“You do mean something.” And that’s when he realized he needed to step back. Because he did care for her. But he’d already let her down. If he stayed on longer and became more involved, he’d only make things worse.
“If I mean something to you then how could you sit back and let this happen?”
He stood. “Kinsley, it’s not that simple,” he said, his frustration building. “It’s different. This is business.”
Unfortunately everything was business to him. Never personal. That was the catch to being with him that most women he dated understood. No expectations. No chance he’d hurt them. He’d always held a piece of himself back. But not with Kinsley. And look where that had gotten him.
“What happens now?” she asked. “With us.”
“I head back to New York on Monday.”
Once the words left his lips, Damon was gripped by a familiar feeling, similar to the grief he’d had when his brother had died.
But he still made no promises to call or plans to visit. Better to have a clean break before they became any more involved. Just the way he ended all his relationships.
He numbly came around his desk, feeling a growing need to touch her. “I hope you know how I feel about you. I didn’t want to end things like this. You were never meant to find out this way.”
She went very still for a moment. Then met his gaze, almost daring him to look away. “How long have you known about this?”
“What?”
“How long have you known that the St James Corporation was planning on selling the hotel? Hours? Days? Or did you know from the very beginning?”
He said nothing.
“What was this all for, then?” she said, flinging her hands up. “The budget you gave me, the friendship? Did you think you could use me to somehow get more money when you sold the hotel? Look better to your father and the board?”
“Kinsley, I really did have full confidence in your abilities. I never—”
“I’m not listening to any more of this.” She turned around and headed back out the door, but he followed closely at her heels, needing her to hear him out.
“Kinsley, you have to believe me.” He reached for her, but she shrugged his hand away.
“Why should I believe you? You’ve been lying to me all this time.”
“Please.” He took a steadying breath. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
She gave a choked, bitter laugh. “You know, I actually do believe that. You’re right. You never tried to pretend you were anything other than a shallow businessman.”
Her words cut like broken glass, more so because she spoke the truth. He had been a shallow businessman. Things had always been just business, not personal with him. At least, they were before he came to Cape Harmony. Before he’d met Kinsley.
She stood there, tears glittering in her eyes, and reached for the doorknob. “But I fell in love with you anyway, Damon,” she whispered hoarsely.
He stilled at the words—her words—confused and fumbling for a response of his own.
She shook her head. “I fell in love with you, because I had hoped that you were more than that. Turns out I was wrong.”
…
Kinsley grabbed another tissue and blew. “Please don’t say I told you so,” she said, her voice wobbly.
Arden shook her head as she poured more wine into each of their glasses. “Wasn’t even on the tip of my tongue. But I will say I’m sorry. As much as I pegged Damon to be a commitment-phobe, I never thought he was capable of being this cold.”
“I can’t believe I fell for that. I fell for him.” Told him that I loved him.
“Don’t beat yourself up. He’s just not the kind of man who’s reliable.”
Precious hopped onto the sofa next to her and laid her head in Kinsley’s lap. Wade hadn’t found any room in the shelter to house the dog, so she was still staying with Kinsley. Not that she minded. She and Precious had a nice routine going, snuggling together at night, watching TV whether Damon was with her or not. Kinsley gave the dog a kiss on her head and nuzzled her face in the dog’s neck.
“The thing is, Damon doesn’t even try,” Kinsley murmured into Precious’s fur. “He automatically expects people to think the worst about him and he acts accordingly. I think it all stems from his brother.”
Arden nodded. “Well, when a tragedy happens in a family and it’s not dealt with properly, I imagine it’s kind of hard to rewire your thinking.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Do you really need to ask?”
Kinsley picked up her wine and downed half the glass. “None of this matters anyway. I’m done with men forever.”
Arden chuckled.
“I’m not joking.” She leaned down and sniffled into the dog’s fur again. “My heart was completely ripped out of my chest today. I’m pretty sure it’s on the floor in Damon’s office somewhere, kicked in the corner, rotting away as we speak. That’s if the cat hasn’t found it and eaten it first.”
Arden made a face. “Okay, now you’re just being morbid.”
She knew she was babbling. Part of it was the wine talking, but nothing made sense to her because it just hurt so much. It hurt to lose the hotel but also that Damon hadn’t allowed himself to get close to her, to trust her. She’d told him she loved him and he’d completely brushed it off. The shocked, unhappy look on his face was a vision that would never leave her alone.
Her doorbell rang, and Arden looked at her expectantly.
Kinsley wiped her eyes. “If it’s Damon, tell him to go away. I don’t want to see him.”
“Got it. Tell him to get lost.” Arden got up and answered the door.
“I’m here to pick up Precious,” she heard her brother announce.
No! Kinsley’s arms tightened around Precious. She’d lost the hotel and Damon. She was not going to lose her dog.
“Now’s not a good time, Wade,” Arden said. “You should have called first.”
“I tried.” Wade walked in and gazed down at Kinsley curled up on the couch with the dog. “Don’t you answer your phone anymore?” he said to her in greeting.
“I never checked.” She had turned off her phone several hours ago after many attempts by Damon to contact her. “By the way, you’re not taking the dog. She’s officially mine now.”
“That’s grea—” Wade frowned, taking a closer look at her face. “Hey, have you been crying?”
“No,” she answered. Tears sprang to the surface and began flowing down her cheeks.
“Aw, Kins,” he said softly, coming over to her and sitting beside her. “What did Arden do?”
“Hey!” Arden said. “It wasn’t me. It was your old empty shell of a college buddy who made her cry.”
“Damon hurt you?” Wade jumped to his feet, anger radiating from him in waves. He looked like Bruce Banner right before he turned green and changed into the Incredible Hulk. “Where is he?”
Kinsley half smiled, appreciating how quickly her brother would go to bat for her. “Relax, Wade. We broke up.”
“You were dating?”
“Oh, boy, on that dramatic note…” Arden grabbed her sweater from off the end of the sofa.
Wade turned and frowned at Arden. “You don’t have to go,” he told her.
She smiled. “That’s sweet, but I think this is my cue to leave. Kinsley, call me if you need me,” she said as she ran out the door.
Wade’s gaze remained trained on the door several beats after Arden had left, almost as he was trying to summon her to return. When she didn’t, he let out a heavy sigh and dropped down beside Kinsley again. “I can’t believe you were actually seeing Damon St. James behind my back.”
“It was not behind your back. Your back just hasn’t been around lately, otherwise I would have told you. None of it matters now anyway because I won’t even have a job to speak of for much longer, either. He made sure of that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The St. James Corpo
ration will no longer control The Harbor Light and the new owners want the hotel closed as soon as possible. We’re to finish out our duties this month in order to receive our compensation packages.”
Wade blew out a harsh breath. “Damn. They certainly aren’t wasting time, are they?”
“No.”
“Was Damon behind the sale?”
She tilted her chin up, wiped her eyes. “I don’t know. He told me he wasn’t. He led me to believe there was a chance I could revive it. He gave me hope.”
And not just with the hotel. Damon had given her hope that something special was going on between them personally, too. She had thought there was a chance for a future together.
“I’m sorry, Kins.”
“I tried so hard. Things would have worked out, too. I know it. I was even going to have a wedding on the schedule. The place was starting to thrive again. I was starting to thrive again. Heal. It was like old times. But now…I feel like a failure, as if I let Mom and Dad down.”
“Don’t think like that. You didn’t let anyone down.”
“Of course I did. I should have been paying more attention instead of relying on Damon’s empty promises. I can’t seem to hold on to anything in my life.”
“You wouldn’t have had this problem if I hadn’t had to sell in the first place. But at the time, Dad was just too much for me.”
She frowned. “Wait. I thought it was too much for you with the hotel and your veterinary practice after Dad passed away. Were things bad before that?”
Her brother sat back. A bemused expression crossed Wade’s face as if he was trying to remember what he’d just said.
“Wade, what did you mean by Dad being too much for you? Because Elena told me she didn’t recall Dad being that sick. Please, don’t tell me you’re hiding something from me, too.”
Wade’s shoulders lowered. Then he sighed deeply. “Dad wasn’t physically sick. But he did have a problem. I think the loneliness of Mom not being around combined with running the hotel got to him. He started hitting the casinos every weekend as an outlet. I didn’t think much of it at first. Until it became a gambling problem.”
“What sort of problem?”
“The kind you get when you’re not a very good gambler. Elena didn’t understand why vendors were coming into the hotel angry when she was assured their checks had been mailed out. But what she didn’t know was that there wasn’t enough money in the account to cover the checks and they were bouncing. The manager had known about Dad’s problem but never said a word to me because she was using the situation to her own benefit, since no one was staying on top of the books. We didn’t find out until later that the hotel credit card was being used for more than just hotel purchases.”
“Oh my gosh, Wade. Is that why there was no equity in the hotel when you sold?”
“Yeah,” he said, his tone sounding defeated. “I had to take money out of the mortgage to cover the gambling debts as well as the hotel debts. It was a hot mess. The stress must have caught up with him. Maybe that triggered his heart attack.”
“I had no idea,” she whispered.
“Well, that was the plan. Dad was embarrassed and didn’t want you to know, and I didn’t want you to find out, either.”
“But why? I’m not a child.”
“I know, but I still wanted to protect you from all that ugliness. I wanted you to hold on to the good memories. I thought in a way, by doing that I was giving you a gift. Toward the end, Dad resented the hotel. He wanted Mom back and felt if they hadn’t spent so much time and energy on The Harbor Light, he’d still have her. I know how much you looked up to Dad and loved the hotel.”
“I only loved the hotel because I thought it had brought our family joy. I wanted to keep it running to hold on to that happiness. I was doing it for them.” She sat back as a realization washed over her. “Maybe that’s been my problem in life all along. I should be doing things for me.”
“I know you wanted to keep the hotel for Mom and Dad’s sake, but you have to admit that part of you was also keeping it for yourself, too.”
Memories lingered on the edge of her mind, and she sighed. “Yeah. I was keeping it for myself. We had a lot of good times in that place, didn’t we?”
“The best times,” Wade said, bumping her shoulder with his.
“I’ll be even more depressed if it becomes a liquidation outlet.”
He nodded. “Yeah, or a casket emporium.”
Kinsley chuckled, then leaned over and kissed her brother on the cheek. “I love you. But you’re a dope. No more secrets between us, okay? From now on we’ll tell each other the truth.”
Her brother cracked a small smile. “Deal. But what are you going to do about a job?”
“I don’t know. The funny thing is when Damon gave me all that freedom to do what I wanted with the hotel, I really enjoyed it. So I think whatever I do next, I want to be my own boss. Maybe I could open up a bed-and-breakfast.”
“You’d do really well with that.” With a grin, he lightly punched her in the arm. “I believe in you.”
She smiled. “I believe in me, too.”
He cleared his throat. “And, uh, what are you going to do about Damon?”
“There’s nothing to do. He was just like Paul. Maybe worse. He doesn’t care for me. I don’t think he can fully care about anyone. And he never had any real confidence in me or my work. He didn’t believe in me like you and Arden. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let this happen.”
Chapter Fifteen
Damon had been back five days, and he still couldn’t seem to get into a rhythm at work. He hated being back. The view of New York City’s financial district held no appeal to him anymore. He actually missed the clean, salty air of Cape Harmony, those apple cider doughnuts at The Drip N Sip that Kinsley would sometimes bring him, and even that fat cat who’d stare him down every day. Most of all he missed Kinsley. Laughing with her. Arguing with her. Kissing her.
He dragged his hand through his hair. He was at his wit’s end. He couldn’t work, couldn’t sleep. He needed to hear her voice. But she wouldn’t answer her phone. When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he texted her, asking her to call him so he could apologize again. She didn’t.
And he didn’t blame her.
Damon had known Alec Dunleavy was behind the sale of the hotel and had gotten the board to go along with him to get rid of the property behind his back. For that reason alone, he could have strangled the man with one hand. Dunleavy had always been out for blood, but this time he’d actually drawn it.
A few light raps on his door sounded before he saw his father walk in.
“Damon, I do have a business to run. Therefore, do you want to explain to me why you haven’t responded to any of my emails from two days ago?” he asked, making himself comfortable on his office sofa.
I’ve been too preoccupied thinking about a woman who hates me.
He knew that excuse wouldn’t go over too well. “I’m still playing catch-up with a few dealings.”
“Would one of them be The Harbor Light Hotel?”
Damon stopped writing and peered at his father. “I assigned someone else to oversee that transaction.”
“Why would you do that? You spent well over a month there. You should know it better than anyone.”
“I have my reasons,” he said irritably.
A short silence followed. “Are they personal reasons? Alec mentioned he saw you with a young woman down there. The acting manager, I believe.”
“It’s not personal.” He cringed as he said the words. The “it’s not personal” line was becoming his mantra. And becoming a lie. But he had to save face with his dad. Not express his feelings. Keep it business only and not personal. Be the good, responsible son for a change.
“Alec also told me the manager was going to have a classic movie night at the hotel,” his dad said with a fond smile. “Remember when we’d watch those old movies on the weekends? Drove your mother nuts.”
Damon gazed at the thoughtful expression on his dad’s face and cracked a smile, too. “I do, Dad. I loved that time with you. I was the one who suggested the idea to her.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. They were…good memories between you and me.”
His father looked touched at his answer. “Yes, they were,” he said quietly, studying his folded hands. “I’m glad to hear that meant so much to you. It meant a lot to me, too.”
After several long moments, his dad looked up. “Damon, you and I may not be as close as we once were, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I can still tell when something—or in this case, someone—is bothering you. You look as if you haven’t seen the sun in days.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
His father narrowed his eyes. “Normally I would agree with you, but this time your work is being affected. I’m thinking it has something to do with that woman.”
He sat back with a sigh. There was no use pretending. His father was right. She was affecting his work—along with his eating and his sleeping. And the fact that his dad even took an interest in how Damon was feeling was a moment he shouldn’t squander. “Her name is Kinsley. In short, I let her down. And now she hates me.”
“Why would you care so much if this woman hates you?”
“I made her a promise I had a feeling I couldn’t fulfill. But I promised her anyway. I told her I’d give her time to change the hotel around and turn a profit. If she did that, I figured I’d have a chance at convincing the board to hold on to the property. I told her I had faith in her.”
“I doubt you would tell someone that if you didn’t truly believe it. Do you have faith in her abilities?”
“Of course.”
His father hesitated. “And do you have feelings for this Kinsley, too?”
Closing his eyes, Damon let his head roll back on his chair. “Ever since Carson died, I have felt a tight band over my chest and heart. It prevents me from feeling. I can barely breathe because of it. I think about that night a lot.”
“Not now, Damon. It’s not the time or place.”
Bargaining with the Boss (Accidentally Yours) Page 17
