by L P Peace
Bedvir let out a breath of relief. ‘We do not want hands. If we trade, it will be for useful things.’
Danielle almost doubled over, her breath exploding out of her at the look on his face, the tone of his voice, which had grown rougher and more laboured with every word. She stood up and leaned against him before she fell. His arms went around her, one under her arm and around her back, the other to her shoulders, and he pulled her closer. Suddenly, the air was thick with expectation.
Bedvir stared down at her, his hand travelling from her shoulder, over her neck and to her face. His thumb caressed her cheek, his eyes tracking the movement before his thumb found her lip. He bent, his lips brushing over hers in the lightest touch, sending shivers through her body before he withdrew. ‘I don’t agree with what Aerdan did,’ he said quietly. ‘But we’re united in our intention.’
‘What intention?’ she asked, her mind fuzzy and untethered after the kiss.
‘Our intention to keep you here,’ Bedvir said. ‘With your family.’
Danielle swallowed past the sudden thickness and emotion in her throat. Family had never been particularly good to her, yet still she craved it.
‘Haddis and I are happy to wait until you’re ready,’ he said. ‘We’ll keep Aerdan in check until then.’
‘Until when?’ she asked, feeling the mass of conflict within her. She wanted to move away, yet she wanted to remain in his arms. She wanted to hear his words, but she didn’t want the weight they would inevitably push onto her. The pressure. All she could do was lean against him, feeling unbalanced over a ledge which led to a place she wasn’t ready to go.
‘Until you’re ready to accept all three of us.’ Again, Bedvir kissed her. This time, it was long and deep. His lips moved expertly over hers, his tongue caressing her lips, but never going beyond.
Terror mixed with arousal to send conflicting messages through her. Run away? Or lean into the kiss? Push him back? Or meet his tongue with hers? Unable to make a choice, Danielle stayed in his arms, kissing him back as her whole body began to shake.
Bedvir broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. ‘My apologies, Danielle,’ he said. ‘I let myself get carried away.’
‘I… I should have stopped you,’ she managed to get out weakly.
‘I should never have kissed you in the first place,’ he said. ‘Only I control my actions, not you.’
His eyes moved to her lips once again, and he sighed. He moved her, standing her up straight and helping her regain her unsteady feet.
When Danielle met his eyes, they were full of tenderness and emotion. It spun her. An intense shock of fear and sickness went through her, followed by a feeling like she’d done something wrong.
‘Danielle, what’s wrong?’ Bedvir stepped closer to her and she backed away. Her whole body was shaking and she couldn’t get it to stop. He stepped towards her and a shot of pure fear went up her spine. Danielle jerked away from him, her hands up to defend herself.
‘Danielle,’ Bedvir whispered. He stepped away from her and crouched on the floor, looking suddenly small, his face full of concern. ‘Who hurt you, my Danielle?’
The face of her uncle blazed into her mind. His smell in her nose. She closed her eyes and conjured the image of the stars as they appeared from her bedroom window. At night, she felt safe because at night he couldn’t touch her. Uncle Nate only looked after her from after school, until evening when her parents got home when they’d all go out drinking together.
In her mind, Danielle used the telescope she’d been gifted by their neighbour when he bought a new one. One by one, she pulled her favourite constellations into view one at a time. The jewel box. The Sagittarius Star Clouds. Trifid nebula and Lagoon nebula. She mentally changed it to Eta Carina and admired star clusters there. She looked at the Tarantula nebula before ending with the southern cross.
By the time she finished, the shaking had stopped and she was breathing normally.
She opened her eyes and looked at Bedvir, who was still crouched on the floor watching her. Surprisingly, there was no pity in his eyes. Instead, there was admiration.
‘What?’
He smiled at her. Again, the look on his face was tender, but while she felt a small shock of awareness, the effect was minimal.
‘I have seen our people who suffer trauma. Seen them do what you just did. Whatever it is, Danielle, you have me, Haddis, and Aerdan now. You don’t have to suffer this alone anymore.’
For the first time in her life, Danielle found she wanted to share what he’d done to her with another person. But when she opened her mouth, her throat closed up.
‘Not now.’ Bedvir rose. ‘When you’re ready.’
Danielle nodded. ‘I might never be,’ she admitted.
‘It doesn’t change a thing,’ he said. ‘We’re here for you.’
* * *
Bedvir walked into the mess a few hours later. Danielle had gone to her room to clean up. He had no idea where his little human had found the grease—a radiant engine didn’t have many moving parts—yet he’d left her alone for a few metri and when he returned, Danielle had grease on her clothes, her hands, and streaked across her cheek. He would have cleaned it off for her, but after what had happened after he kissed her, he didn’t want to touch her without permission.
Aerdan sat at his usual spot at the head of the table while Haddis was helping Sidha and Kentor in the galley.
Bedvir stood at the door and made sure there was no sign of Danielle.
‘You’ve had Danielle in with you for ages,’ Aerdan complained.
Stifling a sigh, Bedvir ushered everyone to the table with a hand wave.
‘We have to be quick. Danielle’s cleaning up.’
Sidha led Kentor and Haddis to the table, the brothers sitting side by side. Even though Sidha had taken a seat, he was quickly picked up and placed on Kentor’s lap.
‘Danielle.’ Bedvir sighed. ‘Whoever hurt her…’ Bedvir felt his earlier rage return in full. ‘We’d have killed a person who hurt Danielle in the way I suspect she’s been hurt.’
Haddis sucked in a breath through his teeth. Aerdan sat back with a stunned expression on his face. Even Kentor had gone stiff beside him.
‘I suspect you’re right,’ Sidha said. ‘I recognise the signs.’
Kentor seemed to go even more still. ‘Your uncle?’
‘He didn’t,’ Sidha said. ‘But he wanted to. That’s why he used to beat me.’
‘I wanted to kill him the first time I saw your back,’ Kentor hissed. ‘You should have let me.’
‘He’s light years away now,’ Sidha said gently.
‘I didn’t realise things were that bad for you on Sindaal,’ Aerdan said, sitting forward.
Sidha laughed a bitter laugh. ‘My parents sent me to my uncle to get me away from my lover. They sent me into the hands of a religious zealot who desired males.’ Sidha shook his head. ‘Back to Danielle. I’m happy to talk to her.’
‘I’ve told her she can talk to us when she’s ready. If you do the same, don’t push her. I think she needs to be the one to guide this.’
Sidha nodded.
‘If Earth ever lets us in their space, we find the kojash and we kill them,’ Aerdan said the words as they were on the tip of Bedvir’s tongue. He swallowed them down along with the sick feeling that had risen when he saw Danielle fall apart. It brought back memories of his capture on Temir.
Bedvir was from Vadra Mita. They were from the southern continent on Temir and were primarily traders and farmers. They hadn’t had ships. So when the Bentari came, he and his people were trapped. They’d hidden in the mountains but were quickly tracked and trapped. The Bentari were cruel masters, and he’d watched his mita receive horrific abuse.
When many of the males were sold to the Iladar for their mining, it was Aerdan who led their ship into an ambush, the first of their ambushes. Haddis had been with his mita on another ship, but it was the two males who freed him. He’d felt an affinity for Haddis and Aerdan im
mediately, and they’d decided to stay together, Haddis’s brother joining them. They’d been together ever since and done their best to free as many of their people as they could.
In his heart, Bedvir knew Aerdan was driven because he still hoped to find one or more of his mita among the freed slaves. But Bedvir had been in the slave facilities that Bentari built with his fellow Temerin and had heard the rumours that they’d all been killed.
‘Okay.’ Sidha stood and went over to the door. He looked down the hall and signalled they were still clear. ‘Enough of this. If she catches us talking about her, she’ll never trust you three.’
Bedvir and Haddis nodded in agreement, while Aerdan gritted his teeth.
Kentor joined Sidha back in the kitchen and the three of them sat there in silence.
‘What was she doing in the engine room?’ Aerdan asked with an air of false casualness.
‘She wants to be useful to the ship while she’s here. But she didn’t seem to enjoy engineering.’ Bedvir grinned, replaying the moment he returned to the engine room to find Danielle grimacing at him from the floor with grease on her uniform and hands.
‘I can teach her to pilot the ship,’ Haddis said.
‘Me too,’ Aerdan volunteered.
‘You and Danielle can’t be in the same room without Danielle looking around for something sharp. I think we should leave it to Haddis for now.’
Aerdan’s face grew a few shades of purple darker, but he kept his mouth closed in a grim, tight line.
A few metri later, Danielle walked in just as Kentor and Sidha were dishing up. She paused when she saw Aerdan but continued on as though nothing was wrong.
‘How did you enjoy the engine room?’ Haddis asked, as she sat down.
‘Err, it was all right,’ she said.
Bedvir watched as she scrunched her nose up, his heart warming in his chest and the gesture.
‘Would you like to join me in the bridge tomorrow. I can teach you how to pilot the ship.’
‘Ooo. I’d enjoy that.’ Danielle smiled. Her eyes moved nervously over to Aerdan but returned to Haddis and her smile grew wider.
‘Cuulden got back to me earlier. The temit has been set. We’re headed there now,’
Aerdan said, as soon as there was a lull in the conversation. Bedvir turned to him. There was still the constant tension in Aerdan that never seemed to go away lately.
‘Where?’ Haddis asked.
‘A planet in Oridan space. Near the border with Vonidon. We’ve had a colony hiding there for a long time. They’re the ones getting the ship we just captured. We’re going to deliver the ship, have our temit and then leave the planet for good.’
Bedvir nodded, along with everyone but Danielle. ‘Who are the Oridan?’
‘Warrior race,’ Bedvir answered. ‘They live on a strange, cold world. But they’re good to trade with and don’t participate in slavery. They won’t bother us if they find us.’
‘So why not colonise the planet?’
‘They don’t want us there in numbers,’ Bedvir answered, feeling the pain in his throat grow. There was always a hard feeling, like there was something forever lodged in his throat. ‘They think we’ll steal from them.’ He looked at his friends and they chuckled.
‘Do you?’ Danielle looked around the table. ‘Steal?’ she clarified, even though she could see the answer on their faces.
‘Mostly from slavers, Lathia. Slavers and enemies. We only borrow from friends,’ Haddis said.
‘Do your friends,’ she used air quotes, ‘know you’re borrowing from them?’
The guys all looked at each other, guilty expressions on their faces.
‘Do they ever get the borrowed,’ again she used air quotes, ‘items back?’
‘Wellllll…’ Aerdan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
‘Then that’s not borrowing,’ Danielle said, angry.
‘We forget we have them.’ Haddis grinned.
‘Or appreciate them more than the original owner,’ Kentor offered.
Danielle shook her head, seemingly disgusted with them.
‘They never take anything people need, Danielle,’ Sidha said. ‘And I’ve seen them give away more than they take, not just to Temerin but people who genuinely need it.’
Danielle went stiff for a moment, then visibly, her anger bled from her. She looked around at each face, her cheeks flushing slightly. ‘Well, okay then.’ She looked down at her plate of food. ‘Stealing is still wrong.’
Bedvir’s heart flooded with emotion as he watched their little human struggle with her own morals and embarrassment.
‘We do not set out to steal, but there are those among our people who do. We do not judge them for how they choose to survive in a galaxy hostile to our freedom.’ Bedvir reached out and touched her arm. ‘We understand how you feel. But this is not your safe world surrounded by weapons we could only wish for. We will do whatever it takes to remain free.’
Danielle looked up at him, then cast her eyes across the table and the people sitting with her. The people she didn’t yet know were her mita. She paused a few moments to think about it and finally nodded. ‘I get that,’ she said. ‘I’ve never really had to think about it.’ She opened her mouth to say something, then quickly shut it, her face turning red.
‘What is it, cahdra?’ Bedvir asked.
Danielle shook her head, her forehead scrunching. ‘Nothing.’
Haddis opened his mouth to enquire, but Bedvir shook his head. Impatience flashed across his features before he schooled them and nodded.
‘Would you like to hear about the time we invaded a Bentari noble’s ship and stole his slave harem from under him?’ Haddis grinned.
Danielle’s eyes went wide and a shy smile appeared. ‘You didn’t.’
‘We did,’ Aerdan confirmed. ‘Charvosh never even realised we were there.’
Meal started properly as Haddis told the tale of their invasion onto the Bentari pleasure yacht. Something that size would usually cater to clients, but this selfish vojan had set one up for his own personal use. They’d debated forcing the crew onto lifeboats and stealing the entire ship, but decided against it when they learned he was the Bentari emperor’s cousin. Instead, they snuck in, snuck out, and left no trace they’d ever been there, making it a mystery the vrok had never solved. By the time Haddis had described their escapades, Danielle was holding her stomach and trying not to spit out the water she’d been drinking with her meal. From there Haddis chose to regale her with stories of his youth, growing up with his mita, which Kentor contributed to, usually to throw in some bits Haddis didn’t want to tell, like how he ended up in a tree being harassed by a small herd of creatures on a world they were visiting for a temit when he was a young male.Watching Danielle relax and enjoy herself was a privilege that all of the males at the table enjoyed. But what made everything better was that each time Danielle lost herself to fits of laughter, she reached out and leaned against Bedvir.
She reached for him.
Bedvir should have known what was coming, but he was enjoying the sight of a happy Danielle far too much to think of Aerdan and his jealousy.
They’d all come to their meal wearing their hair down and long again. Even Kentor and Sidha had joined in, Bedvir guessed to make it less weird for Danielle, but also because this was their time for hoji as well. Sidha was sitting in Kentor’s lap, sliding his fingers through Kentor’s crimson hair that, like Haddis, he wore swept over one shoulder when down, his head leaning against Kentor’s shoulder, taking sniffs of his mate periodically. Bedvir saw the covetous look Aerdan was giving them, his eyes turning to Danielle. At the same time, Danielle reached out her arm, her fingers closing on Bedvir’s arm as she laughed.
A deep growling filled the room, and all laughter stopped.
Danielle turned to Aerdan, her face going pale. She saw the direction of his eyes and followed them to her own hand closed around Bedvir’s arm. She snatched it back like she’d been burned, leaving Bedvir
feeling bereft of her touch and warmth. Her eyes went hard as Aerdan nodded with approval. Standing, she glared at him before turning and leaving the room.
The air in the mess grew thick with tension until it was disrupted by the sound of Danielle’s door slamming shut.
Bedvir turned to Aerdan, whose purple eyes were on him, hostility shining through.
Aerdan’s nostrils flared, his face heating, ‘Don’t you say—’
‘Shut up, Aerdan.’ Sidha untangled himself from his mate and stood. ‘Well done. At the current rate of progression of your relationship with Danielle, in thirty or so solars she might not consider you a total, as the humans say, asshole.’ With that he walked out.
Kentor stood and looked at Aerdan, a sad look on his face. He shook his head and followed his mate.
Bedvir realised he was holding his breath and let it out.
‘Well, that was fun,’ Haddis said. He stood and walked towards the door. ‘Coming?’
Bedvir nodded and stood. He looked back at Aerdan. Sadness filling him. If Aerdan couldn’t get over this, he would jeopardise their hard won mita. Aerdan’s eyes met him with anger. Bedvir turned his back and walked towards the door.
‘Bedvir!’
Aerdan jumped Bedvir from behind and the two of them rolled on the floor, leaving Bedvir on top.
‘Aerdan, stop it.’
‘She’s mine!’ he hissed, then pushed, following the momentum to swap their positions.
Haddis reached down and tried to pull Aerdan off but Aerdan pushed him back, clenched the same fist, and punched Bedvir in the face. The back of his head hit deck. The double impact caused his vision to white out, but he still managed to throw up his arms in self-defence.
‘Dammit, Aerdan! Leave him alo—’
Bedvir opened his eyes to find Danielle staring down at them, shock and anger on her face as she stared at Aerdan.
‘Just as I was thinking maybe I overreacted, maybe I misunderstood.’ Danielle shook her head, disgust in her eyes, and walked away.
For a few moments, they were frozen, staring at the doorway. Then Aerdan growled and stood, taking several steps away from them.
