meanwhile, he couldn’t help but notice that the decor in the room was leaning toward a very feminine influence. In fact, he was beginning to feel like a bull in a China shop.
The receptionist looked up and greeted him with a smile. “Hi. Can I help you?”
He grinned. “I’m Sam Arquette. I’m here to see the doctor.”
“I see,” she replied hesitantly. Then she cocked her head to one side. “You know, don’t you, that Doc Lucas is an OB/GYN physician? All of her patients are women.”
“I’m quite aware of that fact,” Sam replied. “Look, I’ll only take up a moment of her time.”
“I’m sorry,” the receptionist replied. “But unless you have an emergency, Dr. Lucas won’t see you without an appointment.”
Already Sam was shaking his head. “You don’t understand. My business with Dr. Lucas is extremely important. I must see her now—today.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “In fact, I’m not leaving here until I do.”
After giving him a thoughtful frown, the young receptionist said, “Okay, if it’s that urgent, I’ll see what I can do.”
Within a couple of minutes, she was back. “This must be your lucky day, Mr. Arquette,” she announced. “Doc Lucas has agreed to see you. Follow me. I’ll take you to her office.”
Moments later, alone in Amanda Lucas’s office, Sam sat down to wait for his meeting with her. Minutes passed. Long, endless minutes. Finally, he picked up the only magazine he saw lying around and began reading an article on breast feeding. He figured he might as well learn something while he waited.
The Rancher And The Amnesiac Bride Page 18
