Becoming God

by Pankaj Ogra

  We waited for him to appear, but nothing happened. I called him again and asked him to help us with unification, but even this time nothing happened. I looked at Dude. He seemed clueless too. Everyone started to look at me anxiously, but I had no answers for them. It was a tough time for me, but then I didn’t lose hope.

  I spoke to Dude, “Dude, help us.”

  He said, “You should call for Zanam. Maybe he can help.”

  So I called for Zanam to help, and after a while, I saw him next to me. “Wow, were you already here?”

  “Yes, how can I forget this event? It means a lot to this world and Zenith had asked me to be here. Maybe he knew that something like this would happen.”

  “So as you said, I got everyone here and now we are trying to unite, and nothing is happening. What does this mean?”

  “Everything has a reason behind it. Do you remember I told you when you are all to be united, you should all be completely positive. When you guys were sent here, you were pure souls. But with time and after living as humans, you have negativity in you. Some have more, and some have less, but unification will only happen if none of you is influenced by negativity. This is because we don’t want you guys to unify and become a power within whom negativity resides.”

  “How do we get over it?”

  “Well, Dude will help you with that, as he has also been through the same circumstances and has learnt for himself. He is your guidance here, not me.”

  This came as a surprise to me. This was another problem we had to overcome. We were not yet done with our first task of unification. We still had to make a change in the society and also had to prepare ourselves for the war that was not far off.

  I asked Dude, “What does Zanam actually want to say? How we can be liberated from our negativity?”

  He said, “By not escaping ourselves.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean to say, all of us learn to leave things behind with time. Something that has happened results in something that follows. As we live our life, we create pit holes that are left unfilled. We just move forward and leave them as they are, which stores negativity inside us without us knowing about it. We are all running from ourselves, as we know all the bad we have done as humans. As per the natural law, everyone has to suffer the same pain that they have created for others.”

  “Can you please explain it in brief?”

  “Sugra, can you recall any incident when you think you may have hurt a person and never had a chance to say sorry? And do you remember why you hurt him at that point.”

  Sugra said, “Yes, I do. And I still think sometimes that I should not been rude to that beggar at that moment. I still regret that.”

  “That’s the pit hole. Everyone runs forward, but no one realises what we did in the past has an implication on our future. We may try to run away from our past, but it will still come before us one way or another. Everyone realises at the end of their journey all that they have done in terms of good and bad.

  “Humans have found a way to be someone else and not being their true selves. They used the options meant for recreation to get over their pain but they forgot that it was just an option and not the end of pain. Being drunk and high only helps us to forget the pain for a while, but the pain resides within us until we accept the truth. This was decided by nature to make us accept our faults and be sorry for them. It doesn't make us weak, rather, it makes us stronger with more self-esteem. It’s hard to walk on the path of truth, but believe me, it has a wonderful ending. Humans just look at short-term happiness and burn their bridges for the future.”

  I said, “Everyone has started to think, and we have realised they have a lot of negativity, even I have a few. So I understood before we unite, we have to face the results of our earlier actions and only then, we can be pure again. How will the pits be filled? I understand everyone has done something wrong, but they can’t find those people now, ask for mercy, and repent for what they have done. I too agree, but there should be another way to counter this.”

  “There is a way out and the only way out,” Zanam said.

  I asked, “What is that?”

  Zanam replied, “The redemption chamber.”

  “What is that?” I was puzzled.

  “It’s a chamber designed to take all your negativity at once. Once you enter that chamber, you come out clean. We designed it for such circumstances,” Zanam explained.

  “And what happens inside it?” asked Sugra.

  Zanam shrugged, “Well, no one knows about it.”

  “So it has not been tested before?” I asked Zanam.

  He said, “Yes it is. Just once, and the survivor is with you.” He looked at Dude.

  I looked at him too. He started laughing.

  We couldn’t help but accept our fate, so we all decided to go on a new wonder trip. I was not sure how it would take all of our life’s negativity and what would be left behind. It was part of the job so we did it.

  Zanam called us into the chamber that was inside their spacecraft. Everything was in place now.

  We looked at each other, made eye contact, and moved towards the chamber. We all entered the chamber. Dude and Zanam wished us success before the door closed. This was sudden, and we hadn’t expected this at this point. The whole journey had been surprising until now, and these chambers were just adding more value to the surprises.

  It was dark inside. There was only one dim light, which was not working properly. Suddenly, something started happening inside. I started losing my consciousness. I looked at the others and they seemed like they were going through the same thing. I looked around at everyone for the last time, as none of us knew what would happen next. They were just going through all with blind faith in me. Before my eyes shut, I felt something was missing. I tried to figure it out and realised I couldn’t find Sugra.

  Who am I?

  TRRRING. TRRRING. TRRRINNG.

  The alarm rang.

  I yawned loudly and put my hand over the alarm clock to stop its ringing. I woke up and went to empty my bladder. I washed my face and eyes and looked at myself in the mirror for a while.

  I took the towel and dried my face, as I went back to the room.

  I was surprised.

  Someone was sleeping on my bed next to where I had been sleeping. I went near to see who it was and recognised her.

  How was Sonauy sleeping next to me? I wondered.

  I went back to the loo, washed my face again and came back. It was real. I was a little emotional as I was seeing her after such a long time. The feeling of love got me teary-eyed.

  I had been on a mission and I had gone inside the chamber. What had happened next?

  I went inside the kitchen to make some coffee. I was not sure how it happened.

  I made a cup of coffee for myself and sat in the balcony thinking. I thought I would wake her up and ask her how she was here, but then I thought I should first try to recall and understand this on my own instead of creating a new mess early in the morning. I was glad that she was around even if it was a dream.

  Nothing made any sense. I was on a mission and now I was here with her. What about the others? They were missing. Where are Sugra, Anshrvit, Zhumir, Kansaar, Porshak, Chuair, and Dude?

  I searched the house for a clue but couldn’t find anything. I called for Zanam. Nothing happened this time.

  Sometime later, I felt arms over me that tried to hug me from behind, as I sat on my chair thinking about this whole shift in environment.

  Sonauy greeted me. “Good Morning, Darling. You woke up early.”

  I said, “Yes, I did.”

  Sonauy said, “Seems this special day is not letting you sleep.”

  I asked her, “What special day are you talking about?”

  Sonauy angrily replied, “You don’t remember? It’s our anniversary today. We met each other today. You always forget the day.”

  I said apologetically, “Ohh no. I remember this day. How can I forget the day
I met you?” I tried to be smart and changed the topic. “I thought there was something more important you were talking about.”

  Sonauy said, “I don’t consider any other day as more important than this day.” There was silence. Then she asked me, “So what are the plans for the day?”

  I said more to myself than to her, “I am trying to figure out.”

  She asked, “What did you say?”

  I said, “Ohh me. I said I am planning something, but it will be a surprise.”

  “Let’s see what you plan. Well, do you wish to have tea?”

  I said, “Yes, why not?”

  Sonauy said, “Ok, let’s me get some.”

  She went to make tea, and I was deep in thought. I didn’t remember what happened the previous day. All I remembered was getting inside the chamber. So I thought of doing some research. I recalled Sonauy telling me that today was our anniversary. I turned on my laptop and was shocked to see that it had been two years since I went into that chamber.

  Why don’t I remember all these years? I had several questions in my head. In a while, I heard the doorbell ringing. Sonauy opened the door and spoke to someone. She came to me with an envelope saying, “It is for you.”

  I looked at the envelope and found just my name written on it.

  I asked her, “Who gave you this?”

  “There was a tall guy like you. He looked quite alike you. It’s just…he had this big beard. I thought you came from outside to surprise me with a long beard.” She laughed loudly. “What is going on?” she asked.

  “I don’t know yet, will see now.”

  She went inside to continue making her tea.

  I opened the envelope and took the card out. It was a picture taken when six other people and I partied in my house a day before the unification ceremony. I looked at the other side of this picture. It had something written on it.

  All it said was—Time has come. War on. Prepare yourself.

  It shocked me completely. I didn’t recall anything from the past and now there was a war coming. I was helpless and though may be Dude would be somewhere around.

  The phone rang.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Hello Parnog. How are you? Did you think about me?”

  “Dude, where are you, Dude? I want to talk immediately.”

  “Well, I can’t meet you immediately, as I am on a job.”

  “Ok then, when can we meet?”

  “We can meet by 4 at the restaurant on the corner near St. Mary’s church. I hope you know the place.”

  I replied, “I will reach there in time.”

  I reached the restaurant before time. Dude came after a while. He seemed to be in a fun mood as always.

  He ordered a double scotch whiskey and ordered some for me too.

  He looked at me and said, “You look tensed. Hey, but look, I know you have a lot of questions as always, but I can’t tell you everything. I will only answer any three of your questions, so choose them carefully.”

  So I asked him the first and the most important one, “What happened to the negativity?”

  He replied, “Good. I would say under control now. Ha ha ha ha ha hha.” He burst out laughing.

  So I asked the second one, “Did we make any counter war weapon?”

  He said, “Yes, something even superior to our enemy. Now they won’t be able to get in or near the earth atmosphere. Ha ha hha ha hha.” He began laughing again.

  “Who am I, and what happened in the last 2 years? I don’t recall anything.”

  He gave me a mischievous look and started laughing again loudly. After that, he took his glass of whiskey with him and went to the dance floor.

  He didn't answer my last question. Rather, he left me with several new thoughts to pursue.

  There was music in the background. Alan Parson’s Eye in the Sky played.

  I don't need to see any more

  To know that I can read your mind,

  I can read your mind, I can read your mind, I can read your mind…

  About the Author

  Pankaj Ogra is the author of Becoming God. This story is inspired by events in his life and the life of the people surrounding him and how he overcame tough circumstances and succeeded in them.

  The author believes that people today worry unnecessarily over meaningless things, drowning in disappointment and sorrow.

  He hopes to make a change in the powerful section of people of this world who, despite knowing they are powerful, are unable to effectively use their abilities.