But then I remembered the wall I’d just been staring at. If I never put myself out there, that wall would stay empty forever.
“Sure, John. I’ll go out with you.”
“Great. Can I get your number?”
I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to him.
“So . . . I’ll call you then,” he said.
“Okay.”
He left, closing the door behind him. I smiled as I went back to the reports on my computer screen. John seemed like a nice enough guy. And for the first time in a while, I felt hopeful. Optimistic, even.
Later that afternoon, Eric Lockhart walked into the dining room with both hands behind his back. I pretended not to notice since he looked like he had a surprise.
“Meredith,” he said, walking sideways to keep me from seeing behind his back.
“Yeah?”
“Guess what I got on my spelling test?”
“Hmm . . .” I pretended to consider. “A B-minus?”
He whipped a paper out from behind his back, grinning. “A! I only missed one!”
“Wow! Great job!”
“My teacher gave me a sticker,” he said proudly.
“All that studying paid off, didn’t it?”
He was already on to something new. “You’re going swimming with us today, right?”
“When we finish homework, I will.”
“We don’t have homework. Tomorrow’s the last day of school.”
“It is? Already?”
He nodded. “We’re having a picnic tomorrow.”
“That sounds like fun.”
He furrowed his brow, looking concerned. “Will you still come over if we don’t have homework?”
“Sure, if you want me to.”
“I do. Especially if you bring cookies.”
I couldn’t help laughing at that. “Deal. So let’s tell Jordan we’re going swimming.”
We found Jordan, and we all changed into our swimsuits. The boys’ babysitter was so engrossed in her phone that she didn’t even notice what we were doing. I was less than thrilled with Stephanie. She never paid attention to the boys.
The backyard was an absolute paradise. It had been the talk of Lovely when Kyle and Kim had put in a large in-ground pool with a small waterfall a few years ago. There was also a hot tub sunk into the deck, a paved patio with lawn furniture, and landscaping that looked like it belonged in a home design magazine.
It was stunning—but not as lavish as the rumor mill had made it out to be. The guest cottage was beautiful, but it was very small, not the luxury-sized home I’d heard it was.
“Hey, Meredith,” Jordan said.
I turned toward him and saw a giant water gun pointed right at me. He wasted no time, hosing me with cold water from head to toe.
Once the water gun was empty, his expression was tentative. I could tell he was wondering what my reaction would be.
“I think there’s something in my eye,” I said, squinting. “Will you see if there’s anything there?”
Jordan came close enough to look at my eye, and I wrapped my arms around him and threw both of us into the pool. When I swam back to the surface, Eric was laughing hysterically.
We played Marco Polo, had races, and goofed around. I hadn’t laughed so much in a long time. Homework time was always serious, so it was nice to see them letting loose and having fun.
I’d lost track of time when Kyle walked through the French doors leading to the pool, giving us all an amused grin.
“Dad!” Eric cried. “Will you swim with us?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Even teams for relay races,” Jordan said. “I get Dad.”
The boys came up with a plan for races while I sat on the stairs in the pool’s shallow end. I was thinking about the reports I’d done at work this afternoon, my mind wandering, when Kyle walked back outside.
Whoa. He was shirtless, wearing just a pair of longish black swim trunks, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I’d never thought about what he looked like beneath his clothes, but he was lean and muscled. He had dark hair on his chest, which was sexy and a little rugged.
When I finally dragged my gaze from his body to his face, he was smiling. I’d been busted ogling. My cheeks burned with embarrassment.
Of all the men to openly admire, I’d just had to choose Kyle Lockhart. A brother of the man I’d once been engaged to.
But how was a woman who hadn’t had sex in a couple years supposed to respond to seeing a bare-chested specimen like Kyle? He was hot—that was undeniable. For the first time, I wasn’t seeing Reed’s brother, my surgeon, or the father of the boys I did homework with. He was just Kyle, and he liked that I was looking.
“Do a cannonball, Dad!” Eric cried.
Kyle smiled sheepishly. “I’m sure Meredith doesn’t want to see that.”
“No, I’d love to.”
When he jumped in the air and pulled his knees up to his chest, Kyle created a mighty splash. He was nearly six and a half feet tall.
The boys clamored to get on his back, and soon Kyle was giving them rides across the length of the pool, him swimming underwater as they took turns holding on to his neck.
I liked this side of Kyle. With his sons, he was relaxed and happy and even a little goofy. It was funny that I’d been so nervous about him being my surgeon recently. I’d worried he’d still resent me over Reed. But his easy smile put me completely at ease about that.
We did relay races, which Kyle and Jordan easily won. Then we played Marco Polo again, and I found out that Kyle was really good at that game. He cornered me in the pool, and my heart hammered uncontrollably as he got within a few inches of me.
I could feel the warmth of his body. He was inevitably going to get me, and I was anticipating where he’d touch me. It ended up being my arm, which was a bit of a letdown. His fingers lingered there for a few seconds, though.
It had been so long since I’d been with a man that a game of Marco Polo had become an erotic experience for me. Sad.
Jordan had a baseball game, so we had to get out of the pool for them to get ready for it. As I stepped out of the water, I felt Kyle looking at me. My red one-piece swimsuit was old and definitely not sexy, but the serious expression on Kyle’s face, his eyes dark and interested in what they were seeing, made me feel sexy.
I took a little longer than necessary to wrap myself in a towel, enjoying his gaze on me.
“You want to come to my game, Meredith?” Jordan asked.
“I wish I could, but I can’t.”
It was true. I would have loved to go. But I couldn’t be seen as the plus one to Kyle and the boys in public. The Lovely rumor mill would go into overdrive.
So instead I went home, where I did yoga and made myself a veggie pizza for dinner. I told myself a Netflix marathon was exactly what I wanted tonight, but it wasn’t.
I wanted to still be having fun with Kyle and the boys. But that wasn’t an option. I knew I’d made my bed, but lying in it really sucked sometimes.
Kyle
Playing two-on-two with my brothers got a little intense sometimes. This afternoon was one of those times. We’d all taken off work early on a Thursday to play basketball at the Lovely YMCA gymnasium, which was deserted right now.
“Foul!” Austin yelled.
“What, now you’re the ref, too?” Mason said after the ball bounced off the rim.
“You elbowed me in the face, asshole.”
“You ran into my elbow.”
“Who gives a shit? He didn’t score,” Reed said, walking over to the bench.
“You don’t give a shit because it’s my face,” Austin muttered.
“You were always the ugliest brother anyway,” Mason said, winking at him.
“Better than the one with the smallest dick.”
“You want to fight me?” Mason challenged. “I will fuck you up, number cruncher.”
Austin laughed and sat down on the bench. “You’re pretty ba
dass yourself, technology guy.”
“I still fight sometimes.”
“Bring it,” Austin said.
“No one’s fighting, douchebags,” I said. “I’m getting too old to break up that shit.”
Mason sat down next to Austin. “I think we might get to watch Kyle and Reed throw down, anyway.”
Reed looked at me, his brows arched with interest. “What’d you do, man?”
“It’s not what he did, it’s what he wants to do,” Mason said, shrugging.
“You’re an asshole,” I said to Mason. “I’m never telling you anything again.”
“What?” Reed asked.
“Nothing.” I wiped the sweat from my face with a towel. “He’s just trying to make trouble.”
“I’m just trying to help you get laid,” Mason said.
“I don’t need your help.”
“Clearly. Your dick probably shriveled up and disappeared from lack of use by now.”
“You just want to fight with someone today, don’t you?”
Reed interjected. “What’s he talking about? Just tell me.”
I glared at Mason. “It’s nothing.”
“I’ll tell him if you don’t,” Mason said.
“I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t shut your smug mouth.”
“You can’t, remember? You have to protect your precious surgeon hands.”
“Fucking tell me,” Reed said.
I sighed heavily and sat down on the bench. “Meredith has been helping the boys with their homework after school.”
“Yeah?” He gave me a confused look. “And?”
“And I told Mason I find her attractive. That’s it. He’s just trying to make trouble.”
“Why would I care that you find Meredith attractive?” Reed asked.
Mason jumped in. “How would you feel if he did something about it? Would it piss you off or not?”
I shook my head. “Mind your own shit, Mason. Seriously.” I looked at Reed. “I didn’t say I wanted to do anything about it.”
He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t you? I don’t think she’s seeing anyone.”
His nonchalance caught me off guard. “Still . . . it would be awkward. And I need to stay focused on the boys, anyway.”
“Kim’s been gone for a year, man,” Austin said.
“Yeah, but . . . kids don’t just forget about the stuff that went down with her. My boys saw their mom drunk, hungover, forgetting to pick them up from places. And then she left. I can’t imagine how it would feel to a kid for your mom to just leave like that.”
“Don’t put it on yourself to make up for that,” Reed said. “You’re a great father.”
“I try to be.”
“Being a good parent doesn’t mean never doing anything for yourself, though.”
I rubbed my temple, an image of Meredith’s smile flashing before my eyes. “Yeah, but Meredith? I’ve had enough of being the talk of the town from all that shit with Kim.”
Reed shrugged. “Plenty of other women out there.”
“Fuck the gossips,” Mason said. “Don’t be such a pussy.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m not being a pussy, I’m being a realist. You think I could just show up at Mom and Dad’s house for dinner with Meredith?”
Reed laughed.
“Of all the women for me to be interested in . . .” I shook my head, and a few droplets of sweat fell to the gym floor. “She’s pretty much off-limits . . . isn’t she?”
“If Reed had a problem with it, she would be,” Austin said. “No one else has any right to bitch.”
“It wouldn’t be weird for you?” I asked Reed.
He shook his head. “I’ve been over Meredith for a long time. I think things happened the way they were supposed to. Once I met Ivy, I was glad Meredith didn’t go through with marrying me. And I think people in this town are way too hard on her over it.”
“Yeah, Mom’s not a Meredith fan,” Austin said.
“Well, the boys like her,” I said. “She’s good with them.”
“She wanted to be a teacher,” Reed said. “But when her dad told her his finance guy had fucked him over and stolen money from the dealership, she felt like she needed to work for him.”
I nodded. “Her dad’s her only family besides Lena, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“I’d really rather not get tangled up in anything right now,” I said. “I don’t have the time or the stomach for it.”
“Not all women are like Kim,” Austin said. “Even before she started drinking, she was selfish and vain.”
I’d had enough of talking about this. “Let’s play,” I said, bouncing the ball I’d been holding against my hip.
“Just ask her out,” Mason said. “What’ve you got to lose?”
“Let’s play,” I repeated.
We resumed our game, and I tried to get Meredith out of my mind. I couldn’t, though, because I knew she’d be at my house with the boys when I got home. Just the thought filled me with a nervous excitement I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Meredith was sitting in my favorite leather recliner in the living room when I walked into the house. Eric was on her lap reading to her.
I was taken aback for a couple seconds. Kim had never been much of a nurturer, and the sight of Meredith smoothing her hand over Eric’s dark hair brought a lump to my throat.
Was my attraction to her based, at least in part, on watching her be this way with my kids? Maybe. They were my whole world, and seeing them get the motherly sort of attention they were so desperate for was a great feeling.
“Hey, guys,” I said.
Meredith took her hand off Eric’s hair. “Oh, hey. We’re just working on reading.”
“Where’s Jordan?”
“He’s swimming with his friend Nash. He said that was okay with you.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. He’s a good swimmer.
“And I told Stephanie she could go home early. I hope that’s okay.”
“Sure, that’s great. Good idea.”
She pushed the button on the side of the chair to fold the bottom back down, and Eric slid off her lap.
“Are you leaving?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she said, standing up. “Great job with reading today.”
“Will you swim with me?”
She smiled. “I don’t have a swimsuit with me. And I have to go to a softball game.”
“You play softball?” I asked her.
“No, I just watch with my dad. It’s a men’s league. The dealership has a team that plays in it.”
She was wearing a green sleeveless dress, and my eyes were drawn down her long, lean legs to her black, open toed heels. I wanted her to kick those shoes off, come into the kitchen, and sit on the counter while I made dinner.
Even if we just talked and played with the kids, I didn’t want her to leave. This was a sign. I needed to ask her out.
“Hey, Eric, will you take Hagrid out?” I asked.
“He’s already outside.”
“Well . . . go check on him, then.”
Eric went out the back door, and Meredith picked up her black bag from the ground, slinging it over her shoulder.
“See you tomorrow,” she said, walking toward the front door.
“Hey, uh . . . speaking of tomorrow . . . Do you have plans tomorrow night?”
“Um . . .”
I reached a hand behind my neck and grinned sheepishly. “I was just thinking, you know . . . I could make you dinner. To thank you for all the help you’ve given the kids. They’ll be at my parents’ house for the night.”
“Oh. I wish I could, but I actually do have plans.”
“Right. Short notice and all. Will your plans run late? We could just do drinks or something.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “I’m not sure. It’s . . . a date thing.”
“Oh, shit.” I cringed. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. Sorry.”
“
No,” she said quickly. “I’m not. It’s just this guy who saw me at work, and . . . anyway. What about next Friday night?”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” She smiled. “See you tomorrow, then.”
“See you then.” I opened the front door, and she walked out.
I watched her walk to her Jeep, taking in her legs once again. She wasn’t just pretty. There was also something very graceful about her. Some tall women were lanky, but Meredith had the presence of a runway model. Coupled with her girl-next-door smile, it was sexy as hell.
“Dad,” Eric said from behind me.
“Hmm?”
“You’re staring at Meredith.”
I turned to him. “Just making sure she gets to her car okay.”
“Why? You never made sure Stephanie got to her car okay.”
“Um . . . how’s Hagrid?”
“Fine.” His brown eyes were solemn as he stared up at me.
“You think we should order pizza for dinner?”
“Yeah. Cheese pizza. Only cheese. And sauce. And crust.”
“Got it.” I ruffled his hair. “So you like Meredith coming over, huh?”
“Yeah. She’s really nice. And she smells good.”
“Oh yeah? What’s she smell like?”
He shrugged. “Just girly. Like powder.”
I couldn’t get jealous of my own kid for being close enough to Meredith to smell her, but damn, did I want to be that close to her, too.
A date. Just the thought made me a little edgy. Who was this guy? Would he try to sleep with her tomorrow night?
Of course he would. She was beautiful. Tomorrow night I’d be at home—probably watching porn again—while some asshole was trying to get between her legs.
I’d been back in the dating game for all of five minutes, and I was already jealous.
Meredith
When Kyle got home from work the next day, I was alone in his living room.
“Hey,” I said, my heart pounding nervously just from the sight of him. “The boys are upstairs packing stuff to stay with your parents tonight.”
“Oh, good idea.” He met my eyes and smiled.
God, he looked good in those surgical scrubs. I was trying not to get my hopes up about him, because maybe he’d meant it about making me dinner to thank me for helping the boys. Maybe that was all it was. If I’d read his vibes wrong yesterday, I’d end up mortified and bummed.
Drawn Deeper Page 4
