by M.A. Stacie
Leaning back against the couch, he pulled her with him, sitting her between his open thighs. He massaged her shoulder, his thumbs moving in little circles, relaxing her tense muscles.
"Is somethin' wrong?”
"No. Yes." She groaned, her head dropping to her chest. "I'm concerned about my dad and, to be honest, I'm confused by this."
"This?"
"What's happening between me, you, and Pax."
"Ah, I see." His fingers didn't stop their wonderful manipulation and little gasps of enjoyment slipped from her lips. "Haven't we had this discussion, Ne-Ne? I thought we were doin' just fine."
"We are… now, but this can't last forever. No one lives like this."
"Oh, please," he scoffed. "Of course people do. Don't pretend to be naive because I know you, and I know you're not. For Christ's sake, you write books about just this sort of thing. You do research. I've seen it. So don't dare tell me this isn't real—that this is just a silly little fling. I won't believe you."
Sydney turned and met his gaze. It wasn't unusual for Caleb to get annoyed, being the most quick tempered of the two, but his eyes shone with something else. Something new. Caleb genuinely believed the three of them living together could be for keeps.
"Caleb, we—"
The front door flew open. "I've been callin' you, but you don't pick—oh!"
Sydney stared, utterly dumbstruck at the sight of her father in the middle of the living room. She and Caleb were still naked, only the back of the couch hiding them from full view.
Jack turned his back when Caleb passed her his shirt.
"Sorry," Jack mumbled. "Guess I should 'ave knocked."
"Guess you should," Caleb replied, pulling on his underwear and standing up. "What did you need, Jack?"
"I could've done without the sight of my daughter bare-ass naked but I suppose that goes without sayin'."
"Not our problem. You walked in here without knockin'." Caleb reminded.
Jack peered over his shoulder, checking whether Caleb had covered up. Sydney slipped up onto the cushion of the couch, chewing on her lower lip and trying to calm down. Mortification had her skin flaming. She couldn't hide the relationship from her dad anymore. There would be no way to pass off what he'd seen. She only hoped Pax remained upstairs.
Jack cleared his throat, refusing to look at Sydney.
"There's a problem in the top paddock. Frank called. Said one of the horses was on his land. He couldn't get hold of Pax. Do you know where he is?"
Caleb shook his head and Sydney remained silent.
"His truck's out front," Jack pointed out.
"He must be around then."
"Maybe he came in, saw you two ruttin' and left."
Sydney bit down harshly on her lip and yelped.
Neither man noticed; they were too busy glaring at one another.
“Dad," she started, instantly stopping when he stalked out the door. He slammed it behind him, leaving the sound to echo around the walls.
Caleb frowned, shrugging when he moved across the room. "What's his deal?"
"You're joking, right? I broke his heart when I left because of you, yet now he basically catches us fucking."
"Being crude doesn't suit you, Syd."
She laughed sarcastically, picking up her clothes and starting to dress. Pushing past him, she opened the front door. "I write that word at least ten times a day. I'm not the person you remember, Caleb. Open your fucking eyes!"
She raced out, her bare feet hitting the dusty path.
Jack stalked over to the cottage and ignored her calls for him to wait. It could have been far worse—he could have walked in ten minutes earlier, but Sydney raced after her father. "Dad, wait. Please?"
Cloud dashed across the yard, barking as he chased her cat, Socks. Jack usually bellowed at them, but he didn't even pause.
"Dad, why are you so angry?" She sounded whiny, but it hurt. He continued to ignore her. She understood his embarrassment at finding his daughter basically having sex, but his rejection perplexed her. He continued to shut her down until they entered the cottage.
Once inside, he only spoke three words. "Shut the door."
She did as he asked, and took her seat on the chair across from him. "Are you going to speak to me now?"
Jack winced, wringing his hands and eventually making eye contact. "What's goin' on Ne-Ne?" The gruffness of his tone didn't hide the edge buried within. What he'd seen had irritated her father.
"I think that was pretty obvious," she mumbled.
"Don't like the games you're playin', girl."
Her spine snapped straight, bristling in response. "What games?"
"Remember you already broke that boy's heart once. It would be awfully mean of you to do it again."
Horrified, she squeaked, "I can't believe you just said that. The last thing I want is for Caleb to be hurt. I didn't want that the first time. I came back here for you, not to torture Caleb any further."
"Don't seem that way to me. You can't deny what you were doin', or rather just finished doin', with him."
"I haven't denied anything! Dad, each time I came home I avoided him so I didn't upset him. And you know it. Why are you being like this? I'm your daughter. You should be watching out for me not Caleb."
Jack reached out immediately, patting her knee. Her lip trembled. "I'm always watchin' out for you, but your old man can't do that from another state. And that means you need to understand a few things."
Sydney nodded, giving him time to continue.
"While you're not here, Pax and Caleb are all I have. They keep me company and look out for me. I see the upset in Caleb's eyes whenever I talk about you. He still hurts after all this time. I don't want you tearin' that wound open. Syd, you ran away from him, showin' him the relationship was over, and yet it sure didn't look over from where I was standin'. If you want him and realize the mistake you made, then great, but you need to be serious about this. Messing around with his feelings ain't fair."
Sydney digested what he'd said, berating herself for not considering how much her father had grown to love Pax and Caleb. "You're warning me away from Caleb? Seriously?"
"No need to be so dramatic. You never change. Always quick to jump to conclusions." He paused, patting her knee again. "I'm just sayin' you should think long and hard before startin' what you don't intend to finish."
"I'm not in the mood to argue with you, but you have no clue about what I've thought about. Maybe I do want to see it through." His brows shot up, disappearing underneath his white bangs, and she saw hope flair in his eyes. Her admission hadn't been intentional. In fact, she'd been equally surprised when the words left her mouth.
"I'd say you need to leave the boy alone until you decide. Stop thinkin' about us as the people you visit from time and time, and consider the destruction you leave in your wake each time you leave. I raised you better, Sydney."
"I'm doing nothing wrong," she shot back, hating the way he made her feel. "Caleb is a grown man and can make his own mind up. He came onto me, so I'd say he's just as responsible for the potential heartbreak."
"So it is goin' to end that way then?"
She gritted her teeth, growling in frustration. "You never hear me. I try to tell you things—explain myself, but you never listen. It's like you pick out key words and mold them to what you'd rather hear. When I was seventeen, for example, you found those notebooks and raged for hours about how disgusting they were. Never once did you allow me to actually explain."
Jack shook his head, removing his hand and resting back in his chair. "You've got it wrong. As I recall, I handed those damn books to you and asked you what they were. Your embarrassment caused you to scream at me. After that night, you refused to talk to me about it. I had little choice but to leave you be. I tried Ne-Ne."
Silence surrounded them, suffocating in its thickness. Pax and Caleb intimated something similar about that night, but she'd refuted their memories. Too many people were showing her a diffe
rent side. Could her memories have warped with time, leaving her to recall only what she wanted to?
The thought didn't sit well with her. She loved her father but had such resentment about the way she thought he treated her night he found her notebooks. If those memories were wrong, she'd held onto the false hurt for too long. The only way forward would be to deal with as much of truth she thought her father could cope with. The interludes between herself, Pax, and Caleb would be out, but she wanted her dad to know what she really wrote. As it stood, Jack thought she worked as a journalist for a teen magazine.
She had made so many mistakes, and pushed the people she loved away. Her only excuse? She thought they wouldn't understand her dreams. Sydney convinced herself Jack wouldn't deal well with a daughter who wrote erotic fiction, and that Caleb and Pax would think badly of her because she loved them both—wanted each of them for very different reasons.
It hit her that she couldn't have been further from the truth, and the only person she'd been running away from had been herself. The problem rested with her, and when the reality struck home, she reached over, taking her father's hands in hers. "There have been parts of my life I never wanted to share with you. Not because I didn't trust you, but because I preferred to keep them hidden. I would have been mortified if anyone had found out. Living in Sacramento meant I could keep my secrets hidden." She exhaled gently, softening her tone. "Obviously, that wasn't the only reason I left, but it's why I rarely come back. The longer I stay here, the more chance there is my secret will be uncovered. I guess I'm seeing I should have never done that. I didn't need to keep things from you, did I, Dad?"
"Not one damn reason for it," he replied, his voice gravelly. "So give it to me. I can take it."
Her heart pounded fiercely and she battled the urge to turn tail and run. Her head told her to do it—to run as fast and as far as she could, but for once, her heart overrode it.
“My job. Dad, I'm not a journalist."
"Don't you dare tell me you work in some fast food dump. I'm not havin' you runnin' miles away only to serve morons food."
Sydney laughed, the tension easing slightly. Her father would never change. He would always tell it straight. Sometimes she wondered if he'd ever possessed a verbal filter, or if that had faded with age.
"No, I don't work in a restaurant."
"Those places ain't no restaurants."
"Dad, listen, please. I still write, just not for a teen magazine. Um, actually I write books. I've written a lot of books."
Jack nodded, taking in her news, though he didn't comment. "I suppose you're wondering why I want that to be a secret, huh?"
He nodded again and waited. The butterflies in her stomach started to go crazy, and no amount of deep breathing helped. She wouldn't feel better until she confessed, so she purged. "I write erotic fiction, books with sex in them. Usually a lot, and most of the time there's more than two people involved."
Chapter 10
Sydney sat on the grass, staring across the field at the horses. The breeze skimmed her body, ruffling her T-shirt and skirt, and the grass tickled her bare feet. She fell in love with the seclusion again, just as she had many years ago. Living in Sacramento meant she'd become accustomed to a busy life, but she never felt the same sense of calm as she did here.
Her father had taken her news of her real career far better than she could ever have expected. He'd admitted her revelation hadn't been that much of a surprise, given the notebooks he'd found when she was seventeen. He'd also admitted to seeing numerous books by her on the bookshelf in the main house. However, he didn't know they had been by her at the time. He'd merely commented to Pax and Caleb about how much they must really like that particular author.
Something flashed in her father's eyes at that point.
It had been a realization of sorts, but one he refused to elaborate on. For a moment, she thought maybe he'd figured out her other secret, but he denied the look had ever existed, telling her she'd been imagining it. She hadn't, there had definitely been something going on in his head at the moment, but she dropped the subject. Knowing her father, he wouldn't budge and discuss the topic until ready.
She smiled, recalling the way he'd hugged her, muttering how proud he was of her, even if she wasn't the most conventional of people or the easiest to raise. His teasing made her giggle like a child. Hugs from her father had been one thing she'd missed terribly. Even at thirty, she still longed for that kind of love—the kind only her dad could offer her.
Feeling energized after purging her truth, she'd brought her laptop up to the upper paddock, ready to do some writing. Pax and Caleb had let the horses loose in the field earlier, so she'd watched them gallop around for a short while before inspiration struck.
Time passed quickly and before she realized it, she'd been sitting in the field writing for almost three hours. Looking up, she noticed Pax sauntering over to her.
Her gaze raked across his body, taking in the way his jeans hung low on his hips, and the way his fitted plaid shirt accentuated his wide shoulders and small waist.
"Hey you," he said, shooting her a smile that lit up his whole face and had her wanting to jump him right in the middle of the horse paddock.
He tossed her a green apple, biting into one of his own and sitting down next to her. "Hey yourself."
"You look better, sweetheart. Since you spilled to Jack, I mean."
Nodding, she placed the apple on top of her closed laptop and turned her body toward him. "I feel better. I always worried that I'd disappoint him, that when he found out, he'd hate my choices. Maybe even disown me."
Furrows appeared on his brow and he touched her face. "You're so silly sometimes, and somewhat dramatic. Jack adores you. I doubt there's anything that would piss him off enough to disown you."
She chuckled. "My dad called me dramatic too."
"Then Jack and I are on the same wavelength." He kissed her quickly, winking when he pulled back. She tasted the apple juice on his delicious lips. "Why have you been hidin' up here?" His hand still held her cheek, his fingers flicking her earlobe.
"Oh, I'm not hiding. I needed a bit of space to write.
“I thought coming out here would cut me off, from the Internet and life in general, for a while."
"You get much done?"
"Lots."
Wiggling his brows, he lowered his tone. "Do I get to see? Or can we reenact it later?" The vibrations of his voice had her thighs squeezing together.
Snorting, she shoved at his chest, only for him to shackle her wrists with his hands. "You can read it when I'm comfortable with it. Right now, it's nothing more than random thoughts and ideas."
His expression grew serious when she spoke. "Ah, but Syd, your ideas are so damn dirty and so amazingly sexy that Caleb and I love reading what your mind comes up with next."
She blushed but continued to smile coyly.
"You're some contradiction, you know that? Those words you write are hot enough to burn the page, and yet all I have to do is mumble in your ear, or say the word fuck and you blush. It's fascinating."
"It's certainly something, though fascinating wouldn't be the adjective I'd use to describe it."
He pulled her hands closer to his chest, and to keep from toppling on top off him, she straddled his lap. His answering smirk told her the position had been what he had wanted all along.
"Roman seems happy here," he said, changing the subject entirely.
"He does. I've neglected him."
Pax kissed her again. "If you decide to leave… he'll be okay here. I want you to know that. Don't worry about him."
"If?" She all but whispered.
There couldn't be an if. She had an apartment back in California. Once she made certain her father would manage, she had to leave.
"Yes, if." His lips pressed against hers, cutting off her retort. He lowered his hand to caress her arm and she trailed hers down his side. Their lips met in a slow, tender kiss, so different from their previous e
mbraces. He cautiously slipped his tongue into her mouth. She hummed, though longed for the fiercer side of him to return.
Sydney skimmed her hand across the increasing bulge in Pax's jeans, making him hiss and tunnel under her T-shirt to caress her breasts. "Pax," she said, pulling away.
Her eyes drifted to his swollen lips, grinning because she'd caused that. Her kisses had made them redder and fuller, and she knew her mouth could have the same results on his cock. Grabbing his hair with her free hand, she tugged forcefully. Her mouth crashed against his, groaning a little when his fingers tweaked her nipple through her bra. She wiggled in his lap, peppering his lips with tiny kisses.
The wind floated gently around them, whipping her red hair against his cheeks, but he didn't seem to care or notice. He continued caressing her breasts through the fabric and nibbling on her lips. He growled and the sound sent shock waves directly to her sex. In response, she rubbed against his erection. The seam from his jeans, along with the press of his hardness, hit her in just the right place.
Their discussion lost, all that mattered now was sating their desire.
Syd ran her nose across his jaw. The coarse hair rasped along the tip of it, and she inhaled his deep, musky scent. He'd been working in the stables all morning, so his tang was far stronger than usual.
Her sex clenched. "I love your smell," she whispered, pulling back to meet his hooded, brown gaze.
"I stink, you mean." He rolled his hips, eliciting a loud groan for her.
"No." Syd placed her lips at his ear. "I meant your smell makes me wet. Very wet."
"Now? Here? Without Caleb?" he responded, sounding like a complete moron.
She nodded, winking playfully at him. "Don't you want me, Pax?" Reaching for the hem of her T-shirt, she pulled it over her head and threw it across the grass. At that moment it didn't matter where it landed. She needed him to fill her.
"Always. For longer than you realize," he said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "You look stunnin'."
She tugged on the buttons of his plaid shirt, until a couple popped free. Within seconds she had it open and discarded in the same way of her top. Her fingers roamed his chest and stomach, his muscles twitching in response.
