“After the third or fifth time my head had been pushed into the toilet—
“I hear you gasping, but I mean that literally for I got to know the toilet in the boys’ room at my high school intimately. By the third or fifth time I knew what I wanted. I wanted a golem to be my protector. A Samson. A big guy carrying the jawbone of a donkey.
“What I found instead were friends. And we founded a band, a klezmer/jazz/pop/rock fusion band. In making music, we found our own kind of power. Creativity is power. Friendship is power.
“So, I’d like to call up those friends now, and we will play two songs for you here. The first is about power. When I asked if we could do so, Reb Chaim reminded me that King David himself sang and danced before the ark of God, so it’s not a disrespectful thing to do up here on the bimah. Though we’ll do it unplugged. After all, I promised my mom.
“The song ‘Power!’ has two new verses, which I’ve written just for this speech, and even the band hasn’t heard them yet. The new words go like this:
But power when it’s not in check
Can leave your life an awful wreck,
Turns success right into drek.
Power!
With love and friendship, side by side,
We can find a better guide,
Not just with power, but with pride.
Power!
“The second song is about mitzvah—which means a good deed. And tzedakah, which is about charity and mercy and doing something for all the underprivileged in the world, which is really what a bar mitzvah should be about. And when we’re done, you’re all invited to my bar mitzvah lunch in the rooms below. After eating, we’ll play some more for you. Plugged this time. Sorry, Mom, but it’s my party and my band!
“Oh—and as part of the good deeds we are asked to do in honor of a bar mitzvah, I have talked the band into playing once a month for free in nursing homes and for children in hospitals in the area. I have already set that up, and we have twelve free gigs in as many months ahead. You can find out all about that at your seat downstairs. My principal, Mr. Kraft, helped us get in touch with all those places. And if you want to add some money to give to the hospitals and nursing homes, there are envelopes by every place setting, and we will pick those up and distribute those as well.
“So, Julia and Skink and Erik—come on up. Skink plays guitar, Erik is on drums. Julia—she’s the pretty one on fiddle. And I’m on clarinet.
“And we are BUG. You will find out why later.
“As a friend of mine—a real good friend to all of us in the band—used to say, Shalom aleichem.”
As Julia and Skink and Erik took their places on the bimah, Sammy stepped forward to adjust his microphone. Erik raised his drumsticks and started the count.
“One, two, three . . .”
Mitzvah
The bigger the hole,
The longer to fill.
The deeper the valley,
The higher the hill.
The wider the longing,
The louder the cry.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The bigger the bully,
The weaker the boy.
The greater the sorrow,
The better the joy.
The harder the hardship,
The more we must try.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
Chorus:
There’s not enough time
To fill every hole;
Not enough tzedakah
For every soul.
But the greater the need,
The more we must try.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The wider the sea,
The smaller the boat.
The greater the need,
The weaker the hope.
The longer the illness,
The sooner you die.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The littler the child,
The larger the love.
The bigger the eagle,
The smaller the dove.
The farther we go,
The nearer we get.
The greater the stakes,
The more we must bet.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
And I!
AND I!
EVERYBODY:
WHO’S WILLING TO HELP SAY—
AND I!!
Bobby Marstall stood up first. Then one by one so did each of the kids from the seventh and eighth grades, all of whom had come to the bar mitzvah. They shouted out, “And I!”
After that, the Big Cheese and Ms. Holsten stood and called out, “And I!”
Next Sammy’s mother and father, tears running down their cheeks, stood up. And Sammy’s uncle Freddy, the musician who’d come all the way from Hartford. And the major and the general, both clapping loudly, Julia Nathanson’s two moms, and Erik’s dad. And then everyone in the congregation.
From the far side of the bimah, Reb Chaim came over and whispered to Sammy, “And I.” Then he raised his hands above his head and began to sway.
Sammy nodded and was about to play a trill that signaled the last chorus, when he heard a deep, uninflected echo from somewhere overhead.
“And I.”
Gully? Sammy waited, but there was nothing more.
He turned and looked at the band. Julia was smiling. Skink nodded and mouthed, “Aleichem, buddy.” Erik hit his drumsticks together. “Thanks. God speed, Bugman.”
With a smile, Sammy blew one last, long note that slid up and up and up like an angel winging toward heaven. Then he led his band into the final chorus.
Songs from BUG
Speaking with Chaim
Going down the road
In the bar mitzvah bus,
Boogie and klezmer
And fusion ’R’ Us.
Making some music
And making a fuss.
Going on down the road.
Chorus:
Going down the road,
Going down the road.
Rolling and rocking
To get there on time.
Learning some Hebrew
And rhythm and rhyme.
Trying some Hebrew,
And speaking with Chaim.
Going down the road
(Chorus)
To Life
To life, to life,
I’ll bring the clay to life.
Frankenstein, he made a monster,
and made a monster’s wife.
He robbed the local graveyard,
which caused some local strife.
Then villagers attacked him
With pitchfork, ax, and knife.
But me I won’t be troubled, ’cause
I’ll bring this clay to life!
Golem . . . golem . . . golem . . .
To life, to life,
I’ll bring the clay to life,
And it will help me stop all wars
And arguments and strife.
They’ll be an end to bullying,
They’ll be an end to rife.
And me, I won’t be troubled more,
’cause all I have to do is
bring this clay to life!
Soul Power, Klez Style
I’ve been up and I’ve been down,
I’ve been beaten all around.
I’ve been kicked upon the ground.
Power!
I’ve been hit and I’ve been named.
<
br /> I’ve been dissed and shook and shamed.
And it’s all a power game.
Power!
Chorus:
You don’t have it,
So you want it.
Once you get it,
Then you flaunt it.
If you use it,
Don’t abuse it.
You will lose it.
Power!
Take the power in your hands,
It’s YOUR turn to make demands.
Rule the kingdom and its lands.
Power!
Come on brothers, side by side,
In an army long and wide.
We won’t wait for time nor tide.
Power!
Chorus
But power when it’s not in check
Can leave your life an awful wreck,
Turns success right into drek.
Power!
With love and friendship, side by side,
We can find a better guide,
Not just with power, but with pride.
Power!
Shiva
It’s been a year, Papa, your candle glows.
And where you’ve gone to no one knows.
The candle flame blows high and higher,
I see your dear face in the fire.
You are my first death. Now you’re gone.
We do not forget, but life goes on.
Life goes on, I’m not sure why,
Just watch me Papa from on high.
Life goes on, for me not you,
I’m singing now full klezmer blue.
Candlepower and candle flame,
I carry your soul if not your name.
I carry your love inside my heart
And know that we’re not really apart.
You’re here, Papa, though you have gone.
We never forget, though life goes on.
Bar Mitzvah
Today I am a man; I am a man today.
I think of many manly things; I have no time to play.
My voice is very deep; my thoughts are quite deep, too.
I am a man today. I have no time for you.
I’ve put down childish things; I’ve taken up the sword.
I skewer with a phrase; I pinion with a word.
Today I am a man; I have two feet of clay.
I am a grown-up now; I have no time to play.
God’s Ears
Wishing on a starry night,
I wish I could, I wish I might,
Wish away my deepest fears.
May wishes reach into God’s ears.
When things go wrong, when nothing’s right,
It’s then I wish with all my might
And hope that someone somewhere hears.
Do wishes reach into God’s ears?
Chorus:
Grandma said, and Grandma knows
The way that wishing always goes,
Sometimes the devil only hears
What your lips send to reach God’s ears.
The best of wishes, they are those
You make to heal another’s woes.
The ones to soothe your brother’s fears
Go from your lips straight to God’s ears.
BUG
You can quit or you can play,
You can leave or you can stay.
If you name it, then you shame it,
BUG!.
You can fear it, or you can own it.
You can dull it, or you can hone it.
If you name it, then you shame it.
BUG!
You can run, or you can fight.
You’re not wrong if in the right.
If you name it then you claim it.
BUG!
Mitzvah
The bigger the hole,
The longer to fill.
The deeper the valley,
The higher the hill.
The wider the longing,
The louder the cry.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The bigger the bully,
The weaker the boy.
The greater the sorrow,
The better the joy.
The harder the hardship,
The more we must try.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
Chorus:
There’s not enough time
To fill every hole;
Not enough tzedakah
For every soul.
But the greater the need,
The more we must try.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The wider the sea,
The smaller the boat.
The greater the need,
The weaker the hope.
The longer the illness,
The sooner you die.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
The littler the child,
The larger the love.
The bigger the eagle,
The smaller the dove.
The farther we go,
The nearer we get.
The greater the stakes
The more we must bet.
Who’s willing to help?
I am.
And I.
And I!
AND I!
EVERYBODY:
WHO’S WILLING TO HELP SAY—
AND I!
Glossary of Yiddish/Hebrew Words
Adonai: The holy name for God in Hebrew.
Alefbet: The Hebrew alphabet.
Alef: The first letter in the Hebrew alphabet.
Aleichem shalom: “Upon you be peace.” A Hebrew greeting.
Bar Mitzvah: Hebrew. This literally means “one who has the obligation of fulfilling commandments,” so it marks the time when a boy is old enough to understand and become responsible for following certain rules of living. There are certain religious rites in the synagogue in which the boy takes part, in both Hebrew and his own language. And then, most often, there is a celebration or party afterward.
Bat Mitzvah: Hebrew. The girl’s version of bar mitzvah.
Bimah: Hebrew. This is the platform in the synagogue where the Torah scroll is read aloud.
Drek: Yiddish for trash, junk.
Frask: Slap in the face.
Grober: A crude person.
Hebrew: A Semitic language, now seen as a Jewish language. It is the “Holy tongue,” the language of the Hebrew Bible, which Christians and others call the Old Testament, but Jews do not. It is one of the official languages of Israel (the others being Arabic and English). From the nineteenth century on, Hebrew was reinvented and revived by Eliezar Ben Yehuda and became the spoken language of Israel.
Kavod: Hebrew for honor.
Kelev: Hebrew for dog.
Klezmer: Jewish folk music.
Livyatan: The Hebrew word for whale.
Minyan: Hebrew for ten adult Jews, the number necessary for prayer services. In the old days they had to be men, but in the Reform and some Conservative synagogues, woman can now be in the minyan as well. The Orthodox Jews still exclude women from the minyans.
Mitzvah: Hebrew meaning a good deed.
Mossad: “The Institute” The Israeli intelligence agency responsible for counter-terrorism and paramilitary operations.
Nazirite: An ancient type of Jewish ascetic, typically they were forbidden to ever shave or cut their hair.
Philistines: Ancient people o
f the southern coast of Canaan before the arrival of the Israelites.
Rabbi: Hebrew word literally comes from the Hebrew word rav which means “master.” By that term was meant someone who was a master of the Torah and the teachings of Judiasm, a sage, a scholar, a teacher. For the most part these days the term is used for a Jewish religious leader with or without his or her own congregation. Reb is the shortened form, used informally.
Rabbinical: Pertaining to a rabbi, usually used for teachings, wisdom, or rulings about Jewish law/customs.
Shabbat shalom: Hebrew greeting on Shabbat or the Sabbath, which in Judaism is celebrated from sundown on Friday evening to sundown on Saturday evening.
Shablul: The Hebrew word for slug.
Shalom: The Hebrew word for peace, which is also used as a greeting and a farewell.
Shalom aleichem/Aleichem shalom: Hebrew which means “Peace be upon you,/ To all of you, peace.” It is used both as a greeting and a farewell.
Shiva: a week-long period of mourning after a death where the family stays at home and visitors come with food and comfort.
Shul: Place of worship, another word for temple or synagogue.
Skullcap also called yarmulke or kepi: The traditional Jewish head covering.
Synagogue: Place of worship, another word for temple or shul.
Taw: The last letter in the Hebrew alphabet.
Temple: Place of worship, another word for shul or synagogue.
B.u.g. Big Ugly Guy (9781101593523) Page 20
