“What happened?” Kai’s stomach flipped. He could count on one hand the number of times Spike had sounded this way. “Tell me.”
“Micah broke up with us,” Spike said. “It’s my fault. I—I was kissing him and then Hastings stepped in and he just—he fired Micah, Kai. Gods. I don’t know what to do.”
Kai froze, the noise around them fading to nothing. “He... Hastings fired him.” That’s my bio dad. He fired Micah. “Why?”
“Because he caught us kissing.” Spike gave a low keen of frustration. “And I had my assignments on the desk. I was fighting with Micah and I threw them on the desk to tell him I didn’t need his help. Then I kissed him and—fuck. Gods. He wants us to move out. My heart hurts, Kai. I’m sorry.”
Kai ran his fingers through his hair, his pulse thudding. All this at once—it was too much to take in. “He broke up with us? Because he lost his job?”
“Because I lost him his job, yeah.” Spike’s voice broke. “I don’t know how to get it back.”
“But the law—”
“It wasn’t just the relationship. Apparently Micah slept with Hastings for the job.”
Jealousy rumbled through Kai’s chest. “He’s been a professor for years. That happened in the past.”
“Yeah, I know. I just...” Spike sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out. “He broke up with us. I thought... I thought we’d have him forever.”
After years of pining for the professor, after being with him for a blissful six months... This had to have hit Spike hard. Micah, too, with the way he’d craved attention. They were both hurting so much, and Kai was two whole states away, unable to comfort them.
“He’s pregnant,” Kai said, slipping out through the arena door for some fresh air.
“I fucking know.” Spike growled, a twisted snarl that made Kai’s heart ache.
Kai closed his eyes, itching to reach across the line and grab Spike’s nape. So he could hold his brother, and comfort him somehow. “Think you can convince him to get back together?”
“No. He’s gonna get York to throw our things out if we don’t move.”
“Fuck.” Kai wracked his mind. “Rent the apartment next door. It’s empty, isn’t it?”
“But he’s just gonna hate me if he sees my face any more.” Spike’s breath trembled, like he was trying not to cry. Fuck. “Please come back. I need you. Micah needs you, too.”
“I can’t.” Kai’s heart thumped. He wanted to hold Spike again. Wanted to breathe in Spike’s scent, and mark him. Except Spike really belonged with Micah, and Micah was too upset to see it right now. “I’ll call Micah and convince him to give you a chance. I can spot him some cash, too.”
“But what about you?” Spike sucked in a shaky breath. “I lost you your omega, Kai.”
“He isn’t mine,” Kai said.
Just like he expected, Spike snapped, “He’s fucking yours. What do you mean, he isn’t?”
Kai swallowed. He needed to tell Spike. So Spike could go ahead and make up with Micah, instead of waiting for Kai. “I’m stepping out of the relationship. You were doing good with him.”
Spike was silent for a second; Kai could almost hear Spike’s heart break. Kai hated himself for it.
“Fuck you, Kai. You love him. You can’t abandon him. You can’t abandon me.”
Kai looked at the sidewalk, struggling to breathe. When he’d thought about leaving, it hadn’t seemed quite as permanent as saying it aloud to Spike. “He needs you more. Get him back.”
“He needs you, too.”
“He’ll need the money more than needs me,” Kai heard himself saying. “I’m the only one who actually has a job right now.”
Spike fell into a grudging silence. “What if that’s your baby he’s carrying?”
“I’m paying for it either way. Micah needs someone with him. Go back. He’ll take you in.”
“That’s it? And—and you’re breaking up with me, too?” Spike’s voice cracked.
Kai’s instincts screamed at him to drop everything and go home. Hold Spike. Hold Micah. Shove them back together. Except it would be easier if he wasn’t involved, if they just got back together without him. Then they could have the baby they were so excited about, and Kai could stay on the sidelines, giving them money.
Fuck, that hurt.
“Yeah,” Kai said. It wasn’t like he’d be a good boyfriend, anyway. He hadn’t been around them for nearly three months. “I have games lined up. Can’t leave at-will or they’ll fire me.”
“You’re a damn coward,” Spike growled. “I never realized you were one.”
Kai closed his eyes, his throat too tight to swallow. “I’m just doing what I think is best for all of us.”
“No, you aren’t. If you loved us that much, you’d be here.”
Kai thought about the house for Spike, the rings he’d thought fleetingly about ordering. He thought about their shared bank account, now with nine grand in it. The sort of thing a good alpha should provide. He couldn’t give them more of that if he moved back right now.
Hell, he should be focusing on his career. He wasn’t going to end up like his father was.
“Sorry,” Kai said, the words bitter on his tongue. “I can’t come home.”
“I hate you.” Spike’s voice was quiet, barely audible.
Then Spike hung up, and his words echoed in Kai’s mind, wedging themselves into the deepening crack of Kai’s heart.
Spike had never, through the years they’d been together, ever said those words to Kai. Spike had meant what he’d said. And that pierced through Kai’s chest like nothing else did.
I fucked up. Or maybe it had been a long time coming, and Kai just hadn’t seen it until it was too late.
34
Micah
“You shouldn’t have done that,” York said from across the kitchen table.
Micah looked up slowly from his cereal, his eyes burning. For a week, now, he hadn’t been sleeping well. The bed in his own room had smelled strange and unused. The apartment was far too empty, too quiet. Every time he turned, he expected to see Spike stepping through the doorway, a grin on his face. He expected to feel Kai’s arms wrapping around him, Kai rumbling as he sniffed at Micah’s hair.
The only comfort Micah had, was that Spike was with Kai now, that they were both happy together. Except there had been no word on either of their Facebook accounts—had they blocked him? They’d moved in together somewhere, right?
“Done what?” Micah asked tiredly, his heart sore.
“Left them.”
It was the last thing he expected his son to say. Micah breathed out the ache in his chest, meeting York’s eyes. “You can’t be serious.”
York finished his cereal, then spooned some from Micah’s bowl. “Yeah, I am. You look like shit right now.”
Micah flinched.
“I didn’t mean your actual looks.” York clicked his tongue. “I mean you seemed a lot better when they were around. As much as I hated overhearing all your sex sounds.”
Micah sighed, scrubbing his face. “It’s fine. I’ll get over it.”
“Will you really?” York leaned forward, pinning Micah with his stare. “I’d never seen you that happy in years.”
“I’ve lost my job, York. I don’t feel like talking about anything right now.” Micah stood, hauling his half-finished cereal to the sink. York followed him and exchanged their bowls, scarfing down the remnants of Micah’s breakfast.
Micah had applied to a number of companies since last week. He’d sent out resumes to various businesses in town, and a few colleges in California and the surrounding states. He’d figured that York would remain in Meadowfall to complete his degree, and then maybe he might end up finding an omega, and he wouldn’t need Micah anymore.
“I haven’t heard much from Kai or Spike,” York said. “Kai usually posts his team scores, and Spike was doing those food pics before you guys broke up.”
Micah winced. “I don’t need to know.”
Y
ork looked pointedly at him. “Then you don’t need to know about last Wednesday, when Kai...”
Micah held his tongue. What had happened to Kai? Had Spike been with him? As the possibilities unraveled in his mind, he tried to keep his mouth shut. Except curiosity and worry gnawed through his insides. How had he not heard about it? “When Kai what, York?”
York cracked a tiny smile. “When Kai texted me to say he’s been on the team for three months, and he went out to dinner with them.”
Micah leaned against the counter, his chest heavy. He should be happy that Kai and Spike were moving on. “Oh.”
“As much as it’s damn weird to see you with them, you guys should get back together, you know,” York said. “Spike’s been asking about you.”
Micah’s heart skipped. “Why are you even telling me this? A couple months ago, you were furious that I was seeing them.”
“Because you lied to me.” A brief frown furrowed York’s forehead. Then he kissed Micah on the cheek. “But you’re still my dad. And they made you happy. I’ve forgiven you.”
Micah’s throat grew tight. Relief broke through his chest—not quite enough to ease the pain, but enough that he leaned against York, sucking in a shaky breath. For months, he’d been in limbo with York, not knowing if his son truly accepted him, and his relationship with Kai and Spike.
Now, though... it was a little too late for that. “Somehow, it feels like you’re everything I have left.”
York looked pointedly at Micah’s belly. “You could always call them and ask them to come back.”
Micah touched his belly, his baby kicking against his palm. “You should be complaining to me about your new sibling, not telling me to get back together with Kai and Spike.”
“I’m not letting you be a single dad,” York said, setting his cereal bowl in the sink. “Although if I help you raise my brother or sister, does that still mean you’re a single dad?”
For the first time in days, Micah laughed. “Will you, really?”
“Yes.” York looked indignantly at him.
“You should be raising your own family.”
York glanced at Micah’s round belly. “That’s family, too.”
Micah smiled a little wider, leaning into York’s side. York pulled him into a hug. It was comforting, leaning into York’s chest. But it wasn’t right, not in the way Kai and Spike had been.
Refusing to think any more about his mistakes, Micah rinsed off the dishes. He changed into some presentable clothes, then got ready to head out. “I’m dropping by the college for a bit. Some papers to sign off. Do you need a lift?”
“Nah.”
Micah slipped out of the apartment, and into the car. The college was a short drive away, all low-rise buildings and sprawling parking lots around the campus.
He almost expected to see Spike there, except he bumped into his ex-coworker, June Kindling, in the parking lot.
“Micah,” June said with some surprise. “I missed you when you were leaving last week.”
Micah flushed, looking away. “I wasn’t staying around for long, no.” Right now, he felt like a stranger in this too-familiar place. It felt like anyone could recognize him, and call him out on the shameful things he’d done.
June pulled him under the shade of a tree, glancing around. Then she met Micah’s eyes. “I heard that you were involved with a student.”
Micah’s heart squeezed. “I was.” At June’s sympathetic look, Micah felt brave enough to admit, “Two of them, actually.”
June’s eyebrows crawled up. She had gray eyes and short hair, and she smelled like birch. A couple years back, she’d become a tenured professor. Micah had hit tenure, too, but it hadn’t guaranteed him a job like he’d hoped it would.
“Bernard let you go because of the students?” June asked suspiciously.
Micah sighed. “Mainly that, I believe.”
June clucked her tongue. “That’s against the new law.”
“He had other reasons.” And now Micah flushed harder. It was one thing to admit to your alphas that you’d slept around for your job. It was a completely different thing to admit that to your ex-coworker. But what did it matter, now that he didn’t have the job anymore? “One of my alphas was Bernard’s illegitimate son. And Bernard... allowed me to be a professor under special circumstances. But that was twenty years ago.”
“And no longer relevant.” June narrowed her eyes. “You do a good job with your teaching.”
Micah’s cheeks grew warm. It wasn’t often that he received compliments about his teaching, especially from a coworker. “That doesn’t matter anymore, though.”
“Yeah, that’s the part I’m pissed about. Bernard’s been letting talent go, because he can’t see out his ass.”
Micah managed a smile. “I’ve been looking around for a job. There’s a couple of openings around California.”
“You’re leaving Meadowfall? What about your alphas?” June sniffed at Micah. There was just the barest hint of juniper left on him.
Micah shrugged uncomfortably. “I’ve broken up with them.”
At that, June sighed. Was she exasperated? “Gods, not you, too.” When Micah looked at her in confusion, June glanced at Micah’s belly. “You remember Dale Kinney, right? And Ian McMillan?”
The two omegas whom June had worked for, before they’d been let go and June had taken over their lab.
“They were dating their students, too,” Micah said.
“Yeah. They had their ups and downs, but in the end, they decided that they wanted their alphas more than they wanted their jobs here.”
“So you’re saying...”
June looked him in the eye. “Are you sure that breaking up is the right solution?”
“I’m not sure there is another solution.” Micah scrubbed his face. “They just turned twenty, June. I can’t possibly put my needs above theirs.”
June winced. “Okay, that’s a little young.”
Micah’s face burned. If June was going to judge him, too... Then he might as well get going. “I should—”
June grabbed his arm before he turned away. “Your alphas are still adults, though,” she said, lifting an eyebrow. “And none of this erases the fact that Bernard fired you because of discrimination.”
Micah’s heart sank further. “I’m not sure what I can do about it.”
“Well, I am.” June tugged Micah toward the department building, where Harold was waiting to judge Micah all over again. “Let’s go to my lab. We’ll get this sorted out.”
35
Spike
Spike listened as the voices in the next apartment fell silent. A door opened and closed. Footsteps hobbled down the common hallway to the elevator lobby. Then, silence.
Holding his breath, Spike grabbed his keys and wallet, cracking open his front door. He poked his head out.
On the other end of the corridor, Micah limped into the elevator, and the doors rumbled shut.
Spike slipped out of his apartment, locking the door. Part of him felt like a creep for following. The other part said, I’m not going to harm him. I’m just making sure that no one follows him home or attacks him.
He jogged down the stairwell, then slipped out through the ground-level door half a minute later, watching as Micah’s familiar car pulled out of the parking lot.
This late at night, Micah only headed out when he needed groceries. So Spike hopped into his car and followed his omega, pulling into the grocery store parking lot. Micah stepped out of his car, grabbed a reusable bag, and hobbled to the brightly-lit store.
Under the streetlamps, Micah’s frame was slight, his hair damp from a shower, his round belly distinct beneath his light-colored clothes. He looked lonely. There was a slowness to his footsteps, like he wasn’t happy about going to the store. Or was he... unhappy that Kai and Spike weren’t around?
The glass on the driver’s side window fogged up. Spike pulled himself back, unsure when he’d leaned that close to the window, breat
hing on it like a lonely mutt. Then he watched as Micah bypassed the shopping carts and headed into the store, gold fluorescent lights surrounding him like a halo. Still beautiful, even from so far away.
Spike’s heart hurt. It had been two weeks since the breakup. Micah’s belly had grown bigger, but even with his baby arriving, he still needed cheering up.
Why won’t you let me make you happy? Spike swallowed, tempted to follow his omega into the store. Just to brush by him, just to smell Micah’s scent again. Just to see that beautiful face, those sea-blue eyes, and the way Micah smiled at the cashier. Gods, I’m pathetic.
And still Spike sat, glued to the window, waiting for Micah to step outside.
After months of tangling with Micah Davis, after months of learning every inch of Micah’s body, seeing his smiles, making him laugh, being away from him hurt Spike to the bone. He still remembered that day in the office. Micah paling when Bernard fired him. Micah’s horror when Spike learned that Micah had exchanged favors to become a professor.
More than anything, Spike wanted to convince Micah to let him return. But the scars... Micah was right about them. Through that fire, Spike had caused Micah years of hurt, and he didn’t know how he could solve any of it.
So Spike watched, his splintered heart aching anew, his forehead pressed against the window. Then he thought of Kai, and anger welled up in his chest. Kai had ditched him and Micah. Kai would rather hang out with his basketball team. Spike had known that Kai would leave, he’d known that Kai didn’t love him enough to stay, but hearing it, having Kai refuse to return...
He wanted to punch Kai. And then he wanted to kiss Kai and drag him home, and Spike knew he was so twisted that they were probably better off without him, anyway.
I can’t keep living like this. It hurts so much. He pressed his palm against his chest, needing to claw out the pain. Needing to just... hear Kai again. Needing to smell his brother, burrow against him. Spike didn’t feel so strong these days. Kai had left, and it felt as though the wind had disappeared from Spike’s sails.
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