by Lisa Childs
I’ve written you so many times over these past few years, but I’ve always lost the nerve to send the letter. Maybe this time will be different. I have so much to tell you. I have a daughter. She’s so beautiful. So smart. So good. She’s definitely more like you than me. And I think often that she should have been yours.
Sasha sucked in a quick breath. Did that mean—was Charles Annie’s father? If he realized, he could take her away, and he might very well be the one who’d killed Annie’s mother.
She read on.
You would make a much better mother than I will ever be. But I’m all she has. Well, me and this wonderful man I’ve met here on the island. Nothing’s happened between us. Like Annie, I’ve often thought he would be better off with you. He’s been hurt so damned bad that he’s not likely to ever take a chance again. I worry that you feel the same way. That I’ve hurt you so badly that you’ll never take a chance on me again. And so, like my other letters, I’ll probably never mail this one. But please know, I am so, so sorry for being selfish and hurtful to you. You never did anything to deserve it. You just loved me. And I’ve never deserved love.
I’ve tried to contact Mom and Dad, too. Becoming a parent has made me understand them. Finally. But their number is disconnected and they have no new listing. I hope they’re healthy and happy. That they’re not working too hard. They deserve an easier life than they had, than I ever gave them. Thank God for you, Sasha.
If anything happens to me, I want you to raise Annie. I know she’ll be safe with you. And I know that even though I killed whatever love you had for me, you will love her. I’m sorry about Charles. For what it’s worth, I truly loved him. Probably still do. But I’ve made so many mistakes…
And the letter stopped there, at the end of the second page. Where was the third? Despite what he’d said, had Reed kept it for evidence?
Or had Nadine’s killer kept it because Nadine had disclosed his identity?
Had she confessed her sins and, in doing so, implicated this person? Is that why she’d died? Because she’d been about to make amends for all her misdeeds?
Sasha set the chair into motion, tears falling onto the pages in her lap. “Oh, Nadine, you’re wrong. You didn’t kill my love for you. I love you still….”
SHE WAS LEAVING. Reed couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t ask her to stay. For her safety, for Annie’s, it was better that Sasha leave Sunset Island. But watching her leave, taking Annie with her, would eat away at what was left of his soul.
The bedroom door opened. She stopped and gasped, hand pressed to her heart. “I thought you left.”
She might have preferred that. He couldn’t tell from her expression, and she refused to meet his eyes, hers red with the tears she must have cried over Nadine’s letter. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her alone to read it. But she always fought so hard to hold in her tears if someone was around. And he’d felt that she needed to weep for Nadine. Maybe her tears would wash away her guilt.
“I didn’t leave.” He stated the obvious but only to reassure her. “I’m staying tonight.”
Tomorrow it wouldn’t be necessary. Tomorrow she would be gone.
“For Annie’s protection?” she asked, indicating the baby monitor she held in one hand while the other clutched her sister’s letter.
“That’s part of it,” he admitted, flinching as he remembered the sight of the little girl sitting alone on the beach, the waves sucking at her pant legs, about to drag her away from him. He wasn’t any better at protecting Annie than he’d been at protecting her mother. No, it would be safest for Sasha and Annie to leave Sunset Island.
“And the other part?” she asked, setting the monitor on the bedside table.
“You.”
“Here’s your evidence,” she said, extending the paper toward him, parts of it transparent from the tears she’d shed upon it. “Do you have the third page?”
His jaw cracked as he clenched it, his anger at the killer, not at her obvious lack of trust in what he’d al ready told her. She didn’t really believe that he was keeping information from her. “No.”
She nodded. “So the killer has the rest of my sister’s letter. Is that why Barbie was killed? She was blackmailing whoever did this to Nadine?”
Just as he believed whoever had killed Nadine had been blackmailing her. Ironic that the blackmailer had been blackmailed himself.
“I’ll find her killer,” he promised her again. He might have left some cases unsolved in Detroit, when no leads and no suspects had led to arrests. But he wouldn’t let this case get cold. Nadine deserved justice.
“I believe you,” she said.
Not trust you. Did she trust anyone after what Nadine and Charles had done to her, how badly they’d hurt her?
“About this afternoon,” he began.
She flinched, and he glimpsed the guilt in her blue eyes. She hadn’t cried enough tears to wash it all away.
Her voice quavered as she said, “It was a mistake. I know that. I never would have forgiven myself if we hadn’t found Annie in time.”
Neither would he have. “But we did.”
She expelled a shaky breath. “Thank God we did.”
Curiosity nagged at him, and he asked, “How did you know she was in danger? You were so certain that she was.”
She shrugged her slender shoulders as her cheeks flushed with faint pink color. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
A sigh slipped through her lips. “It sounds too crazy, makes me sound too crazy.”
Crazy. He understood that. Thinking of her leaving tomorrow was making him crazy.
He swallowed hard, then spoke, “What I wanted to say about this afternoon was that, although I regretted the timing, I didn’t regret anything else.”
She tilted her face toward him, her blue eyes soft and vulnerable. “You didn’t?”
“No,” Reed said, stepping closer to her. “It meant a lot to me.”
Too much.
His heart beat harder at her closeness, hammering in his chest as feelings crashed over him. Too many feelings. One he didn’t dare name because, after his divorce, he’d vowed to never feel it again.
She nodded. “Me, too.”
Then she pushed a hand through her tousled black hair. “And maybe that’s crazier than…”
“Than what?”
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
Even if she stayed, he had nothing to offer her. Nothing but one more night.
“It matters. You matter. I hate to see you leave,” he confessed.
A smile touched her lips. “I can’t say I’ll miss the island.”
Just like his ex.
She added, “Maybe if the circumstances had been different…”
If they’d been different people, with different pasts, different presents…
“I’m going to sleep in the nursery tonight,” she said. “I just came back in here to pack.”
But she didn’t move toward the closet. Instead she moved toward him, sliding her arms around his neck. “But I will miss you, Reed.”
Her fingers on his nape pulled his head down till his lips met hers. He tasted salt from the tears she’d shed. Alone. He shouldn’t have left her alone to read the letter. He wouldn’t leave her alone again tonight.
“Sasha…” Her name slipped out of his lips on a groan. He’d never wanted anyone like he wanted her, not even his ex-wife. His hands, shaking with the force of his desire for her, slid up her back, pressing her closer, as he deepened their kiss.
She shuddered and moaned his name, sliding her lips from his. “I should be packing,” she said, even as her fingers clutched at his hair.
He cupped her face, searching her eyes for her true feelings. Did she want him to leave her…like this? But he’d never been able to guess at a woman’s emotions and had vowed never to trust another one with his.
“What do you want, Sasha?” he asked.
“You, Reed.”
F
or one more night.
She didn’t add those words, but they both knew that was all they’d have…because she was leaving. Despite his efforts to protect his heart, he knew it would still hurt when she was gone.
And if he doubted her words, her actions told him how she felt as she tore the buttons on his shirt free and pushed it from his shoulders. “Make love to me, Reed.”
His control snapped, and he discarded her clothes just as impatiently until she stood before him, gloriously naked. Then he had to catch his breath as it struggled to escape his lungs in a deep groan. The lamplight cast shadows on her pale skin, on the hollows and the lush curves. Her gorgeous hair lay in a gleaming ebony cloud around her shoulders, stray locks brushing over the tips of her breasts. “You are so beautiful.”
Her eyes dilated, the blue becoming just a brilliant rim around the black pupils. “You’re not so bad yourself, Sheriff,” she said as her gaze skimmed over his bare chest. Then she reached for his belt, unclasping it before pushing down his jeans.
His erection strained against his knit boxers until she pushed those down, too. Then she dropped to her knees, staring up at him as she closed her lips around the tip of him.
“Sasha,” he groaned, his fingers tangling in her hair. He intended to lift her up, but the slide of her mouth along his erection weakened his knees. “Sasha…”
This wasn’t what he’d intended. He’d wanted to make this a night she wouldn’t forget…so she wouldn’t forget him when she went home. But instead of slow and gentle, she’d unleashed him. Slow and gentle were the last things on his mind or what was left of it.
When she finally slid her lips free, he lifted her and tossed her onto the bed so hard that she nearly bounced. A flicker of remorse burned in him, but then she giggled. He hadn’t heard that since she’d arrived on the island, hadn’t seen as carefree a smile as the one that graced her mouth.
“My turn,” he growled as he followed her down. His lips touched hers, briefly tasting her smile, before skimming down her throat where her pulse beat madly. For him. For what he was about to do to her. And he intended to do everything to make her writhe and moan.
And never forget him.
He teased one breast with the tip of his tongue, laving circles around the nipple while his fingers played with the hardened tip of her other breast, caressing and caressing as she squirmed beneath him.
“Reed…”
“Do you want this?” he asked, as he touched his tongue to the nipple before suckling it into his mouth.
She bucked on the bed, pressing her hips against him. “Reed…”
He anointed the other breast with wet kisses before trailing his tongue down her navel, dipping in once, twice, before slipping farther down her body.
“Reed…”
He slid his palms along her thighs, so silky against his skin. So creamy. Then he trailed his fingers to the heart of her, driving her up, so that she shuddered and thrashed her head against the pillows.
Feeling her heat, her wetness made him greedy for more, and he replaced his fingers with his mouth, so that he could taste her intimately.
“Reed!” she screamed his name as she came apart in his arms. “Reed!”
He barely had enough control left to don protection before he drove into her. Barely had enough control left to drive her into sobbing ecstasy before he reached his own, shouting out her name as he crashed back to reality in her arms. And still he wanted more, wanted it to never end.
But in the morning she was leaving. He rolled to his side, pulling her tight against him. Tonight she wouldn’t slip from his arms unnoticed.
She laid her head on his shoulder, then pressed a kiss against his skin. “Thank you,” she said.
He lifted a brow, too exhausted from their lovemaking to understand her gratitude. And as for that, he should be thanking her.
“For letting me read the evidence.” She blew out a shaky breath. “It’s good to know that she loved me.”
Reed was afraid it was an emotion he echoed. How could he let Sasha leave?
Chapter Twelve
The phone rang, jolting Sasha from the only real sleep she’d had since Reed had called to tell her that Nadine was dead. She fumbled with the receiver, bringing it to her ear for the monotonous rhythm of the dial tone. But the phone kept ringing.
“Your cell,” a deep voice mumbled in her ear. “It’s your cell.”
She dropped the receiver and found her cell phone. Before hitting the talk button, she settled back against the warmth of Reed’s hard body, grateful for his presence. If only he’d been with her when she’d first learned of Nadine’s death…less than a week ago.
Had it really been just a week since she’d met him? It felt longer, like always. She’d never connected with anyone on the levels she connected with Reed, not even Charles, and she’d known him for years.
“Hello,” she murmured into the phone.
“Sasha, I hope it’s not too late. We called your house earlier today and got your message. Then I nearly forgot to call…what with the time change and everything.”
“Mom.”
Reed pulled her closer, squeezing her shoulder in silent support.
“Where are you, sweetheart? It’s gotta be late now in Michigan.”
There was so much she needed to tell her parents, but she didn’t know where to begin.
“Where are you, Mom?”
“California. It’s so beautiful.” Her mother sighed, the sound soft and full of happiness. “The weather is perfect, just perfect.”
Perfect. Nothing would be perfect for her mother, not once Sasha shared the horrible news. “I have to tell you something, Mom.”
But God, she wished she didn’t have to. She wished her twin were still alive.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Concern replaced the happiness in her mother’s soft voice.
“It’s Nadine, Mom.”
Her mother sucked in a quick breath. “I didn’t think you two had talked since after the…well, what’s she done to you now?”
Turned her world upside down. But none of that was Nadine’s fault. Her killer was to blame. “Mom, I wish I didn’t have to tell you this. Nadine’s dead.”
Tears slid down Sasha’s face as she listened to her mother’s broken sobs.
Then her father took the phone. “What’s happened, Sasha? Your mother’s crying.”
“Nadine’s dead, Dad.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Tell Mom that she has a granddaughter. Nadine has a beautiful daughter. I’m here with her, with Annie.” And Reed. And although every instinct screamed that she shouldn’t be, she was glad he was with her, arms wrapped tightly around her. “We’re on Sunset Island. Do you know where that is?”
“Yes, of course. We’d always intended to take you girls up there when you were little.” His voice, always so deep and steady, cracked with emotion.
Closing her eyes, she could picture him, hair prematurely gray, deep lines bracketing his mouth and the corners of his blue eyes, which had to be filled with shock.
His voice shook as he went on, “But we could never get enough time off work.”
Because of their jobs, they’d never been able to travel, as they’d wanted to when they were young. Sasha had been happy when they’d bought the motor home and finally realized their dream. But this, this news, had to be their worst nightmare.
Losing a child…like she’d almost lost Annie the day before.
Her father cleared his throat. “Honey, we’ll leave right now. Maybe we can park the motor home somewhere and get a flight back there today.”
“But Dad—”
“We have a granddaughter? We really have a grand daughter?” His breath shuddered out. “I can’t believe…”
“She’s two, Dad. And she’s so beautiful.” A soft breath sighed through the baby monitor sitting on the bedside table. “So sweet.”
“Nadine was a mother?”
“Everyone says she was a
good one. And from how healthy and happy Annie is, I know that she was, Dad.” Such a good mother that she had returned from the dead to protect her child from the person who had killed her.
But Sasha couldn’t share that belief with anyone, not her parents, not Reed. Or they’d all think she’d gone crazy.
“And the father?” he asked, his voice full of a father’s grief in the loss of his child.
Sasha didn’t know who Annie’s father was, but she couldn’t tell her dad that. Why hadn’t Nadine revealed that in the letter? Then she remembered, She should have been yours. Maybe Nadine had told her.
“She left her to me, Dad. I’m her legal guardian.”
“That’s good. You’re so good with kids.”
With teenagers. She had no clue how she would raise a toddler on her own and keep her job. But she wouldn’t give Annie up, not even to her parents. They’d struggled to raise two children already. She didn’t want them to struggle anymore. And Nadine had left Annie to her, had trusted her with the child. Sasha wouldn’t let her down, not again.
“Your mother will want to see her.” He sighed again. “So do I. We’ll find a flight to Sunset Island.”
“There isn’t an airport on the island, Dad. But don’t worry about getting here. I’m coming home—” she glanced at the illuminated dial of the clock on Nadine’s bedside table “—today.”
He released a ragged sigh. “We can probably get a plot for her…for Nadine…in the same cemetery your grandma’s in, in Grand Rapids.”
“No, Dad.” Even with the third page of the letter missing, Sasha knew Nadine would have wanted her ashes spread on Sunset Island. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay, honey…” And then his voice, always so strong and sure, broke again as he dissolved into ragged sobs.
“Oh, Daddy,” Sasha said, her heart breaking with her father’s over the death of his daughter.
Reed pressed a kiss on the top of her head, his encircling arms holding her tight to his chest. Although she appreciated his presence, he couldn’t take away her pain. She was sure that, in the end, he would only add to it.
REED HAD NEVER BEEN so personally involved in a case. Every part of it tore out another piece of his soul. Sasha’s tears, as she’d told her parents about Nadine’s death, had been torture for him, like someone shooting off his kneecaps. God, he would have preferred the physical pain to listening to her weep and not being able to stop her tears.
