“Yes of course,” Rayne said, letting it go since she wasn’t altogether sure she wanted to know what else he’d gotten from her mind without her knowing. “I used to be able to hold it up for hours without having to think about it much. I just wanted to see how long I could hold it up all the way.” She paused a moment, then said, “There, that’s better.”
“I wish that I had enough strength to send you some healing energy,” Wolef said. “A century or two ago, I could’ve done so.”
“As long as you’re strong enough to send me back in time, that’s all that really matters,” Rayne said. “
“Do not concern yourself about that, Solin,” Wolef said. “I will conserve enough strength for that, I promise. But it will take a great deal of effort on your part to reach me, no matter how close you are, and if you fail in that, then there is no point to any of this. I cannot send you healing energy, but I can send you power. Not a lot, I’m afraid, but it may make the difference between success and failure.”
“Are you sure it won’t weaken you too much?”
“If it does, it will not matter. Once you’re gone, I’ll have no more need for power. It’ll be up to you to find your way back here.”
“I’m worried about that,” Rayne said as she laid down on the small cot that was the only furniture in the cell the Doftle had locked her in aside from the tiny tray table. It bothered her that she was so tired after just a few laps of her cell, but she kept that to herself.
“Worried about what, exactly?”
“About my return to the Facility. Assuming I get the name of whatever planet we’re orbiting from a hand terminal, I doubt that the Doftle will just sit back and let me destroy this place.”
“It’s going to be even more complicated than that, I’m afraid,” Wolef said. “Have you ever heard of something called Blind Sight?”
“Yes, I have,” Rayne said. “It was technology the Xanti used and, more recently, the Nomen used it on Garza.”
“The Doftle are the ones who created Blind Sight for the Xanti, and they make extensive use of it themselves. Everything they have, ships, yachts, space stations, even their base world, are all protected by Blind Sight.”
“That’s bad, Wolef,” she said worriedly. “Jasani ships have cloaking devices, but as far as I know, there’s no way to break through a Blind Sight system. A ship could be in the same orbit as this space station for a year and never find it.”
“One thing at a time,” Wolef said. “First, a cloaking device may not be enough. I will not say a cloaked ship cannot escape detection. I can say, however, that the Doftle have spotted cloaked vessels in the past, more than once. Only Blind Sight will allow you to hide from the Doftle as well as the Doftle hide from everyone else.”
“Tani told me that there were a couple of Blind Sight systems on Garza, including one big enough to hide the entire planet. I should be able to borrow one for a time since they aren’t using them.”
“Excellent,” Wolef said. “Now, the second problem is, how will you find the Facility while it’s being hidden by Blind Sight?”
“I hope you have an idea because I’m tapped.”
“Actually, I do,” Wolef said.
“I’m listening.”
“If you happen to be orbiting close enough to the Facility, we might be able to communicate with each other as we are right now.”
“And if not?”
“In that case, feelings travel much further than words.”
“Feelings?”
“Yes, feelings. Emotions, particularly extreme emotions, travel for quite some distance.”
“You’re going to send out emotions for me to find you by?” Rayne asked, confused. “I’m not sure if I’m capable of picking up on that. I can feel my sisters, but only if they’re within a few miles of me. My sister Salene can feel people she’s connected with from very far away, but I don’t have that talent.”
“That’s fine as that is not what I intended. I can duplicate the calls you sent out for your bears.”
“You can do that?”
“You sent them loud and clear. I’ll have no trouble duplicating them, I assure you.”
“What good will it do?” Rayne asked. “They never came, in case you didn’t notice.”
“Since they’re most likely on the far side of Known Space, I cannot imagine how they could possibly have heard you. I’m more surprised that your sister hasn’t come if she has such a talent for it.”
“I must be too far away for her to feel me, too,” Rayne said. “If everyone is too far away to hear the calls, I don’t know what good it will do for you to send them.”
“You will bring your bears with you when you return, of course,” Wolef said. “I’ll wait a few days after you leave since it will surely take some time for you to return. Then I’ll begin sending out calls to your bears on a regular basis. A couple of times every four or five hours should be sufficient.”
“Wait,” Rayne said. “If I’m a year in the past, then how will you know to send out calls when it’ll be another twelve months before you even speak to me?”
“I have the ability to fold time, so I’m also capable of maintaining several different timelines at once.”
“I don’t understand what that means.”
“Do you understand the precise mechanics of how we’re communicating with each other right now, mind to mind?”
“No, I don’t.”
“And yet, we’re still doing it.”
“Point taken.”
“There are many issues that you’ll be forced to deal with on your own, Rayne Dracon. Leave matters concerning time travel to me. Just bring your bears with you when you return.”
“Wolef, I’d really prefer not to bring the Bearen-Hirus back with me.”
“Why not?”
“I just…don’t want them involved,” she replied. “And I really don’t think it’ll work. Imitating the calls I sent won’t be the same as me calling them and I don’t know if they’d hear me even if they were in the cell next to me.”
“I will duplicate your calls, and your brain wave patterns, exactly,” Wolef said. “They will feel them as clearly as they would feel them coming from you.”
“But they didn’t feel them from me,” Rayne said again.
“I’d no idea you could be so stubborn,” Wolef said. “I admit to being somewhat surprised.”
“I don’t know whether that’s a compliment or an insult.”
“No?” he asked. “Tell me, Solin, do you have a better idea?”
“Yes, I do,” Rayne said, letting the evasion go since she really didn’t want to discuss it. “I’ll send out a call for my sister Salene that you can duplicate. Then I’ll bring her back with me and she’ll hear you when you repeat it.”
“How will you get here?”
“I may have failed to mention the fact that my parents are the Princes and Princess of Jasan.”
“Yes, I believe you did let that bit of information slip your mind,” he said dryly.
“My point is that I will not suffer from a lack of resources or aid,” Rayne said. “My parents could bring me. Or the Gryphons. Or the Katres. There were a number of trustworthy people visiting Garza for Tani’s wedding at the time I was abducted. Any of them would be willing to bring me back, I’m sure. All I need is for you to send me back no less than ten minutes after I was taken. Can you do that?”
“Why ten minutes?”
“Because when I was taken the Bearen-Hirus were looking right at me. I’m sure they thought I’d transported up to my parents’ ship since that’s what I thought I was doing. Ten minutes should be long enough for them to have left Garza and transported up to their own ship. I’ll find my parents, or my sisters, or someone to help me. Someone that isn’t them.”
“Forgive me, Solin, but I’m confused,” Wolef said. “Are they not your mates?”
“No, they’re not,” she said sadly. “They’re meant to be, but they don’t want me.”
“Please, Wolef, I really want to leave them out of this,” Rayne said. “I’ll come back here with Salene, find the Facility, and vaporize it.”
“I do not think this is a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ve told me already that your sister has a talent for feeling those she loves, and yet she has not found you.”
Rayne’s stomach did a slow roll of fear. “You think something has happened to her.”
“I think it’s a possibility that should not be ignored,” Wolef replied. “I propose that you call Salene so that I can duplicate it. Then I will send out calls to both your bears, and your sister.”
“Thank you, Wolef,” she said. “Will it take too much extra energy for you to do that?”
“No, Solin, it will not,” Wolef said. “Go ahead now and call to your sister.”
Chapter 7
Rayne held up her favorite work-out leotard and frowned as she thought of how pale, thin, and scarred she was, and how little the leotard would hide. On the up side, less than twenty four hours had passed since the Tigrens had healed her, and she was frankly amazed at how much better she felt. She thought she even looked a bit better already. At least the whites of her eyes were actually white now. As for the scars…well, all she could do about those was learn to live with them.
She returned the leotard to the drawer and selected a pair of black stretch pants instead. She opened another drawer and reached for a t-shirt, pausing as her fingers touched the cotton. Had Landor’s t-shirt really been so much softer than her own? Or did it just seem that way? She looked over her shoulder at the bottom drawer of the bedside table where she’d put Landor’s t-shirt when she’d made up the bed, but resisted the urge to take it out for comparison. Instead, she removed her shirt from the drawer and raised it to her face, inhaling deeply. Her shirt smelled like cotton. His shirt smelled a little like cotton, but also of oak and lime. Like he smelled. Like all three of them smelled, in fact. Con smelled a bit more of oak, and Ari a bit more of lime. Not a lot, but enough for her to know the difference between them without having to think about it.
“What am I doing?” she asked herself. She shook her head and closed the drawer a bit harder than strictly necessary. “Thinking about the Bearen-Hirus is on the to-do list for later,” she told herself firmly as she changed out of her pajamas, then sat down to put on her sneakers. Her stomach rumbled but she’d already drunk one glass of sasuna. What she wanted now was real food, but it would have to wait. Exercise first, breakfast later.
She stood up and walked to the door, unable to stop herself from wondering when the Bearen-Hirus generally woke up and where they might be. Her heart skipped a beat before she reminded herself that, since Landor told her that her room was protected and safe, they probably weren’t going to be in the corridor outside.
“Whether they are or aren’t, it doesn’t matter,” she told herself firmly. “I’m not a prisoner, I want to use the treadmill, and I don’t need anyone’s permission to leave this room.” She raised her full shield, turned the door knob, and pulled the door open, releasing a slow breath when she saw that the corridor was empty.
Thanks to the vid-terminal in her room she knew exactly where the equipment room was, and how to get to it. She walked slowly, took the stairs instead of the elevator, and kept close to the wall, but she didn’t see anyone else along the way. A few minutes later she was walking on a treadmill in an otherwise vacant equipment room, feeling proud of herself even though she still had her shield fully up. While she walked, she let her mind wander.
Her mother hadn’t exaggerated when she’d reminded Rayne that she’d spent her entire life dreaming of the day she would finally meet her Rami. It was true, and she didn’t mind admitting it. But it was also true that dreams didn’t always work out the way you expected, and just because something was meant to be, didn’t mean it would be.
Arima House, the place where confirmed berezis went to find their future Rami, was on Dracon Ranch, and had been one of her favorite places to spend time when she was a child. She loved watching male-sets and berezis meet each other for the first time, which literally happened almost daily at Arima House. But, while it was true that most of them fell in love and went happily off to link with each other, there were exceptions.
She’d seen women take one look at their destined male-set and run for the first transport home. She’d seen male-sets choose to spend the remainder of their lives alone and childless rather than link with the one woman destined for them. And, perhaps worst of all, she’d seen women and male-sets who had no liking for each other decide to link anyway on the premise that, since they were destined, they’d eventually find a way to make it work.
Rayne accepted that there were no guarantees. Some people just didn’t hit it off with other people and it didn’t matter if they were supposed to be together or not. She’d decided years earlier that if such a thing happened to her, she’d fulfill her dreams of having lots of children through adoption instead. She would never commit herself to a lifelong relationship with anyone that she didn’t love, or who didn’t love her.
So, the first and most important questions were, could the Bearen-Hirus ever love her as she was? And could she love them?
They’d hurt her feelings. A lot. But, she also had to admit that their actions since finding her on the mesa had been all that any woman could ask of her Rami-to-be. They’d been kind, gentle, considerate, and protective. Had all of that just been a Clan Jasani male-set’s protective nature toward any woman in distress? Or was there more to it?
She wanted to think there was more to it, but it wasn’t easy when she knew that they’d avoided her for four years. Their explanation for what they’d done, and why, had made sense, and Con’s apology had seemed sincere.
On the other hand, they’d admitted that they’d only responded to her scent once. She’d never heard of such a thing, and wasn’t sure what to think of it, but she supposed it had something to do with why they weren’t sexually attracted to her. She still didn’t know how she knew that, but she was sure of it. There’d been a few times, when Landor had brushed his fingers on her hand or cheek that she’d sensed…something…, but it was gone too fast for her to be sure. There’d also been a few instances when she thought she’d felt attracted to them, and she definitely liked the way they looked, but again, she didn’t really know anything for certain, and that bothered her too. These things were supposed to be instantaneous and absolute. Weren’t they? Maybe there was something wrong with her.
They needed to get to know each other, she decided. They had to see her as she truly was, and she needed to find out who they were, too. Once they got to know each other, then they could decide what to do next.
By the time she’d made her decision she’d walked half a mile, and her legs were trembling. Half a mile wasn’t very much, but it was a start, and she was pleased with herself. She turned off the treadmill and sat down, resting until the trembling stopped. The walk back to her room was a little harder than the walk out had been since this time she climbed up the stairs. She had to stop several times to rest, but she was determined not to use the elevator. When she reached her room she went inside and locked it behind her before letting her shield down enough that she could be seen, while still hiding her emotions.
***
“That was…odd,” Con said, stepping into the hall a few moments after Rayne closed and locked her door.
“What was odd?” Landor asked from his own doorway.
“The camera showed her door opening, then closing, but there was no sign of her or anyone else. Just like earlier. The alarm went off again too.”
Landor nodded as he glanced at his hand terminal. He’d heard the alarm himself, which was why he’d opened his door. “We need to check that alarm system.”
“I’ll do it later,” Con said. “When she’s finished being angry with us.”
“Wh
at makes you so sure she’s going to finish?” Ari asked.
“You don’t think she will?” Con asked with a worried frown.
“I honestly don’t know, Con.”
“What do you think, Landor?” Con asked.
“I don’t think anger is her strongest emotion at the moment,” Landor replied. “I think she’s hurt. Deeply hurt. And for damn good reason.”
“We hurt her?” Ari asked.
“Yes, I think we did,” Landor said. “Think about what she said to us last night. That she’d been an adult for four years, and how happy Salene was to know that the Gryphons were her future Rami even though she hadn’t wanted it to happen so soon.”
“But she wasn’t ready for us,” Con began, then froze. “Oh squilik shit. We only thought she wasn’t ready for us.”
“Exactly,” Landor replied. “I think that she was not only ready, but waiting.”
“Waiting?” Ari asked.
“Yes, waiting,” Landor said. “Remember how we felt watching everyone around us find their Arimas and have children while we hoped and prayed for the same?” Con and Ari both nodded. “Well, Rayne just watched Tani get married, and Salene will soon be officially mated to her Gryphons. Then she finds out that the men meant to be her Rami spent seven years, four of those after she reached adulthood, staying as far away from her as we could get. Forget about our reasons for a moment and put yourself in her place. How would you feel?”
“I don’t much care for the picture you just painted of us,” Ari said. “But I can’t argue with its accuracy. How could we be so blind?”
“It’s worse than that,” Con said.
“What do you mean?” Landor asked.
“We spent years gathering every scrap of information we could find about Rayne to satisfy our curiosity, to make ourselves feel better about having to wait for her. We had our reasons, I know that, and it was logical to us at the time. But that doesn’t change the fact that we satisfied our needs without even considering hers. If she spent the past four years waiting for us, it’s our own damn fault that we didn’t know because we never once bothered to speak to her, let alone get close enough to look into her eyes. We violated one of our most sacred laws against the woman meant to be our Arima, and we didn’t do it just once. We did it over and over again for years.”
Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) Page 11
