After my shower, I grabbed a second coffee and headed out to the balcony to write some emails. I decided on a one-group email. It was short and to the point.
Date: August 2nd, 2018
Subject: My refusal to return to Toronto. ACCEPT IT.
Dear Jason, Mom and Dad,
I kindly ask, that you acknowledge that I will not be returning to Toronto. AGAIN. The sooner you all accept and respect my decision, the sooner we can all move on, to a more peaceful existence. Your behaviors just astound me. The continued texting, and denial—it`s just a nuisance. I have moved on. I have made plans. I am moving onward to better myself, and have zero patience for your incessant attacks, patronizing, and condescending filth you call “communication”.
All the best,
your ex-fiancée and daughter who has broken up with ALL of you
Taking a deep breath, I pressed the “send” button, and off it went to Jason and my parents. Then I blocked all their numbers on both my cell phone and email. I also put a tentative pause on all my social media accounts. This time, I was intent on making sure that they couldn’t reach me.
Sitting with the sun on my face. and listening to the birds chirping, always made me feel better. I gazed out to the street below feeling the warm breeze on my face and tried not to think about JM. I focused on what could potentially be waiting for me in Whistler. In any case, even if I hadn’t heard from Logan by tomorrow, I decided-- I’d just buy myself a plane ticket.
In the distant corner of my mind, I heard a rumble. Imagining that it was a plane taking off to a new destination, I tried hard to get lost in its sound. Yet, I started to feel my heart race and my palms sweat. I had never been nervous about flying so these reactions only confused me.
A deep accented voice jolted me out of my daydream.
“Alexis! Lex! Ouvre la porte!”
I looked down and saw JM standing at the bottom of the stairs, commanding me to open the door.
“Je monte!” he continued, telling me he was coming up.
He shielded the sun from his eyes with his arm flexed as he fought the glare of the sun. His t-shirt seemed glued to his body easily accentuating every perfectly defined ripple. His Adonis-like perfection gleaming below me.
I had completely misread my own physical signs of uneasiness from moments before. That nervous feeling that took over my body whenever he was around. When would I learn to trust my own intuition?
“Je répète Lex. Ouvre la maudite porte!”
“Okay, okay I’m coming!”, I called back to him, running and tripping as I ran inside to buzz him in. My neighbors sure would get nosey if he continued screaming and pounding outside.
My heart raced with thoughts of what he could possibly want to say to me. Frantically I began running my fingers through my still wet hair. My face was bare and makeup free, no bra and I was wearing an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I looked like shit but at least I was clean. Maybe I could fake being sick? Why was he here? My mind was racing. He could have just called or texted me back.
The sound of his palms banging on the door was deafening. He was going to put a hole through the damn door if he continued. Exasperated I opened the door and he practically came falling in. We stood in silence as the minutes slowly ticked by. I could feel the sweat trickling down my back and beneath my shirt. My bare feet shifted on the floor, causing creaks to break the silence. JM’s eyes bore into my soul, those dark, moody, and passion-filled eyes. I began to be aware of the effect he had on me physically. Heat was rising up from somewhere inside my core. Just looking at his stunning physique was making me very aware of the wetness forming between my legs. Be careful…warned my heart. This could end badly.
“Lex…” he was shifting in place. “I don’t know what came over me. Somehow… tu m’rend fou.”, and he put both hands in his hair and pulled it outwards exasperated.
“I make you crazy?” I repeated his words back to him, one eyebrow up, my arms crossed nonchalantly over my chest. Trying desperately to hide my possibly erect nipples that were swelling through the thin fabric of my shirt.
There seemed to be a sort of magnetism in the air. This unseen force was definitely not my imagination. It was ever so slightly pulling and pushing JM and I into each other’s physical space. Soon we were nothing more than a few inches apart. His warm breath, caressing into the side of my neck as he spoke.
“Let’s stop denying each other Lex.”
And with nothing more than that, JM’s hands circled around my back and pulled me in to his embrace. His lips came down hard on mine as his tongue instantly delved deep into my mouth. He tasted of coffee and cigarettes but right now, it was the most delicious taste I could possibly be tasting. He soon began to suck hard on my lower lip as his hands roamed across the curves of my body caressing every part of me with no holds barred. It felt so good to be touched by him as roughly and urgently as he was doing it. My body had been craving his touch despite the recent events, and had been in withdrawal this entire time without it. His touch ignited my skin and every part of me...
I wanted nothing more than to fall right into this moment, but suddenly I was reminded of the hole in my heart and my pain. It took all the strength I had to push back. My lower lip popped out of his mouth, immediately leaving what felt like a slight sting in my mouth. My hands moved up to his chest, I could feel the hard muscles beneath his shirt and wanted to gently touch my way across them, but I forced my mind to take control of my body and I pushed him away.
“JM I can’t do this. I want to…but I can’t. I looked up at him, my eyes filling with tears. “There’s just too many misunderstandings between us. And the assumption you made…none of it was true!”
“I know that now. I…uh…I spoke to Angela.” He nodded sheepishly.
He looked down at me and gently brushed a stray strand of damp hair away from my face. “Alexis, je t’adore. I adore you. That’s why I reacted so badly…it touched a nerve.” He ran his hands through his hair like a nervous tick which was completely mesmerizing to watch.
“I know…”, I faltered. “Ang told me a bit about you too.” I said looking up at him from beneath my lashes. “But that’s exactly why I wanted to explain.”
“I’m sorry but I’m not the kind of guy you need. I’ve done shit. Hurt people I cared about. And I’ve been to a place that I never want to go back to.” He continued before I could. “I know we’re not good for each other but still, something keeps bringing me back to you.”
Before I had a chance to say another word, JM scooped me up in his arms pressing my body to his as he brought me to the couch. His hands slipped beneath my tattered clothing and held fast against my bare skin, making me hyper-conscious of their placement. He wasn’t holding back.
My body was screaming out for his touch. I couldn’t help but let out a whimper as he descended on the couch; his hold on me ever so tight. I curled into his lap despite the growing bulge in his jeans that was nudging into my ass. Our eyes locked together in a stare that felt for the first time-- unbreakable.
“You sure you want to just talk?” he smirked as he listened to my very obviously labored breathing.
“Yes…and no. You have a certain effect on me,” I trailed off.
“And you on me ma belle Alexis.”
“But…” I continued. “You can’t deny we’ve had some issues JM.” I continued, determined to make this happen.
“Je sais…I know.” He whispered softly as he nestled his face into my damp hair. “I’ve been an ass Lex. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I treated you that first night at Angela’s party, for the way I teased you mercilessly for weeks. I’m sorry for not listening to your story before jumping to conclusions about the text the other day.” His eyes searched mine for understanding. “I’m not however, sorry for giving you shit about your driving though. You’re really awful.” He scolded cheekily.
As he spoke, his fingers ran up my arm and across my collarbone, leaving my skin burning with
desire in their wake.
I shrugged nonchalantly, “Well…up yours, about my driving that is…but I’ll take the rest.” I smiled, happy that we were finally communicating.
“Seriously though, I also need to you know where I’m coming from.”
I took a deep breath, he stopped moving and stared at me, showing me he was ready to listen. This wasn’t easy to talk about. I told him about my life in Toronto, my parents and finally about Jason and our recent engagement. As I talked, I became lost in my own story and felt myself curling deeper into him for comfort while I mindlessly traced every beautiful muscle on his chest. Soon my voice began to break and my eyes were brimming with tears.
“I’m sorry.” I managed to croak out. “This is hard. I didn’t even realize how hard. I’ve never really said these things out loud before and they sound so much worse than in my head.” I whispered, my fingers now nervously grasping at his shirt from the stress. I nervously bit my lips.
“Don’t apologize for anything Lex. You’ve been through enough and you need to know that none of it was your fault.” He said as he kissed the top of my head with soft reassuring pecks. Such an odd thing, seeing this hard-edged rocker type man, being so gentle and sweet. Feeling and understanding my confessions and inner most pains.
“Keep going, tell me more about Jason. Where did things go wrong between you two? How did you end up here in Montreal if you were engaged to be married?”
“Well that’s where the story really begins honestly. Shit…” I trailed off again.
“Babe, I want you to know that you can tell me anything. Please I want to know.” JM pressed.
“Okay…” I took a deep breath and dove in to the mess that was my life. I began to give him the details of the past few months. Everything from my engagement night, up to the text that was supposed to be from him the other day.
As I spoke I became lost in thought, and the tears now flowed freely once again. As they did, I could feel JM’s arms holding me tighter, as if he was protecting me from the memories that assaulted my mind almost more intensely than the first time. I was no longer ashamed, showing my vulnerability to him, if this meant he was listening and going to understand me.
“I could kill him…and your mom.” He muttered fiercely under his breath as I spoke. “I could kill them all Lex.” He took his fingers and lifted my chin up so that our eyes were once locked together. “You deserve so much better baby. That bastard definitely doesn`t deserve you. I am so sorry I said he deserved better.” JM’s eyes had clouded over, and I was lost in their obsidian depths. I was almost concerned, because I didn`t know where his mind had gone. I couldn’t read him.
“I too have my demons but I promise that I would never treat you like they did. I treasure you. I never thought I could open myself up again. But you have shown me that what I felt I had lost, I never really had to begin with…because this whole time, I’d been waiting for you.”
I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Tell me more.” I coaxed now giving him my full attention.
“A while back, I thought I had found love. Of course, that was until I found out she was cheating on me with my so-called best friend. It was brutal and honestly after that, I swore off women, relationships, the whole thing for a long time. I kept my focus on my shop, and let go of everything else.” JM was lost in thought, his gaze looking past me.
“So I heard.” I murmured.
Now, it was his turn to smirk. He cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.
“Really…did you?” He seemed surprised.
“Yeah, Ang warned me that you basically had no respect for anyone and were a total asshole who only cared about your work. She said it would never work between us, and that you’d eat me alive.” I admitted.
“Did she now?” The sides of his mouth curving up mischievously as the creases in the corners of his eyes became more pronounced. “Well maybe there’s some truth to that…eating you alive is very appealing…”
His words trailed off as his mouth made contact with the softest part of my neck. He began gently kissing and lazily licking his way across my collar bone and back again while his fingers traced delicately down my breasts and ever so slightly lifted the bottom of my t-shirt. My body’s response to his touch was instant as I arched my back shamelessly wanting more.
Chapter 21
“May I?” His fingers curled around the cotton t-shirt but he paused before raising it up.
My eyes opened. “Huh?” I breathed, slightly confused and taken aback.
“Je peux te toucher Lex?” he asked again softly.
“You don’t have to ask…I think you can see that I want you.” I answered with my eyes darting to my raised nipples suggestively.
“Of course, I can…but I understand more now. You have been disrespected too often princesse…it’s time that you took back that control. You decide when, where and how. And I will always listen to you. Tu m’comprends?”
I felt that familiar lump growing in my throat as he spoke. My animalistic instincts just kicked in-- nodding, I helped him to lift my shirt. He wasted no time bringing it over my head. He sighed, showing approval when he saw my breasts and gave them a full caress, cupping them with his large hands, before he dove in and began sucking on my swollen nipples that were begging for attention. As his mouth covered one nipple he suckled hard while his fingers twirled and squeezed the other. I heard myself cry out in some strange combination of pleasure and pain. I moaned and ran my fingers into his hair signaling him with my aggressive tugs and pulls as he seduced my senses.
His fingers skillfully travelling down, into my shorts, and soon found the slick folds of my wetness begging for foreplay. Gently grazing and teasing me across the outer lips, moisture seeped out and he reacted with grunting as he greedily took advantage of playing with my clit. Coating my juices on it, swirling his fingers in and out of my pussy and pulsing my clit in just the right pressure alternately. He knew what he was doing. I shifted and moaned louder and felt like I was already going to come. Could it be? This soon? What was he doing to me? I began grinding on his motion and ripped off his shirt in the process of getting lost in what was about to happen.
“I am so ready…” I moaned out panting and working aggressively to loosen his belt.
“Une vraie petite salope, hein?” he smirked as I looked away. His words of shame exciting me even further. “You are ready for me, your pussy is SO wet- it’s dripping babe…”
“So ready…JM, I’m…going to…”
“Not yet naughty girl.”, he commanded.
JM flipped me over with no warning; my aching nipples grazing the rough canvas of the couch as he pulled me across his lap face down in a pillow. His magical fingers suddenly gone from my pulsing clit.
He pulled my shorts down to expose my asscheeks. The cool air sent goosebumps on my skin, making me shiver.
“Ohhhh Lex…. you are so beautiful…the things I would like to do to this ass right now.” He said as he ran his hot firm hand over my bare ass; and massaged the cheeks gently squeezing them in his strong hands. He slipped a finger between the crack and slowly traced the inner part making me unconsciously lift my ass up for him.
“What do you mean?” I asked shyly, looking over my shoulder gently pumping my pelvis on his hard dick beneath me still trapped in his tight-ass jeans. I was shamelessly pulsing tiny motions. I couldn’t help it. I was mindlessly gyrating, slowly. He was doing things to me…I felt my ass jiggling with each movement.
“It’s too early baby… but later, later when you’re ready…I’m going to own this fuckin’ ass of yours. You have me so fucking hard.” He said playfully slapping my bare bum. That little slap made me jump in surprise and strangely, with desire…. a little sting that made me burn with need. I squirmed in his lap and wanted more.
“What if I was ready now?” I purred.
OMG what was I saying? I needed to shut up, this was not me. I had never been so blatantly wanton and v
ocal about my needs. But this man…this man was unlike anyone I’d ever known. He made me want to go to places I’d never been before. Not even in my fantasies.
“Tu penses que t’es prête? ” He grinned…. “Well, if you think you’re ready, then maybe we should check princesse.”
“Check?” I breathed out. Before I knew it, his fingers were caressing the outer lips of my swollen pussy, as I uncontrollably pushed my ass up into his hand practically begging for penetration.
“Shit, you’re soooo wet Lex…guess that little slap on the butt opened the tap.” He laughed. “Did you like it?” He asked massaging the same spot again driving me insane with lust and desire.
I nodded unable to speak and slapped the cushion in front of me pushing my ass up even more for him.
“You need to talk Lex. I need to know…”
“YES.” I belted out, my face buried in the pillow.
“Good.” He breathed. “Because I would love to seriously spank this beautiful ass of yours… hard. Can you handle that?” his fingers swirled circles around my wet lips, all while teasing my asshole with my own juices. FUCK… He was twirling and pulsing my hole barely trying to penetrate it with his finger. He then sync’d his fingers so he was pumping his fingers in my pussy, and barely, just barely penetrating my asshole. I turned my head once more and our eyes locked, I was panting and moaning. How can he stand it?! How was he not fucking me already? This was foreplay? What the fuck had I had before?
“Lex…I told you before. I’m a rough lover but I will never hurt you. Trust me and I will always protect you. But the things I’d like to do to you…I want to turn this pretty little ass pink before I make you come… over and over again...”
Inked Love: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 11
