His eyes flicked to me and narrowed.
“I was hoping we could continue our conversation from last week… in private.”
Dante rested his arm across the back of my chair and wrapped his hand around my shoulder.
“Liora’s part of this now so whatever you have to say, you can do it in front of her.”
My heart soared and then abruptly came crashing back down to earth. Whilst I was glad Dante wanted to include me in whatever his family shit was, I was also aware I was still very much a pawn in this game. I might be in love with Dante, but that didn’t change the fact that I had to stay here or Zach would take me and break me.
In love with Dante. Had I just admitted it to myself?
He’d captured my heart and I was pretty sure I’d caught his too.
“Well if you’re going to be like that, then you can start by explaining what exactly is going on between the two of you.”
I eyed Dante whose expression didn’t change. He just stared at James with unnerving intensity.
“Her father owed Zach a debt. Liora was payment for it.”
“What the fuck? You can’t give up your child as a debt, that’s insane.”
“This is Zach we’re talking about.”
“Dad’s crazy, but not that… that’s fucked up.” His eyes fell on me again. “Did you know this?”
I shook my head. I had no idea and I really wasn’t sure how I felt about it either. Dante’s hand on my shoulder tightened but he didn’t look at me. I stared down at my bowl, trying to work out why, if I was the payment, Zach had given me to his son.
“You didn’t even tell her the truth? What the fuck is wrong with you, Dante? Why would you go along with this? I get that you’re in with Dad, but this is a whole new low, even for you.”
That was the one thing I did know. He’d done it because he wanted me. Dante didn’t speak but I saw his fist clench in his lap.
“Well, are you going to explain why her father was indebted to ours? Explain why the fuck you went along with it and fucked up her life because I’m pretty damn sure she wasn’t on board with this shit if she didn’t even know she was a debt.”
Dante ignored his brother, instead he turned to me. His blue eyes were dark and full of anguish. My heart was in my mouth as he encouraged me to turn in my chair. He took both of my hands in his.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I couldn’t open my mouth. I was sure whatever he said next would completely destroy me, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t run away.
“Zach had a younger brother, Zander. He died in a shooting accident when he was twenty. Except it wasn’t an accident at all. You see, your mother, Heather, she was his fiancée. Her, Angus and Zander knew each other from university. The way Zach tells it… they had all gone on a shooting party in the Highlands and well, Zach was pretty sure Angus had a thing for Heather even though Zander was his best friend. After Zander died, he discovered they were seeing each other behind Zander’s back, which is a part of this.”
I felt sick. If what Dante was telling me was right, then something really fucked up at happened.
“On this shooting party… your father, Angus, shot Zander in the back. He died shortly after; paramedics were unable to save his life. Angus claimed it was an accident, but Zach made him admit it wasn’t and the truth about him and your mother. In exchange for not telling the police, Zach made him agree he would give up his first born child and he or she would become payment for what Zach saw as a blood debt. And Zach would give that child to his first born if he or she wanted them.”
I wasn’t my father’s first born though. That was Declan. Except Dante wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot.
“As it obviously transpired, both Declan and I are male and as I’m not interested in men, I refused when Zach told me about this. But then he said Angus had a daughter and that if I wanted her, he would force Angus to pay the debt that way. I didn’t think anything of it. I wasn’t going to go through with his idiotic shit because I thought he was crazy. Blood debts don’t exist. We’re not living in some medieval society where it’s an eye for an eye.”
Dante’s hands tightened around mine.
“I was going to tell him to get fucked until I saw you. And that was it for me. I’d give up anything just to have you. Zach recognised I was instantly infatuated, so even though he agreed to call the debt in, he had stipulations and rules. I wanted you enough to agree to them. I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth. I’m sorry I pulled you into this mess. I’m sorry I put your life in danger. I’m just fucking sorry.”
The sincerity in his voice and his eyes broke something inside me. My heart fractured in two. I’d always known he’d gone along with it because he wanted me, but this was a step too far. The fact that my father had killed his own best friend was one thing, but blood debts were another. My father had given me up just so he could stay out of prison. It made me ill. I felt so betrayed. He would rather save his own skin than keep his children out of his mess.
“I’m not sorry for how I feel about you, Liora. I’m not sorry for all those moments we’ve shared with each other.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered, trying to hold back tears.
“I didn’t want you to hate me.”
I didn’t. I don’t think I ever could. I loved Dante, but it didn’t negate what he’d done. It didn’t change the fact that he’d kept this from me. That he’d gone along with it.
I pulled my hands out of his. I could see the agony in his expression, but I couldn’t do this.
“Liora—”
“Don’t, please, don’t.”
I stood up and backed away. I knew now why I’d held back from telling him about my feelings. From admitting them. Because of this. Because he hadn’t been honest with me about why I was here. He began to stand but I put a hand up.
“Do not follow me.”
I couldn’t with him. I had to get out of this room. Away from the man who’d stolen my heart and destroyed me in the process. My heart fractured and the open wound bled. Dante was nothing but the instigator of my ruination. He’d dragged me into his world. Taught me to accept I had dark desires and that they were okay because he had them too. That what I desired, craved wasn’t a sickness or something I should be ashamed of. He’d made me fall in love with him. Then he’d ripped the rug out from underneath me.
I turned and ran out of the room. I heard their voices as I tore through the kitchen.
“Well, you royally fucked that up,” James said.
“Don’t even start with me,” Dante growled back.
I didn’t want to hear anymore. I was out in the hall and running up the stairs, trying to stop the tears from falling. I ran face first into a solid chest on the first floor landing. Rubbing my head and taking a step back, I looked up.
“You’re in a bit of a rush… Hey… are you okay?” Brent asked, his brow furrowing.
“No, no… I need… Brent, I need you to help me.”
“Okay… What with?”
I gripped both of his arms, feeling panic rising in my chest.
“I need to get away from here. I can’t… I can’t be here. Not when… I need to just not be here. Please, Dante will kill me if I go out alone, so please, please take me somewhere, anywhere that’s not here.”
He tugged my hands off his forearms, his frown deepening.
“What did D do?”
“Please, Brent. I’m begging you. If I spend one more moment in this house, I’ll break wide open. Please.”
I could see the conflict in his eyes. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Fine. D is going to kill me, but fine. You’re going to tell me what happened though.”
He took my arm and brought me back downstairs. He helped me into a coat and shoes before opening the front door and ushering me out. We walked up the street a little way before he turned to me.
“Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know.”
I hadn’t really thought about it. All I knew was that staying in Dante’s house for one more minute would kill me inside. I needed to think clearly and get some space.
Brent tapped his foot for a moment before his eyes brightened.
“I know where I should take you.”
***
Half an hour later, we were wandering through a big pet shop together. I couldn’t help but smile. Brent knew I loved animals. We stopped where the rabbits were. I looked over the top of the enclosure, watching one of them chewing on a piece of lettuce.
“You going to tell me what happened?” Brent asked, leaning on some shelving.
“Dante told me why my dad gave me to him.”
“I see.”
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“I like you, Liora, but my loyalty is to D and always will be. I keep his secrets and it really wasn’t my place to say anything.”
“I know. I’m not upset with you.”
I sighed. I’d managed to keep it together in the car, but now, my heart was broken and I wasn’t sure how it could be repaired. Dante had kept too many things from me. I should’ve stayed and been there for him whilst he had it out with his brother, but I couldn’t. Not after that revelation.
“I keep asking myself how my dad could do such a thing, but I’m beginning to think I’ve never really known him at all.”
“Sometimes people do questionable things when backed into a corner.”
“I need answers Dante can’t give me. Answers from my parents about what really happened. I don’t completely trust what Zach said.”
“You know D will kill me if I let you speak to your dad.”
I nodded. I had to get permission first, which was ridiculous because I was my own woman. Except Dante had control over me in ways I didn’t realise possible. No matter how much it hurt right now, I was still his. I still wanted to please him. Make him happy. Do what he said.
And that made me completely fucked up.
“I didn’t know you were back,” I said, changing the subject.
He’d been away dealing with some stuff with his sister. It hadn’t really occurred to me until now.
“I got in this morning. Look, I know this whole thing is really fucked up and I told D it would go to hell if he kept the truth from you, but he cares about you. He didn’t want to hurt you. Zach wanted to take you straight away, but D gave you three years. He wanted you to finish your degree because Angus told him how important it was to you.”
“I was there the day Dante decided he wanted me.”
“I know, but they were aware you were at Uni before that. D knew everything about you, at least everything Angus was willing to tell him.”
I wasn’t sure if that made me feel any better or not. My degree was important to me, but now I was never going to be able to use it. Dante had taken that away from me. All I’d ever wanted to do was work with animals and now I was his prisoner instead. A willing prisoner, but a prisoner all the same.
“I don’t want to go back to the house, Brent, but if Zach finds out I’m gone, he’ll make Dante and me suffer for it.”
I looked up at him. He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I have a second bedroom in the basement, you can stay with me tonight, okay?”
“You’re going to tell him I’m there, aren’t you?”
“I have to, but I won’t let him down to see you. I get it. You need time. I think anyone would after finding that shit out about their parents.”
“Thank you.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d do without Brent. He might be Dante’s friend, but he was helping me all the same. For that I was grateful. He was the only person I had here other than Dante. There was no one else I could turn to.
“You ready to go?”
I shook my head.
“Can we go look at the fish?”
He grinned.
“Of course, just let me call him, okay?”
I nodded, knowing it’d be worse for the both of us if he didn’t.
I hoped I could get past this revelation because my life without Dante would be bleak. Not only had he opened up my eyes to who I really was, he’d shown me compassion and, dare I say it… love. Not the love you felt for your family or your friends, but all consuming love which tears your heart to pieces and drowns you.
That’s what my desire for him had grown into.
Love.
I needed that love. I craved it. That connection. That spark.
I couldn’t deny it any longer.
I wanted him. I needed him. I loved Dante.
And I couldn’t live without him.
Chapter Twenty
Dante
I knew everything was going to fall apart the moment I told her, but I didn’t imagine it would hurt this much to have her walk out on me. My heart felt like it had been ripped into tiny little pieces and scattered at my feet. And James telling me I’d fucked up wasn’t helping. I knew that. The look in Liora’s eyes was like shards of glass slicing into my skin. She trusted me and I’d betrayed that.
“I’m just saying,” James said.
“Well don’t.”
“Hey, don’t take it out on me. I’m not the one who went along with Dad’s fucked up plans.”
I turned to him.
“You really have no fucking clue. Did you think I wanted to go along with it?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Are you really telling me she was worth it?”
“Yes. She’s worth everything. For fuck’s sake, James, I’m in love with her.”
His eyes widened as I heard the front door slam. I was on my feet immediately. What the fuck? Was she leaving me? She couldn’t. Not with Zach still on our case. I took one step towards the door when James’ voice brought me up short.
“I might not know Liora, but she told you not to follow her. I think you should listen.”
He was right, but she was in danger if she’d just walked out on me.
“You don’t understand. If she leaves me and Zach finds out, he’ll take her and he’ll ruin her completely.”
“Does she know that?”
“Yes.”
“Then she won’t have left you.”
“How do you know?”
“She values her life. If she didn’t, she would’ve walked out the second you took her and never looked back.”
I clenched my fists. Again, he was right. I hated it. All I wanted was to go after her. Beg for her forgiveness. Tell her how much she meant to me. How much I cared for her. How much I goddamn loved her. And that I’d destroy my own father just so she could be free if that’s what she really wanted. If she wanted to be free of me, when I’d dealt with Zach, I’d let her go no matter how much it hurt.
I’d lost myself completely to her. My head. My heart. My body. My fucking soul. All of it was Liora’s. It should terrify me that a single girl brought me completely to my knees, but it didn’t any longer. Last night hadn’t been about sex. Liora and I made love, over and over again. Proving how deeply we were bound to each other.
I sat down, placing my hands on the table. Liora wanted space. Needed to process what I’d told her. And I needed to concentrate on having things out with James.
“You wanted to continue our conversation from last time,” I said.
Everything inside me screamed, raged, ranted, but I kept a lid on it. I took a steadying breath. I had to trust she would eventually understand why I’d kept it from her.
“How come Dad never told me or the twins we had an uncle?”
I looked up at James.
“Zach might be a heartless piece of shit, but I think Zander was the only person he cared about. At least the way he talked about him made it seem that way. There was only a couple of years between them.”
“I’ve never understood why you do
n’t call him, Dad.”
I flinched. He didn’t deserve it.
“Why would I call a man who terrorised me as a child that? He’s not been a father to any of us. Fuck, James, he still does it. Uses everything to keep me in line.”
The truth was spilling out and I couldn’t stop it. The need to unburden myself pulsed in my veins. To make James understand everything I’d done was because I cared too fucking much.
“You think I wanted to ruin our relationship with each other? Do you really think I hate you? I don’t. Fuck. You’re my brother. I never wanted any of this, but you have no idea what Zach is capable of. You didn’t suffer the worst of it and you know why that is? Because I protected you. I made sure he took out his shit on me and not on you and the girls. When he realised how much I cared about the three of you, he hurt you to get back at me. Me and her.”
Our mother. She suffered the worst of it. The brunt of his abuse until she died.
James’ eyes widened, but he didn’t speak.
“You want to know the truth? Are you sure you’re prepared for it? I won’t be able to take it back. It can’t be unsaid.”
It had destroyed me, so I knew it would hurt him too. There was one thing I couldn’t tell him. Not yet. But the rest? I’d share it with him if he was willing to listen. Willing to try to understand.
“Tell me,” he whispered.
“You know he beat her? Beat her until she was a bloody mess and couldn’t go out for weeks. You didn’t understand because you were too young, but I did. I saw. He forced me to watch. It only started after you were born. He used to come home in such a rage and he took it out on her. Then he started taking it out on me too. He did it because he thought she loved me more than him. Loved all of us more than him.”
I looked down at my hands, unable to meet his gaze any longer. The memories flooded my mind. His taunts. His fists. The bruises. The blood.
“He beat me so brutally I couldn’t stand to have anyone touch me. Not even Mum. When she cleaned me up afterwards, I’d wince and hiss, trying to get away from her. What type of man does that to his own son? Makes him hate the touch of others?”
I shook my head. A fucked up, worthless piece of shit. That’s what our father was.
Provoked Page 22
