“She’s had her share of pain.” Walker was quiet for a long time. “Thank you for doing this, Jilly. We’ll work out the details. We’ll keep everything simple. I was thinking about coming to visit you in Oregon anyway. What do you think of the idea?”
“I’d like that.” Jilly found it hard to imagine that she would be going home in a few days. How had her life changed so much so fast?
Yet one thing continued to bother her. “Walker, this morning you said something about your family. You mentioned that things were rocky between you. It’s none of my business, but I have to say this, just once. I don’t have a family. I’ll probably never know who my mother is and I’ll never know why she gave me up the way she did. But I’m good with that. The point is, you do have a family. You’ve got people who know you the way no one else does. So my advice? Ignore the shouting and the snide comments. Do whatever it takes to make it right. Because you only get one family.” Jilly took a deep breath and smiled. “There, I said it. Just my two cents’ worth.” She stopped, suddenly embarrassed.
Walker nodded slowly. “I’ll remember that. It’s good advice. On the other hand,” he continued dryly, “you’ve never met my family.”
When he yawned, Jilly pointed toward the bedroom. “Off to bed with you. The bride has work to do.” She looked down and smiled at Winslow. “Don’t ask me what it is. Winslow and I have to have some secrets, don’t we?”
* * *
SHE WAITED UNTIL WALKER was asleep before pulling out the bag with her knitting.
The textured wool bandanna she’d decided to make to match the blanket was nearly done. The cables were complete and the panels continued in a line from one corner to the other. “Come over here, Winslow. Let’s see if this thing fits as well as your other bandanna.” The dog sat restlessly as Jilly tied the wool in place at his neck.
It was a perfect fit. The color was ideal for him.
Jilly sighed. “Nobody is going to look at me. You’ll be the real star of the show, Winslow.”
Winslow pranced in a happy circle, showing off his new accessory. When the quickly tied knot came free, Jilly leaned over and grabbed the bandanna.
A sharp pressure burned through the center of her chest. The room seemed to sway.
She sat back slowly, fighting a wave of dizziness.
Not again. Not now.
Winslow bumped against her leg and began to whine. Blinking hard, Jilly leaned against the excited dog, dragging in air. Long minutes passed. Slowly the dizziness faded, and she began to feel a little better.
But it would be unforgivably stupid to ignore the episode.
Jilly pulled on her coat, one eye on the bedroom door where Walker was sleeping. Quietly she reached for her cell phone. Then she opened the door to the patio, walking through the snow to the little rise near the fence. At this distance Walker wouldn’t hear her talking.
As Winslow shot up the hill, Jilly looked up the number of her doctor back in Arizona.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“HAS ANYONE SEEN JILLY?”
Walker scanned the group of people in the meeting room at the resort, but his bride-to-be seemed to have vanished.
She had been looking a little queasy earlier, and Walker knew exactly how she felt. Fake or not, a wedding was a big, elaborate undertaking. Right now all he wanted to do was head back to the cabin and sleep for three days.
His short rest had helped. But when he awoke, Jilly was gone. Walker had checked the cabin and then gone up to the main lodge, hoping to find her. He had found Winslow, but so far he’d had no luck with Jilly.
After the screwups on the mission he’d just returned from, it was hard to find energy to be optimistic about anything. He had felt helpless watching the cascade of failure from the hostage standoff. Their rescue effort had been doomed from the start, thanks to bad intel from Afghanistan and allies who had wavered under attack. An outpost that was supposed to be a rural hospital turned out to be a well camouflaged weapons cache.
As more field reports came back, while Walker was still en route, the news had gone from bad to terrible.
Five men had died. Two more wounded.
Walker’s fists clenched. He had offered three rescue scenarios involving snipers and trained dogs, but there was only so much he could do. He had to remember that.
He slipped out of the noisy room, still searching for Jilly. Where had she gone?
He felt Winslow press against his leg, whining softly. As usual, the dog was a tuning fork, picking up the emotions of those he loved. The big dog bounded up the path in front of him, and then turned back expectantly.
“We’re going to make it through this just fine, Win. After all, a wedding is just another kind of field mission, right?”
Winslow kept whining. He nipped the bottom of Walker’s jeans and tugged him firmly up the hill.
It was a clear command.
“Who’s giving the orders here?” Walker muttered. But he followed the big dog up the hill, past women with knitting needles who waved at him in excitement. It seemed like everybody in town knew about this wedding, he thought grimly. One of the dangers of living in a small town.
Winslow shot up the slope toward Jilly’s room. Was she inside? Walker stopped at her door, frowning when he heard the muffled sound of her voice inside. He couldn’t pick up the words, only what sounded like anxious questions. He knocked twice, trying to calm Winslow, who was scratching hard at the door.
“It’s Walker, Jilly. Is everything okay?”
He heard what sounded like a chair falling over. Alarmed when she didn’t answer, he grabbed the doorknob and shoved hard. The unlocked door burst open.
Jilly was in the middle of the room, looking pale, her cell phone gripped at her chest. Walker saw the guarded look in her eyes.
“I thought you’d gone out.”
She didn’t answer, her body rigid.
“What’s going on, Jilly?”
“I—I’d like to be alone.”
The cold distance in her voice was unmistakable. Walker saw she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Why?”
“Does it matter?” She turned, her arms tight at her chest. “Look, would you just go? I—I haven’t had a moment to myself since this stupid wedding business began. I need a little space.”
“Space.” Walker crossed the room, seeing the way her hands trembled. Seeing the way color washed over her pale cheeks. “And that’s why you’re standing here, glaring at me. Because you want to be alone?”
“That’s right.” Her voice was firm, her shoulders stiff. But she was lying.
Fighting irritation, Walker tossed his coat on a chair. “Nothing else you want to tell me?”
“No.” She spun around, one hand on the counter, the phone pressed against her chest. “Now would you please leave?”
He took a deep breath, fighting the anger—and the fear that kicked him hard. “Like hell I will. Not until I get some answers. What’s going on here, Jilly? And don’t tell me it’s about space, because that’s the most miserable lie I’ve ever heard.”
“Go away.”
Angry, Walker caught her shoulders. “Stop hiding.” His fingers tightened. “I thought we had something, Jilly. I was willing to give it time. But there has to be trust, damn it.”
She shoved at his hands and made a little broken sound. “Oh, go away. Please.”
“Not until you talk to me.” He shook his head, pulling her against his chest. “Something’s happened. Why didn’t you come and tell me?”
“N-nothing’s happened.”
“No? Then why are you white?”
“Okay, I got dizzy. I felt nauseous—”
“Sit down.” Walker felt anger plunge into panic. “Now.” He guided her to a chair and sank to his knee beside her. “You didn’t black out or anything.”
“No. Nothing like that.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her face. “I—it passed, Walker. I had a bad moment, but it passed.”
“When were you going to tell
me? Next week? Or never?”
She reached out blindly and gripped his hand. “I don’t know. Nothing makes sense right now. I just want my dignity back. I want to feel whole again. I want things the way they used to be. But I’ll never have that, will I?” The catch in her throat broke Walker’s heart, but he knew she would never want pity.
“I wish I could help you, but you have doctors for that. You called them, right?”
Jilly ran a hand through her hair. “Of course. They told me to rest and call them immediately if the symptoms returned.”
Some of Walker’s panic ebbed. “Okay. That’s a plan.”
“Look…I’m sorry. I should have told you. I guess I’m not used to asking for help.”
Walker sensed that this was a big admission for her. It soothed some of his anger at being cut out of something that could have been life-threatening. “Then start asking, Jilly. If you can’t open up to me, then there’s nothing and no point. You might as well walk out that door and go back to Oregon right now. Is that what you want?”
He was pushing her because he had to. He had to know if she would leave without a backward glance. If so, better for them both to find out now.
She looked down at their entwined fingers. “No. It’s the last thing I want,” she whispered. “But it’s never been like this for me before, Walker. I’ve never trusted or wanted enough to let a man this close. I’m…frightened.”
He slid his arms around her and whispered her name in exasperation. “I’m frightened, too. I want this to work out, Jilly. So let’s take it one step at a time and stop screwing it up.” Walker frowned. “I’m sorry if I was rough on you.”
“Don’t apologize. You had a right to be.”
“I’m not so sure about that. And frankly, I’d rather you rip into me,” Walker said grimly. “I deserve it.” He tilted her face up to meet his. “How do you feel now? Are you still sick?”
“Just tired. The dizziness has gone.”
“But you were scared.” Walker saw the weariness in her slumped shoulders. “I want the truth, Jilly.”
“Yes. Scared out of my mind.” She managed a faint smile. “But it passed.”
“Next time come and find me. Tell me so I can help you.” It was an order, not a suggestion.
Jilly blew out a breath and nodded. “I will.”
“Okay. Now we have that settled.” Walker sat down and pulled her onto his lap. His fingers moved over her wrist.
“You’re taking my pulse, aren’t you?” She frowned. “Is it high?”
“You’re within normal range. That’s a good sign.”
When she moved restlessly on his lap, Walker fought down a vicious kick of lust. Angry at himself for rotten timing, he stood up, lifting her in his arms. “You need to rest. I’ll sleep out here. I was going to drive back to the cabin, but now I’m staying.”
Jilly didn’t argue. There were dark shadows beneath her eyes as she nodded. Walker shook his head and carried her to the bed, muttering with every step.
“You don’t have to carry me.”
“The hell I don’t. And if I don’t like how you look in five minutes, I’m hauling you straight off to the emergency room. Now stop arguing.” He set her down gently on the bed. “I’ll call Mamie and tell her to cancel whatever she planned next for today. I’ll be on the couch if you need me. And I warn you, I’ll be checking on you. If I see something I don’t like, we’re out of here.”
She frowned at him. “I’m not good at taking orders.”
“Tell me about it,” Walker snapped. The exhaustion was catching up with him. So was his uneasiness about Jilly. If he saw the first sign of any problem, he was taking her to the hospital.
He spread a blanket across the bed. “Go to sleep.”
Jilly took a deep breath. “What about you? That couch isn’t very comfortable.”
“A lot better than other places I’ve slept.”
Jilly cleared her throat. “We could…share the bed.”
Walker forced down a hot wave of desire at the thought of Jilly’s slim body pressed against his. He managed a crooked smile. “That’s a nice offer, but with Winslow, there would be three of us. And you know Winslow would be part of the deal.”
He was relieved to see her smile. More color came into her face. She finished the water bottle he handed her and then lay back on the pillow. “He does take up a lot of room, that dog of yours. But I don’t mind.” She yawned. “Sorry, Walker. I—I can’t seem to keep my eyes open. There are fresh sheets and a pillow in the little closet. If you want me to make the bed—”
“You’re staying right where you are, Iron Chef. I can wrangle a few sheets without your help.” He glanced at Winslow, standing uneasily next to the bed. “Come on, big guy. She’s fine. And don’t think you’re going to sleep on the bed, because you’re not. We’re bunking on the couch.”
“Night.” Jilly snuggled into her pillow, muttering something that Walker couldn’t hear, and then her eyes closed.
* * *
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT way, of course.
Ten minutes later Winslow was stretched across Jilly’s bed while she slept. All Walker’s gestures and gentle pushing seemed to have no effect. The dog simply wasn’t moving. His big dark eyes studied Walker’s face, radiating loyalty, protectiveness and sheer, uncomplicated joy.
The dog’s head rested on Jilly’s shoulder, only inches from the curve of her breast.
Smart dog, Walker thought. Since Jilly had come into their life, Winslow had become more active. He had always been sociable, but now more than ever.
He also showed fewer signs of pain at night. He didn’t wake up as often, prowling restlessly as if expecting danger.
Then Walker frowned.
What would happen to Winslow when Jilly went back to Oregon? The dog had become so closely attached to her in such a short time. But Walker knew she would have to go home before long. She had a life waiting for her back in Oregon. She had friends and work and plans to make. How could he convince her to stay here?
When she left, where was that going to leave Winslow?
And where was it going to leave him?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
JILLY FELT SOMETHING warm touch her neck. She gave a little sigh, stretching in her sleep. One hand reached out. In her dreams, she combed her fingers through Walker’s hair and traced the hard angle of his jaw.
She gave a sharp gasp when a warm tongue licked her cheek.
Her eyes flashed opened. Winslow was draped over the bed, eyes glinting with happiness, tail wagging.
Jilly was sorry it hadn’t been Winslow’s silent, strong owner stretched out beside her on the bed. She didn’t take orders from anyone, but when Walker had taken charge and ordered her to go rest, Jilly had found herself complying. He had been right to be angry at her for holding back the truth. Jilly was relieved that he knew the truth. She had seen that his anger came from his worry, so she let him take charge. In the process she discovered it could be surprisingly comforting to let a strong man take care of you.
Just once or twice.
She wouldn’t make a habit of it, of course. Life had tossed Jilly around enough to teach her that you couldn’t ever rely on anyone else. So she wouldn’t get too comfortable accepting Walker’s help, because it wouldn’t last.
Bare feet scuffed over cool tile floor in the neighboring room. She looked up and saw Walker, delicious enough to eat, his long frame poured into worn blue jeans—and nothing else. His muscled chest left Jilly giddy.
Down, girl. A rapid pulse is bad for your health, remember?
“You’re up.” He leaned against the doorway, studying her appreciatively. That slow, thorough look was another thing Jilly decided she could get dangerously accustomed to.
“Everything hit me at once. I felt dizzy with exhaustion. I think that triggered…whatever happened.” She ran a hand through her hair. “But I’m a little worried about this dressed-up stuff. I warn you, it is just not my thing. My
friends could tell you stories.”
“So you never did the whole prom night extravaganza? No stretch limousine and four-inch heels?” Walker nodded slowly and smiled. “No, I’d say you and your friends boycotted the prom. You held an alternative prom of your own. You went to the beach and roasted hot dogs.”
He was channeling her secrets again, Jilly thought wryly. How did he keep doing that? “Not the beach. We climbed the hill above my friend’s house. At sunset we pitched a little tent, took out our favorite books and a lot of chocolate, along with our flashlights and sleeping bags. I guarantee you we had a whole lot more fun than the unfortunates down at the high school.”
“I wish I could have seen that.”
Jilly wished that he had been there, too. If she had had someone like Walker in her life back then…but you couldn’t go back. And there was no point in brooding about what might have been.
“It was a good night. In fact, we’re going to do it again one of these days—sleeping bags and flashlights. Chocolate and all our favorite books. We’re going to camp out and stay up until dawn comes streaking over the cove, just like we did in high school. Everybody should camp out once in a while, don’t you think?”
Walker didn’t answer, his eyes unreadable.
“Something wrong?”
“Just the opposite. I was thinking that you and your friends must be pretty amazing when you get together. I know I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”
“Darned right. But you may get to meet them one of these days. If so, don’t bring up this wedding, even though it’s a sham. They’ll have my hide. Yours, too.”
“Warning noted.” Walker turned around as the couch creaked. Winslow whined from the far end. “The big guy wants company. I just got up for some water. Want some?”
Jilly stretched slowly. “I’ll get it. I’ve been lazy long enough. Hard to believe that I slept for two whole hours.” She swept back the covers but took her time standing up, relieved when her dizziness did not return.
The Accidental Bride Page 19
