Then I understood. I knew he would grieve over his sister. There was no doubt in my mind that he suffered for his loss.
“Selfishly, I had someone with whom I could grieve. Even if it was a six-year-old tough cookie,” he smiled. “It was unbearable losing my sister, but it would have been the death of me to lose you, Cassie.” He grew silent again, letting it all sink in. “You know, I never told you this, but when you were born and I came to visit you for the first time, it was…overwhelming for me.”
“In what way?”
“It’s silly. I mean, I knew I never wanted children of my own. I chose to live my life the way I have and I embraced the fact children wouldn’t be a part of it. It was only when I laid my eyes on you that I thought I saw what every mother sees when they first see their child…complete and utter devotion.
“From that moment on, I knew I would cherish and protect you with everything I had. I was going to be the best goddamned uncle who ever lived.”
Laughing, I placed my hand on his knee. “And now you’re going to be the best goddamned husband on the planet.”
“Do you really think so?”
I nodded. “I know so.”
“I know so, too,” a timid voice said from the hall.
Looking up, we both heard the door close as Chris entered the living room. “I gather you’ve told her?”
“Yes, I have,” Billy beamed.
“Come here, Cassie. Give your other uncle a hug and a kiss.”
I eagerly leapt into the air and ran into Chris’ arms. “I’m so happy for you,” I breathed, kissing him on the cheek.
“Oh, well, you know… I thought it was about time I made your uncle an honest man of himself,” he teased. “Aside from the fact I would never hear the end of it, of course.”
“Eh!” Billy protested. “I know we’re getting married soon, but that still doesn’t mean I’m not averse to kicking your butt.”
Chris rolled his eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Despite their teasing, they were in love and about to make that love official. Everyone will know just how serious they are about one another. I never doubted it, and I imagine anyone who has ever seen them together would never doubt it, either. It was almost as if they were meant to be.
“Stop it, you two. You know as well as I do that you both want this. Quit teasing and give each other a hug.” I stood there, but they didn’t move. “Come on. I want to see the love.”
They both smiled and moved into an embrace. I couldn’t take it and decided to join in. Despite what I’ve been through lately, I was very happy for them. They were getting married and the thought filled me with joy.
“Have you asked her yet?” Chris asked Billy.
Billy smiled. “No, I wanted to wait until you got home.”
Standing back, I stared at them. “Asked me what?”
“To be our best man—well, best woman,” Chris beamed.
Gasping, I hugged both of them again. “Nothing would make me more proud. Of course I would. I would be honoured.”
Chris clapped his hands. “Great! Well, this is cause for a celebration. Wait here whilst I get the champagne. Actually, Cassie, are you allowed to drink?”
I nodded. “I think I’ll be okay. I haven’t needed to take any pain meds yet today.”
Chris smiled. “Okay then. I’ll get three glasses.”
He disappeared, leaving Billy and I alone again. “How is your shoulder, Cassie? It’s hard to acknowledge it, considering it just reminds me of what I could have lost.”
Pulling him to me, I gripped the back of his shirt. “I’m not going anywhere, Billy.”
Gripping me tighter, he sighed. “I know. Just make sure it stays that way.”
Nodding, I pulled away just as Chris came back in with a bottle of chilled champagne and three glasses. He set the glasses on the table and popped the cork. We all cheered as he poured the contents into the glasses.
We each grabbed a glass. Chris smiled. “To new beginnings.”
It was a strange toast, but one I felt was apt right now. New beginnings were something to embrace and enjoy. You never knew whether your new beginnings would be joyful or not, but they would bring you life’s lessons.
“To new beginnings,” both Billy and I said.
We stood in silence for a while as I let the bubbles slide down my throat. Closing my eyes, I let the coldness take over. Once I opened them, I had Chris staring back at me.
“Now, tell me, flower. What’s been happening with you lately?”
Looking over at Billy, we stared at each other for a moment, then laughed. “Where do I begin?” I replied.
Chapter 14
Stephen
The more I saw of Cassie, the more I hurt. Even though she tried to hide it from her family and friends, she was suffering. I could tell. I know her better than anyone.
Seeing her with Simeon enraged me. It made my blood boil to the point I thought I might scream. I wanted to yank him away, tell him to take his filthy hands off her. He wasn’t worthy of her. He was like a leech, sucking the life out of everyone in his path. Sucking the life out of my Cassie.
If I ever got hold of him, I was going to wring his goddamned neck. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout at Michael for leaving her there under his care. If he knew, he would never have left.
Waiting, the anticipation was coursing through my veins. I was so angry at him for abandoning her.
“Alexander, look who has returned,” my father announced.
Looking up, I saw his smug grin. “Stephen, how are you?”
Without thinking, I lurched to my feet and wrapped my hands around his neck. Michael was a strong man, but he was no match for me when it came to my anger. I seemed to take on the strength of a hundred men when I felt like this. I should have been worried that I would somehow hurt him, but I was too angry to care.
“How could you have left her, Michael? How could you?”
My father tried to pry me off him, but it was no use. I was gripping so hard, I thought he would pass out.
“Alexander, stop it!”
I wasn’t listening. I had fire in my eyes and I wanted Michael to feel its force. All I saw in return were questions. Why? his eyes were asking. Why are you doing this? That made the anger come even more. Why didn’t he already know?
Just as I thought I would snap, my father’s words stopped me. “What would Cassie say if she knew you were doing this?”
Releasing the grip on his neck, I knew he was right. Cassie would be so disappointed in me if she knew I was treating Michael this way. The problem was that they didn’t know. No one knew but me.
“And it’s good to see you, too, brother,” Michael rasped, rubbing his throat.
Scowling at him, I very nearly broke. My father’s hand flew up in the air, halting any further altercations. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Alexander. You were always at each other’s throats, even when you were little. But now you’re grown men with a history. You need to put what is in the past behind you and move on.”
Getting frustrated, I shoved my hands through my hair. “You don’t understand, Father. Michael’s left her all on her own.”
Michael looked shocked. “What are you talking about? I would never leave Cassie on her own. It was time we said goodbye. Simeon is there to hold the fort.”
Growling, I walked up to Michael. “You don’t fucking get it, do you?”
“Alexander!” my father shouted. “You will never speak such language again. You’re not on earth any longer, young man. Just remember where you’re speaking.”
Shit, I was so fucking riled up, I wasn’t thinking straight. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I knew I was saying the wrong thing, but Cassie was my number one priority. Whatever was said and done, having her safe was the only thing that mattered to me.
“I’m sorry, Father, but Michael doesn’t understand.”
Michael huffed. “I think I understand perfectly. I think Stephen is worried t
hat his replica is going to steal his potential mate. He’s worried that she’ll fall for his charms because he looks and acts so much like him.”
I was so sick of this shit. So sick of being compared to that lowlife of a brother. But, most of all, I felt sick that she was left behind with him.
What Michael said was true, although it sickened me to admit it. I was concerned she would fall for his charms. I was concerned he would sweep her off her feet. But, mostly, I was concerned he would play this for all it was worth.
“You know nothing. You all know nothing! You’ve left her there, Michael. Pure and simple. You’ve left her on her own, unprotected. You may as well have put her in a cage and let the lions in.”
Michael shook his head. “I can understand your jealousy, Stephen, but I don’t think it’s warranted. We all know she wants you. Anyone can see that.”
Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. “It’s not that, Michael. Believe me when I say it isn’t. It makes me getting back to earth more paramount than ever now. I have to be with her. She’s not safe. She needs me.”
The frustration ebbed through my entire body. If only there was some way I could be there, even if just for a short time. I wanted her away from harm—away from Simeon.
Feeling Michael’s hand on my shoulder, I tensed. “I’m sorry, Stephen. I truly am. If I had known you felt this strongly, I would have stayed longer. I just thought I was doing the right thing. I would have only delayed the inevitable and ended up causing Cassie more pain. You can see where the logic in this is, can’t you?”
I nodded. Michael wasn’t to know. In fact, if I had been there, I would have suggested he go back as soon as he could myself. Although Cassie’s desire for Michael had faded, she still called out for him. She still sought him—she still loved him. And I could accept that now because I knew the love is pure. She didn’t lust for him anymore. She didn’t feel the burning whenever he was around. What she felt for him was companionable, spiritual, and affectionate, not sexual, physical, and carnal. What she felt for me bound us together. We were each other’s anchors—strong, secure, always there when needed.
Feeling I had come to the end of the road, I had to move on. There were things which had to remain unsaid, for everyone’s sake. I had more important issues at hand now. I had to take care of Cassie. If I couldn’t be there for her in body, I had to be there in spirit. She needed me now more than ever.
Chapter 15
I spent a few more hours with Billy and Chris. In that time, I had told Chris what happened. I knew I could trust him with this. I could trust him with my life if it came down to it. Life without Stephen was indescribable, but with my family around to help, it made the pain a little more bearable. I was unhappy, but I was alive. I had that to be grateful and thankful for that.
Spending time with them made me happy. They were always the two people I could come to and rely on. They sat there, listened attentively and without interruption. Billy was hearing this a second time around, but he never looked bored or let on that he may be.
In the time I was there, I stuffed myself and drank some more wine. I was starting to feel a little woozy, so I thought it best to quit whilst I was ahead. “I think I’m going to have to go now. I’m feeling a bit tired.” Chris and Billy exchanged worried looks. “I’m fine, really. I think I just need an early night. That’s all.”
Both of them relaxed. “Okay, but make sure you pop around more often. We have a wedding to plan.”
As I got up, I smiled, thinking there was nothing more I would like to do. “Of course. That goes without saying.”
After hugging them tightly, I grabbed my coat and bag, and reached for the door. “Thank you for the lovely meal, Chris. You always were a great cook.”
Chris looked smug, like he always did when I complimented his cooking. I actually liked that look on him. “You’re welcome, Cassie. Have a good rest and we’ll see you soon.”
With a wave, I was gone and the cold breeze hit me with brute force. It was dark now and all the lights were twinkling bright. Christmas was looming and I hadn’t even thought about presents yet.
Moaning, I retraced the steps back to my house. Along the way, I felt like someone was watching me. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t seem to find anything out of the ordinary.
Shrugging, I neared the door to my flat when I heard my name being called. “Cassie!”
Searching for the voice, I was surprised to find Hamish running towards me. “Hamish?” I called, not knowing what else to say. Would he be angry with me? Will he demand to know why I never saw the evilness in Kali?
As he ran towards me, I braced myself, ready to tackle whatever it was he wanted to throw at me. I felt bad for Hamish. He was obviously smitten with her, so the news that she was a cold-blooded killer must have shocked him to the core.
As he neared the steps, a lovely smile spread across his face. I realized just how tense I was and my posture immediately relaxed.
“Cassie, how are you?”
The poor sod looked tired. Hamish was always rather handsome in a pretty way. He normally had wavy blonde locks and bright green eyes. Today, his hair seemed a little less vibrant, and his eyes were heavy with dark purple bags underneath them. It made him look a little ill.
“I’m fine, Hamish. More importantly, how are you?”
Smiling, Hamish shook his head. “You’re the one who got shot.”
“I know. It’s just that… You look tired. When was the last time you slept?”
Placing his hands in his pockets, he squeezed his arms to his body. He was obviously cold. “Look, come in for a bit. It’s too cold outside. Besides,” I said, looking around, “by the looks of those clouds, I think I can see rain coming.”
Hamish smiled and I turned for the door. I let us both in and, in no time, we were settled on the sofa with a good British cup of tea.
Hamish sipped his and closed his eyes, smiling. “Thanks. I really needed that. I’ve just come off from a double shift.”
Patting his knee, I scolded him. “Why don’t you get yourself home then? You must need the rest.” Poor guy looks like he wasn’t getting any sleep even when he was able to.
Placing his cup on the table, Hamish faced me. “You know, I’ve been meaning to come around for days. I meant to visit you in the hospital. I just didn’t know how. I felt guilty because I should have done something to prevent what happened.”
Here I was, worrying about what he thought when he had exactly the same idea. “You know what? You and I are a right old pair.”
“Why?” he asked, shocked.
“When you approached me, I didn’t know whether you were going to shout at me, throw things at me, or what.” It made me laugh. I had misjudged Hamish a great deal—not that I had anything to go by. I didn’t know him that well.
“Why on earth would I shout at you? Or throw things at you?” His face was a little questioning, which was rather adorable. I didn’t want him to think I felt anything bad about him.
“I was thinking maybe you would have wanted to know why I didn’t see it. Why I couldn’t have possibly known she was the way she was.”
His face instantly relaxed, which made my heart calm a little. “She hid it well.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “She certainly did.”
Hamish sighed, and I knew that part of the conversation was over. “Have you been well?”
My heart ached when I thought of Stephen. “All things considered, I’m okay. The shoulder is healing nicely. I have the occasional twinge to remind me it’s still there, but it’s getting easier by the day.”
Hamish leaned forward to take a brief sip of his tea. “I bet it’s awkward trying to get things done.”
I chuckled. “‘Awkward’ being the operative word,” I huffed. “I am getting used to it, though.”
“How is Stephen coping with the news? I bet he was shocked, too, wasn’t he?”
I thought back to the horror we all felt when we found out Ka
li was, in fact, Elizabeth. “That’s a bit of an understatement, Hamish. I knew she liked him, she told me that much when we first met him, but I didn’t know the extent of it. When she found out he liked me instead, she was a little off at first, but then became rather nonchalant about the whole thing.”
I thought back to the memories of when we were children. Kali was so sweet and innocent back then. She played with me like any other child would. Little did I know she had the mind of an adult and, not only that, she harboured secrets that would, inevitably, lead to my destruction.
“You can’t help who you’re attracted to.” Hamish exhaled, bringing me back to the present.
“That you can’t, Hamish. You’re right. Sometimes, it’s good; other times, it’s bad. It depends on who it is.
“Like me, you mean.”
I instantly regretted what I said once I saw the pain in his eyes. I didn’t want to be the cause of any pain. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, reaching his hand out to mine. “I knew what you meant.”
The first thought that came to my head was, Oh no. He’s reaching out to me. The second thought was, Shit. It’s already there. By the time he had his hand on mine, it was too late. I immediately stiffened, bracing myself for the inevitable barrage of memories to come.
Rushes of memories as a boy came to me so fast, it was hard to keep up. He had lots of friends and they all seemed like they were up to no good. He was a little tear-away when he was little—much to his parent’s dismay. They were all shocked when he announced he was becoming a police officer. I think they all thought he was bound to be on the other side of the law.
Next were the memories of him and Kali. I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t want to delve into his time with her. I was still too raw from it myself. I tried desperately to ignore them and hoped they would go away, but his memory of her was strong. He was actually falling in love with her.
“Hamish, I’m so sorry,” I said, pulling my hand away. “You were falling for her.”
Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) Page 15
