Houdini and Susan were also smiling. Some of the tension from the long ride was starting to blow away with the fresh air, and for that he was glad. In only a few days everything had changed. He had an identification in his pocket with his face and another name. James Church. He didn't think he'd ever feel like a James Church.
It was going to be an adjustment for all of them. Deacon couldn't help but wonder if they'd survive the sheer stress of it. He felt like he was crawling out of his skin and then knew what would make him feel better. He needed to run, to change and to run. A look at Susan told him that she felt the same way. She didn't open her mouth either.
“Why don't the two of you check out the woods?” Vera suggested. “Houdini can carry the stuff in and I'll check out the inside, get us settled the best I can with what we have.”
“You sure?” Deacon asked with the hope that she was and would say yes. If she wasn't, he would stay with her.
“Positive, now get out of here, we've got work to do.”
“You up for it?” Deacon looked over at Susan who nodded. “We'll just be a few hours, I'll run into town and grab something for dinner.”
“I think the humans can handle a run into town. We're going to need a lot of stuff, basic stuff to be comfortable.”
“Get what we need,” Deacon told her. “Use some of the money from my bag.”
“Nope,” Vera replied. “I've got money. Now go before we change our minds.”
Deacon didn't need to be told twice. “Keep an eye on her,” he told Houdini. “You ready, Susan?”
“I'll race you,” she said, already starting to run towards the tree line.
It was one of the best changes Deacon ever had, once he felt his paws hit the ground he didn't have another thought for maybe hours after. All that mattered was the run, the thrill of chasing new scents. He found a small stream, and evidence of several abandoned houses that had been taken back from nature. One day he'd bring Vera out here and show them to her.
They would make this place their home. These were the woods where he'd teach their kids how to camp and survive, just as his father had taught him. The idea of a family with her was a new one, suddenly in the front of his mind and backed by a feeling of urgency he couldn't explain.
When day faded to dusk, he threw his head back and howled to signal Susan it was time to return. He couldn't force her to come with him, but the sooner that she dealt with Houdini the better it was going to be for all of them. Deacon could only hope that his two friends would figure out a way to make it work, because if they didn't it could end up killing them all.
<#<#>#>#>#
“Somehow I thought that we'd be having this conversation as a group,” Deacon looked across the bedroom to where Vera was brushing her hair. He had the ointment out, ready to treat her wound. It would be a ritual for them now, morning, night and every time in between. The more ointment they got into her, the better.
“Would you rather be having this conversation as a group?” Vera met his eyes in the mirror. She'd been quiet since they’d returned from the run; she and Houdini had obviously been busy, because the fridge and cabinets were fully stocked, there were sheets on the bed and towels in the bathroom.
“Not really,” he admitted. “I don't even know where to start. Why don't you tell me what you're most curious about, and we'll start from there?” Long talks had never been his strong suit, he preferred to think of himself as the strong and silent type, but that wasn't going to cut it, not here and not now. Vera deserved answers, and he'd give them to her with the hope that there was nothing she couldn't handle. He didn't know what he would do if there was. It wasn't like either of them could back out now.
“Everything,” Vera placed the brush down on the dresser and turned to face him. She was fresh out of the shower, wet hair and glistening skin. “Just give it to me straight, Deke. I already told you that I'm in it for the long haul. Just no more lies.”
“When did I lie to you?” He sat up straighter on the bed, his brows furrowed together.
“About Graham,” Vera replied.
“What about Graham?” He quickly searched his mind for anything to do with Graham and came up blank. The man wasn't a friend. He was essentially a boil on the ass of Center City, piss drunk more often than he was sober and often angry.
“I saw what happened that night, Deke. I was watching from my window, the only witness to what you did.”
“What I did? What the hell are you talking about, Vera? The last time that I saw him was at The Bar, just like I told Chief Will.”
“I know what I saw,” she kept her voice even but he could tell that it took her effort. He could feel the way that her emotions were bouncing around.
“I don't know what you think you saw, who you saw, but it wasn't me.” Deacon pushed with his mind against her, trying to get some clue as to what she was thinking or feeling. “Vera?”
“I saw you,” Vera sighed. “I heard a bike, heard someone in the lot, so I looked out and I saw everything. I saw you.”
“You didn't see me,” he shook his head. The story that he'd given Chief Will had been only half bullshit. He'd been at the warehouse but not watching a movie with the guys, they'd actually been dealing with a shipment of stolen cell phones to be sold to a guy Master knew in England. It had made them a nice profit with very little effort.
“Deke, please. All I'm asking is for the truth, I'm sorry if that's too much but don't fucking lie to me. I watched you pull the trigger.” She never took her eyes off of him as she spoke, her expression serious.
He realized that she believed every word she said, believed he'd killed Graham Caldwell before her eyes. She didn't believe what he was saying, even though it was the truth. He couldn't get a read on her with their shared empathy, and he was trying. The ease with which she could block him out pissed him off more than the accusation. “You saw my face? This face?” Deacon was off of the bed, anger buzzing so loudly through his body that he wondered if she could hear it.
“You had on a black leather jacket, dark jeans and the gun was chrome plated, glinted in the security light at the edge of the lot. He was begging. He was pathetic and you pulled the trigger. Silenced shot, but it felt like I heard it.”
“It wasn't me. Don't you trust me?”
“I should trust you more than my own eyes? I watched Deke!”
“So you keep saying, I'm saying that it wasn't me. Can't you feel it?”
“When you came the next day, I thought it was because of what I saw. I thought that you were there to kill me. I almost ran.”
“I wasn't there to kill you. Jesus Christ, Vera.”
“I said I thought that, not I think it now. Even then, after a while I knew that you wouldn't hurt me, no matter what you were capable of.”
“There's blood on my hands, Vera, but not Graham Caldwell's blood.” Deacon hissed the words as he threw up a block of his own. If she opened to the empathy again he didn't want her to feel his rage. Even while she stood before him, doubting him, he'd rather cut off his own hand than scare her.
“You know what? I don't give a fuck what you did, but I do that you're lying to me despite what I saw with my own eyes. I'm not continuing this conversation. I think it's probably best that I just go and sleep in the downstairs bedroom.”
“Houdini's room? I don't fucking think so.”
“Please, Houdini isn't going to sleep down there. It's the size of a shitty walk-in closet. I think he'd have to stoop down to stand inside.” Vera crossed her arms over her chest. “I'm smaller, I'll fit fine.”
“No, you're not sleeping downstairs. No way. No way in hell.”
“I'm not going to stand here and fight with you all night, Deke. I know what I saw.”
“Alright, take me through it. Step by step. Tell me about that night.” Deacon clenched his hands into fists to keep the urge to grab her and shake her at bay.
“It was a normal night. I closed up the shop, had dinner and some wine. I was reading on
my tablet so I had all of the lights off.” Vera exhaled. “It was a romance novel, trashy and full of sex. I was enjoying it, it was distracting me from my mood.”
“What was your mood?”
“I was pissed,” Vera replied. “I'd gone to Rose's for lunch, saw you outside of your office with one of those girls, and it pissed me off. Guess I had a little bit of a crush on you, though crush sounds so teenage girl.”
“Wait,” Deacon interrupted, “you had a crush on me? Why didn't you ever tell me that?”
“It never really came up in conversation,” Vera replied.
“So, it's safe to say that I was on your mind that night?” Deacon wanted to push her about not telling him but held back. There were bigger issues at hand than her telling him how she felt about him before they were together. It was just a sharp reminder to him how little they actually knew about one another despite the fact that they were mated and married.
“Yeah, it's safe to say.” Vera managed a smile. “When I heard the bike, I had this fleeting thought that it was you coming to see me. Then the bike was idling outside for a few minutes and I had to look.”
“Did you turn on the light?”
“No, I was all stealth mode. I heard Graham, complaining that this wasn't the deal or what he signed up for. Something along those lines. He was frantic, frightened. That's when I recognized you.”
“How did you recognize me?”
“The way that you moved, your height and build. I could see your hair, well what wasn't covered by the hat.”
“What kind of hat?”
“A baseball hat.”
“A baseball hat? Baby, can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead, ask.”
“When is the last time that you saw me in a baseball hat? Have you ever?”
“I...” she paused. Deacon knew that it was the right question to ask as her face turned even more serious. Finally she spoke, her voice unsteady. “I can't remember ever having seen you in a baseball cap.”
“You still haven't. It wasn't me. Tell me what happened next.”
“Graham kept arguing. Things went downhill. And then you…he pulled out a gun and... well, that was the end of Graham arguing. An SUV pulled up a few minutes later and then the body was gone and I went to bed. I didn't sleep much, though.”
“I bet you didn't,” Deacon moved closer to her. “And the next day when I came to the shop, you were scared of me.” It bothered him more than he'd ever admit to her, especially when remembering how he'd approached her. He'd been pissed to find the shop closed after he'd gotten only a few hours of sleep and taken time out of doing his work to get Adelaide her present. The note he left had been terse at best, and when they'd finally spoken he knew that he'd been an ass.
“At first, not for long, though. I'm sorry. I thought it was... I...” She was shaking as she spoke, her whole body trembling. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are we okay?”
“We're okay.” He heard the need for assurance in her voice, saw it in her eyes. Inside she had to be a bundle of nerves but even now that she was starting to see the truth she was still closed off to him.
“There's a lot that we don't know about each other, Deke,” Vera pointed out. “Everything happened so fast between us, there wasn't time for anything but what was going on. And then we were on the run, getting married and leaving with just one bag. It's a lot that's happened and a lot that's happening. If the treatment doesn't work...”
“Vera, it's going to work.”
“You can't know that! You don't know that! No one knows what's going to happen, no one! We've got to face the facts, it can go either way. I need to know that if it goes badly, you'll be okay.”
“No, I won't be. I can not lose you. I will not. I'll put that ointment on your skin every hour on the hour if I have to. You're right, this all happened fast. Our empathy helped with that, let us trust one another without really knowing one another. We can fix that, it's just going to take us a little time.”
“I should have believed you straight away, I'm sorry that I didn't. So sorry. It won't happen again.” Vera moved over to the bed, sat and dropped her head down.
Deacon walked around the bed, knelt down before her. “You don't need to keep apologizing,” he stopped her with a kiss before she could say anything else. “I said we're good and we are. I grew up hearing about a connection like this, it was told to me so many times it took on the same quality as Santa Claus, and then it happened with us. I can't even imagine not knowing about it and then one day figuring out that someone is in your head and your heart. You could have run, have told me that it was crazy, but you didn't.”
“I love you, Deke.”
“I know you do, and I love you. Look, it's sort of backwards but we need to get to know one another, figure out what we don't know and make sure we know it. I think that if we don't, the empathy won't be enough. I don't want that. I want you. I need you.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” she replied, her hand coming up to touch the side of his face. “I think it's a really good idea, though. Should we start now?”
“You up for more talking tonight?” He wasn't looking for a way out of the long overdue talk, but he could see the toll that stress was taking on the woman he loved. She was paler than normal, dark circles under her soulful brown eyes, and she had the general air of exhaustion about her.
“I want to know everything, Deke. I need to know everything, because I've got the feeling The Strays aren't too keen on people stepping out of line. I've been reading the stuff that Lina gave us, the rules in particular are...” Vera swallowed hard.
She was scared by what she'd read of the rules, Deacon nearly sighed with relief as he felt what she was feeling brush against him. He opened himself to her and immediately felt stronger and calmer. Now it was time to return the favor, calm her. “Some are antiquated,” Deke brought his hand up to stroke the side of her face, “but they still stand. They're taken seriously. Breaking the rules has consequences, swift and brutal consequences for some.”
“Death.” Vera shut her eyes at his touch. “Did Susan know about that before she vouched for Houdini?”
“Yes, there aren't many in our community who don't know the rules. They're not secret.” Deacon sighed. “And if they were to find out that Houdini and Susan weren't actually together when she said so...” he trailed off. It would be a death offense for both of them.
“The rules seem very pro-children. Are kids are expected?”
“Not expected, encouraged. It's the best way to keep the bloodlines going. Each generation more and more families die out. There are less of us now than there were twenty years ago. Only a fraction of what there were a hundred years ago.”
“So essentially they're trying to stop the extinction of your kind?”
“In a way. They're not concerned about the other packs. They're on the outside and they don't want to be back inside. They've been great to us, treated us well and offered us a place with them when we needed it the most, but that doesn't mean that they're warm and fuzzy or that this came without a price.”
“I was afraid of that,” Vera shut her eyes. “Tell me.”
“I would if I could,” Deacon slid his hands onto her thighs. “I don't know what they'll ask of us, but whatever it is, we do it. And if they call on us again in a year, we do it. We do what it takes to protect the group.”
“What have they asked people to do? Do you know that?”
“I've heard stories,” he replied. “Not from Strays but from those who said that they were victims.”
“I don't really want to hear those stories, do I?”
“No,” Deacon replied honestly. “If there had been more time to make the choice, I'd have told you everything. Let you choose what you wanted to do fully informed.”
“I'd have chosen to come with you, no matter what you told me.”
“I think that's enough talking for tonight. Go on and lay down, Vera, let me do your back and then you can get some
rest. You're tired.”
“I had something else in mind for after you did my back,” Vera replied, her tone innocent, her eyes were anything but. “However, if you'd rather sleep....”
Deacon cut off her next words with a kiss. His mouth covered hers, slow and sweet until she was relaxed against him. He was careful not to brush against her back, the scratches were nearly healed but still painful for her if she laid on her back.
They hadn't been together intimately since before the wedding. He would be a liar if he said that he wasn't suffering because of it. It seemed that he was in a permanent state of arousal these days. Right now he was painfully hard just from the kiss.
Vera's hands shifted to his shoulders. “Deke,” she was slightly out of breath as she broke the kiss.
“I know,” he pulled back with true regret. “Let me get the ointment, I'll do your back.”
“That's not what I was going to say,” her hands dug into his shoulders. “I was going to say that I'm pretty sure my back is healed enough for us to not stop.”
“I don't want to hurt you.”
“It won't hurt just as long as I'm not on my back. Something tells me that we can make that work.”
“Baby...”
“Forget I said anything,” equal measures of hurt and anger flashed through her eyes. “Just get the ointment.”
“Vera,” he wasn't going to be shut out, not again, not like this. “I'm just worried about hurting you. I couldn't stand it if I did. Don't think I don't want you or don't need you because...”
“Deacon.” Her use of his full name stopped him mid-sentence, she only called him Deke these days, unlike when they'd first become involved. “Shut up.”
“What?”
“Shut up. Kiss me and take me to bed. Please, don't make me have to beg.”
The Only Witness: The Center City Series: Book One Page 21
