by Jade Eby
There has never been a time in my life that I've felt as strong. The last day I spent in Minnesota was the day I decided I wouldn't let my life be weighed around by the past. Carter will always be apart of me. He'll live in my heart as long as I live, but he'll never determine my future again.
I am finally free.
As I call out for a cab outside the airport, I swear the light is playing tricks on me. I see a familiar shape across the street. A smile burned so deeply in memory, I could trace it in my sleep.
The Carter-Mirage stares back at me, a replica of the boy I fell in love with. He nods and I nod back.
"You need help with that?" the cabbie asks.
I shake my head no and put the suitcase in the trunk.
"That's it?"
"That's it," I say and get in the front seat. A tiny bag for such a big life change. There is no material thing from my past that I need to carry with me. Everything important starts today.
* * *
The cab drops me off in front of a small apartment complex tucked away in the heart of San Diego. I thank the cabbie and head for the main building. A tall, blond woman greets me when I enter. Luanne is spelled out on her name tag and I think she's the woman that helped me secure a place here.
"Hey there! How can I help you?"
"I'm Tawny Owens. I'm here to pick up my apartment keys."
"Tawny! Of course, I have them right here. I'm glad to finally put a face to the voice. I hope you enjoy your home," she says.
I smile. "I'm sure I will, thank you."
"Do you need help with your bags?"
I hold up my single suitcase. "Nope. It's all right here."
"My kind of girl. Well come along, I'll show you which one is yours."
Following Luanne, she takes me up a few flights of stairs until we're on the third floor.
"Here we are. 319. This is yours," she says.
"Thanks, Luanne."
Her smile is warm and genuine and I can tell she and I will get along just fine. "Of course. See you around, Tawny."
She leaves me alone and when I step inside I am already in love. I have nothing. Not a damn thing to my name except the suitcase in my hands but this is how it's supposed to be starting out fresh, right? Clean slate and all that?
I lay down on the plush caramel colored carpet and look up at the ceiling and laugh.
"You see me, right?" I ask aloud, as if Carter and my mother are here, with me.
"I'm doing it. I'm finally becoming who I want to be," I say.
The silence is a beautiful, glorious response.
I am free.
Afterword
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please consider taking action. There IS help available.
The National Domestic Violent Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE | www.thehotline.org
The Finish Playlist
Listen to the playlist on Spotify
Ron Pope – A Drop In The Ocean
Maria Mena – A few small bruises
Sara Evans – A Little Bit Stronger
Paramore – All I Wanted
Banks – And I Drove You Crazy
Ellie Goulding – Anything Could Happen
Skylar Grey – Back From The Dead
The Spill Canvas – Battles
Banks – Bedroom Wall
Banks – Before I Ever Met You
Tracy Chapman – Behind The Wall
Labrinth – Beneath Your Beautiful
5 Seconds of Summer – Beside Me
Maggie Rose – Better
The Band Perry – Better Dig Two
Imagine Dragons – Bleeding Out
Carrie Underwood – Blown Away
Lorde – Bravado
Rihanna – California King Bed
Banks – Change
Zedd – Clarity
Tegan And Sara – Closer
Laura Welsh – Cold Front
The Spill Canvas – Connect The Dots
OneRepublic – Counting Stars
Kelly Clarkson – Dark Side
The Dresden Dolls – Delilah
Imagine Dragons – Demons
The Band Perry – DONE.
Banks – Drowning
Matt Nathanson – Earthquake Weather
Ray LaMontagne – Empty
Toby Lightman – Everyday
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Face Down
Skylar Grey – Final Warning
Ella Henderson – Five Tattoos
Demi Lovato – Fix a Heart
Frank Hamilton feat. Lauren Aquilina – Flaws & Ceilings
Lauren Aquilina – Fools
Haim – Forever
Maria Mena – Fragile (Free) - US Album Version
Ella Henderson – Ghost
Meg Myers – Go
Miranda Lambert – Gunpowder & Lead
Collin Raye – Harder Cards
Maria Mena – He's Hurting Me
Iko – Heart Of Stone
Betty Who – Heartbreak Dream
Laura Welsh – Hollow Drum
Lydia – Hospital
Chris & Meredith Thompson – House Divided
Christina Aguilera – Hurt
Adore Delano – I Adore U
Maria Mena – I Always Liked That
Maggie Rose – I Know Better Now
Colbie Caillat – I Never Told You
Tegan And Sara – I Was A Fool
Cassadee Pope – I Wish I Could Break Your Heart
Colbie Caillat – I Won't
James Maddock – I've Been There Too
Kelly Clarkson – If No One Will Listen
Martina McBride – Independence Day
Aerosmith – Janie's Got A Gun
P!nk – Just Give Me a Reason
Parachute – Kiss Me Slowly
Sam Smith – Lay Me Down - Acoustic Version
Passenger – Let Her Go
Kelly Clarkson – Let Me Down
Avril Lavigne – Let Me Go
Sam Smith – Life Support
Maggie Rose – Looking Back Now
Matt White – Love and Affection
Eminem – Love The Way You Lie
The Spill Canvas – Lullaby
Timeflies – Monsters
Emeli Sandé – My Kind Of Love - RedOne And Alex P Remix
Kelly Clarkson – Never Again
Nickelback – Never Again
Quincy – New Girl
Rascal Flatts – No Reins
P!nk – Nobody Knows
Birdy – Not About Angels
Dixie Chicks – Not Ready To Make Nice
Joni Mitchell – Not To Blame
Imagine Dragons – Nothing Left To Say / Rocks
Paul McDonald – Once You Were Mine
Rhye – Open
Maria Mena – Our Battles
Bryce Hitchcock – Runaway
The Spill Canvas – Saved
Sleeping With Sirens – Scene Two - Roger Rabbit
Tristan Prettyman – Second Chance
Sara Evans – Slow Me Down
Banks – Someone New
Rihanna – Stay
Lydia – Stay Awake
Sam Smith – Stay With Me
The Lumineers – Stubborn Love
Mary J. Blige – Suitcase
The Neighbourhood – Sweater Weather
Cash Cash – Take Me Home (feat. Bebe Rexha)
Birdy – Tee Shirt
Reba McEntire – The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia
The Civil Wars – The One That Got Away
Paramore – The Only Exception
Kelly Clarkson – The Sun Will Rise
Kelly Clarkson – The War Is Over
Mary Lambert – This Heart
Banks – This Is What It Feels Like
Maria Mena – This Too Shall Pass
Casey Donahew Band – Twelve Gauge
Savage Garden – Two Beds And A Coffee Machine
Laura Welsh – Undiscover
ed
Laura Welsh – Unravel
Skylar Grey – Wear Me Out
Ben Rector – When A Heart Breaks
Lizz Wright – When I Fall
Emeli Sandé – Where I Sleep
Jana Kramer – Whiskey
Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
Banks – You Should Know Where I’m Coming From
A Great Big World – You'll Be Okay
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Your Guardian Angel
Acknowledgments
I won't lie - this has been the hardest book I've written to-date. There were many days, weeks and months that I thought I couldn't do it. There were times I thought "I cannot possibly go on with this book." But I did. And there are A LOT of people I really need to thank for giving me the support, strength and courage to continue.
Megan D. Martin - You have no idea how much your friendship, advice and support in life and for this book means to me. This book would not have happened without you. Everyone who enjoys this book should really thank you, because without your insistence that I could do it - it wouldn't have been done. I love you to the moon and back and I'm incredibly lucky to have you as a friend and inspiration.
Briana Pacheco - Thank you so much for the time you took to read the early draft of this book and tell me honestly what you thought. Thank you for letting my brainstorm with you and for believing in this story.
Cousin Carla - Though this version of The Finish isn't initially what I thought it would be, our conversations about the early drafts is what led me to a wonderful friendship with you. I don't know anyone as interesting and special as you are. I'm so happy we are connected through blood and long chain emails :)
Amy Schaeffer - Without the hours and hours of chatting and crying about my struggles, I don't think this book would be done. You have been the voice to bounce ideas off of and have taken my crazy rants/ideas/brainstorms in stride. Thank you, friend, for always being there for me.
Megan Grimit & Kate Tracy - Without either of you, I highly doubt I would be where I'm at. Becoming friends with you two was a gift I don't deserve. I don't know what I did to deserve you two, but I'm glad I did. Love you guys. Retreat in London, next?
I would like to thank Whitney Barbetti for being the best writing soul sister a girl can have. No matter what is going on in my life, I know that you are there for me and I can't tell how much that means to me. You're there for laughs and cries and everything in between. I love you more than you know and I want to grow old with you ;) I would also like to thank Andrea Hopp for being a tried-and-true friend throughout a majority of my adult life. You have been a constant friend in my life and your faith in me is so much more than I could ever ask for. I love you! I have to give a shout out to my wonderful, amazing Grandmother who read Whiskey and loved it and was put to the task of being my last proofreader. Grandma - thank you. You're amazing and I'm lucky to have your blood in my veins. To the love of my life, the holder of my heart and every other cliche phrase - Eric. You, of everyone, had to deal with the craziest parts of me throughout the process of this book. I know it wasn't easy. I know there were days when you probably thought that having a writer for a wife was the worst idea ever, but I'm the key to your Ferrari and if you just keep supporting me the way you have, I promise you, I will try my hardest to get it for you! To the RT, Barbetti's Babes and Hemmerlies Group girls (you all know who you are), THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. You girls have been the glue that holds me together. I love talking with you girls and you are always supportive, loving and ready to do anything for anyone. I love you girls so much. To my writing friends, Emerald Perpete, Lex Martin, Elisabeth Grace and B.A. Wolfe. You guys all give me inspiration and I look up to you as writers.
To my incredible family and in-laws who never cease to amaze me with their support. You don't know how much it means to know that you're on my side, cheering me on and pimping my books!
Lastly, I'd like to thank some people who have made writing and publishing The Finish one of the most rewarding experiences ever. The bloggers and readers. None of this would be happening without you. There are a couple of people that have gone above and beyond to show their support and excitement and I'd like to thank those people now.
Jenny & Gitte from TotallyBooked
Stacia, Roxie and Alexis from Three Girls and a Book Obsession
Jennifer from Schmexy Girl Book Blog
Jenna Schmitt & Jenna Schmitt (yes, there's two of them!)
Angelica J.
Silvana Reyes
Tracie Bledsoe
Laura Jahns
Terri LeBlanc
Denice Enfield
Victoria LoBue
Abbie Baker
Misty Kramer
Also By Jade Eby
The Right Kind of Wrong
Whiskey and a Gun (The companion novella to this book)
Dirty Proof (Whiskey and a Gun + The Finish Bundle)
Back to Bad Series:
Capricious (Book 1)
Voracious (Book 2)
Malicious (Book 3)
Audacious (Book 4)
Tenacious (Book 5)
Lacey: The Back to Bad Series Collection
Stuck (A FREE short story for newsletter subscribers)
About the Author
Once upon a time there was a little girl who fell in love with books then she grew up to write her own.
Jade has participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) seven times and enjoys copious amounts of coffee. When she's not writing, she enjoys trashy reality T.V. and reading everything she can get her hands on.
For More Information:
@jade_eby
authorjade.eby
www.jadeeby.com
[email protected]
