by Megg Jensen
Ivy had changed since we left Tania’s house yesterday. Her natural smile was gone, replaced by a thin smirk. The biggest change was in her eyes. I could easily see the spark of gift in her blue eyes, but the real spark, the one that lit her entire face up when she smiled had gone and was replaced by a thin veneer. It didn’t seem real.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just worried about you.”
“Me?” Ivy laughed. “You’re worried about me? After all these years you are worried about me? I’ve spent most of my time with you worrying about how you feel.”
She sat up and faced me, a pout evident and her eyes narrowed.
“How’s Reychel feeling? Is she going to be upset that I went outside today? I feel so bad for her, stuck in the castle all by herself.” Ivy flailed her arms around in the air and moved her head from side to side. Her mocking tone hit me in the gut. She stopped moving, bent over, and looked me in the eyes. “Reychel, we’re free now. Get over yourself and stop acting like such a baby. Pretty soon you’ll be able to go outside whenever you want, talk to whoever you want, and do whatever you want.”
I rolled over and looked away as tears welled up in my eyes. Where did my friend go and who was the girl in the room with me?
“Everyone is still so worried about you,” Ivy continued. “Johna worries because you don’t know your gift. You worry because it’s going to be a few more days until you can go outside. Kandek is worried because his little friend is missing. Even Mark is worried about you.”
Ivy jumped out of the bed and began pacing.
“What about me? When is it time for someone to worry about me?” she asked.
“But everyone loves you,” I insisted, sitting up. “They always have. Johna let you stand behind the counter and told me to hide.”
“That’s because they’re looking for you,” she countered, her hands planted on her hips.
I had to change the topic and quick. This conversation wasn’t headed anywhere good and I couldn’t stand fighting with my only real friend. Time to change tactics.
“Mark wanted to know more about you,” I ventured.
Ivy stared at me, her eyes unfocused as she stared into the dimly lit room. That was it. Ivy was interested in Mark. Usually the guys were interested in Ivy, not the other way around. Of course I’d never seen her act this way. She didn’t know how to handle it anymore than I would.
“Do you think he likes me?” Ivy asked, settling back on the cot.
I relaxed as she snuggled into my shoulder, sighing. My friend was back.
Over the next few weeks, we settled into a routine. Each morning Ivy and I studied herbalism with Johna. We learned poppies should be gathered in the morning because the yield is higher than at night. We mixed periwinkle tea to ease sore throats and used aloe to ease the pain of cuts. Ivy was lucky enough to treat some of the villagers, but I always hid in the back room or under the counter if time was short. My eye color would give me away so I had no choice. I could change everything else about myself in an attempt to blend in, but not my eye color.
Most afternoons Mark stopped in to visit with us. His humor took some of the edge off of our situation. While my confinement had similar rules as my past as a servant, no visits outside and stay away from the windows, I felt freer than ever. Only one thing worried me – Kandek’s continuing search. According to Mark, the whole military was still looking for me. While they were no longer banging on the doors of unsuspecting villagers, they still had their eyes focused on the prize. Anyone who turned me in would be richly rewarded and the men involved would all receive promotions. I was deeply grateful that Mark wanted to get his promotions for his hard work, not for turning me in.
Ivy continued to moon over him every moment he was around. I thought it was funny, but felt a bit bad for her. It was obvious, at least to me, that Mark wasn’t interested in Ivy. He was perfectly nice to her, but didn’t fawn back. He didn’t bring her gifts or treat her any differently than he treated me. None of that stopped Ivy from sweet-talking Mark every time he glanced her way.
Some days I was afraid it all would have to come to an end. Eventually Johna would run out of things to teach us and send us away. I didn’t know if Ivy and I would manage to stay together or if we’d need to separate. I couldn’t bear the thought of heading off on my own and living among people without sharing the truth of who I was.
And who was I? All these weeks and I had yet to do anything out of the ordinary, much less something that indicated my hidden gift. I would have doubted these supposed powers, but Johna seemed so convinced that one day I would just know. I wasn’t the first to be in the dark and I wouldn’t be the last. Then there were days I didn’t even care because I had become so comfortable with my life here.
After a long day of grinding and mixing herbs, Ivy said she wasn’t feeling well and went to bed early. By the time I crawled in next to her, she was sound asleep. I stared out of hole in the shutters next to our cot. The world looked so peaceful, and acting impulsively for the first time in my life, I pulled on my wig, drew my cloak tightly around my shift and climbed out of the window into the night.
The dark sky glittered with a thousand stars, not a cloud in sight. I twirled around under the twinkling lights feeling something I’d never felt before. Safe, free and content. The air blew so crisp with a hint of lavender.
“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” I whispered.
“No,” a voice said, “not quite, but close.”
I jumped and whirled around, to discover Mark standing behind me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, pulling my cloak tight. I felt a bit uncomfortable standing in front of him in nothing more than my nightclothes.
“I’ve been watching the house at night since I met you,” he said, pointing to a blanket on the ground.
“You mean for Johna?” I asked. “She’s been so great to us. I should have figured she asked someone to keep an eye out.”
“No,” he said. “She doesn’t know. I was doing it to protect you.”
A myriad of thoughts raced through my head, one more confusing than the next.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“You needed help. I can help you,” he answered, stepping closer to me. “Please, let me help you.”
“But Mark, I’m a fugitive. You’re honor-bound to uphold the law. Don’t you think you’ve done enough by keeping my secret?”
“I am honor-bound to do the right thing,” he said, slamming his fist into his hand. “Is slavery the right thing? Is chasing after a girl who wants to be free the right thing to do? I’m tired of being held under the thumb of the Malborn. Aren’t you?”
“I don’t know,” I stammered. “I’ve been a slave my whole life. It’s all I know. What do I know about the rest of the world?”
“Oh, Reychel,” he said, propping his foot up on an old stump. “There’s so much you don’t know. Our land is filled with people who don’t agree with the Malborn’s tyranny but also can’t just stand by and follow the rules like our fellow Serenians. Some of us want to fight back.”
“But fighting back is useless. The Malborn have all the weapons, all the power, and all the land. What are we supposed to do? Join a group like the Sons of Silence? From what I hear all they do is hunt down the Malborn and who cares if a few commoner Serenians get in the way. They are violent and dangerous. It’s no way to change our place, it only leads to more violence.”
“Not always,” Mark insisted. “Sometimes they do good things. There are good people in the Sons. Their efforts aren’t as obvious.”
“Not from what I’ve seen,” I said, rolling my eyes. “They attacked Kandek’s castle not long before I left. Instead of freeing one Serenian, they broke a hole in the city wall that had to be repaired by slaves, killed two merchants, and got themselves all thrown in prison.”
We had all been punished for the attack. No one was allowed to leav
e the castle unless accompanied by a guard. For a month Ivy bought food in the market under the heavy shadow of a guard. She wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone other than to inquire about prices. Even looking at a merchant in the wrong way was enough cause to be punished.
“Those actions weren’t condoned,” he said, placing his palm on his forehead. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. The plan was for a quiet infiltration, not a full-scale attack.”
I stared at my new friend, quickly realizing there was so much I didn’t know about him or his past. Yes, he was a soldier in the army, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that he had also been recruited into the Sons. A Serenian by birth but a solider for the Malborn by trade. Where did his loyalties lie?
“Mark?” I asked, placing my hand on his arm. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“Nothing. Everything.” He sighed, running his hands through his thick brown hair. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone I’m in the Sons. It means immediate dismissal.” His eyes bore into mine. “You won’t tell. And I know it’s not because I know your secret. It’s because I trust you.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I promised.
“Not even Ivy,” he said. “She, of all people, can never know. I don’t trust her at all. That girl only thinks about what benefits her, not anyone else.”
“Mark,” I gasped. “How can you say such an awful thing? Ivy’s my best friend. She’s been with me since I can remember. She’s never done anything but help me.”
“Really? What has she done for you?”
“She convinced Tania to free me. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her.”
“Did you ever stop for a moment to think that Ivy had other reasons for freeing you?” he asked.
“No,” I said, getting angrier by the moment. I felt my nails digging into my newly made fists. “Enlighten me, Mark. Why did she do it?”
He turned away, his shoulder shaking slightly. I could see the pressure building in his body as his muscles tensed up.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But I’ll figure it out. Why do you think I’ve been coming by every day?”
“To see Ivy?” I stuttered. I knew it wasn’t true. He wasn’t interested in her at all. I’d just had no idea his interest lie in me.
“In a way, yes, to see Ivy. To figure out what she’s up to, but I don’t know yet. That girl is hiding something. That much I can assure you.”
“Why are you so certain? What did she ever do to you?”
He turned slowly and placed his hands on my shoulders.
“I just know, Reychel. You have to trust me.”
“I can’t. You have to tell me the truth. I’m so tired of taking what everyone says at face value. My whole life I’ve just trusted people, but lately I’ve learned everything I thought I knew has held only a shadow of the truth. If you want me to trust you, then you need to trust me first,” I stared into his eyes, daring him to confide in me.
He dropped his arms to his sides.
“I’ve never told anyone this before,” he said.
“Tell me,” I begged taking his hands in mine.
“I’m gifted too,” he said.
“No, you’re not. I know how to detect it and I don’t see anything in your eyes.”
“Look again,” he said, coming closer stopping only when we were nose-to-nose.
I breathed lightly as I looked into his eyes. There was no spark. I didn’t know what kind of game he was playing, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. Then suddenly it was there. A spark shining so brightly that I couldn’t help but gasp as I pulled back.
“How did you do that?” I asked, stunned at what I had seen.
“It’s a shield,” he said. “I can make them and detect them.”
“You’re so strong,” I said. “Stronger than Johna. And much stronger than Ivy.”
“I am, but not as strong as you. The night I first met you, I rushed home and after my perfunctory greetings to my parents, I checked my eyes in a mirror. They don’t glow nearly as strong as yours.”
“But close?” I asked.
“Very close,” he said with a smile.
My thoughts lay in a jumble as I considered everything. He was telling the truth, but he must be wrong about Ivy. She was my dearest friend. I couldn’t believe she had other reasons for sticking by me.
“It’s how I know Ivy’s not what you think,” he said. “I can detect walls in people’s minds. Secrets. I can’t read them, but I know they are there. When Ivy looks at you, that part of her bulks up. She’s hiding something from you Reychel.”
“I don’t know what to think,” I said, confused. “Is anything simple anymore?”
“No,” he said. “It’s not.”
10
As I stretched my arms above my head, I thought about how late I was out last night. After revealing his secret, Mark hugged me, said goodnight, and then crawled into his bedroll not far from where we had stood. It was the last time we spoke, but I hung around on the stump for a while longer staring at the moon and stars.
I couldn’t conceive of Ivy being anything other than my best friend. Eventually I gave up thinking about it and slipped back through the window. Johna snored in her bed and Ivy’s head hid under the blankets. Everyone had been asleep, my midnight jaunt still secret.
The mirror on the bedside table showed my black stubble had changed to measurable wisps of hair. Johna’s hearty meals gave heft to my cheeks, replacing the sunken indentations from my life as a slave. My hands were no longer callused and raw. New skin had softened them into the delicate hands of a woman who picks herbs, not one who washes and dries dishes all day.
I was so absorbed in examining my own appearance, I didn’t notice Ivy standing in the doorway until she spoke.
“Trying to see what he sees in you?” Ivy hissed.
“What are you talking about?”
“Mark,” Ivy said, closing the door behind her as she stepped into the room. “I woke up last night when you sneaked out to meet him.”
“I didn’t sneak out to meet him,” I tried to explain.
“Sure. That’s why I looked out the knothole and saw you two standing there whispering and with his hands on your shoulders. Hardly an innocent position.”
“You don’t understand,” I said. “I went outside to be outside. Not to be with Mark. I didn’t even know he was there.”
“I can’t believe this, Reychel. I told you how I felt about him. The one time in our lives that I’ve asked something from you and you took it away from me. How could you do this?” Ivy stomped her foot as tears streamed down her face.
“He’s mine!” she yelled. “Mine! Do you hear me?”
“Ivy, he’s certainly not mine,” I said, taking a deep breath. “But he’s not yours either.”
“How dare you?” Ivy’s arm reached out to me, her fingers spread.
I backed out of her reach.
“Don’t touch me,” I said. “You’re trying to soothe me, aren’t you?”
“Just let me,” Ivy choked out between sobs, her hand shaking. “I’ve done it to you your whole life. You wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re so stupid, Reychel. You’ve always been stupid. You had it all. I had nothing. The only way I got close to having something was to soothe secrets out of people. They talk when they’re relaxed, you know. People tell me things they wouldn’t normally talk about.
“I know things that would blow your mind,” Ivy continued. “I could destroy your whole world with four words. And now that you’ve ruined the only thing I’ve ever wanted by taking Mark away from me…”
Ivy paused, staring at me for a moment.
“I didn’t take him away from you,” I insisted. “He’s just a friend.”
“He doesn’t want me,” Ivy said, her eyes narrowing. “He wants you. Just like everyone else. It’s always about you, Reychel. When is it going t
o be about me?”
I couldn’t believe this. Shaking my head, I moved closer to Ivy ready to take her in my arms. Maybe all she needed was a hug, a reassurance that I didn’t want Mark.
Ivy stepped backward. “I’m done with you. I’m leaving.”
“What?” I reached out for her again but she slapped my arm.
“I know the basics in herbology, at least enough to make a living. I’m leaving.”
Ivy packed her few possessions into the bag Tania had given her. I watched, unable to bring myself to stop her. Maybe what Mark had told me was true. Ivy had been keeping secrets, big ones it seemed.
“Where will you go?” I asked.
Ivy whirled around. “Do you even care? You have everything you want here. A place to hide and a boy to love.”
“I don’t,” I started.
“Don’t you dare say that you don’t love him too,” Ivy snarled. “I don’t have to soothe you to see it. You’re so obvious to everyone but yourself.”
Ivy stormed out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her. I overheard a quick argument between Ivy and Johna and then I heard the front door closed. I sank down on the bed, head in my hands, and refused to move even though the door creaked open.
“What just happened here?” Johna demanded.
My tearless eyes looked up at Johna. I wanted to cry, but nothing would come.
“Ivy’s gone,” I responded.
“I’m aware of that, child. Tell me more.”
“She thinks I’m in love with Mark.”
“That much is obvious,” Johna said. “All of this is about jealousy because you love him?”
I sighed. Didn’t anyone understand? I wasn’t in love with Mark.
“Ivy also said she knows something about me. Some kind of secret. Mark,” I paused, not wanting to reveal his secret, “knew she was up to something. He suspected it.”
