He laughed hard and I thought I would be mortified. But his laugh made me laugh.
“Yes, I spell it with an e. You?”
“Me too! I learned how to spell it from the Jack bottles that were always around growing up.”
As I reflected on the awkward exchange that just took place, I shook my head. I’ve never been this dumb over a sexy man before. Am I drunk? Is he drunk? If I’m not drunk and this is just my body talking for my brain, I’m going to say I’m drunk. Hmmm well he’s on his way to being drunk too, I’m sure. So if he ever brings up the time I gave him a spelling test, I’m going to deny it, I decided silently.
“Between you and me, my dad drinks everything,” Xavier muttered good-naturedly, the truth floating in a sea of comedy. “And immediately after he drinks, he becomes intolerable. That’s why I took a job in London immediately after college.”
I opened my mouth to ask about his dad, but suddenly the crowd started chanting a name I couldn’t quite make out. A couple thousand people dancing and screaming vibrated faintly in the background. And I was completely satisfied in this bar bubble with Xavier.
As he licked the whiskey from his lips, I took a moment to really look at him and my heart drummed, mimicking the beat coming from the speakers. Putting the glass down, Xavier smiled ever so slightly.
“Do you think we keep running into each other for a reason?” Xavier inquired.
Brushing off the question and the feeling that it caused within me, I retorted, “Are you drunk?”
“I know what I’m asking you.”
I stared at him dubiously. “What are you asking me?”
He took another sip and before he sat the glass down, he looked at me in a way that made my heart flutter.
Reaching his hand out, he tucked my hair behind my ear and answered, “Do you feel it?”
The instant he touched me, I felt sparks. And I trembled.
“Um, I should go.” I maneuvered off of the barstool and avoided eye contact. My voice shook as I said, “I don’t know what’s going on but it needs to stop.”
“I’m not sure I understand you.” Xavier sounded confused, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
I backed away from the bar. Once I was at least five feet away from him, I assumed I was far enough away to make eye contact and not get swept up again. I was wrong so I took another step back.
Gesturing between us, I said, “This can’t happen. This is not happening. We can be friends, cordial-in-the-hallway-at-work type of friends. But nothing else because…you… have a girlfriend.” I rushed the last three words because it was almost painful to verbalize.
He opened his mouth as I continued. “And my boyfriend is waiting for me,” I lied, softening the blow to save face. “Thanks for the drinks. I appreciate it.”
Turning my back to him, I walked through the bar and out the door. It was necessary and it needed to be done, I thought decisively. I pretended I didn’t feel my heart constrict when I heard him call my name.
**********
Chapter 14: Autumn
I’ve never felt anything like this, I thought as I pulled a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator. I’m completely enamored by two men at the same time. And one of them, I’ve never met before. That’s weird. Right? This situation is unreal. But what if it’s not?
I looked at the cream, silk dress that I dropped in the kitchen wastebasket. What I felt with Derrick was a rollercoaster of emotions. It was dramatic, with all the highs and lows. But what I feel for the men in my life now is more like a slow burn. My feelings for Jordan are growing despite every attempt to keep them at bay. And my feelings for Boris are consuming me. Maybe it’s because all we can do is talk on the phone and get to know each other at this point, but I feel like I know Boris better than I ever knew Derrick.
Finishing the water, I tossed the bottle on top of the dress in the wastebasket and ran back up the steps. Hearing the tail end of the buzz from my phone, I hurried into my room and picked it up off of the night stand. Heat immediately warmed my skin when I saw I had a text message from Boris.
Boris: I know this is last minute but I would love to take you out tomorrow night. I just got confirmation that my two managers are working together tomorrow so I should be able to get away without things falling apart.
Autumn Jones: Oh no! I mean, that’s good that they are working together again and Milton is back from paternity leave. But remember I told you that I had plans all this weekend. Our schedules are not working well together and that makes me sad. Even though I love getting to know you like this, not being able to see you is making me restless.
My phone vibrated in my hand immediately. I smiled when I saw Boris’s name flash across the screen.
“Hello?” I answered giddily. I loved hearing his deep, sexy voice.
“Not being able to see you is making me crazy,” he responded without hesitation.
“Is that right?” I giggled as I stretched out across my bed.
“Two weeks ago, I asked you out on a date. All I knew about you is that you are beautiful, you like to read in your spare time and that your best friend doesn’t take no for an answer. That was enough for me to ask you out, but now that I’ve gotten to know you, seeing you in the flesh and spending time with you are necessities. I need to take you out on a date.”
My stomach fluttered as I exhaled shakily. “Wow… do you have a script you’re reading from? Everything you say is perfect. You’re like Prince Charming.”
He chuckled, “Didn’t you also call me that the other day? I can’t wait until I can tell you my real name.”
“Is your real name Charming?” I asked in a teasing whisper.
“No, but between Boris and Prince Charming, the bar is set pretty high.”
“Boris just sums up your outward appearance. And Prince Charming is all of the sweet things you say that sound like they’re straight out of a romance novel. But the man who puts a smile on my face without even being near me, the man who speaks so highly of his parents and grandparents…the intelligent and interesting man that you are is the man that I have feelings for. That’s the man I can’t wait to see.”
Nerves seized me as silence followed my rambling admission. I like him. But maybe I just should’ve responded to his statement by saying ‘yes,’ I thought as I sat up in the middle of my bed. I tucked my feet under me and continued, “Well, now that I’ve sufficiently embarrassed myself, I’m going to go. I have to get dressed.”
I heard him let out a breath into the phone. “You realize you just made this even harder for me, right?” he stated slowly. He let another breath out before elaborating, “And if it wasn’t clear, I have feelings for you too. I like you a lot, Autumn.”
His admission caused an uptick in my heart rate. Smiling, I shook my head. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around how I can have these feelings for you and we’ve never even met.”
“I’ve never had this happen before either. So this is new for both of us,” Boris responded.
“You’ve never been on a blind date before?” I asked, curiously.
“Not officially. When I was a little younger, if a friend would say I’m hanging out with a girl and she has a friend, will you come out? I might go. But as an adult, I’ve never really made time to date, let alone to meet a stranger.”
“Why not?” I asked, knowing the answer already.
“I’m a workaholic,” he answered simply. “But you knew that.”
I smiled. “Yes, I did. But the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.”
He chuckled. “You’re right. So are you part of my twelve-step program?”
“I’m your sponsor,” I joked.
“Well then, what do you suggest?” he asked, the amusement still evident in his voice.
“Instead of putting work first all the time, put yourself first.”
“My work is me. When I work, I feel my grandfather’s wisdom and my father’s business sense in everything
I do. That’s why I put everything I have into my businesses. My blood, sweat, and tears went into my work so I could cope with everything life has thrown at me. I feel that the time I spend working is making me a better man because I feel so connected to my legacy when I’m working.”
It was my first time hearing him speak about work as an extension of his family and my heart broke for him. “I understand,” I said gently.
“I do realize it takes a lot of my time though,” he admitted. “And I wish I had more time to devote to my personal life.”
“Do you think you have time to be in a relationship?” I asked as my heart pounded in my chest.
His answer mattered. Everything I was starting to feel, I couldn’t keep feeling if he didn’t have the time or energy to put into a relationship. Too many people commit themselves to things they don’t have the time to put into for follow through, and I don’t want to be that for him. So I need to know before it gets any deeper than this, I thought nervously.
“I…don’t know,” he confessed. “I work long hours. I travel a lot. I usually won’t know ahead of time if I’m able to get away. I…” He trailed off and we both fell silent. Disappointment settled in my bones.
“I get it. No worries. I’m sorry I asked. Please forget I said anything. I have to go. I was in the middle of getting dressed.”
“Autumn, don’t do that… don’t take it back. You have every right to ask that question,” he whispered. The quiet strength in his voice caused the knot in my stomach to tighten.
“I have to go.” My voice sounded foreign to my own ears. Clearing my throat, I continued, “I can call you when I get back home or you can call me when you get home. We can just talk later.”
“Autumn, I—”
“I need to go. I’m sorry. Goodbye,” I interrupted before disconnecting the call.
Dropping back onto my pillow, I let out a discontented groan. “I wanted the truth and I got it,” I mumbled under my breath as I stared at the ceiling. “Better now than later.”
My phone vibrated on the bed beside me. I flipped it over so I couldn’t see who it was and rolled onto my side. Looking at the clock, I realized that it had gotten late. Reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, I forced the conversation with Boris out of my head.
The whole purpose of Summer’s little game is for us to figure out what it is that we want, what it is that we’re looking for. I’ve met some awesome men in Boris and Jordan. So who knows what other winners I will meet! I only have a few more dates left and I will make the most out of them, I thought, giving myself a pep talk. Even if the last three didn’t go well, the rest could be amazing!
Sunday’s date with Donovan sucked because I was slightly hung over from clubbing at Dirty Dozen the night before. But honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d take a once in a lifetime performance at an exclusive club with close friends over a lame dinner date any day.
Wednesday’s date with Maxwell didn’t go well because Maxwell was all over the place. Don’t take me to a museum to impress me with your knowledge of art under the guise that you are an art lover and then have no knowledge of art or interest in looking at the artwork, I thought, laughing to myself. Pretending to be something you’re not is a quick way to be dismissed from my life.
Thursday’s date with Travis didn’t work for me because he was too young. I understand that he’s a talented artist. But when he offered me wine in a red solo cup, I realized that twenty-two was a little too young for me. And that’s what I learned from that date. No men under twenty-five.
So even though the last three dates were a bust, I chose to be excited about the date with Shemar. I hyped myself up while I looked for something to wear. Deciding to wear skin tight jeans and a sexy top with heels, I was dressed in no time.
“Summer!” I called out when I heard the front door slam shut.
“Hey!” she called back. A few minutes later, she stomped up the steps. “Where are you?”
“I’m in the bathroom.” I said as I was trying to put the finishing touches on my hair. When I saw her in the mirror, I asked, “What do you think of my hair like this?”
“Looks good. With it up like that, you can really see the sexy cutouts in the back of the shirt.”
“That’s exactly what I was going for!”
As we headed out of the bathroom, I noticed her photography bags in her hand. “Did you go to the office today?”
She put her bags down and started unpacking them. “Uh, yeah. I went in for a little bit. I had a shoot.”
“You’ve been doing everything you can to stay away from Infinity. But eventually you’re going to have to go in at a normal time. You know that right?”
“Yes, but not if I’m on assignment. And all next week I have to be in the office selecting the best of the best and coordinating with the writers. So since they need their photos, they aren’t concerned about me not being there that much this week,” Summer informed me as she busied herself around her room. I watched her for a minute as she did everything she could to not make eye contact with me.
“You can’t hide from him forever,” I pointed out, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.
She started repacking her photography bag before she spoke. “Hide from who?”
“Come on, Summer. The morning after our night out at Dirty Dozen, when you told me about you and Xavier, I’d never seen you like that.”
Turning around to face me, she stared at me blankly. “I was hung over.” Her voice was flat and void of emotion, but her eyes told another story.
“Were you hung over or were you sick over walking away from the one guy you’ve ever felt something for?”
“First, I don’t even know him that well. Second, I am not into cheating or cheaters. If you’ll recall, my most recent boyfriend cheated on me. My parents cheated on each other. Xavier is with someone, and regardless of what I may have felt between us, I don’t want someone else’s man.”
I sighed as she looked at me with wide eyes. She didn’t look like she was going to cry, but I knew her well enough to know when she was burying her emotions.
“I completely understand that,” I began softly, “but as I told you on Sunday, you don’t know for sure that they are together. You never asked him. You told him you had a boyfriend and then walked away. I’m not saying go after someone else’s man; I’m saying find out if he is someone else’s man before you walk away. You’ve never admitted to feeling anything like what you were describing to me. That’s not something to just throw away.”
“So are you excited about meeting Shemar?” Summer abruptly changed the subject.
Rolling my eyes, I stood up and replied, “Not as excited as I am about you having a conversation with Xavier instead of avoiding him.”
As I walked toward the door of her bedroom, she mumbled, “I’m not avoiding him.”
“So go back to work before you get fired!” I called over my shoulder.
“I have to be in the office on Monday at 9 a.m.”
“Good!”
Entering my bedroom, I grabbed my oversized handbag and my cellphone. Walking past her bedroom on my way downstairs, I stuck my head in the door let her know I was about to leave. Looking at her unmoving body lying across her bed, I glanced around the room. “Are you still going out with your date tonight?”
“Yeah. He pushed the time back so I have a little more time.” She sat up on her elbows and looked at me. “We’re in the final stretch. Only three more dates—tonight, tomorrow night, and Sunday night.”
“Well, that’s four for me since I’ve never been on an actual date with Boris.”
“What’s that about? If you two would ever nail down a date, you would be so perfect together.”
And that chance may never come, I contemplated before pushing the thought out of my mind.
I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn’t feel. “He’s too busy for a date or a relationship. Work stuff. I’ll tell you more later. I need to head to my
third date at FX.”
Saying goodbye, I took a taxi downtown. Arriving at the restaurant so early, I had missed the majority of the after-work crowd, yet I was too early for the Friday night crowd. With only a very short line, I sauntered over to the doorman. He smiled in recognition although he didn’t greet me by name.
“Hey, I remember you. What’s the reservation under?”
I laughed, “Hi! I know I’ve been here a lot recently. Don’t judge me.”
“No judgment here, miss.” He smiled and held up his hands.
Feeling the need to explain, I clarified, “I am going on a series of first dates and a few of them have picked FX as the date location.”
The big man with the adorable smile said, “It’s none of my business. As long as you are having a good time and enjoying the food, that’s all that matters.”
“I just didn’t want you to think…” I trailed off.
I didn’t want him to think what? I’m easy? I’m a whore? I date a whole lot of guys at the same time? Why does it matter what he thinks? Like he pointed out—it’s none of his business, I realized silently. Someone else’s opinion shouldn’t determine what I do or say as long as it makes me happy.
Taking my silence to mean I was offended, the doorman continued. “You’ve been here what? Three, maybe four times. Last offseason, one of our very own professional basketball players would come here every night with a different girl. So don’t worry. I didn’t judge him and I’m certainly not judging you.”
“Okay good,” I responded uneasily. “The reservation is under Shemar.”
“Oh wow. Go in and tell the hostess that you are in one of the private dining rooms.”
What is the private dining room? I questioned silently. Drawing my eyebrows together in confusion, I hesitantly walked away.
“That’s him. That’s the ball player who brought all of his dates here last summer,” the doorman hissed. As I looked over my shoulder, I saw a tall, well-dressed man with tattoos on both arms and the kind of raw magnetism that women generally flocked to.
Autumn and Summer Page 16
