by Daniel Defoe
an End too as soon as he could; for after this he began to use me ill, and not
only to straiten my Provisions, but to beat and torture me in a barbarous Manner
for every Trifle; so that in a Word my Life began to be very miserable.
The Violence of this Usage of me, and the Impossibility of my Escape from his
Hands, set my Head a-working upon all Sorts of Mischief; and in particular, I
resolved, after studying all other Ways to deliver my self, and finding all
ineffectual; I say, I resolved to murther him. With this Hellish Resolution in
my Head, I spent whole Nights and Days contriving how to put it in Execution,
the Devil prompting me very warmly to the Fact. I was indeed entirely at a Loss
for the Means; for I had neither Gun or Sword, nor any Weapon to assault him
with. Poison I had my Thoughts much upon, but knew not where to get any; or if I
might have got it, I did not know the Country Word for it, or by what Name to
ask for it.
In this Manner I quitted the Fact intentionally a Hundred and a Hundred Times;
but Providence, either for his sake, or for mine, always frustrated my Designs,
and I could never bring it to pass; so I was obliged to continue in his Chains
till the Ship, having taken in her Loading, set Sail for Portugal.
I can say nothing here to the Manner of our Voyage; for as I said, I kept no
Journal; but this I can give an Account of, that having been once as high as the
Cape of Good Hope, as we call it; or Cabo de bona Speranza, as they call it, we
were driven back again by a violent Storm from the W. S. W. which held us six
Days and Nights, a great Way to the Eastward; and after that standing afore the
Wind for several Days more, we at last came to an Anchor on the Coast of
Madagascar.
The Storm had been so violent, that the Ship had received a great deal of
Damage, and it required some time to repair her; so standing in nearer the
Shore, the Pilot, My Master, brought the Ship into a very good Harbour, where we
rid in Twenty six Fathom Water, about Half a Mile from the Shore.
While the Ship rode here, there happen'd a most desperate Mutiny among the Men,
upon Account of some Deficiency in their Allowance, which came to that Height,
that they threaten'd the Captain to set him on Shore, and go back with the Ship
to Goa. I wish'd they would, with all my Heart, for I was full of Mischief in my
Head, and ready enough to do any. So, tho' I was but a Boy, as they called me,
yet I prompted the Mischief all I could, and embarked in it so openly, that I
escap'd very little being hang'd in the first and most early Part of my Life;
for the Captain had some Notice, that there was a Design laid by some of the
Company to murther him; and having partly by Money and Promises, and partly by
Threatning and Torture, brought two Fellows to confess the Particulars, and the
Names of the Persons concerned, they were presently apprehended, till one
accusing another, no less than sixteen Men were seized, and put into Irons,
whereof I was one.
The Captain, who was made desperate by his Danger, resolving to clear the Ship
of his Enemies, try'd us all, and we were all condemned to die. The Manner of
his Process I was too young to take Notice of; but the Purser and one of the
Gunners were hang'd immediately, and I expected it with the rest. I do not
remember any great Concern I was under about it, only that I cry'd very much;
for I knew little then of this World, and nothing at all of the next.
However, the Captain contented himself with executing these two; and some of the
rest, upon their hmble Submission, and Promise of future good Behaviour, were
pardoned; but five were ordered to be set on Shore on the Island, and left
there, of which I was one. My Master used all his Interest with the Captain to
have me excused, but could not obtain it; for somebody having told him that I
was one of them, who was singled out to have killed him, when my Master desired
I might not be set on Shore, the Captain told him, I should stay on Board if he
desired it, but then I should be hang'd; so he might chuse for me which he
thought best: The Captain, it seems, was particularly provok'd at my being
concerned in the Treachery, because of his having been so kind to me, and of his
having singled me me out to serve him, as I have said above; and this perhaps
obliged him to give my Master such a rough Choice, either to set me on Shore, or
to have me hang'd on Board: And had my Master indeed known what good Will I had
for him, he would not ha' been long in chusing for me; for I had certainly
determined to do him a Mischief the first Opportunity I had had for it. This was
therefore a good Providence for me, to keep me from dipping my Hands in Blood,
and it made me more tender afterwards in Matters of Blood, than I believe I
should otherwise have been. But as to my being one of them that was to kill the
Captain, that I was wrong'd in, for I was not the Person; but it was really one
of them that were pardoned, he having the good Luck not to have that Part
discovered.
I was now to enter upon a Part of independent Life, a thing I was indeed very
ill prepared to manage; for I was perfectly loose and dissolute in my Behaviour,
bold and wicked while I was under Government, and now perfectly unfit to be
trusted with Liberty; for I was as ripe for any Villainy, as a young Fellow that
had no solid Thought ever placed in his Mind could be supposed to be. Education,
as you have heard, I had none; and all the little Scenes of Life I had pass'd
thro', had been full of Dangers and desperate Circumstances; but I was either so
young, or so stupid, that I escaped the Grief and Anxiety of them, for want of
having a Sense of their Tendency and Consequences.
This thoughtless, unconcern'd Temper had one Felicity indeed in it; that it made
me daring and ready for doing any Mischief, and kept off the Sorrow which
otherwise ought to have attended me when I fell into any Mischief; that this
Stupidity was instead of a Happiness to me, for it left my Thoughts free to act
upon Means of Escape and Deliverance in my Distress, however ever great it might
be; whereas my Companions in the Misery, were so sunk by their Fear and Grief,
that they abandoned themselves to the Misery of their Condition, and gave over
all Thought but of their perishing and starving, being devoured by wild Beasts,
murthered, and perhaps eaten by Cannibals, and the like.
I was but a young Fellow about 17 or 18; but hearing what was to be my Fate, I
received it with no Appearance of Discouragement; but I asked what my Master
said to it, and being told that he had used his utmost Interest to save me, but
the Captain had answered I should either go on Shore or be hanged on Board,
which he pleased; I then gave over all Hope of being received again: I was not
very thankful in my Thoughts to my Master for his solliciting the Captain for
me, because I knew that what he did was not in Kindness to me, so much as in
Kindness to himself; I mean to preserve the Wages which he got for me, which
amounted to above six Dollars a Month, including what the Captain allowed him
for my particular Service to him.
When I understood that my Master was so apparently kind, I asked if I might not
be admitted to speak with him, and they told me I might, if my Master would come
down to me, but I could not be allowed to come up to him; so then I desired my
Master might be spoke to to come to me, and he accordingly came to me; I fell on
my Knees to him, and begg'd he would forgive me what I had done to displease
him; and indeed the Resolution I had taken to murther him, lay with some Horrour
upon my Mind just at that Time, so that I was once just a-going to confess it,
and beg him to forgive me, but I kept it in: He told me he had done all he could
to obtain my Pardon of the Captain, but could not; and he knew no Way for me but
to have Patience, and submit to my Fate; and if they came to speak with any Ship
of their Nation at the Cape, he would endeavour to have them stand in, and fetch
us off again if we might be found.
Then I begg'd I might have my Clothes on Shore with me. He told me he was afraid
I should have little Need of Clothes, for he did not see how we could long
subsist on the Island, and that he had been told that the Inhabitants were
Cannibals or Men-eaters (tho' he had no Reason for that Suggestion) and we
should not be able to live among them. I told him I was not so afraid of that,
as I was of starving for want of Victuals; and as for the Inhabitants being
Cannibals, I believed we should be more likely to eat them, than they us, if we
could but get at them: But I was mightily concerned, I said, we should have no
Weapons with us to defend our selves, and I begg'd nothing now, but that he
would give me a Gun and a Sword, with a little Powder and Shot.
He smiled and said, they would signify nothing to us, for it was impossible for
us to pretend to preserve our Lives among such a populous and desperate Nation
as the People of the Island were. I told him, that however it would do us this
Good, for we should not be devoured or destroy'd immediately; so I begged hard
for the Gun. At last he told me, he did not know whether the Captain would give
him Leave to give me a Gun, and if not, he durst not do it; but he promised to
use his Interest to obtain it forme, which he did, and the next Day he sent me a
Gun, with some Ammunition, but told me, the Captain would not suffer the
Ammunition to be given us, till we were set all on Shore, and till he was just
going to set Sail. He also sent me the few Clothes I had in the Ship, which
indeed were not many.
Two Days after this we were all carried on Shore together; the rest of my
Fellow-Criminals hearing I had a Gun, and some Powder and Shot, sollicited for
Liberty to carry the like with them, which was also granted them; and thus we
were set on Shore to shift for our selves.
At our first coming into the Island, we were terrified exceedingly with the
Sight of the barbarous People; whose Figure was made more terrible to us than
really it was, by the Report we had of them from the Seamen; but when we came to
converse with them a while, we found they were not Cannibals, as was reported,
or such as would fall immediately upon us and eat us up; but they came and sat
down by us, and wondered much at our Clothes and Arms, and made Signs to give us
some Victuals, such as they had, which was only Roots and Plants dug out of the
Ground, for the present, but they brought us Fowls and Flesh afterwards in good
Plenty.
This encouraged the other four Men that were with me very much, for they were
quite dejected before; but now they began to be very familiar with them, and
made Signs, that if they would use us kindly, we would stay and live with them;
which they seemed glad of, tho' they knew little of the Necessity we were under
to do so, or how much we were afraid of them.
However, upon other Thoughts, we resolved that we would only stay in that Part
so long as the Ship rid in the Bay, and then making them believe we were gone
with the Ship, we would go and place our selves, if possible, where there were
no Inhabitants to be seen, and so live as we could, or perhaps watch for a Ship
that might be driven upon the Coast, as we were.
The Ship continued a Fortnight in the Road repairing some Damage which had been
done her in the late Storm, and taking in Wood and Water; and during this time
the Boat coming often on Shore, the Men brought us several Refreshments, and the
Natives believing we only belong'd to the Ship, were civil enough. We lived in a
kind of a Tent on the Shore, or rather a Hut, which we made with the Boughs of
Trees, and sometimes in the Night retired to a Wood a little out of their Way,
to let them think we were gone on board the Ship. However, we found them
barbarous, treacherous, and villainous enough in their Nature, only civil for
Fear, and therefore concluded we should soon fall into their Hands when the Ship
was gone.
The Sense of this wrought upon my Fellow-Sufferers even to Distraction; and one
of them, being a Carpenter, in his mad Fit, swam off to the Ship in the Night,
tho' she lay then a League to Sea, and made such pitiful Moan to be taken in,
that the Captain was prevailed with at last to take him in, tho' they let him
lye swimming three Hours in the Water before he consented to it.
Upon this, and his humble Submission, the Captain received him, and, in a word,
the Importunity of this Man (who for some time petition'd to be taken in, tho'
they hanged him as soon as they had him) was such as could not be resisted; for,
after he had swam so long about the Ship, he was not able to have reached the
Shore again; and the Captain saw evidently that the Man must be taken on Board,
or suffered to drown, and the whole Ship's Company offering to be bound for him
for his good Behaviour, the Captain at last yielded, and he was taken up, but
almost dead with his being so long in the Water.
When this Man was got in, he never left Importuning the Captain and all the rest
of the Officers in Behalf of us that were behind, but to the very last Day the
Captain was inexorable; when, at the time their Preparations were making to
fail, and Orders given to hoist the Boats into the Ship, all the Seamen in a
Body came up to the Rail of the Quarter-Deck, where the Captain was walking with
some of his Officers, and appointing the Boatswain to speak for them, he went
up, and falling on his Knees to the Captain, begged of him in the humblest
manner possible, to receive the four Men on Board again, offering to answer for
their Fidelity, or to have them kept in Chains till they came to Lisbon, and
there to be delivered up to Justice, rather than, as they said, to have them
left to be murthered by Savages, or devoured by wild Beasts. It was a great
while e'er the Captain took any Notice of them, but when he did he ordered the
Boatswain to be seized, and threatned to bring him to the Capstern for speaking
for them.
Upon this Severity, one of the Seamen, bolder than the rest, but still with all
possible Respect to the Captain, besought his Honour, as he called him, that he
would give Leave to some mo
re of them to go on Shore, and die with their
Companions, or, if possible, to assist them to resist the Barbarians. The
Captain, rather provoked than cowd with this, came to the Barricado of the
Quarter-Deck, and speaking very prudently to the Men, (for, had he spoken
roughly, two Thirds of them would have left the Ship, if not all of them) he
told them, it was for their Safety as well as his own, that he had been obliged
to that Severity; that Mutiny on board a Ship was the same thing as Treason in
the King's Palace, and he could not answer it to his Owners and Employers to
trust the Ship and Goods Committed to his Charge, with Men who had entertained
Thoughts of the worst and blackest Nature; that he wished heartily that it had
been any where else that they had been set on Shore, where they might have been
in less Hazard from the Savages; that if he had designed they should be
destroyed, he could as well have executed them on board as the other two; that
he wished it had been in some other Part of the World, where he might have
delivered them up to the Civil Justice, or might have left them among
Christians; but that it was better their Lives were put in Hazard, than his
Life, and the Safety of the Ship; and that tho' he did not know that he had
deserved so ill of any of them, as that they should leave the Ship, rather than
do their Duty; yet if any of them were resolved to do so unless he would consent
to take a Gang of Traytors on board, who, as he had proved before them all, had
conspired to murther him, he would not hinder them, nor, for the present, would
he resent their Importunity; but if there was no body left in the Ship but
himself, he would never consent to take them on board.
This Discourse was delivered so well, was in it self so reasonable, was managed
with so much Temper, yet so boldly concluded with a Negative, that the greatest
Part of the Men were satisfied for the present: However, as it put the Men into
Juncto's and Cabals, and they were not composed for some Hours; the Wind also
slackening towards Night, the Captain ordered not to weigh till next Morning.
The same Night 23 of the Men, among whom was the Gunner's Mate, the Surgeon's
Assistant, and two Carpenters, applying to the Chief Mate, told him, that as the
Captain had given them Leave to go on Shore to their Comerades, they begged,
that he would speak to the Captain not to take it ill that they were desirous to
go and die with their Companions; and that they thought they could do no less in
such an Extremity, than go to them; because if there was any way to save their
Lives, it was by adding to their Numbers, and making them strong enough to
assist one another in defending themselves against the Savages, till perhaps
they might one time or other find Means to make their Escape, and get to their
own Country again.
The Mate told them in so many Words, that he durst not speak to the Captain upon
any such Design, and was very sorry they had no more Respect for him, than to
desire him to go of such an Errand; but if they were resolved upon such an
Enterprize, he would advise them to take the Long-Boat in the Morning betimes,
and go off, seeing the Captain had given them Leave, and leave a civil Letter
behind them to the Captain, and to desire him to send his Men on Shore for the
Boat, which should be delivered very honestly, and he promised to keep their
Counsel so long.
Accordingly an Hour before Day, those 23 Men, with every Man a Fire-lock and
Cutlass, with some Pistols, three Halbards or Half-Pikes, and good Store of
Powder and Ball, without any Provision but about Half an Hundred of Bread, but
with all their Chests and Clothes, Tools, Instruments, Books, &c. embarked
themselves so silently, that the Captain got no Notice of it till they were
gotten half the Way on Shore.
