“I like your mom a lot,” Tim said quietly. If possible, he seemed even more handsome than when he left, and Pennie was as beautiful as always. They were handsome young people. Pennie was trying to figure out what she still felt about him during lunch. She wasn’t sure. He was still her best friend, although she hardly heard from him now, and she didn’t have the same rush of excitement when she saw him, but they knew each other so well. That was hard to replace, and she didn’t want to try, yet. “Are you dating anyone?” he asked her, and she shook her head with a serious expression.
“I was pretty depressed after…when…well, this summer.” They both knew what she meant. She didn’t like talking about the baby she had lost, and it was hard even with him. “I’m better now. But there’s no one I want to date.”
“I think things worked out the way they were meant to,” he said gently, and touched her hand across the table. “We could have done it, but it would have been hard, for both of us. It would have changed our lives forever.” As she looked at him, and held his hand, she knew something she hadn’t before, that they really were friends. They had been through something hard together, and he had stood by her unfailingly. He would have married her if she’d agreed to, and she had a feeling he would have been more gracious than her father ever had been with her mother for the same reason. Tim wasn’t a bitter, vengeful person. He had never blamed her for a minute. He really did love her. And that love had solidified their friendship, but she had a feeling that their moment as lovers was over. The feelings had changed. They were stronger but different, what they shared now was longer lasting. He was smiling when she looked up at him, and she smiled too.
“Are you dating anyone?” she asked him.
“Kind of…sort of…not really…dinner or a movie here and there. No one I care about. There’s no one like you, Pennie.” But even with what he said, she knew they had played out their love affair, and now they were left with a friendship so strong that time and distance wouldn’t change it. “I think I’d like to live in California after I graduate,” he said. “Maybe work in Silicon Valley or San Francisco in venture capital. It’s so small-town here in Greenwich, and New York is too extreme. I like the weather out there and the people, the way of life, the outdoors. It suits me. I love it.” She could see him doing it, although California held no lure for her. She wanted to stay in the east, and be near her family, and New York. There was so much she enjoyed about the city, theater, museums, art, culture.
He drove her home after lunch, and she thanked him. The questions had been answered for her, without putting words to them. They had their separate paths. They had known that when he graduated from high school in June, and her getting pregnant had confused everything for both of them. But they weren’t confused anymore. They were best friends forever and they had both grown up.
“I’ll be home for Christmas. I’ll see you then,” he said when he dropped her off. She kissed his cheek and slid out of his car. He didn’t try to kiss her on the mouth, and much to her own surprise, she didn’t want him to. Best friends was better. “Take care of yourself, Pen,” he called after her, and she turned with a broad smile.
“You too. See you at Christmas!” She ran into the house then and smiled as he drove away. Seeing her had been good for him too. He had felt guilty for months about what had happened, that she’d had to go through so much because of him, and he hadn’t been there. He thought he owed it to her to marry her because of it. But they had been relieved of a burden neither of them was equal to. And now they could be friends, and they knew that would last, maybe longer than a marriage would have.
Chapter 9
Pennie turned eighteen two weeks before Christmas. She finished the last of her college applications the weekend before. With her mother’s constant nagging, urging, help, and encouragement, she had finished them early, so she would be free over the Christmas vacation, unlike many of her classmates, who hadn’t started them yet, and would have a mad scramble to get them done by the deadline. She had gone back to volunteering on Saturdays at the homeless shelter, her board scores were perfect, and her teacher recommendations were excellent. Her first choice school was still Harvard. She wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps if she could get in. She wasn’t sure she would. She was applying to Yale, Princeton, Dartmouth, Duke, Columbia, and NYU, although she was less excited about staying in New York for college. She wanted a completely new experience, and would like to be a little farther from home. She could always work in New York later. Tim had encouraged her to apply to Stanford. He loved it so much, but she didn’t. She didn’t feel like a California girl, although it would have been fun to be at the same school with him. She thought she might need a little distance from him too, so she didn’t become dependent on him again. She had done that for three years, and was ready to try her own wings, not rely on his.
Eileen took Pennie and the twins and two of Pennie’s girlfriends to dinner for her birthday at their favorite restaurant, and they had a lovely evening. It was a big deal for Pennie, turning eighteen. Her father had taken her out to dinner in New York to celebrate it the weekend before. They went to La Grenouille, the fanciest restaurant she’d ever been to, and she felt totally grown up, in a short black dress and heels of her mother’s. They had dinner there alone, he did not suggest that Olivia join them. He made no mention of her at all. It was a father-daughter night.
After they came home from dinner on her birthday, Eileen sat down to consult with them about something. For a minute, they all thought that she was going to tell them that she had filed for divorce, but Pennie didn’t think she’d announce that on her birthday, and she didn’t.
“I want to ask your opinion about something,” she said. “I felt like something important was missing when your father didn’t spend Thanksgiving with us this year. I don’t think he celebrated it. We’re the only family he has.”
“Wasn’t he with his girlfriend?” Mark piped up, and his sister gave him a quelling look.
“It didn’t sound like it,” Eileen said calmly. The children hadn’t seen Olivia again, and Paul had kept his love life away from them since the fateful lunch at Serendipity. “What do you think if we invite him to dinner on Christmas Eve? If you’d like that, I’ll do it. If you don’t care, I won’t. But it might be nice for us to be together for Christmas this year.” She didn’t want to do it forever, but this once might be a nice transition for all of them.
“Does this mean you’re getting back together?” Seth asked her, and she shook her head.
“No, it doesn’t. I just thought that for Christmas, we could relax a little.” Paul hadn’t been back to the house since October, and she hadn’t wanted him there. She hadn’t seen him at all and didn’t want to. They’d arranged for visitations by email and phone, but had no contact in person. He hadn’t asked to see her either.
“I’d like it a lot if he comes for Christmas,” Seth said, smiling broadly, and Mark seconded it.
“What about you?” she asked Pennie.
“I think it would be nice,” she said softly. “Would it be hard for you?”
“Maybe, but I’m the one suggesting it. Christmas is Christmas, but I’ll do whatever you like.”
“Let’s invite him,” Mark said, grinning, and Pennie and Seth nodded. Eileen sent Paul an email that night, extending the invitation. She made it clear that there were no romantic implications to the invitation. It was a joint family invitation from her and the kids. He answered her half an hour later, said he was deeply touched by her generosity and accepted with pleasure. She had already figured out that he could sleep on the couch in his old office, which she was using now. Paul knew that Olivia would be with her family again for Christmas and hadn’t invited him, so he was grateful for Eileen’s invitation. He didn’t want to be alone on Christmas, missing his kids.
The day after Pennie’s birthday, Eileen got a large envelope in th
e mail that she’d been expecting for weeks. It was full of forms to fill out. It took her nearly all day to do it, but she completed all of it and sent it back the next day.
A week after Eileen had emailed Paul about spending Christmas Eve with them, Olivia was curled up in his arms after they made love, and she smiled up at him. Christmas was a week away.
“How would you like to have Christmas Eve dinner with my family?” she asked him in a husky voice fresh from their lovemaking. He smiled at her and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Their sex life had never been better, and they were happy with each other.
“I’d love to,” he said gently, “but I’m spending it with my children.”
“In the city? At your apartment?” She looked startled but didn’t want to invite them. She wasn’t ready for that, and neither were his kids. She was still smarting from their last encounter, and was sure they were too, since he had never suggested another one. And she hoped he wouldn’t anytime soon.
“No, in Greenwich. Eileen emailed me about it last week, with an invitation from her and the children for Christmas Eve. I figured you would be with your family, and you haven’t said anything, so I accepted.”
“Why didn’t you ask me first?” She was visibly disappointed, and worried.
“I didn’t want to be pushy about being with your family. And to be honest, I’d love to be with my kids. I was grateful to be asked.”
“Is there some deeper meaning here?” she asked, suspicious. Maybe Eileen was trying to win him back and using the nostalgia of the holiday and their children.
“None whatsoever. She even said so in the email, ‘no romantic implications,’ just a family holiday. Who knows, it might be the last Christmas I spend with them, after a divorce, so I’d like to do it.”
She sat up in bed then and was wide awake. “Actually, I’d rather you didn’t. I’d much prefer that you join me and my family.”
“I can’t now,” he said gently. “I don’t want to disappoint my kids.”
“Or your wife?”
“She can take another disappointment. I don’t want the kids to.”
“Have you called your lawyer yet?” she asked him pointedly. “How’s the divorce going?”
“I haven’t. The separation has only been two months. I was planning to do it after the holidays. I don’t need to serve her with divorce papers over Christmas. It can wait a few more weeks.” Olivia didn’t comment, but she didn’t look pleased.
She brought up Christmas Eve dinner two more times in the next few days, but Paul was adamant. He wanted to spend it with his children. He didn’t say it, but Olivia should have thought of it sooner. He very much wanted to meet her mother and grandmother, but he hadn’t been invited to so far, and now it would have to wait until after Christmas. Olivia had doled out privileges slowly, and he knew that was a big one to her, and indicative of a serious commitment, so it meant a lot that she had asked him, but his children were the priority. He couldn’t combine them, for now anyway. He had learned that lesson the hard way.
Olivia made several acerbic comments about his plans in the week before Christmas. She made it clear that she was unhappy he wasn’t joining her, but his spending Christmas with Eileen and the kids in Greenwich was written in stone now. He gave Olivia a beautiful sapphire tennis bracelet, with small diamonds between the sapphires, and she loved it, but she was sad not to be spending Christmas with him. They were going to have dinner together on Christmas night. And she gave him an Hermès black leather jacket he loved. It fit him perfectly. They had been generous with each other.
He had a leisurely breakfast with Olivia the morning of Christmas Eve. He left at noon and took the train to Greenwich. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground when he got there, and his house looked like the image on a Christmas card. Eileen had hired someone to put up the lights on the house and in the trees around it, as they always did, and she had added new ones and a funny Santa Claus, a snowman, and a Rudolph on the front lawn, all lit up. It was corny but the kids loved it, and so did he. When he rang the doorbell and she let him in, he saw the tree decorated in the living room. It almost brought tears to his eyes to be home with them for the holiday. It was the best gift Eileen could have given him, Christmas with his children.
“Thank you for letting me come,” he said to Eileen in a voice husky with emotion.
“It wouldn’t be Christmas without you,” she said warmly, and directed him to leave his things in his old office. It had a bathroom, so he knew he’d be fine there.
The boys jumped on him the minute they saw him. Pennie looked pleased too. Their relationship had been strained ever since she’d met Olivia, but she was warmer for the holiday, and she had bought him a black Ralph Lauren sweater with her own money. She looked happy to have him home. They all were.
He took the boys out to do a last minute errand for their mother. There was a scarf and some gloves they wanted to buy her and didn’t have the money. Pennie hadn’t had time to take them.
They drove off to town, and Eileen put their Christmas music on. If you didn’t know they were separated and he was in love with another woman, you would have thought that all was right in their world. In some ways, it was. And outwardly, it all looked the same.
* * *
—
Olivia was sad that night as she dressed for dinner at her mother’s. She really wanted Paul to be there, and to spend Christmas Eve with them, but she had asked him too late. She hadn’t decided until the last minute, and now he was in Greenwich with his kids and his wife. She didn’t like his being there and for the first time she felt jealous of them. They were a closed circle, a unity, which didn’t include her and she knew she couldn’t compete with. His children were all-important to him, and he wouldn’t let anything come between him and them. It was an admirable quality but she felt left out. He had finally left Eileen, and now he was back there again for Christmas, as though nothing had happened. She didn’t like the fact that he hadn’t filed for divorce yet. What if he didn’t? But he had promised he would after Christmas.
He had texted her when he arrived in Greenwich that afternoon, and she hadn’t heard from him since.
She wore a black velvet dress to dinner at her mother’s that night, and Gwen saw immediately that she looked upset. Gwen was wearing a long dark green velvet skirt with a white satin blouse with full sleeves, and she looked regal as she greeted her daughter and hugged her. Her own mother and Federico hadn’t arrived yet.
“Merry Christmas, darling. Is something wrong?”
“Not really. I’m just annoyed that Paul didn’t come with me. I wanted you to meet him.”
“Where is he? Why didn’t you bring him?”
“I asked him too late. He already had plans.”
“And he didn’t cancel them for you?” Gwen looked surprised.
“He went to Greenwich to be with his wife and kids.”
“Oh.” Gwen understood the problem then and why Olivia looked unhappy. “I see. That’s hard to compete with. Why didn’t they come to him, the kids I mean?”
“He’s not set up for it, and they wanted to be at home with their mother. So he went to them. He said it doesn’t mean anything, but it bothers me anyway. He shouldn’t be there.”
“We’ll see to it that we invite him early enough next year.” Gwen smiled at her daughter as Olivia sat down on her elegant couch. A minute later, the doorbell rang and the butler opened it. Gabrielle and Federico walked in. He was wearing a black velvet dinner jacket, and she was wearing a long, dark red lace dress, which suited her. They looked adorable together, as they came down the stairs to the living room. Federico took the stairs more carefully, and Gabrielle with ease. She hugged her daughter and granddaughter, and Federico joined her seconds later. He had a mane of snow-white hair, and half of his face was still strikingly handsome and perfectly sculpted with his R
oman profile, but the other half was badly scarred, which Gabrielle never noticed, and the others had gotten used to.
The waiter poured each of them a glass of champagne, and they sat down to enjoy each other’s company before dinner. They talked about Federico’s Paris show again, and how beautiful it had been, and Gabrielle turned to Olivia with a question.
“Where’s your young man? Or not so young perhaps,” she laughed.
“With his wife and children,” Olivia said glumly.
“How disappointing. I was hoping to meet him. Oh well, another time.” She didn’t react to what Olivia had said about his wife. “Is all well?”
“Yes, he gave me a beautiful sapphire bracelet for Christmas, and he’ll be back tomorrow.” She held out her wrist to show her grandmother and Gabrielle nodded.
“Next year we’ll have to invite him with his children.” Gwen nodded, not entirely sure she liked the plan. She had valuable delicate objects in her apartment, and didn’t want them broken.
They drank champagne for an hour and then went in to dinner. They had duck à l’orange, which was their tradition, with caviar first, and flaming Christmas pudding for dessert. It was a sumptuous meal.
After dinner, they exchanged gifts. Gabrielle had had her gift to her daughter delivered, and Gwen had noticed that it was incredibly heavy. They had placed it by the fireplace, near the tree. Gwen opened it and it was a miniature of one of Gabrielle’s horses, which she had made for her. Gwen loved it. It was cast in bronze and a beauty. Her mother exclaimed with delight when she opened Gwen’s gift to her. It was the painting she had completed since her mother had suggested she take up painting again. She had, and it was a beautiful Tuscan landscape Gwen had painted from memory. It had the feeling of a Monet.
“Oh, you’re so good,” her mother said with pleasure. “You should have been a painter! You are a painter!” Federico loved it too.
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