“Glad you’re home, Anaya,” she said. “And thanks for having my brothers’ six. Can’t ever repay that, but you have our gratitude.”
I didn’t answer her because I was speechless. I settled back into Kyle’s embrace thinking maybe I’d be all right. Maybe I could win these people over. Maybe I should enjoy the time I had with Kyle and not waste a moment of it worrying about the future. I’d deal with the fallout when it happened. But in the meantime, I wasn’t going to keep piling up regrets.
Chapter 18
Emerson took Anaya up to Zane’s office where all the women were congregated. I didn’t think this was a good idea. Emerson and Anaya disagreed with me, and after Anaya gave me reassurance that she was fine, I relented.
I knew she was putting on a brave face. As she’d rightly pointed out, you could fake a lot of things but the eyes always told the truth. And she looked nervous. But she’d insisted she wanted to go meet the women and I’d promised to stop overreacting every time I thought she’d be put in a situation that might make her uncomfortable. I’d wisely kept my mouth shut.
Though, part of why I didn’t want her to go with Emerson was because I didn’t want to be away from her. And not because I didn’t think she’d be safe in the building, because I simply wanted her by my side. I wanted her within touching distance.
“Goddamn, he has it bad,” Brooks muttered.
“Yeah, like you’re one to talk, friend. We hadn’t even walked out of Tatiana’s office and you had that same look,” Thad pointed out.
“Y’all missed it but he had the look the second the woman walked into the Del. She hadn’t even strutted her ass across the reception area and he was gone for her,” Dec helpfully added.
I didn’t correct him, because he was not wrong.
“It’s like déjà vu,” Leo muttered.
“It would be for you.” Colin chuckled. “We didn’t even have Olivia out of the house before you were whispering sweet nothings in her ear.”
“Says the man who thought it’d be smart to claim the president’s daughter.” Jax shook his head. “I thought Zane was gonna have a coronary.”
“Right, because Violet didn’t have your ass in knots when she bold as brass broke into my building and pushed her way into my penthouse,” Zane added.
“Hey.” Jax put his hands up. “At least I fought it. And I can’t help it if my wife is—”
“Don’t go there. That’s my sister,” Declan growled. “I think you all are fucking crazy. Every one of you.”
“Don’t include me in that statement, brother,” Max said. “I’m not handing my balls over to a woman. At least not just one for the rest of my life. Variety is the spice of life.”
“Best decision I ever made, handing the Gold Team over to Dec. Now he gets to deal with all the drama.” Zane chuckled.
“The drama ends with Kyle,” Declan declared. “There’s zero fucking chance I want a woman, and Max is an untrusting, cantankerous bastard who’s lucky to get laid once a year. No woman would put up with his shit so I’m safe. But you, brother, you still have the Blue Team. And if you think about pulling me from Gold to send me over with Myles and the guys, I fucking quit.”
I sat back in my chair enjoying the banter going on around me. I’d missed this while my team had been gone. Not that we didn’t bullshit with each other. We did, we were all tight. But I’d missed the comradery within the company. Just because we were broken up into teams and sent on different operations didn’t mean we weren’t close. We were.
A lot had happened in the years since my team had been stuck in the desert. My friends had found their other halves. Had gotten married, had children. None of which we’d been around for.
It was then I realized I didn’t want to miss anymore. Linc and Jasmin’s twins were growing up. I’d only met Leo and Olivia’s daughter, Gia, once. And Ivy and Violet were both pregnant. I wanted to be around, I wanted to be a part of their lives. And I wanted to give this to Anaya. Friends. Family. Steady. I wanted her to have a safe place to heal. And there was no better group of people to help her do that.
Life had passed me by.
The door slammed open and ten men all reached for their hips, when Erin came into view, her long, light brown hair flowing behind her.
“We have a problem,” she panted. “Violet’s—”
She didn’t get to finish her sentence before Jax and Declan bolted from the room.
“Her, um, water broke,” Erin rushed out.
“Fuck,” Zane clipped and stood.
The rest of us followed suit, and as soon as we’d exited the conference room, we could hear a very angry Violet demand her brother and husband step away from her.
“I can walk down the stairs. No one is carrying me.”
“Vi,” Jax growled. “I’m helping you down the stairs. Dec, get in front.”
Violet shook her head and gave in. She was halfway down when I caught sight of Anaya. Her eyes were wide but she was smiling. And damn I wished I could’ve taken the time to soak it in. But a very loud groan reminded me Violet was in labor.
Dec, Jax, and Violet finally cleared the staircase after the longest, slowest descent known to man and as soon as Anaya reached the bottom step, I didn’t delay pulling her to my side.
“Holy crap,” she muttered. “I thought you could get growly and bossy. Sheesh.”
She hadn’t seen bossy, yet.
My attention went to Ivy as her face contorted like Violet’s had. She was fighting it, trying her hardest to mask the pain. I glanced at Zane and he hadn’t seen it yet, he was too busy talking to Declan.
“Ivy?” I called. “What’s wrong?”
Zane snapped to attention and turned to face his wife.
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Bullshit.”
“Really. I’m—” Her sentence hung in the air unfinished as she panted and tried to stand straight.
Zane was frozen, a look of sheer panic had firmly taken hold.
“How far apart are your contractions?” I asked.
“Contractions?” Zane echoed, and I wanted to laugh at the crack in his voice.
“About five minutes now. I was gonna wait until your meeting was over but I think I need to go to the hospital, too,” Ivy confessed.
Pandemonium ensued.
Men scrambled, ushering women to the door. I heard Violet trying to soothe her husband as he shouted for someone to bring his car around.
But Zane stood staring at his wife.
“You ready?” Ivy asked him.
“No,” he answered, and there was no missing the emotion in that one word.
“Well, ready or not, I think your boy’s ready.” She smiled.
“Fuck, baby, fuck,” he groaned.
I’d never, not once, heard my boss’s voice so full of love. Only Zane Lewis could make a curse sound like a romantic sonnet.
“Take me to the hospital, Zane. Let’s make you a daddy.”
He gave her a lift of his chin, moved to her, and both his hands glided over her round belly before they went to her face. “I love you, Ivy. So much, baby, so fucking much I can’t tell you how happy you make me.”
“Love you, Zane.” Ivy’s face twisted in pain and Zane muttered something unintelligible under his breath.
I stood and watched my team with their women as they all filed out the door. I did it with jealousy consuming me. I’d never wanted kids, never wanted to be tied down, never thought of having a wife because I didn’t want a family.
How could I have been so stupid? So wrong? I wanted it. All of it. I’d simply convinced myself I didn’t because I’d never found a woman who made me yearn for them.
We were all piled back into the SUV but this time Declan was behind the wheel. On the best of days Dec’s driving was a hair-raising experience. But following his sister and her husband while she was in labor was death-defying.
Whomever had thought it was a good idea to toss Dec the keys had been wrong.
&nbs
p; Anaya was smooshed between me and Max. In an effort to not sit close to my teammate she was practically on my lap. The hard set of Max’s jaw told me he hadn’t missed it, and knowing him he was pissed at himself. He may’ve been a hardass but he felt like shit for upsetting Anaya. But that was something he’d need to work out; I wasn’t getting involved unless Anaya asked or Max stepped over the line again.
“So I was right,” Anaya whispered.
“About what, sweetheart?”
“When we got to the office. I commented on the over-the-top security and asked if Zane met with the president.”
Max chuckled next to her. “Over-the-top is accurate.”
“I take it you recognized Erin,” I asked.
“You’d have to live under a rock not to know who the First Daughter is,” she noted.
“Right. So did Jas tell you that President Anderson is her uncle and she and Erin are cousins?”
“No,” she breathed. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Holy shit.”
Everyone in the SUV except for Declan laughed at her shock.
He was far too engrossed in driving as erratically as he possibly could and still make it to the hospital in one piece.
Six hours later all of us, save Zane, Ivy, Jaxon, and Violet, sat in the waiting room designated for labor and delivery.
The room was packed.
Leo and Colin sat next to their wives while Linc and Declan, the two men in the room who were about to become uncles, paced.
The door opened and Zane walked in. Linc was at his brother’s side before Zane could speak.
Not that he did right away. He stood taking in the room, needing a moment to gather his emotions.
“My son…” Zane stopped, his lips pinched, and with a nod he continued. “Eric Lincoln Lewis…” another pause as the men in the room sucked in all the available oxygen, “is here. Ivy did great.” Zane turned to his brother and Jasmin, who’d joined her husband, and with glassy eyes asked, “You ready to meet your nephew?”
The three of them exited the room and Anaya poked my shoulder. When I turned from the door to her, she got close and whispered.
“Why did everyone react that way when Zane announced his son’s name?”
Sadness hit my soul. My team had been on assignment when Eric Wheeler had died in Brazil selflessly saving the rest of his team when he jumped on a grenade. We hadn’t made it back in time for his funeral, something all of us regretted.
“Eric was a teammate. And a damn good man. He gave his life for his team.”
She didn’t say anything else but she didn’t have to—her sweet, sad smile said it all.
“Sit down, Dec. You’ll wear a hole in the carpet,” Brooks said.
Declan’s pained expression brokered no room for further comment. He wasn’t going to sit down and he wasn’t going to relax until he heard from Jaxon his sister was okay.
It would take two more hours and three more rounds of coffee being refilled before a haggard Jax came into the room.
“Declan, you wanna come meet your nephew?” Jax smiled at his brother-in-law.
“’Bout goddamn time,” Dec muttered and Jax shook his head.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that to your sister.” Jax turned his attention to the rest of us. “Give us a few minutes, then Vi wants the rest of you to come meet him.”
“Yo!” Leo bellowed. “His name?”
Jax shook his head. “Vi wants to talk to Dec first.”
The two men stalked out of the room and Erin started to laugh.
“What’s funny, Sunshine?” Colin asked.
“It feels like a lifetime ago I was in Zane’s office when Ivy and Violet told us they were pregnant,” Erin said.
“It was fun watching Zane and Jax get tied in knots the further along they got,” Olivia agreed.
More envy hit my chest. I glanced at my team and they were feeling it, too. All of us had missed out and I knew one thing for sure, I wasn’t missing anything else.
I’d give it a day, then I’d talk to my team.
Chapter 19
It was after two in the morning when we left the hospital and Brooks drove us to a house Kyle had explained Zane’d rented for the team to stay in.
I hadn’t wanted to say anything but I was relieved Brooks was driving and not Declan. Not that that was an option, considering he’d opted to stay at the hospital, but I was happy all the same not to have another death-defying experience.
Declan drove like a maniac.
When we’d walked in, Brooks and Tatiana and Thad and Emerson had peeled off, going to their bedrooms.
Brooks, Max, and Thad had already claimed their rooms, leaving me wondering where I was going to sleep. The house was gigantic. Spacious, open floor plan downstairs, leaving the kitchen, dining, and living rooms all in full view from the foyer. To the left when you first walked in was a formal seating area, directly in front were the stairs, and a little to the right was all the rest. There were also two closed doors—Max had explained one led to the basement and the second was the bedroom he’d taken.
There was still one unaccounted for bedroom upstairs and an in-law suite in the basement.
“We’re taking the basement,” Kyle announced. “Dec can take the room upstairs.”
“Figured that’d be the case.” Max chuckled. “You want a beer, Anaya? Or a glass of wine?”
Something had changed in Max over the last ten hours. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him friendly, but his attitude had softened.
I was dog-assed tired but didn’t want him to think I was rude, even if I shouldn’t have cared after the way he’d treated me. But it wasn’t in me to hold a grudge. They took too much energy and effort.
“A beer would be great,” I answered.
“Kyle?” Max called on his way to the kitchen.
“I’ll take one, too.”
Kyle led us to the couch and gestured for me to sit. Max came back in and handed us our beers and took a comfortable-looking lazy boy. He pushed out the footrest and laid back in the overstuffed chair and let out a grunt.
“Wild night, huh?”
“Always is when Tom comes to visit,” Kyle returned.
“I cannot believe you all call the president by his first name. Wait, rewind, I cannot believe I was in the same room as the president,” I gawked. “That was insane. And I already thought the whole day had been crazy with two babies being born.”
“We don’t call him that when we’re in public, but when we’re alone, he insists,” Max started. “And believe me, it took a while for all of us to get used to it. But when you slip and call him President Anderson, he threatens bodily harm. The man may look like a polished politician but make no mistake—the man is deadly.”
“That’s hard to believe after I saw the man making baby talk at Ivy and Zane’s son. And he sang to Jax and Violet’s son.”
“Declan looked…” Kyle faded.
“Emotional?” Max supplied.
“Yeah. That’s the word, though I never thought I’d call Dec emotional.”
I found that to be an interesting statement. I’d seen Declan lash out due to extreme emotion. He’d done it to me, twice. I wondered if they didn’t consider anger an emotion.
“I think it’s sweet that both babies have their uncles’ names.”
“I think Dec was surprised Vi and Jax would give Mason Declan as a middle name,” Kyle commented.
“Why? Declan’s Violet’s brother.”
“You’ve known him a short time. He told you about how he grew up, the two of them being separated. Does he seem like the type of man who forms close bonds?” Kyle asked.
I thought about his question and found it odd. “Well, yeah. He seems close to you and the rest of the guys.”
“Not even close. He would give his life for any of us. He jokes with us. He sticks his nose in everyone’s business but he is a vault. No one gets close to Declan. What you see is surface. Everything else is of
f-limits.”
“But I’m a stranger and he opened up to me,” I argued.
“Only because he was a dick and needed to apologize. The only way to do that was to give you a piece of his childhood. But, sweetheart, it was a sliver, not even a slice.”
That made me sad. But the more I thought on how much I hated that for Declan, the more I could identify with him. I’d done the same. I wasn’t close to anyone. Not really. Even with Kalee and Evie I only gave them what I could handle, which wasn’t much.
I took a sip of my beer and settled into the couch.
“What’s going on in your head?” Max asked.
“I’m wondering if people like us—me and Declan—if we’re destined to be alone.”
“Why would you wonder that?”
“Maybe the trauma of our pasts is too great to overcome. Maybe we’re too damaged. I don’t know, I’ve always kept everyone at arm’s length. It’s easier than having to answer uncomfortable questions about your past. It’s safer to lock yourself away so no one can hurt you again. But honestly, I’ve never thought about what it does to the people who are trying to reach out. My friend, Evie, she tries, or maybe she used to. But I’d never open up. Kalee did, too, and I’d always redirect the conversation to something else. I wonder if they looked like the two of you do right now, every time I pushed them away.”
“How do we look?” Max pushed.
“Like you’re both hurt that Declan won’t reach out and allow you to be the friend he needs.”
“You’re right, we are. Hurt, that is. He doesn’t have to be the way he is. Neither do you, Anaya.” Max drained the last of his beer, shoved the footrest back in, and stood. “I’m hittin’ the sack. I’ll leave you two to it.”
Kyle waited until Max disappeared into his bedroom before he turned to me. “You ready for bed?”
Was I ready to sleep? Hell yeah. I was beat. Was I ready to go down into the basement with Kyle when he looked furious? Hell to the no.
Kyle Page 15
