Just Can't Get Enough

by Hodges, Cheris

  Celina felt like a little child being chastised by a teacher. She glared at Darius. “I’m going home, alone,” she said.

  “Celina,” he said as she sprinted down the street. “Celina.”

  She turned around and looked at him. “You know what, I don’t need you telling me how to feel or how to think.” She waved her hands in the air. “Just leave me alone.”

  “I’m not going to do that, because I love you.”

  “So what,” she snapped. “That doesn’t give you the right to dictate how I am supposed to mourn my father.”

  Darius grabbed Celina’s arms. “That’s not what I’m trying to do. I want to support you, but you have to let me.”

  She pushed away from him. “No, I don’t,” she said, then stormed away.

  CHAPTER 22

  Three days had passed since Celina and Darius had their argument. He tried calling her, but she wouldn’t answer the phone. Rena told Darius to give her daughter some time to come to terms with everything, but he was tired of waiting.

  Darius called Richard at the store and told him he wouldn’t be in.

  “I guess you’re going to Thomas Hart’s funeral?” Richard said.

  “Yeah,” Darius said, even though he wasn’t aware when the funeral was. “Call me if there’s an emergency.”

  “All right, boss. Send my condolences to the family,” Richard said before hanging up.

  Darius looked out the window at the Hart house. A stream of visitors had been pouring in and out of the house all morning. Darius walked onto the porch and stared next door, hoping to see Celina. Rena walked outside and looked at Darius.

  “Darius McRae, stop staring and come over here. She may not admit it, but she needs you.”

  “Mrs. Malcolm, Celina needs her space.”

  “No, she needs a swift kick in the . . . Darius, I love my daughter, but ever since she found out about Velma and Thomas, she has been trying to push you out of her life. Don’t let her do that.”

  Darius shrugged his shoulders. “What can I do? She won’t talk to me.”

  Rena placed her hands on her hips. “Put your black suit on and get over here. Don’t make me come over there and get you, son. I know what my daughter needs and it’s you.”

  Darius laughed. “Yes ma’am,” he said as he headed into the house to put on his black suit.

  Moments later, Darius walked over to the Hart house, holding his breath as he walked in the front door. He knew things were going to be hard for Celina today and he didn’t want to add to it. A few other well-wishers were sitting on the sofa, and he nodded toward them and headed for the kitchen to find Celina.

  She was standing next to the refrigerator with a carton of juice in her shaky hands. Striding over to her, he took it from her hand and set it on the counter. “Good morning,” he said.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice wavering as she spoke.

  “I came here because I don’t want you going through today alone,” he said. “You have a tendency to shut people out and you don’t need to do that today.”

  Celina fell into his arms. “I’m sorry about these last few days,” she said against his ear. “Thank you for being here.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m where I want to be. Celina, I love you and I know you need someone to lean on right now. I’m not holding you responsible for anything that you’ve said.”

  She looked into his eyes and smiled though her tears. “Still, I had no reason to be rude to you when all you’ve tried to do is help me.”

  Darius brought his finger to Celina’s lips. “None of that is important right now. Have you eaten?”

  Celina shook her head. “No, I don’t have the stomach to eat anything right now.”

  “Sit down and let me fix you that juice you were about to drink,” he said.

  She took a seat at the end of the table and watched Darius as he poured orange juice in a glass and even though she’d told him that she wasn’t hungry, he grabbed her a cheese Danish.

  Watching her, Darius thought she reminded him of a child, although she was elegantly dressed in a long black dress with matching gloves, and her hair pulled back in a bun. Her eyes had sadness in them, and she looked as if she would cry at any moment. Darius came over to her and placed the food and drink in front of her.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I hate this.”

  “What?” He asked as he stroked her hand.

  Celina rolled her eyes as a neighbor walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pastry.

  “All of these people here. Where were they when my dad was sick? He needed help and none of them were around. Now look at them, like vultures.”

  “Celina,” he said. “Maybe they didn’t know. I didn’t even know that Mr. H. was as sick as he was.”

  She pushed her breakfast aside and nodded. “You’re right.”

  Rena walked into the kitchen, dressed in a black and white dress that stopped below her knees. “Darius, did you get her to eat?” she asked.

  “I’m trying,” he replied.

  Rena patted Darius on his shoulder. “There are some blueberry muffins on the counter. Why don’t you and Celina share one?”

  “I’m fine,” Celina said, picking at the Danish that she had pushed away.

  “I’ll force-feed you if I have to. We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t want you to pass out on me,” Rena said.

  Celina rolled her eyes, then broke off a piece of the pastry and popped it in her mouth. “Happy?”

  Rena shook her head and then turned to Darius. “Please talk to her and make her eat,” she said as she headed into the living room to greet the guests.

  Darius slid his chair closer to Celina’s and held her close. “That wasn’t nice. You know your mother is only concerned about you,” he said.

  “I know, and I’ll apologize later.” She groaned and pushed her plate away. “I just want this day to be over.”

  Darius held her tighter. “It will be,” he said. “But you can’t rush it.”

  She leaned her head on his shoulder and cried. He stroked her back and whispered in her ear that everything would be all right.

  Pushing back from him, she looked at him as she wiped her eyes. “You know, I think the gallery should be named after my father.”

  “You still want to do that?” Darius was taken aback. He knew Celina was going to move back to New York after the funeral. “Are you going to stay here?”

  She nodded. “I don’t want to go back to New York. This is home now and if you’ll still have me, I want to be here with you.”

  “You don’t even have to question that,” he said. “I want you in my life forever, but this isn’t the time for that discussion.”

  Celina nodded in agreement.

  “The limo is waiting. We’d better go,” Rena said as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. The guests were filing out of the house ready to follow the family to the funeral home. Celina and Darius walked out of the house and got into the family limo, followed by John and Rena. Celina pulled a pair of dark sunglasses out of her purse and put them on as the driver started the car. Rena reached out and patted Celina’s knee.

  “Are you OK?” she asked.

  Celina shook her head somberly as Darius caressed her arm. She closed her eyes as her tears fell. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, Darius gently wiped her wet cheeks and put his arms around her.

  When the car pulled up to the church, a small crowd had already gathered. Darius looked out at the mourners and saw that half of the town was there. When he saw Velma walk up the steps of the church, he blanched and prayed that her presence there wouldn’t upset Celina more. Stealing a glance at Celina, he saw that she wasn’t bothered. He hoped that she’d come to terms with what Thomas and Velma shared.

  Rena stretched her legs and grabbed John’s hand. “Are we all ready?” she asked.

  “Yes,” Celina said, then knocked on the glass separating them from the driver.

  He wa
lked to the back of the car and opened the door. John and Rena got out first. Celina closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then let Darius help her out of the car.

  “It’s going to be all right, baby,” he whispered as they walked up to the doors of the church.

  “Promise?” she whispered.

  Darius pulled her tightly against him as they entered the church and took a seat in the front row reserved for the family. Spirited gospel music filled the air. Thomas’s favorite choir from St. Luke’s Baptist church sang his most cherished hymn, “Wade in the Water.” The people in the church swayed from side to side as the soulful voices of the singers penetrated the air. Celina leaned against Darius, fighting back the tears as the choir sang. Thomas’s casket sat in the front of the church, surrounded by lush green potted plants and white, yellow, and red rose wreaths. The marble coffin was covered with an American flag, because he had served in the Vietnam War.

  The pastor stood up in the pulpit as the choir finished their song. “What a beautiful selection. I’m sure Thomas is smiling down at us. Now let us pray.”

  Everyone bowed their heads and the pastor began a prayer for Thomas’s soul. As he spoke, Celina gasped and released Darius’s hand. In the blink of an eye, she bolted from the church.

  Once she made it outside, she held the edge of the limo and vomited. Her body shook as she tried to steady herself against the car.

  What is wrong with me? she thought as she wiped her mouth with the back of her glove. Celina’s head ached. She didn’t know if it was seeing her father in the casket, the heat in the church, or could it be something else? Celina stood up and a chill ran through her body. What if she was pregnant? I can’t be, I can’t be, she thought as she paced back and forth. Then another wave of nausea washed over her.

  Darius walked over to her. “Celina, are you all right?” he asked, stepping closer to her.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “I’m fine.” Celina brought her hand to his chest and pushed him away. “I think I got too hot in there.”

  “Are you sure that’s all it was?”

  “Let’s go back inside,” she said as she grabbed his hand. He led her into the church and back to her seat.

  Rena peered at Celina as Darius helped her sit down. “Are you all right?” she asked quietly.

  Celina nodded, then turned her attention to the pastor as he spoke. As hard as she tried to focus, she couldn’t. The only thing she could think about was the possibility that she was carrying Darius’s child. I can’t tell him until I know for sure. Then we’ll figure out what to do, she thought. Celina felt a cool breeze against her cheek.

  “Death is rebirth.” She whirled around to see who said that and her gaze collided with Darius’s. He placed his hand on top of hers and she relaxed against him as the choir began to sing another hymn.

  After the funeral, it seemed, to Celina’s dismay, that the whole town descended on the house. People brought in casseroles of pasta, potato salad, fried chicken, baked chicken, barbecued chicken, and tons of desserts. Celina walked into the house, pushing past the guests who offered their condolences, and headed for her father’s bedroom. Darius followed her into the room and stood at the door, watching her as she kicked off her shoes.

  “Celina, are you sure everything is all right? You’ve been acting strange since you ran out of the church.” he asked as she flung herself on the bed.

  “Darius, I’m just tired. Come in and close the door,” she said.

  He closed the door and came over to her. She opened her arms to him. “I need you to hold me.” He held her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

  “Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked. “What really made you run out of your father’s funeral?”

  “Nothing. I told you, I was hot and . . . I don’t want to talk right now,” she said as she stroked his neck.

  “Do you want something to eat?” Darius asked.

  Celina shook her head. “Why do people always want you to eat after a funeral? I mean, fried chicken isn’t going to bring my father back.” She ran her hand over her face. “I just need to lie here for a minute, because I can’t deal with those people telling me how sorry they are and shoving food in my face. Will you lie here with me?”

  Darius nodded and kicked his shoes off. He lay back on the bed, positioning himself so that Celina could lie on his chest.

  “Celina, I love you,” he said. “Anything you want or need I’ll do it for you.”

  “Thank you,” she replied. “Darius, I wouldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

  “Marry me.”

  She propped herself up on her elbows. “What?”

  “Celina, I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake up the same way. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I know I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you. If this is too much, right now, we can talk about it later, but I want you to be my wife.”

  Celina was speechless. She didn’t know what to say, so she just leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes, pretending to go to sleep.

  CHAPTER 23

  Days after Thomas’s funeral, Rena and John returned to Chicago. Rena asked Celina if she wanted to return with them for a few days to clear her head.

  “This is my home now,” Celina said. “Darius and I have a lot of work to do.”

  “So, my next visit is going to be for your gallery opening, huh?” Rena asked. “Well, at least you’ve decided to put some roots down somewhere. And thank God you have gotten out of New York. I never liked you living there. That place is so dangerous and you were all alone and . . .”

  “Ma, why don’t you get in the car before you miss your flight?” Celina said, then kissed her mother on the cheek.

  Rena hugged Celina, then stepped back and took a good look at her daughter. “You’ve been eating pretty good? You’re getting thick.”

  Celina looked down at her midsection. Was her mother right? She had been eating more lately, and she hadn’t been working out as much as she did in New York. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was beginning to think that she really was pregnant, though she knew she wouldn’t be showing so soon. Still, something told her she needed to be sure.

  After Rena and John left, Celina headed for the drugstore. “Good morning,” the clerk said when she walked in. Waving, Celina quickly ducked toward the back of the store where the pregnancy tests were. Before picking up an EPT test, she looked around to make sure she didn’t see anyone because the last thing she wanted was to be the talk of the town or have someone tell Darius what she’d been buying. Celina grabbed two rapid response tests, then sped to the register. After checking out, she headed back to her house, desperately praying that the tests would be negative. She was more than a little thankful that Darius had returned to work that day so she could take the tests in private. It wasn’t that she was trying to hide her suspicions from him, but she didn’t want to get his hopes up.

  Opening the box and reading the instructions, Celina was poised to take the test, when there was a knock at the door. Shoving the tests underneath the sink, she dashed to the front door and found Darius standing there.

  “Hi,” she said when she opened the door. Darius picked her up and spun her around. “What’s going on?” she asked, totally confused and flustered.

  “We got it.” Darius’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

  “Got what?”

  “Space for the gallery. Celina, you’re going to love it.”

  “So, when am I going to see this great place?” she asked, clasping her hands together. Though she put on an excited face, part of her wanted to take the pregnancy test and find out if her suspicions were correct.

  “What are you doing now?” he asked.

  “What-what do you mean?” Nervousness crept up her back. Did he know?

  “Hiding something, Ms. Hart? You seem a little nervous.”

  Celina smiled brightly and stroked his forearm. “Why would you say something silly
like that? Everything is fine.”

  Darius stepped back and looked at Celina as if he were asking, “are you sure?” “Come on, let’s go, then.”

  Celina grabbed her keys from the coffee table and followed Darius out the front door. When they got in the car, Celina considered telling him about her pregnancy suspicions.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” she replied. “I’m just amazed that you had time to do this.”

  “I work for myself, remember? I can do what I want to do.”

  Celina smiled. “That’s right. You’re the boss, at least at the hardware store.”

  Darius took Celina’s hand in his and kissed it. “Have you been working on some masterpieces to hang in the gallery?” he asked.

  Celina shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t really felt like painting. You know, maybe we should have some classes for kids in the summer and on Saturdays. Or maybe we should come up with a summer camp to expose the kids to art.”

  “What’s with all the talk about kids?” Darius asked as he pulled up to a warehouse.

  “You know how it was growing up here. There was never anything to do in the summer. If we did something like a summer program, the kids would have something constructive to do.” Celina got out of the car and looked up at the building as she shielded her eyes from the sun. “Wow,” she said.

  Darius walked up behind her, brushing his lips against her neck. “You like it?”

  Celina turned around and wrapped her arms around Darius and squealed with delight. “I love it.”

  Suddenly, Darius reached into his pocket and pulled out a burgundy velvet box. He dropped down on one knee and looked up at Celina, whose mouth had dropped open.

  “I know you have a lot on you right now. Your life is changing and I want to be here for you. I need you in my life, today, tomorrow, and forever.” Darius opened he box, revealing a princess-cut diamond ring in a white gold setting. “I want to be your husband and I need you to be my wife.”

  She blinked her eyes rapidly to hold back her tears. “Darius, I don’t know what to say.”

  He stood up and caressed her face. “All you have to do is say ‘yes,’” he said. “I know you didn’t answer me before and my timing was probably off when I asked after your father’s funeral.”