She's sitting in what was always Adeline's favorite chair, curled up with her knees against her chest, and it brings back bittersweet memories. Lucien's only been awake for a few hours, but he's already put his best men on trying to find the whereabouts of Adeline. I just pray and hope we can find her soon. The not knowing is what's killing me. I just hope she's safe. And alive.
"How's your cousin?" Katya asks as I sit down in an adjacent chair.
"Doing good considering what all he's been through." It's a fucking miracle he's even awake right now. I know that for a fact.
"That's good," she whispers. After a few moments of silence, Katya asks, "So…what's he going to do with me now that he's awake?"
I can hear the fear and uncertainty in her voice, and everything starts to click in place. I turn to her and ask, "Is that what's been making you act so weird lately? You're afraid Lucien's going to what, kick you out or something?"
She bites her lower lip, neither confirming nor denying my suspicions. So I can only assume that I hit the nail right on the head.
"Katerina," I start.
"Katya," she says adamantly. "Pavel always called me Katerina, and I can't stand to hear it come out of your mouth," she confesses.
Ah, so finally some truths. "Fine. I won't call you that ever again," I promise her. "All I've ever wanted was some honesty from you, Katya."
She lets my words sink in before continuing. "Your cousin…he's not a good man. He kidnapped and held that girl in the same room I'm staying in, didn't he? Was her name Adeline?"
I cock my head to the side at her questions. All this time she's been so afraid of Lucien waking up and hurting her…or worse. She has no idea how kind Lucien really is. He has his issues, but deep down he has a good heart.
"He didn't kidnap Adeline," I explain. "It's a long story, but I'll tell you this much — it was a complete misunderstanding that ended up with the two of them falling in love. Adeline stayed here because she wanted to, not because she didn't have a choice."
My words seem to have an effect on her, and her blonde brows dip over her blue eyes. "So, the men who came here to take her —."
"Were very bad men that Lucien was trying to keep her safe from," I tell her.
She visibly relaxes at my explanation, and it looks as if a thousand-pound weight was just lifted off her shoulders. It all makes sense now — why she was acting the way she was, why she was trying to seduce me even if she didn't actually want to. She was doing all of that shit in the event that Lucien woke up. She was obviously using me so that I would probably fall for her and protect her from my cousin.
But in all honesty, she never needed protection from Lucien. He's more of a protector than I am. He's the greatest guy I know, even if he has some pretty weird fucking quirks.
"Lucien has some…problems," I explain. "But trust me, he's one of the good guys. He won't harm you, Katya. In fact, I'm sure he would be glad to help you."
"Help me?" she asks, hopeful.
"Yes." I clear my throat and stand. "But right now he's focused on getting Adeline back, as we all are." I let my admission slip, and I see Katya visibly flinch. "It's not like you're safe out in the world right now anyway because of the Bratva, so I'm sure you won't mind just hanging around here for a while?"
She gives me a small nod.
"Okay. Good." I go to leave, but then she calls my name. When I turn to look at the blonde goddess, she whispers, "Thank you, Jax."
I give her a small smile before retreating from the room. She's thanking me after everything I've done for her. Yeah, maybe she was playing me to get what she wanted, but at least she had an excuse.
She was scared.
I was an asshole to her because I have my own set of issues. And now I know I need to make things right. I owe her that much at least.
CHAPTER 23
JACKSON
I WAKE UP that morning with a guilty consciences and a heavy heart.
I hurt Katya's feelings, and I'm not the type of guy who takes that lightly. I don't want any woman to be upset, but especially not because of something stupid that I did.
I was a total asshole the other night, and I need to make things right. So that's why I went through painstaking effort to surprise her tonight. I left a note in her room asking her to go on a date with me. I don't know if she'll meet me at seven like the note requested or not, but I'm standing nervously in the foyer of the mansion dressed up in a penguin suit and sweating my balls off from being so freaking nervous.
This is my first official date, like, ever. And even though we can't leave the island, I still did my best to plan something special. But if she refuses to come downstairs, then I really can't show her how sorry I am.
As seven comes and goes, I begin to get discouraged. Maria, always the ultimate optimist, pokes her head around the corner at ten after seven and tells me, "Don't worry. She'll be here. Women always run late. It keeps the men on their toes, you know."
And almost like Maria's optimism summoned her, Katya finally appears at the top of the stairs. She looks like a golden goddess with her blonde hair in waves past her shoulders and wearing a tight, short, gold, sequin dress that emphasizes all of her best assets. She has legs for days, and the weight she's put on the past several days while she's been here looks great on her.
She approaches me with a shy smile on her beautiful face. "You look stunning, Katya," I tell her immediately.
"You clean up pretty well yourself, Jax," she tells me with a wink.
I hold out my arm, and she wraps her slender hand around it. We walk outside to where the gazebo is lit up with thousands of little, twinkling lights. Lucien wined and dined Adeline out here one night, and I know she absolutely loved it. I'm just hoping Katya enjoys it just as much.
When I glance down at my golden goddess, she's looking all around and smiling the biggest smile I've ever seen on her beautiful face before.
Yeah, I totally nailed it, I think to myself confidently.
"One more surprise," I tell her before pulling out a long box from my inner jacket pocket.
Katya narrows her eyes suspiciously at me. She still doesn't trust a single thing I do or say, but I'm working on changing that. In time, she'll trust me. We'll trust each other.
She cautiously opens the lid and gasps when she sees the light glittering off the diamonds inside. "Jax," she gasps and lets her voice trail off. Carefully, she pulls the gold anklet from the box and glances up at me. "This is for me?"
"No, it's for Maria. I just wanted to see if you liked it before I gave it to her," I quip while maintaining a straight face.
And then Katya does something so out of the ordinary for her that it makes my heart skip a beat inside my chest.
She laughs.
I smile down at her, simply in awe of her natural beauty. She's truly amazing when she's not forcing anything.
Kneeling down on one knee in the grass, I ask, "May I?" with my hand stretched out.
She nods before slipping the anklet into my palm, apparently completely speechless.
Another first for her.
Slowly, I take her slender ankle in my other hand. And fuck, I didn't think it would be this erotic until I realize my growing hard-on is pressing painfully against the zipper of my pants.
My fingers trail against her soft and delicate skin before I fasten the clasp. The diamonds dance in the light around her ankle, and it's like it was made just for her.
"Perfect," I tell her before standing up and staring into her gorgeous blue eyes.
"Thank you for the gift, Jax," she whispers.
I flash her a smile. It's so much more than a gift, but I don't want to spoil the moment. I have an ulterior motive for the anklet, which contains a GPS chip, so that I can track Katya's whereabouts even after she leaves the island.
It was Lucien's idea since he gave something similar to Adeline in the form of a watch. But the anklet isn't as sophisticated as Lucien's handmade creation. I mean, that thing tracks Adeline'
s blood pressure, precise location and lots of other cool stuff. Mine's nothing near as specialized or high-tech, but it will do until Lucien can craft me something better.
"I'm glad you like it," I tell her before turning and pulling out Katya's chair at the small round table inside the gazebo. She sits down and beams up at me. Then, I retreat to the other side and pour us both a glass of wine before having a seat.
It's an intimate setting, and it's beyond intimidating for someone like me, who has never done anything like this before. Although, I'm not sure exactly how many dates Katya has been on. Maybe this is new for her too. There are so many unanswered questions I have for her, and I intend on finding out some answers very soon.
Our meal is promptly brought out, and it consists of grilled salmon, baby zucchini and rice pilaf. I picked the menu out earlier tonight. I just hope it's up Katya's alley.
But when she starts digging in and moaning with her eyes rolling up to the heavens above, I know I totally nailed it again.
Damn, I'm kinda good at this whole dating thing. I'd always been too scared to try before; but with Katya, things just seem to come naturally. And I find myself wanting to try. For her.
"Everything is delicious, Jax," she tells me with a smile.
She's been smiling all night, and I could definitely get used to seeing it on her pretty face. I don't think she's ever smiled this much, and I know that's a good sign.
After dinner, Maria brings out two of the biggest pieces of tiramisu I've ever seen in my life. And, surprisingly enough, Katya and I both devour the giant dessert in record time.
We both sit back in our seats, full and seemingly happy. But there's still something I need to do to make this night complete.
"Katya," I begin. "I'm sorry about the other night. I acted like a complete asshole. It's just…I've never…" I stop to clear my throat and take a swig of wine. Why is this so fucking hard?
Katya leans across the table and places her hand on top of mine. "It's okay, Jax. Whatever you need to tell me…just tell me."
"I've never done this before," I blurt out, waving my hand in the air.
"What? Had dinner?" she asks with a grin.
She's toying with me, trying to make light of the situation. And fuck, it's working. I crack a grin and tell her, "I've never been on a date with a woman before."
Her blonde brows rise in surprise on her beautiful face. "Oh," she says, sitting back in her seat.
I instantly miss the warmth of her touch, but I need to keep spilling my secrets, so that she understands me. "My mother left when I was young, and I think it caused some issues later on in my life."
"So you're afraid to be intimate with a woman because she might turn around and leave or hurt you," Katya says.
What is she, a fucking psychiatrist? "That's exactly right," I confess.
"So you watch other people who are in love because there's no chance of you getting too involved…of you getting hurt."
I nod. Fuck, she's good.
"A lot of relationships end in heartache, Jax," she whispers. "But sometimes you have to just throw yourself out there and not worry about the what ifs. Focus on every moment when you're with that person and just hope for the best."
I sit back in my chair and think about what she just said. She's absolutely right. I've never given a woman a chance before because I was too focused on what the future held. I could never be present with anyone, because I was too worried about when she would leave and break my fucking heart.
Gripping my wine glass, I take another sip. I feel like I've been cracked open. I feel fucking vulnerable.
And as if sensing my trepidation, Katya willingly offers me another piece of her puzzle. "My father liked to gamble. When he ran out of money, he used me as collateral. He lost to a very powerful man who was involved with the Bratva. And that is how I came to be married to Pavel."
The man she murdered won her in a card game. It's almost inconceivable. "How old were you?" I ask even though I fear I'm not going to like her answer.
"Sixteen," she whispers solemnly.
I'm floored by her response, so taken aback that I can't even speak for a good five minutes after that. She was only sixteen years old when her father turned her over to an obviously old, fat and unattractive man. She was just a young girl…and she was forced to marry him, stay with him for…how many years?
As if reading my mind, Katya tells me, "We were married for ten years. Ten years of my life that bastard stole from me. Ten years I'll never get back." A shadow crosses her features as she says, "I'd like to say the abuse didn't start until recently, but I would be lying. Pavel was a cruel man from the start. He took my virginity after beating me bloody with his belt." She cringes as if recalling the memory. "He would lock me in the basement, starve me for days or weeks at a time. I stayed alive by drinking dirty rainwater that trickled in through the cracks of the foundation."
As if recalling her voracious thirst, she takes a long swig of wine before continuing. "The abuse got worse from there. It started out with punches and kicks, but soon turned to burning me with his Cuban cigars and cutting me with his extensive knife collection. He never used the same one twice," she whispers hauntingly. "He thought he could break me, put me in my place. He wanted a living, breathing doll. But I refused to break. And the more I refused, the crueler he became." She shudders and wraps her arms around herself.
As her words slowly sink in, I become more and more irate. Had I known what that bastard was, what he'd done to her…fuck, I would have killed him myself that night.
All this time I thought Katya was in the wrong, a bad person. But she was only trying to survive in a cruel, cruel world.
"Katya," I say, my voice hoarse and chock full of emotion. Her beautiful blues meet my gaze as I tell her, "If I had known, I would have killed him with my bare fucking hands that night."
She gives me a small smile. "It took me ten long years to earn enough of his trust that we stayed in a hotel room without his bodyguards stationed in the same room or outside in the hallways. I knew I would only have one chance at being free, and so I took it." Her stare turns molten as she says, "You have to understand that I wanted to kill him. I'm glad I did it. And I would do it again if given the chance." And then she adds with a smirk, "Although I would've made him suffer more the second time around."
"I do understand." She thinks she's going to turn me away, that I'm going to think she's some kind of monster. But I think the exact opposite. I think she's the bravest, fiercest, most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.
And I know exactly how she feels about wanting to kill Pavel. I'm feeling that sense of revenge right now myself over the men who took Adeline.
Standing up, I outstretch my hand to her. She hesitantly places her hand in mine, and I pull her upright, bringing her close to me. A shocked gasp escapes her full lips as she looks up at me in surprise.
"Thank you for telling me the truth," I tell her.
She opens her mouth to speak, but now is not the time for words. I want to show her how incredible I think she is and how grateful I am that she let me into her world.
My fingertips weave into her hair as I draw her closer to me, crushing my lips to hers. She's tense at first, but soon she's kissing me back with just as much fervor.
Her secrets bind us. And I know in that moment that it's going to be very hard for me to ever let her go.
CHAPTER 24
KATYA
HIS KISS IS demanding and all-consuming, and it takes my breath away. I feel like I'm floating up into the night sky as he grips the back of my head harder and draws me even closer. I willingly crush my body against him, wanting to be as close as possible to this man.
I told him my secrets. He didn't even have to pry them out of me. I gave them willingly. And that says a lot about how I feel about him. In some weird, messed up way, I've grown fond of Jackson. I never thought I could even like a man, given my past, but Jackson has inched his way inside of me. And I don't t
hink I'm going to get rid of him any time soon.
I moan into his mouth, and he swallows it down. He takes full of advantage of my lips parting and delves his tongue into my mouth, completely possessing every inch of me.
And I love it.
I feel safe and warm in his arms. It's a sanctuary I never want to leave, but I know deep down it's only temporary.
Pulling back from him, we're both left panting and wanting.
"You kiss like our plane is going down and the world is on fire," I tell him honestly, trying to catch my breath.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," he says with a smirk.
Laughing, I playfully slap him in the chest. He slowly releases me, and I feel unsteady on my feet. He literally made me weak in the knees, and I never thought I would ever experience that. There's just something about Jax that makes me forget all the bad things when I'm with him. And that is a remarkable thing.
Taking a few steps backwards, I ask him, "If I run, would you chase me?"
"Yes," he answers with no hesitation, and I can see his pupils dilate.
Jackson is clearly intrigued. He's turned on by the prospect of chasing me down, just like he was when we first met.
And I can't help but confess…I am as well.
I'm upping this game between us a notch, but I don't think that he'll mind one bit. He enjoyed chasing me in the streets of Sicily. I remember how hard he was when he pinned me to the ground. There was no hesitation, no fear in his eyes then. He wasn't second-guessing things.
I slowly back away from him. "What will you do to me if you catch me, Jax?" I ask sultrily.
His eyes narrow as he takes a few steps forward, matching my pace. "You mean when I catch you," he corrects me.
"When?" I ask innocently, continuing to backtrack, my footsteps growing quicker. I'm almost to the beach now.
"When I catch you…I'll make you wish you hadn't run from me in the first place," Jax threatens, his voice coming out rough.
He thinks his threat will turn me off, make me not want to run. But he couldn't be more wrong. It turns me the hell on…more than I want to admit.
Watching Her: A Dark Romance (Keep Me Series Book 3) Page 9