The cheeky grin he now wore wasn’t lost on me. He wasn’t Stephen. I kept reminding myself of that.
“I could never leave you in the lurch when you need me.”
“What are you, my knight in shining armour?”
I saw the twinkle in his eyes as he laughed. “If you would like me to be.”
Looking away, I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies. No matter how much I kept reminding myself of who he was, it still didn’t stop that natural calming affect these angels had. It made me crave it.
“Simon wants us to go to dinner at his house tonight.” Regret filled me the moment the words left my lips. He didn’t invite us. He invited Stephen and me.
I saw the hesitation. It made me regret it even more. “Would you like me to come?”
Now he was putting the ball back in my court. How could I possibly want him to come when he looked like Stephen, sounded like Stephen, but was in no way like Stephen? In the end, my sense of putting everyone before myself won out. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“I would like you to only if you want to. I don’t know that much about you. It could be a chance to get to know each other more. You are Michael and Stephen’s brother, after all.”
Just as we walked up the steps to my door, Simeon smiled at me. “I would love to.”
I was about to tell him I was waiting on a call from Simon when my phone rang. Looking at the screen, I thought the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Can you hold on a sec? It’s Simon.” Simeon nodded. “Hey, Simon.”
“Hi, Cassie. Sorry I didn’t ring earlier. Today has been a little hectic. I believe Justin is going with a group of officers today to this site you were telling me about. I’m sure we will find out the results later.”
“That’s great. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Are you still on for later?”
“Yes, of course. What time would you like me to be there?”
“Around seven. Will Stephen be coming?”
I looked up to Simeon and saw his eager smile. “Yes, he will be coming.” Putting my hand over the receiver, I mouthed, Is seven okay? Simeon nodded.
“Do you need to be picked up?”
“No, I’m sure I can find my way down there. Maybe Stephen will ride with me.” I looked towards Simeon again, and he nodded.
Then he held out his hand. “Let me speak with him,” he whispered.
“Oh, hold up a sec. I actually have Stephen here with me. He would like to speak with you.”
“Okay, no problem.”
“I shall see you tonight then. I look forward to it.”
“Me, too, Cassie.”
I handed the phone to Simeon. He asked for his address and I could see he was mentally making a note. “Not to worry. I’m fairly knowledgeable with the area… I’ll pick Cassie up and we’ll make our way down there… I look forward to it, sir. Thank you.”
Simeon hung up and, with an impish grin, handed the phone back to me. “What are you looking so pleased about?” I couldn’t help the light-heartedness in my voice. It was seeing Stephen’s face that brought it out in me.
“I’m going to have dinner with a very beautiful lady this evening. What is there to not smile about?”
*****
“Cassie! Cassie, dear!”
I looked and saw Ms. Summers heading down her stairs. “Ms. Summers, how are you?”
Her walking certainly seemed a bit better today. She was obviously out on her errands.
“Cassie, look at you. How are you holding up? Michael came over to tell me what had happened to you. I wanted to visit, but my arthritis has been acting up.”
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Summers. Is there anything you need?”
“Don’t be so silly,” she scolded. “Michael has been bringing me things. He’s a good boy. He’s certainly made up for the way he seemed to upset you that day.”
Simeon frowned, which made Ms. Summers look his way. “Sorry, Ms. Summers. This is Sime…Stephen.”
Ms. Summers regarded Simeon with a smile as she held out her hand. Simeon gracefully took it, laying a gentle kiss on her skin. With his wink and smile, she was immediately taken.
“Oh my!” she said, blushing. “You certainly fill your life with the most handsome men, Cassie.”
Shaking my head, I couldn’t help the huge grin on my face. “Yes, you could say that.” Looking towards Simeon, I saw my comment obviously pleased him.
“Are you healing well?”
I turned my attention back to Ms. Summers. “Yes, thank you. It is a bit sore every now and then, but much better than it was a few days ago.”
Squeezing my arms, she sighed. “Good. I’m glad you’re okay. I need to go run some errands. It’s a good day so I thought I’d venture out. Is there anything I can get you whilst I’m out?”
I laughed a little at this. It was usually the other way around. Somehow her asking me seemed funny. “I have all I need here, but thank you.”
Seeing the humour in my eyes, Ms. Summers chuckled. “Okay, dear. I shall be seeing you. Take care of yourself, Cassie. And make sure this one does, as well,” she said, pointing to Simeon as she walked away.
“Oh, I will,” Simeon laughed, calling out to her. “Don’t you worry about that.”
Eyeing Simeon suspiciously, I smiled. “Oh, you will, will you?” Quickly remembering where I was and who I was with, I cleared my throat. “It was nice seeing you again, Simeon. I can take the bags from here.”
Simeon breathed in deep. The sight almost had me weak at the knees. He looked so much like him, it hurt.
Making sure I had the door open first, Simeon handed me the bags. “I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”
Nodding, I smiled timidly as I shut the door. I could see the glint in his eyes. It was almost as if he was enjoying my turmoil, my confusion over him and Stephen. I knew I was being silly. He was an angel and would never relish in someone’s suffering. He was supposed to be the good twin. The one who kept his name because he did as he was told. It still didn’t erase the doubt in my mind.
After putting all my groceries away, I was about to sit down when I heard the doorbell. I walked over to the window to take a peak outside. Michael.
Opening the door, I could already see his intent because he was holding two helmets in his hands.
“I wasn’t sure if you would be up for this, what with your shoulder and everything, but I thought it might be nice to take you for lunch if you wanted.”
Leaning my shoulder up against the door frame, I regarded Michael with a sense of awe. He was like my rock, always there for me, always thinking about my needs first.
“I would love to, Michael. Hold up a second while I get my coat.”
I grabbed my things and walked out the door, awkwardly trying to put my coat on. “Here, let me help you,” Michael offered.
“Thank you, Michael. You’re a true friend.” And there it was. The truth. It slid out so easily. I felt the comment wasn’t lost on Michael, though. I felt the way he tensed as he put the coat around my shoulders.
I was about to face him and explain, but Michael interrupted me before I could start, “Here. Let’s get this helmet on you so we can get to lunch. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I haven’t eaten anything since I woke up. These nights throw my eating schedule out of whack. This is breakfast for me.”
All I did was nod as I made my way to the bike. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk about us right now, or if he felt this wasn’t the right time. All I knew was that it had to be said at some point.
We went to a quaint restaurant in Richmond. It was the same one he took me to when I was still confused and didn’t know what I wanted. Oh, how things have dramatically changed since then. How I have changed since then.
“So, how’s the shoulder?” Michael asked as we waited for our drinks to be served.
“It’s better now, thanks. It’s other things that are happening that seem to take over the pain, if
that makes sense.”
Frowning, Michael started playing with his napkin as he thought about what I said. “Can you elaborate?”
Clearing my throat, I sat up straighter. “I keep having these dreams.”
Michael leaned over the table a bit more. “Dreams. What dreams? Do you mean like the ones you used to have?”
I shook my head. “No, these are different. I keep dreaming about a door.”
“A door,” he asked, mildly amused.
I chuckled. “Yes, Michael, and stop taking the mickey.”
He threw his hands up in surrender as he laughed. “I’m sorry. Go on.”
“I can hear children’s laughter behind the door.”
“Really?” Now that seemed to catch his attention.
“I wouldn’t normally take any notice, but it seems so vitally important that I open the door. I don’t know why. It almost feels like I would get the answer to something if I can just get that door open. It sounds silly. The answer to what? It’s frustrating the hell out of me. Not only that, but I’m hearing voices.”
“Voices!” Michael shouted, causing other diners to turn in our direction. Smiling slightly, he lowered his voice. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for that to be so loud.”
“Quite frankly, it’s pissing me off, Michael. It’s my voice, but it’s not my voice. What the hell is going on? Am I going loopy?”
Michael chuckled. “Loopy, no. I just think you’re trying to heal after a very traumatic experience. It’s only natural.”
I could see the sincerity in his eyes, but I knew he was lying. I knew he knew why I was having these dreams. I just didn’t know what theory drew me to that conclusion.
“Who am I, Michael? Please tell me.” His panicked expression lead me to believe I was right.
“You know I can’t, Cassie. I would get into a whole heap of trouble if I made you remember.”
I sighed. “I know. I know. I’m sorry I asked. I just feel… I don’t know… Like I’m on the tip of something special, something colossal. Does that make sense?”
Michael smiled and leaned back in his chair as our drinks came. “It makes perfect sense.”
“Was Simeon the only one who saw you at the hospital?” I could see a hint of fear in his eyes. I didn’t know why, but I was sure I was getting to the bottom of it.
“What do you mean?” I could see the exaggerated gulp as he sipped his drink.
“Simeon left and came to find you. What about the others?”
Michael fidgeted in his chair as he pondered my question. Why was he having so much difficulty answering?
“Erm, well… There was one other. Luana.”
Seeing Michael fidget some more made me aware that he was hiding something from me. I’m pretty sure it had to do with Luana. Also, the name did ring a bell. I was sure he briefly mentioned her when I was in the hospital.
“Is she okay?”
“Yes, she fine. I assume she’s back home by now.” I was about to respond when he said, “That phone call you made, Cassie. The one before everything happened?”
Now it was my turn to feel uneasy. Very cleverly, he’d diverted the attention back on me.
“I was going to speak with you about that. I just knew we needed to talk. That’s why I asked you to come by the next day instead of straight after work.” I knew he was planning on seeing me. Stephen confirmed as much. When I was running home that night to declare my love to Stephen, I wanted it to be done without interruption.
“I think I got too impatient. I just felt like there was something wrong. I’m glad I went with my gut.”
“Me, too,” I admitted. If it wasn’t for Michael doing his guardian duties, I wouldn’t be here today. If it wasn’t for Stephen, I wouldn’t be here today, either.
“So, are you comfortable talking about it now? Do you want to tell me what it was you wanted to discuss?”
Sighing, I thought it was now or never. I kind of got the feeling he already knew what I was going to say. He just needed me to confirm it. But why did I feel like such a shit? Maybe it was because he poured his heart out to me and loved me unconditionally and now… Now I was about to slap him right in the face. Take all that time, love, and care he had shown me and throw it back at him. In the short time I had known what it was to love, I was stuck between two men I loved unreservedly, but in two completely different ways.
“I wanted to talk to you about us—well, about you, me, and Stephen.”
“Okay. I kind of gathered that. You found where your heart lies, I take it.”
I had to smile at that. He didn’t say “You made your choice”, or “You’ve finally decided to pick one”. What he said was gentle, making it much more bearable for me.
“You could say that.”
Michael took another sip of his drink, placed it back on the table, and sighed. “You chose Stephen, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t even move. I was in shock. Why did the fact he knew surprise me?
Meeting his eyes, I could see his expectations. From the way he stared, I could tell he wanted closure. Who was I to prolong his agony any further?
I took a deep breath and was about to answer when his phone rang. Looking at it, he said, “Excuse me a minute. This is work, so I have to take it.”
I nodded, watching as his face turned into a frown. “Where is this?… “Okay. I’m on my way.”
With a click of a button, he hung up, rose out of his chair, threw a note on the table, and looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go in. There are riots in Central London and they’re requesting full back-up.”
Without hesitation, I rose out of my seat and followed Michael to his bike. I guess the conversation had to wait again. It also made me wonder whether this would affect Simeon coming later.
Chapter 9
Stephen
Damn, I was pissed! I had just gotten out of the Archangels Council after my request to return to earth. Of course Gabriel was there, it did involve his daughter, and you could tell he was just itching to throw anything at me. Everyone knew about Cassie’s choice now. It wasn’t hard for them to figure out after I begged them to let me go. Archangel Gabriel just shrugged and told me that, in time, he was sure she could learn to love Michael.
Fuck, if that didn’t crush me! Knowing she chose me, that thought made me physically sick. And the fact I know he’s right didn’t help. I might have been an angel, but I was a fowl-mouthed, independent tear-away who never stuck to the rules. If I went by the film she made me watch, Cassie was right when she said I was more like the Michael in the movie.
Fuck, I missed her. I know I’d get into trouble for cursing, but I didn’t care. I needed her as much as earth needed a sun. I was nothing without her. She was suffering. I could feel it. I felt her pain coursing through me like a fucking hurricane. I know she was physically hurting because of her injury, but nothing compared to what I could feel happening on the inside. Didn’t it worry her father that she was in so much pain? Didn’t he realise just how much I could give his daughter that no one, not even Michael, could give her?
However, Archangel Charisma was a different story. I could tell she wanted what was best for her daughter. I could tell she was suffering in that meeting just as much as I was. She loved Archangel Gabriel, but even she could see his dominance was taking away Cassie’s one chance of being truly happy. She wanted me, she needed to be with me—plain and fucking simple.
“I can see it in your head, Stephen. No amount of cursing is going to solve anything.”
Looking up through my clouded thoughts, I saw Archangel Charisma smiling softly at me. Cassie definitely had her gentleness. She made you feel special, and seemed to have this knack of keeping you calm.
“I’m sorry, Archangel Charisma. I just can’t understand what happened in there. You and I both know she’ll never remember.”
Placing her hand on my shoulder, she tugged at me to look at her. “Oh, ye of little faith. Cassie is st
rong—stronger then she even knows she is. I think even her father has misjudged her a little.”
She could see the shock in my eyes. How could it possibly be true? Once our souls reach earth and find a body, we are born renewed. We have no memory of our previous life.
I could hear her father’s words: “You can go back to earth on one condition. That Cassie remembers who she is.” He knew it would be physically impossible.
“I wish there was some way I could help her.”
“Stephen, you know that’s against the rules. It could end up getting you caught and sent to Limbo. Then your chances of being together again are slim and you know it. I want my daughter to be happy. I can see that’s with you. I also know why she has chosen you.”
My eyes met hers, shock still coursing through me. How much did she really know?
“I know what you did.”
And there was my answer. Shit, what do I say now?
“There is no need to curse, Stephen. As I said before, it won’t get you anywhere.”
She actually smiled at me. How could she smile when she knew what happened?
“What you did was reckless and stupid. At the same time, I understand why you did it. You’re an honourable man, Stephen, who didn’t deserve what happened.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know how you can say that.”
Charisma sighed. “Look, I know you have been patient. I know you’ve been waiting for what seems like an eternity. All I ask is that you have faith. Faith in my daughter. Faith in your soulmate.”
Seeing the sincerity in her eyes, I couldn’t help the tears threatening to run. I wasn’t an emotional person. I didn’t do sitting around in a group, spilling my feelings and showing how a man can cry. I take my feelings and my pain, and keep it hidden deep within. For some reason, Charisma saw the good in me. She saw how much I could be for Cassie. And, for some reason, she knew. She’s the only one who seemed to know.
“I don’t know what to say.” I was truly speechless. I had kept this secret for so long, it almost didn’t feel like one. I could almost believe what everyone else believed happened. I was a good actor, but now that I knew Charisma knew, it filled me with a new sense of hope.
Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) Page 8
