by Shandi Boyes
Alright, maybe I might. It is only looking down at our little son that made me reconsider. I can see so much of Nick in his adorable little face, but he has my hair coloring. Not long after being handed our precious little angel, Noah and Emily arrived at the hospital with my overnight bag. Emily’s excitement practically beamed out of her as her eyes roamed over Jasper. Nick and I discussed baby names for weeks before we finally settled on one. We both had very different ideas on the type of names we liked. I ended up just reading out every name from a baby book. It was only when I got to the J’s did Nick finally speak….
“What was that?” he questioned, his eyes peering up from the television screen to look at me.
“Jason or Jasso?” I question, wondering which name he was referring too since they were spilling out of my mouth at a record speed. He looked over at me and cocked his eyebrow, his expression showing that he wasn’t amused. He scooted across the carpet in our living room and removed the baby book from my hand.
“This one” he informed while pointing to a name in the book.
“Jasper?” I queried after removing his finger from covering the name. He nods his head, while smiling.
“It’s strong and masculine while also being unique. Just like our boy will be” he said confidently. I tested the name out a few times in my head. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it either. Since it was the first name that had sparked a reaction out of Nick and my patience was starting to run a little thin, I decided to give up on the baby name search for that day.
It was only when Nick arrived home from a week stint in Los Angeles the following week with a little blue romper that had ‘Jasper’ written across the front did I fall in love with the name. It might have been more the fact that Nick had purchased the romper himself that made me love it.
But now when I look down at our little son, I think his name suits him. I just hope he doesn’t follow in his dad’s footsteps of a player lifestyle, since he is branded with his middle name.
It was only after Emily and Noah left was I transferred to the maternity suite on level three of the hospital. Emily visited me alone a few hours later and I tried my hardest to help her research a way that she could still complete her studies and be able to travel with Noah.
The next morning, Nick seemed very apprehensive as he walked into the room. He quickly placed a kiss on my head, before making his way to pick up Jasper in his crib.
“Are you okay?” I question while watching him snuggle Jasper in close to his chest, making my heart melt. “The guys aren’t giving you too much hassles are they?” I continue cheekily, causing Nick to smile while shaking his head.
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” he queries, while smiling. I smile brightly at him while shaking my head. I’ll be sure to remind him of his fainting episode every time he pisses me off for the rest of his life.
He walks over towards the bed and gently hands me Jasper, before his eyes leisurely roam over my face. “They want us to go on tour” he informs quietly. My eyes dart up from tucking Jasper’s hands into his blanket to look at the apprehensive face of Nick.
My heart rate increasing with excitement since everything the band has been aiming for is finally coming true. “Next week” he continues, making my heart rate plummet.
“What?” I reply quickly, while hoping out of the bed to place a sleeping Jasper back into his crib.
“I just had a baby…. I just gave birth…I don’t even know what I am doing” I reply panicked. I was having a hard enough time the past twenty-four hours trying to recover from the birth, let alone walking through the maze of motherhood alone.
“You’ll work it out in no time”
“I don’t want to work it out alone Nick” I interrupt angrily as my eyes fill with tears. When he notices the tears streaming down my face, he slowly walks towards me, his face morphing into sadness, before he pulls me in close to his chest.
“Why does it have to be so soon?” I sob. I know this is everything the band has been aiming for, but I had just given birth to our son and now Nick is going to leave.
“I’ll work something out” he whispers into my hair as the tears continue to stream down my face.
Nick continues to try and sooth me for several more minutes when we both hear the sound of my hospital door opening. “Sorry” Emily apologizes when she notices my tears, before she quickly darts back out of the room.
Once I have settled my tears, Nick goes out to advise Emily she can come in. When she first enters, her eyes roam over my face slowly. She offers me a small smile, before walking over and wrapping her arm around my shoulders.
“I didn’t even think when Noah was telling me about the tour last night, I’m sorry” she apologizes, like it is her fault that they have been scheduled to go on tour.
“It’s not your fault, I’m just scared” I respond, while trying not to let my tears form again.
“Motherhood is scary” I inform sternly, causing Emily to softly giggle.
“You’ll be a natural” she assures, before Nick comes barrelling into the room, scaring the living daylights out of both of us.
“Noah is a fucking genius” he yells at the tops of his lungs, before rushing towards me and planting a long hard peck on my smiling lips.
“You and Jasper can come on the road with us” he advises once he pulls away from our embrace.
“I can’t take a baby on the road” I begin to protest.
“Why not?” Nick question, his eyes darting between Noah that has just entered the room and me.
“They just sleep, eat and poop, he can do that anywhere” he continues excitedly, triggering Emily to giggle.
My eyes dart over to look at Noah standing in the doorway smiling brightly. “This was your idea?” I question. His smile becomes even larger as he nods his head. “So a baby screaming at two am in the morning won’t bother you at all?” I question sarcastically, wiping the smile right off his face.
He seems to be considering my question, before he eventually replies “You won’t be in my room so that’s okay,” triggering Emily to once again giggle.
“So?” Nick questions while his eyes slowly roam over my face. His eyes are beaming with so much excitement there is no way I am going to be able to deny his request. I don’t want to be away from Nick any more than he wants to be away from us.
“Okay” I reply quietly. Nick jumps in the air and screams loudly, startling Jasper that much that he whimpers. Emily walks over to his crib and gently lifts him out. Within a matter of mere seconds, she soothes his cries.
“You’re a natural” I inform kindly. She smiles brightly as her eyes turn to look at Noah.
I decided that was the perfect opportunity to ask them if they would do us the honor of becoming Jasper’s godparents. Emily cried happy tears and Noah’s dark eyes looked between Nick and I, his face slightly mortified. It was only when I explained it was about giving Jasper guidance and leadership in his life did Noah eventually agree to be his godparent. I know the little bump in the road Emily and Noah had experienced this weekend was only a minor glitch in their relationship. Nick and I are both confident that they are the perfect couple to be godparents to our children.
Later that night, Nick scared the living daylights out of me and Jasper again. He was talking to Noah on the phone while he had Jasper nestled in his arms. He quickly moved towards me and handed me Jasper, before he started jumping around the room, screaming loudly at the top of his lungs. His screams were so loud he startled Jasper that much he cried.
It was only once he informed me that their song ‘Surrender Me’ had reached number one on the billboard charts and that their album was also number one in the country did I excitedly scream along with him. Poor little Jasper might need to get his hearing checked with how loud we were both squealing.
As the days went on, I started to finally get a better understanding on motherhood. I was lucky that Jasper is a pretty carefree baby. He literally does just sleep, eat
and poop. I had just finished nursing Jasper and had handed him to Nick to settle, when my obstetrician Dr Morgan came to visit. His rosy cheeks still prominent even though we are in winter.
“He was a little eager” Nick informs Dr Morgan, chuckling softly.
Dr Morgan looks over at Nick holding Jasper and smiles softly, before turning to close the door. When he turns back around, I notice the concerned look on his face. My eyes dart over to look at Nick and he has also noticed the change in persona from Dr Morgan. Nick stands from the chair he was sitting on and moves next to me sitting on the bed.
“I requested to talk to you both before any authorities were called in” Dr Morgan advises, his voice marred more with concern than anger. My heart plunges as my eyes dart between Nick and Dr Morgan. Why would the authorities need to be brought in?
“Have either of you ever heard of a drug called Misoprostol?” questions Dr Morgan, this time his voice sounding more stern. Nick and I both instantly start shaking our heads.
“What is misop” Nick attempts to question.
“Misoprostol” Dr Morgan interrupts “Is an abortion drug that is normally found on the black market in Brazil” he informs, causing my panic to surge to a new level.
“But if you search hard enough, small amounts of it can be found State side” he continues, his eyes turning down to look into mine sternly.
“I would never…. I didn’t” I stumble nervously, trying to inform Dr Morgan that I would never intentionally harm Jasper. My eyes burn from the sudden rush of moisture that has formed in them. Dr Morgan pulls over a hard plastic chair and sits close to my bedside. I quickly brush away the tears that are dropping down my face as his eyes stare into mine with concern.
“The doctor at your delivery ordered a blood work up in case you were going to need a blood transfusion and we found a high dosage of Misoprostol in your blood work” he informs gently, leaning his hand out to squeeze mine that is now gripping the white hospital sheets tightly.
“Now, I know at the start you were considering going down this path…”
“I would never, I never took anything” I interrupt between sobs. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him” I advise while lifting my gaze to look at Jasper who is cradled in Nick’s arms. Nick is watching the exchange between Dr Morgan and I with his eyebrows pulled together tightly and his eyes are flickering like he is recalling a memory. Once his gaze eventually returns to my face, I can see the panic that has settled behind his eyes.
“Who made you that herbal tea?” he questions rushed. Dr Morgan’s eyes dart up from looking at me to look at Nick.
“A lady I met at Dr Morgan’s office” I inform, my head bouncing between Dr Morgan and Nick.
“What was her name?” Nick questions, as a muscle in his jaw starts to get a nervous twitch.
“Katrice, her name is Katrice” I respond, while wondering why it would matter. When I say the name Katrice, Nick sighs softly and the anger in his eyes starts to lessen.
“I don’t have a patient called Katrice” Dr Morgan informs quickly, triggering my head to turn from staring at Nick to look at him.
“What does she look like?” Nick questions panicked. My heart rate surges when I see the panicked marked all over his face.
“She has light brown hair that sits just above her shoulders, hazel eyes, a chipped front tooth”
Nick curses harshly under his breath, before gently lowering Jasper back into his crib. He places a quick kiss on the top of my head and asks Dr Morgan to talk to him outside. When Dr Morgan agrees, Nick looks over at me and tells me not to worry and that he will be back in around an hour. I sit on my bed, completely dumbfounded and confused by everything that is going on. My brain recalling all of the events leading up to the birth of Jasper. It is only when I hear the faint sounds of a baby crying do I snap back into reality.
I gingerly hop off the hospital bed and make my way to Jasper who is lying in his hospital crib. His little blue eyes are open and looking around the room, like he is absorbing his surroundings, just like his dad always does. When his fist moves past his mouth, he starts eagerly sucking it, indicating that he is once again hungry. I gently lift him out of the hospital crib and go and sit on the large leather reclining chair in the corner of the room. Small tears reform in my eyes at the thought that Dr Morgan assumed I had intentionally tried to harm Jasper.
Once I have nursed Jasper and he is back in the hospital crib sleeping peacefully, I grab my phone out of the large zipper busted suitcase Emily had brought to the hospital. I type ‘Misoprostol’ into my google search bar. My heart drops into my stomach when I read the information on the drug that I have supposably ingested.
‘Misoprostol is a medication that is used to start labor, cause an abortion or to prevent and treat stomach ulcers. Its effectiveness is between 66% and 90% and can either be administrated by mouth, under the tongue or placed into the vagina. Common side effects include diarrhoea and abdominal pain. If taken in the late stages of pregnancy, it can cause uterine rapture, that may result in neonatal death and haemorrhaging’
My fearful eyes dart over towards Jasper, staring at his little chest to make sure it is still moving up and down. I continue to watch over him for the next thirty minutes until I hear my hospital room door opening. Spinning around, I notice Nick entering the room, his face constricted with concern.
“I’m so sorry I brought her into your life” he whispers tormentedly, while running his hand roughly over his head.
I carefully stand from the edge of the bed I am sitting on and make my way over to him. His eyes slowly roam over my face as they fill with tears.
“She could have killed you both” he whispers harshly.
Chapter 39
Nick
I knew Jenni would have never intentionally harmed Jasper. It was only when Dr Morgan started questioning her about the drug did I remember about her drinking that funny tea the morning she gave birth. I didn’t even consider at the time that Jenni is the first out of all of her friends to have children, so she wouldn’t have been given the tea from Emily or Nicole. When she first mentioned it was a friend from Dr Morgan’s office, I was relieved. Until Dr Morgan said he had no such patient of that name at his clinic. The instant Jenni said Katrice had a cracked front tooth, I knew she was Megan.
“Is there a way to test a liquid to find out if it was spiked?” I question Dr Morgan when he joins me in the corridor outside of Jenni’s hospital room.
“I am sure if you have a sample, I could organise someone to test it” he replies, slightly stumbling. “Why, what’s going on Nick?” he continues concerned.
“I think Jenni may have taken the drug unwillingly” I respond, causing Dr Morgan’s eyebrows to pull together tightly.
I end up giving Dr Morgan a quick rundown on everything that had happened with Megan, including the paternity case, the stalking and how I was concerned that she may be dangerous. He responded saying that he would organise a security officer to be placed outside of Jenni and Jasper’s room and strongly suggested that I contact the authorities.
The first person I called was Ryan, a detective from Ravenshoe Police Station. He arrived at the house I share with Jenni not long after me. He took a sample of the tea that was in a bottle in the refrigerator and advised that he would get a rush order done to see if there were any illegal drugs in it. I then headed straight to the ‘Dungeon’. I knew my chances of finding Megan were going to be greatly improved by going there. The instant I enter the carpark, I scan my eyes over the space and feel deflated when I don’t see Megan’s car there.
I bolt inside the club, noticing that there is only a handful of people milling around. It is only late in the afternoon, so most partygoers won’t arrive for hours. My eyes quickly scan the surrounding areas and I am unable to locate Megan anywhere.
“You know how to fucking pick them” Isaac remarks from his office door.
“Do you know where she is?” I question angrily, assuming he is talking
about Megan. My blood is surging through my body so fast that I am having a hard time reeling in my anger.
“I’m taking care of it” Isaac informs, before walking into his office. I quickly close the distance between us and follow him into his large office.
“What do you mean you’re taking care of it?” I question, watching as he walks around his desk and sits in his leather chair.
He motions for me to sit in the chair across from him, but I can’t sit down with how much adrenaline is coursing through my body. When Isaac notices that I am shaking my head at his request, his eyes narrow and dart down to the chair, instructing me to follow his command. I plop angrily into the chair, tapping my foot up and down to release some of the tension surging through my body.
