“Don't touch me,” Vera jerked back from him so hard she stumbled back. “Don't touch me!”
“Vera, calm down.” Susan spoke up. “Look, he's stepping back. See?” She glared at Deacon until he did just that.
“I'm not going to touch you,” the words just about killed Deacon to say. He held his hands up in the air. “I know that you must be scared but...”
“No,” Vera's head shook rapidly. “No, you don't know shit. You don't know...”
“I do know, Vera, I feel it.” Deacon kept his hands up but took half a step closer to her. “I can explain everything.”
“Was it you? Was it you in my apartment? Was it you who attacked me?” Her voice was rising, bordering on hysterical and Deacon knew that there was no way this was going to end well.
The question cut him to the core, even as scared as she must be, how could she think that he would ever scare her like that? Maybe because he'd scared her before, he flashed back to nearly ravaging her in the middle of her shop. It was all so fucked up. He didn't think that he could take it. “No, Vera, I would never hurt you. Ever.”
“I want to go home, now. Susan, will you take me home? Please.”
“I've got a better idea,” Susan told her. “Let's go upstairs and get dressed, I'm sure something of Adelaide's will fit you.”
“Vera...” Deacon tried to speak to her again and she flinched at the sound of his voice. Susan gave him a look that said he needed to shut up and maybe she was right, but how could he just stand there and watch her be so terrified of him?
In the end he just stood there, watched Susan walk Vera up the stairs as if she were an invalid or child, and knew that who he was just might have cost him the woman he was meant to spent the rest of his life with.
Chapter FOURTEEN
Vera didn't remember getting dressed or leaving Deacon's house, but she knew that she had. Susan had been there. Susan had helped her. Now they were standing in front of New to You. “Not sure that this is the best idea, Vera.”
“This is my shop and home. If I don't go in now, I might never. All I want is to take a shower in my bathroom.” She needed to shower, to wash the scent of Deacon off of her skin and then maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to think clearly.
Her mind was a mass of confusion, several times on the drive she'd nearly told Susan to turn the truck around and take her back, because the farther that they got away the more nervous she became.
“Alright,” Susan still looked skeptical.
“I get why you're nervous but I've got to do this. Maybe we should get a weapon.” Vera frowned as Susan chuckled at that. “What? I can do some damage with a tire iron.”
“We don't need a tire iron. Come on, if you're so set on going in. If there's anyone in there, stay behind me.”
“Anything,” Vera corrected. “That was a thing, not a man.” Just like Deacon was apparently a thing and not a man. The thought made her head ache. “When did you turn all badass by the way? Aren't you scared?”
“Of course I'm scared,” Susan replied; there was the first hint of annoyance in her voice. “That doesn't mean that I can't handle it if a situation arises.”
“What's that supposed to mean? How?” Vera demanded. “And why haven't you said anything about what we saw? His hand wasn't a hand. It was a claw, a fucking claw. Wait a minute, you knew! You knew that he was... a thing.” She hated thinking of Deacon in terms like that, but what else was she supposed to call him? Was there even a word?
“Not a thing,” Susan spoke sharply, “he's still Deke, he bleeds just like anyone else. He has feelings, hopes and dreams. He is not an animal, thing, or it.”
“He had a claw for his hand.” Vera repeated, the image was seared into her mind. Never again would she be able to shut her eyes and not see the claw just like the one that the thing that had broken into her house had used to touch her. “A claw!”
“Lower your voice, people are going to think that you're crazy.” Susan hissed the words. “If you want to have this conversation, we should go inside.”
“Fine by me,” Vera snapped. “And quite honestly, I'm feeling like I really don't even know you at all.”
“Maybe you don't,” Susan replied, “but rest assured, you're about to.”
Vera wondered what that meant but didn't ask as they stepped inside. She turned off the alarm and looked around. Nothing seemed out of place but the general vibe of the room was wrong. It would never be the same again. She'd always see it through the fear that she'd felt that night. For the first time in a long time the idea of leaving Center City crossed her mind. She could leave the attack and everything else behind, start fresh somewhere that no one knew her, somewhere far away from Deacon Hawke.
Pain shot through her chest as the idea developed more in her mind. It was suddenly seriously hard to breathe. She gasped in a deep breath and got Susan's attention. “Okay. Easy. Vera, focus. Focus on me. On my voice. Vera!”
Vera heard fear in her friend’s voice. She turned, desperate to sit. She collapsed in the nearest chair—it made her think of the chair she'd sold Deacon. Every thought turned back to him. The mere suggestion in her mind that she leave him caused her physical pain. Her chest had never been so tight, this was beyond anything that she'd ever felt. In that moment Vera realized that she was more likely than not dying.
The edges of her vision began to darken, images became blurry and all there was in the world was the rapid thump of her heart. A sharp slap to her face roused her before she could slide beneath the surface. “Wake up, Vera, now. Breathe in deep and slow through your nose and out your mouth.”
It was Susan's doctor voice, Vera recognized the tone, but underneath there was also panic. It took several moments before she trusted herself to try to speak. “I'm good. I'm...” Vera gripped her hands into the arms of the chair. “I just... I just need... I can't need him! I can't want him this badly!”
“I'm going to try to help you understand, but I need you to give me your word that no matter what, you keep it to yourself or there will be repercussions for me.”
The serious expression on Susan's face made Vera's stomach clench tightly. “Alright, I give my word that no matter what you say I'll keep it to myself.” She could keep a secret, always had been able to.
“You got any liquor? I need a drink before I start.”
“Upstairs,” Vera swallowed hard. “It's more private up there, too.” The staircase was right there in front of her, but she didn't step forward, not yet. She was pretty sure that she'd never walk up those stairs without remembering what happened next. The thing that had attacked her had ruined it, it would never feel safe.
“Are you going to be okay going up there?”
“There's only one way to find out for sure.” Vera rose to her feet, with every step towards the stairs she relived a moment of the attack; all of the attack, things that she knew she'd forgotten sprang to mind as she moved up the stairs. By the time that she pushed the apartment door open she'd remembered one thing for sure. The thing had remarkable blue eyes. They weren't Deacon's eyes.
“Keep breathing,” Susan advised from behind her, and then they were fully in the apartment.
“It wasn't Deke,” Vera felt a sense of relief was over her like rain washing away a brutally hot day. “He didn't attack me. The thing had blue eyes. He doesn't have blue eyes.”
“Of course he didn't,” Susan shut the door behind her and turned the lock. “He's madly in love with you, Vera. The two of you share what is known as empathy, you're so connected you each can feel the other.”
“What? That's impossible, Susan.”
“I can see why you would say that, but I assure you, it's possible. I'm going to have to ask you to take me at my word, believe what I say and it will all make sense if you just trust me.”
“I trust you,” Vera rubbed her hands over her arms; she couldn't even look at the bed. One of the first things she needed to do was get a new mattress and box spring if she was going to st
ay here. Finally she settled down on the chaise lounge she had against one wall. “Tell me more.”
“The empathy exists because you're his life mate and he is yours. It's true there's more to him than you knew, but it doesn't make him bad. He's one of the best people I've ever met.” Susan sat down near the foot of the bed. “He's also a werewolf, or Lycan, either term is appropriate, and he's been like that since the day that he was born.”
“That's not...” Vera bit back on saying possible. It wasn't possible, none of it was, except that deep down there was a part of her that realized it made perfect sense. For the past few days she'd been overrun with emotions, emotions which didn't match her mood, but they had perfectly matched what Deacon was feeling. Why was it so hard to believe that there were people with secrets she could have never imagined? “How can that be true and no one knows? How can there be another world right under the nose of the one I live in?”
“The secret is kept, carried down generation by generation with the help of trusted friends. It is not like in the movies, it is a way of life.” Susan removed her shoes. “How long have we been friends for, Vera?”
“A little over two years, why?” The change of subject threw her off balance. She wanted to ask more about how such a secret was kept. How was it that no one had ever blabbed? Questions piled up in her mind; this was supposed to make her less confused, not more.
“Am I a threat to you? Are you scared of me in any way?”
“A little nervous at the questions but no, not scared.” If anything, Vera felt a sudden sort of anticipation running through her. She watched Susan stretch her legs out, get comfortable. What the hell was going on?
“Good, hold on to that feeling.” Susan advised. The air around her suddenly began to shimmer, it was a warm soft glow that rolled over and around her legs. Vera blinked several times as she watched Susan's feet begin to blur, there was a glimpse of fur and then with an audible pop her lower legs were gone.
Paws replaced her feet, thick black fur moved up the calf to just below the still very human knees. “What the fuck?” Vera finally managed to say something. “You have paws! Paws! Bear paws!” Suddenly it was really hard to breathe again, really hard. “Fuck.”
“Are you scared of me?”
“I...” Vera realized that she wasn't. “No, I'm not.” She was more curious than anything else and of course freaked out but not scared. And if she wasn't scared of Susan, maybe, just maybe, she didn't need to be scared of Deacon.
“Why not?” Susan questioned, a small smile on her face.
“I... I don't know. I can still see you. I can hear your voice. I know it's you.” Vera eased off of the lounge. “Does it hurt you?”
“This doesn't hurt, it's a little bit of a bitch to hold only my feet and legs changed, though. Fully changing is painful, very painful, but you become accustomed to it.”
“If Deke is a werewolf or Lycan, what does that make you?” Vera couldn't tear her eyes away from Susan's legs. Unable to resist the urge, she reached out. Her fingers brushed over the fur; it was softer than she'd thought it would be.
“You would call me a Shifter. I have the ability to take the shape of anything. I just happen to relate to the bear. I go crazy once in a while, choose something else.”
“VERA!” A shout from downstairs made her jump and apparently snapped Susan's control. Her feet returned and she got to them with a sigh.
“That's Houdini,” Susan frowned at the door as footsteps sounded on the stairs. “I'll get rid of him.”
“No, wait.” Vera got up as well. “Is he... does he change?” She ran her hand nervously over her shirt. “I mean, is he...”
“That's a really personal question, you'll have to ask him.” Susan stopped with her hand on the lock. “Should I let him in?”
“Yes,” Vera replied, a flurry of nerves burst to life in her stomach but she swallowed them down. Houdini was her friend, he'd never been anything but nice to her. There was no reason she should believe that he would hurt her. “Let him come up, he's cool.”
“If you say so,” Susan unlocked the door and went downstairs.
Vera rubbed her fingers over her temples. The dull ache between her eyes was only growing worse as she tried to organize and make sense of everything that Susan had said. There were still so many questions that she didn't have answers for and even more questions from what Susan had told her.
Moments later, Susan returned with Houdini in tow. He looked almost out of place in the room, he was taller than both women. “Hey,” he looked in her direction. “You okay?”
“I am, I'm confused, but I'm okay. I've just got a lot of questions.”
“I bet you do,” Houdini moved over to settle down on the floor, he leaned back against the wall. “The shit that went down this morning was rough, but you can't be too hard on Deke, Vera. Trust me, that wasn't the way that he wanted you to find out about him. He was trying real hard to keep control around you.”
“So, Deke can also control the change. If that's the case, what happened earlier? Why did his claws emerge?”
“I think I know the answer to that,” Houdini cleared his throat and looked between the two women. “Josiah and his guys, The Grievers, are ruthless. Actually, that's probably too mild a term. I know Deke, he lost control at the idea of that evil fuckhead being anywhere near you, Vera.”
“I bet he's right, I saw how protective he was of you,” Susan volunteered. “When you were out he wouldn't leave you for any reason.”
“So yeah, they're bad news. Bad news for the town. Bad news for everyone.” He looked grim.
Vera decided to lighten the subject, maybe change was a better word than lighten. “So Houdini, can I ask what you change into? Or is that too rude?”
“It's not rude. And I don't have an animal inside of me, though sometimes I wish that I did,” he shifted, removed his gun from his holster and laid it on the floor. “What?” He questioned when Susan glared at him. “I'm not taking any chances.”
Vera found comfort in the gun though she wasn't sure why. Was that Deacon's feelings bleeding through to her again? The thought made her brain hurt even more. She was more confused than she had been to begin with, now instead of just imagining what Susan was saying was true, she had actual physical proof. Her hand hurt from clutching at the fur that had come off in her palm when she stroked the bear.
“You okay?” Houdini questioned. “I remember when I found out, I swore someone slipped me some acid or something. And they took it easy on me, they had...”
“That was you?” Susan questioned; she laughed loud and hard. “Oh God, I've heard this story. You fainted when Steven turned into a bunny. Oh man, it's so much worse than I imagined because you're all big and strong looking.”
“I didn't faint,” Houdini shook his head as Susan doubled over in laughter. “I got dizzy, had to sit down, but I didn't faint.”
“He fainted,” Susan sat up and wiped tears from underneath her eyes.
Vera laughed along with them. She was certain Houdini had fainted. The image was hysterical, and she realized that she'd needed the laugh, that connection between friends. It was easier to breathe, her chest wasn't quite so tight. “Don't feel too bad, Houdini, I fainted and went into a coma-like state for half a day.”
“I still don't understand why. Fear is a powerful thing but I don't know why you weren't up sooner.”
“If you don't know, I sure as hell don't. I remembered a little more of what happened, though, before I passed out. It wasn't Deke and I accused him of it,” Vera pressed her hands against her forehead, “fuck me.”
“He's not going to blame you for freaking out a little, Vera, he's not that sort of guy.”
“She's right,” Houdini agreed. “You'll see once you talk to him.”
“You can let him know without saying a word,” Susan added. “All that you've got to do is use the connection between you, the empathy. I figure that you'll probably feel better too.”
“I do
n't know how to use the empathy thing, I don't understand it. How can I use it?”
“It's within you, you can figure it out. Just give it a try Vera, it's not going to hurt to try.” Susan urged. “Close your eyes and just think about Deke. Try to feel him.”
Vera exhaled deeply, felt beyond stupid as she closed her eyes. Her mind was a mass of swirling thoughts, each threatened to distract her completely but somehow she managed to focus on one person, on Deacon. She tried to send the way she was feeling, scared and sorry. Not scared of him, though—no, scared because she wasn't with him. Nothing in the world seemed right, which terrified her even more. Vera reached out as best she could but there was nothing coming back, nothing at all, not even the confusing feelings that she'd been experiencing for the past few days.
She waited, hoped to feel something from him in response, but there was nothing. The feelings she had been feeling from him, well, they weren't there any longer either. She wasn't sure when they'd stopped, she'd been so focused on being open. Vera felt tears burn her eyes. “I don't think it worked, Susan. Maybe I should just try the cell phone.”
Chapter FIFTEEN
“Something tells me this isn't a social call,” Deacon looked up at Will Brothers with a sigh. “And I'm kind of in the middle of something.” Something may or may not have been the bottle of whiskey on the table next to him.
After Vera and Susan had left, he'd lost it. Most of the house was torn apart. He'd broken things that he now regretted breaking, like the music box his grandfather had given his grandmother, who'd in turn given it to his mother, but in the moment there had only been rage. Red, roaring rage. He'd even took a swing or two at Houdini when he'd come back from his run.
Eventually he'd calmed down or maybe just become exhausted. He'd stepped around the debris, grabbed the bottle and headed outside to the wooden gliders on the porch. Deacon was glad that he hadn't broken those. The last thing he wanted was to see Will Brothers.
The Only Witness: The Center City Series: Book One Page 13
