“I didn’t do it because I think you’re a charity case!” I reply, my tone sharp and vicious. “I did it because I love you, Enzo. I did it for you!” I watch a weakness form in his eyes, an understanding glances through before being caught and smothered. “We left that house together. You gave to us everything we wanted and everything you ever promised, but I wanted to give a little back. I wanted to repay some of it to you.”
He silences at the moment, but I can see there is still no forgiveness quite yet.
“Do you know how horrible it is to watch you sink while the rest of us thrive?!” I ask, my tone a bellow. “When we left that hellhole, I imagined so much for us, but in my dream, Enzo, you were happy, you were proud, and you were in love! You’re none of that. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it – you are lost! It’s time we found you!” My face suddenly feels flush, but it’s replaced by heat as I notice my rage is a storm within. “So yeah, I’m meddling, and I won’t stop until you see some fucking sense about what is going on around you!”
“I see what is going on around me!” he admonishes, keeping himself oblivious.
“No, you don’t!” I argue back, unable to let him believe this. “If you did, you wouldn’t be so stupid!” While he emulates the epitome of anger, I feel myself begin to as well. “You are one of the brightest out of us, but you made stupid moves. You don’t look properly, and then you get angry when what you’ve always wanted is standing right in front of you! I know we fought for so long, Enz, but don’t lose all that fight now. Don’t give up now, when you’re on the edge of having it all. She came here for you, not for me. Alessa came back to see you. It’s your chance to finally let go of some of the guilt you feel toward her and just feel what you keep denying yourself.”
I want nothing more than to shake this man, slap him before shaking him until sense greets him. But I can’t because Enzo needs strength; he needs vicious words, and he needs yelling. He needs the truth to beat him senseless. If it has to be me to offer it, so be it.
As silence wraps around every single one of us, I think I’ve won.
“I can’t do this,” Enzo replies, closing his eyes as if we’ve aimed to mortally harm him. “I’m going.”
I watch him retreat through the house, and I find myself following. I didn’t even have to think about that, the movement of my body was completely unconscious, a knee-jerk reaction. This isn’t how it’s supposed to end. I know he’s scared, presented with the biggest ghost of his past.
As he succeeds to get out of the house and starts to rush down the path, I follow quickly, picking up my pace.
“Stop!”
My word is swiftly followed by a sharp grab at him. I catch his hand, but he reacts as if my touch burns, causing me stumble backward as he flicks my touch away from him. Even though he faces me, I swallow my hurt, trying not to allow it to show. Biting back my hormone rush, I narrow my gaze.
“Why won’t you just give it a shot?” I ask yearning to hear a real reason.
"Because you had no right butting in my fucking life like this, that’s why!" Enzo snarls at me, his face darkening as a thunderous demeanor overtakes him. "This wasn't your place! My life isn't some thing that needs to be fixed, Amelia!"
“I didn’t think it was,” I remark. "Just hear me out," I say, gesturing to Alessa. "Hear her out!"
"I don't want to hear either of you out right now!” Enzo roars, unwilling to look at Alessa now. “What is there to hear, Amelia? I don’t need more of a reminder of what I let go!”
I scowl at him, my need to smack him multiplying to a dangerous amount. “You’ll be surprised at what she has to say.”
He laughs, mirthless and bitterly. “I don’t think so.” He focuses on me, leaning in with a scowl, and I hate the man I’ve forced him to become. "You brought her back so I can lose her again," Enzo whispers as defeat spirals around him. “So I won’t be around to open up my old wounds to that.”
I know the persona he’s taken on. I understand it, empathize with it, lived it, but I also survived it, and I managed to use it to get me where I am today. Being heartbroken feels like a mortal wound, but if your one true love inflicts it, then the healing process is immediate. I denied allowing Zane to heal me, physically and mentally, but the moment I allowed my walls to topple, crumbling into rubble, I found liberation in that first kiss we shared with open hearts.
It’s time Enzo had someone fight for him like Zane did me. It’s time Alessa steps up and quits denying what we all know and allow herself to bring Enzo to a sounder mind and a perfect beating heart.
“That’s it,” Alessa finally pipes up, her tone dangerously heated. “When the going gets tough, you always run. You never face things fully; you bury your head and stop listening to anyone else’s opinion.”
“What do you want from me, Alessandra?!” he asks, using her full name as he spins around to approach her. “I became the bad guy, so why would I be stupid enough to expect you to ever love me again? I stood in front of you and broke your heart into a million pieces. I watched as I did that, but I told myself it was for your own good. You were only ever in danger in our family, and I couldn’t have you fall victim because of who I am!” He shakes his head, diverting his attention to the ground. “I can’t expect to just turn back the clock now.”
“I don’t expect to try and turn any clock back. It’s too late for that, but why do you make it sound like it’s too late for a future for us?” she asks, stepping forward enough to put me in the background and allow her to take center stage with him. “Your sister has one of the biggest hearts I know, and what she did was stop the two of us from avoiding each other because I know, without her help, we would’ve been doing it for the rest of our lives. So scream and shout all you want that you’re facing me again, and you hate it, but it’s not exactly easy for me to stand in front of you either!”
“You had the option to come here.”
“Okay, yes, there was more than you that made me come here, but seeing you, Enzo, I see that I used other excuses to aid me. Do you think I can walk away from you now? How do you think I feel to find you like this?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t tell you how I feel when I can’t make sense of this!”
“Can you not start at the beginning?” she asks, daring him to purge his soul to her. “Tell me, Enzo, because we won’t get anywhere while you stand there acting like a bastardo, will we?”
Enzo’s jaw clenches as he finds every reason to fight her, but only one to relent and accept what she’s doing. “I felt resentment,” he admits sadly. “For every day I let you go, I resented myself. I resent letting you go off into another man’s arms. I resent losing you to someone more deserving. I brought it on myself, fair enough, but I can’t help but be a greedy man over truly losing the woman he truly loves.”
“You’re a fool,” Alessa berates him, her assault gentle. “There is no one else. You made a stupid assumption. I’m not madly in love with anyone but you, you stupid, stupid man. There is no other man.”
“I saw you with him,” Enzo confesses, his tone even more broken. “I saw it with my own eyes, Alessandra. You were happy to be with him. I missed seeing that smile, and I wouldn’t be the reason to destroy it. I wouldn’t take that smile away from you a second time by walking back into your life, so I did the honorable thing ... I walked away.”
“You did the honorable thing?” she asks him, laughing somewhat incredulously. “Enzo, you made a stupid judgment about my life from what snapshot scene you happened to see!” I notice her shoulder begin to slump, an ounce of defeat settling upon her shoulders. “I was in the jewelers helping my friend pick out an engagement ring for his fiancée. When we found the perfect ring, I kissed him because I was happy we finally found one. He needed my opinion, and I gave it. I was just overwhelmed that we found the perfect ring.” She sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Amelia saw the couple I’m talking about. I’m not in love with anyone.”
“That wasn’t a
friend helping a friend,” Enzo defies, admonishing the truth. He gives a sad smile, but it irritates me; he’s allowing sadness to cloud rationality. “You don’t have to lie to appease me, Alessa. You of all people should know that.” I watch him dance nervously on the spot because he doesn’t know where to look or where to go. So he stands to walk backward, edging himself a little further away from the house. “Now just let me leave and I’ll stay away until you leave.”
He turns to leave completely but growls in frustration as he’s confronted with his brother’s body. He acts like a formidable wall, unbreakable, and unrelenting.
“I don’t think so,” Bruno states, blocking Enzo’s exit. “Turn back, face that lady of yours, and man the fuck up, Enz!”
“Bruno,” Enzo snarls, warning him to back away.
“Don’t make me fucking force you.” Bruno’s character sharpens, his behavior darkens to match Enzo’s, and I feel a thrill at watching these two at war for the right reasons. “I will fucking force you to face her and face your fears, Enzo. Right now, you’re pissing me off by running. You’re being given a second chance here. It’s all out there for you to decide, so why would you run? She’s been truthful with you, even with your stupid fucking assumptions, so why won’t you give her a chance?”
“Why do you care so much? You didn’t have to fight for Allana to love you again; she just loved you. You chose her above all of us, so you didn’t have to make this fight happen.”
“I still had to fight to win you all back, though,” Bruno replies, gravely. I watch earnest emotion threaten to falter his harden exterior, but he looks Enzo in the eyes unwilling to let Enzo’s depressive demons win. “I didn’t have it all easy, Enzo. I still lost, but I won you back. I fought for you because I love you all. Now, turn back and do the same for that woman behind you!”
“Why would she want me?” Enzo asks; his question is a sober cry into the void in his heart. “I’m a nobody now.”
I know my brothers have found that their relationship has strengthened since we left my father, and right now is a testament to that. They’re sharing a moment, one that allows Enzo to bare his soul to his twin in the hopes that he’ll have all the answers.
“Just hear her out,” Bruno states, his tone not angry but gentler than ever. “You don’t have to be a somebody to be loved. It’s who loves you when you become a somebody. You know that, Enzo; she’ll make you who you want to be so allow her.”
There’s a brief moment when I think Enzo is actually going to listen, but then he shakes his head, deciding he would rather leave than face the possibility of a bad ending to this situation. It saddens me to see that Enzo is only inches from smacking into rock bottom, and I can tell he fears staying here will help him reach it.
He’s unable to see that staying will actually lift him back onto solid ground.
“Let me out of this fucking yard!” Enzo declares, and I know he’s a real victim to his emotions now. “If you don’t, I won’t care how much damage I do!”
My heart cracks at watching my brother become a man who runs in the face of a challenge. He used to square his shoulders, puff out his chest, and ready for the fight of a lifetime with everything he faced, but now, he’s ready and all too willing to admit defeat. Now, I feel like I’ve lost my brother in seeking this life.
“Listen to me!” Alessa screams, before Bruno or Enzo have another chance to talk. She’s uncaring that we’re all on show, but she wants to be heard instead of allowing Enzo to be stupid enough to run first. She’s now in front of him and a force to be reckoned with. “I have only ever loved you. If anything, it got worse when you broke my heart. You want to know why, Enzo?” she asks, pointing a finger at him and jabbing his chest. “Because you are my soul mate! I moved across the country to escape how I feel every single day about you, but it never mattered. I could’ve moved halfway around the world and it wouldn’t change a damn thing.”
“But I broke your heart.”
She huffs infuriated. “I know you did, so call me stupid. You can’t help what the heart wants, Enzo. It’s clear you know that, which is why you’ve become this man – this weak male who gives up. Why would you give up if you love me? I know you do; I can still see it when you look at me. However much you try to hide behind the anger and strive to make it seem like you hate me being here, I can see that you laying your eyes on me felt exactly the same for me as it did for you ... It was one of the best moments for a long time.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t deserve you. I never did, and I never will.”
“Will you shut up,” Alessa says, approaching him, cupping his face. “Will you just shut up and feel something other than guilt, Enzo?”
Silence laps around us, consuming us all as we watch what will become of these two. I can see why Enzo is reticent, but I hate how he second-guesses his own heart. I’ve been the girl who denied what her heart wanted, and it only exacerbated the cracks, threatening to force them to such extremes that no one would ever mend them.
He needs to see that taking a leap of faith will allow him to dare to love again.
Alessa’s shoulders drop as all her walls tumble down, and she mutters something so silent, I almost miss it. “Oh, fuck it.”
Her quiet words end with her pulling Enzo down, allowing – for the first time in years – for their lips to meet in pure tenderness. I suppress my sound of pleasure as I watch their lips connect, Enzo clearly showing Alessa how much he has loved her over the years, how the distance only made his heart grow fonder. He finally trusts his heart to guide him through this moment. He finally believes her words and accepts the feelings he’s suppressed for too long.
“Leave them be,” Zane whispers, wrapping a strong hand delicately around my tiny wrist. “You can come back and ogle another time, my little romantic.”
I steal one last look before I obey and go back into the house.
Finally, all of the Abbiatis are getting the good life.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I awake when I roll over, and my leg hits a cool part of the mattress. In the dark, I reach out blindly to touch Zane, to pull him close, to sink against his body, but I find myself gripping desperately at the sheets.
Peeling my eyes open, I strain to make sense of the black shapes in my room until I cave and pull myself across the lonesome bed to peer at the bedside clock. It blares 4:37am, and I bury my head into his pillow, allowing his scent to intoxicate me and wake me at once. Rolling onto my back, I listen for noises, but I hear nothing.
For hours, I heard whispered voices, loving that memorable sound of a full house. Enzo had stayed until well past the stroke of midnight with Alessa talking, reminiscing, and finally venting. Dante and Ryleigh settled in the room I had now decided would be the nursery. It was opposite the master room and doused with such natural light that it felt perfect for such brightness to shroud our baby’s room.
Dragging my tired and weary body from the softness of the mattress, I creep through the house, careful of where I was stepping, noticing every move I made. Multiple times I stopped, barely breathing in case I woke anyone, but the house remained quiet apart from one noise – that heartbeat.
Once I made it to the steps, I wasn’t slow in rushing down to find the only lights shining in the house was the moonlight outside and the dim light from the television on the wall. When I walked into the front room, I noticed Zane sitting on the edge of the couch consumed with the sight in front of him. I notice how awake he is, his eyes wide as saucers as he stares.
“How many times have you watched this?” I ask, making the assumption based on the coldness of our bed.
Zane looks up. I notice his eyes full of tears, his mouth having fallen open in what I can only assume to be awe.
“I think this is my twentieth time, but I’m not sure.” His statement barely ends before he returns his attention to the screen. “That noise, Amelia ...” He trails off, staring at the flutter on the screen. “It didn’t feel real until I watched this. I me
an, I thought it didn’t, but seeing that ... We made a baby.”
I fall against the doorframe, leaning my head into it, and smile at him.
“We really did,” I reply, crossing my arms across my body. “Now, will you come back to bed? I don’t have brain functionality to deal right now.”
“I want to watch it one more time,” he says, lifting the remote to restart the disc.
I know getting him to leave the room – and the first glimpse of our child – is one battle I won’t win. Relenting, I cross the room, my feet dragging some with my sleepy mind, and I plop down on the couch next to him. I sit close to him but find myself dragged back to lounge beside him. If he’s going to capture me here like this, I’m going to make myself a bit more fucking comfortable. I throw my legs up on his and sink down further. He pushes play, and that all-too-familiar whooshing fills the room, rumbling from the surround sound.
As he sinks back, he doesn’t look away from the screen at first. I can tell he wants to talk, but he’s too mesmerized.
“Would you have ever thought, in your wildest dreams, we’d have survived?” he asks, allowing his head to fall so he can look at me. “I mean, did you ever think we’d win?”
“Honestly?” I ask, and he nods. “Never. I never thought we’d have ever turned out triumphant. Sitting here with you makes me fight the urge to pinch myself just to see if I’ll wake up. Fortunately, I only ever seem to wake up next to you ... except for tonight.”
“Sorry,” he apologizes, his eyes slowly rolling back to the screen. “I couldn’t get to sleep at all. I watched you for a little while, then I just started to think about everything and I remembered the disc sitting on the dresser. I snuck out while you slept, knowing everyone was up here. I was only going to watch it once.”
I giggle. “I kept telling myself when I had that ultrasound scan in my hand that I would put it down and not think of it until I was home, but I kept finding myself reaching for it.” I feel myself revert to that hospital room; the shock that befriended me was a heavy weight I can’t forget. “I guess I kept looking at that small shot telling myself that I wasn’t dreaming, that I wasn’t going to wake up, that I wasn’t going to have it all snatched away the moment I let myself have the good life.”
Femme Fatale Loved (Pericolo #3) Page 17
