“Your room, obviously.”
“You stole it?”
He rolls his eyes; “I didn’t steal it; I’m giving it to you right now aren’t I?”
“Why?”
He looks up at me, and he’s grinning this huge grin; “Because you’re going to use it.” He nods up at the sign across the marquee out front, and it’s only then that I realize what the hell is going on here.
The neon sign, the crowd of smokers out front, the muffled sound of music coming from within. It’s Friday, and as I glance at the poster in the ticket window outside, I confirm what I already know: It’s open mic night, and suddenly, I’ve got a very good idea of what we’re doing here.
“Knox, no, I’m not-”
“No excuses, princess. Now get your ass in there.”
*****
“I’m not doing this!” I hiss at him in the semi-darkness of the room.
“Shh!” Knox whispers with a grin over the whiney voice of the guy dressed in too much black on stage who can’t play his acoustic guitar; “Don’t be rude, Paige.”
“I’m seriously not getting on that stage,” I whisper harshly back. I’m shaking, and it’s this heady mix of both fear of the unknown and the raw thrill of being able to just play what I want to play.
“Sure you are.”
“Knox, you don’t-”
“Oh, hang on, I brought you props.”
“Huh?”
Knox digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out a brunette wig and thick black-rimmed glasses.
I snort a laugh; “Seriously?”
“Hey, if it helps with the stage fright by hiding behind these, then yes. That’s how much I want to hear those fuckin’ songs again, OK?” He looks at me as he holds out the wig and the glasses, and I’m suddenly struck by how sincere he looks. And the thought of playing those songs is suddenly much more tempting than the fear waging it’s battle inside my chest.
The kid on stages finishes his whiney song, or at least I’m pretty sure he’s done from the staggered and small bouts of dull claps around the quiet room.
“I-” I’m shaking my head and stammering; “Knox, I don’t know-”
“And up next, we’ve got Jessica Jackman!”
Knox suddenly elbows me; “Oh, yeah, by the way, that’s you.”
HUH?
He grins; “I know you’re all about the secret names and all that spy shit.”
The adrenaline suddenly spikes through me like rush of freezing cold water, and I’m suddenly not able to move at all, standing there in the shadows on the edge of the stage.
“Well get up there, princess!”
“Knox!” My hands are twisting around each other as I dart my eyes between him and the stage; “I- I can’t-”
“Paige-” He grabs me by the shoulders and looks into my eyes; “You can do this, I know you can.” He winks; “Now get up there and knock them off their asses!”
I’m moving in slow motion then, turning and climbing the three steps to the small stage holding my songbook in my sweaty hands. It’s dead quiet in the room as I sit at the keyboard, and the silence is deafening when I cough nervously into the microphone as I open up the book on the stand in front of me.
Oh God, I can’t do this.
There’s a hushed stillness when I look up into the dimness of the audience, seeing only stony, judging faces of people lowly lit from the lights of the stage.
No way.
But then my eyes land on Knox, and he’s grinning at me as he nods his head vigorously; “Woooo!” He shouts aggressively; “Yeah, Jackman! Play the fuckin hits!” There’s a ripple of laughter through the crowd, and I know they’re laughing at what they think is some sort of asshole heckler, but for some reason, it’s all the break in the tension I need.
It’s the push I need, and I just let go.
“I wrote this about falling and getting back up.” My hands are on the keys, my eyes focus not on the crowd but on the microphone in front of me -
...And then I just play.
And when I’m playing and pouring my heart out on that stage, there’s a stillness and a sort of peace that just comes over everything. Everything else melts and drops away when my fingers start to move, and when I open my mouth and let the words come out - the words and the voice that I keep hushed or silent back at home - it’s like nothing else in the world matters.
It’s just me and the words and the music then. I’m blind to the rest of the room, hear nothing but the sound of my voice, and feel nothing but the power in my own music and the pounding of my pulse in my ears. I’m drifting away on it; wordless and alone in my own head, and no one is watching.
And when I’m done, I sit back, and I know no matter what, I’ve found a peace and a fulfillment inside that no one can take away from me; not ever.
It’s utterly silent in the room for what feels like forever but is I’m sure more like a second. And then very suddenly, it’s not just me up there. It’s not just me playing for myself with no one else around, because suddenly there are lots of people there.
And they’re cheering.
Holy shit.
They aren’t even just cheering, they’re going wild. People are up out of their seats and clapping and whistling and screaming my name, and for a moment, it’s so surreal that I can't even believe it.
But then my eyes land on Knox, standing right in the middle of them all grinning at me as he claps, and I know that it is real. He throws his fit up in the air, making the rock-n-roll devil horns as he whistles at me, grinning his face off at me.
And I know nothing can take this feeling away from me.
“I can’t believe I did that.” She’s biting her lip and grinning at me in the neon glow of the marquee sign outside. A couple exits the venue and cheers when they see her, making her blush and shyly thank them as I hand her the spare helmet.
“Was I really OK up there?”
I stare at her; is she seriously even asking that?
“Um, yeah, princess, you was very fucking OK up there.” She blushes and pulls the helmet down over her head, tendrils of her hair framing her face in the blue glow of the marquee; “Your dad should really hear this, you know; he’d probably change his tune.”
This girl was fucking incredible up there; like, holy shit good. I mean I knew she had it in her, or at least I guess I sure hoped she did. But damn if she didn’t just kill it in there!
She shrugs; “Eh, he doesn’t want to.”
“His loss,” I say with a shake of my head, swinging my leg over the bike and starting the engine.
“Hey, Knox?” I pause with my helmet halfway on, turning towards her as she slips onto the bike behind me; “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For making me do that.”
I grin as I pull the helmet down and rev the bike beneath us; “Hey, that’s what I’m here for, McCauley; pushing your buttons.”
*****
I can feel her stiffen as soon as I do when the bike pulls around the bend in the long driveway to see Joe’s car parked right alongside my mom’s and the lights on in the great room downstairs. I quickly pull the bike into my little corner of the driveway and turn it off, and in the silence that descends after, I can hear her breathing heavily behind me.
So much for being in Atlanta…
“Oh shit!” She’s gasping; “Ohshitohshitohshit!”
I laugh, pulling my helmet off; “Wow, no swearing at all to getting it all out at once, huh?”
She whirls on me; “This isn’t funny, Knox! They’re home, and I am screwed!”
“Oh it’ll be fine.”
She rolls her eyes, yanking her helmet off her head, her red hair wild and free around her face; “Some of us don’t get in trouble so much that it just rolls off of them, Knox.”
I sigh; “No, I mean it’s going to be fine because I left your door locked from the inside with the lights on.”
I can tell she was about to throw something right back at me by
the adorable way she just freezes with her lips halfway open. She slowly grins and just shakes her head at me.
“C’mon,” I start to pull her around the side of the house towards the backyard.
“What? Wait, where are we-”
“If you waltz in now, that whole door locked, lights on ruse sort of goes out the window, now doesn’t it?” She frowns at me and I roll my eyes; “So now we go kill some time while we wait for them to go to sleep.”
She stops and stares at me; “You’re too good at this, you know.”
I smirk; “At what?”
“Being bad.”
“You have no idea.”
*****
In the backyard, we pull two reclined lawn chairs into the blind spot behind the pool house and lay back, staring up at the stars across the summer sky.
“So you really think I was good tonight?”
I roll my eyes as I turn to look at her looking at me from the lawn chair next to me; “You know, you keep fishing for compliments like this and I might just stop giving them.”
She laughs, looking absolutely incredible as she tilts her head back in the moonlight; “Oh please, you’re too obsessed with me to stop.”
I stare at her with mock indignation; “Obsessed, you say? Why, I’m wounded that you’d even think that, McCauley.”
“You arranged my underwear into the shape of a penis on my bed.”
I crack up; “Circumstantial, there’s no proof at all!”
She rolls her eyes as she turns her gaze back up the night sky; “OK, fine, I’ll just prove it with more fishing,” She grins; “Was I good tonight?”
“You were awesome, I already told you that.”
Her grin widens; “Do you think I’m a giant nerd for staying in and studying biology on a Friday night?”
“Definitely.”
She giggles, and I realize I’m absolutely staring at this girl laying back in the chair next to me. I’m memorizing the swell of her lips, the curve of her cheeks and the flutter of her lashes as she blinks up at the stars.
And it suddenly hits me that somehow, nerdy, annoying, princess-y rich-girl Paige McCauley has me tied up and twisted for her. Somehow this chick has me tongue-tied and head-over-heels, staring at her like some sort of weirdo and thinking of nothing else but her.
I realize it’s true as soon as I think it, and it sits there glowing like a little light inside my head the longer I think about it. And suddenly, I’m thinking about what happened before with us, and I want her. Not tomorrow, not later, not after we’ve “talked about it” or some shit.
I want her right now.
“OK fine, here’s another one. Do you think I’m pretty?”
“No.”
She whips her head around to stare at me, her mouth open wide with this exaggerated shocked look on her face; “Well excuse me, you arro-”
“I think you’re fucking stunning.”
And before she can say anything, and before I can even really appreciate the look of shock on her face, I’m leaning in and kissing her.
There’s a feeling of bliss as those full, pouty lips press hot against my own, and I’m drowning in the sensation of it.
She’s shocked at first, but as our lips seal together and stay like that, I can feel her suddenly responding to me. She whimpers quietly, and it’s the last breaking point for me that has the last of my reservations shattering around me.
I’m sliding across my chair into hers, my lips never leaving hers as our bodies press together. I cup her jaw possessively in my hand, feeling her moan into me as I open my lips and let my tongue slide across hers. She’s kissing me right back, pressing her body tightly against mine. I can feel my pulse racing like a fucking engine inside my chest, my blood pumping like hot lead as I devour her lips with mine. I want her - all of her. I want to possess her and show her everything she’s never felt before. I want to tear down her defenses and strip away her layers. I want to claim every part of her for the first time. I want to wrap her legs around my waist drive my cock into her again and again until she’s screaming my name. I want to taste that pussy and feel those perfect pouty lips wrapped tight around my dick.
I want it all, and I want it now.
She doesn’t stop my hand as I trails down her neck, and she kisses me harder when my fingers find her nipple hard and ready atop the swell of her breast. She moans when I slide my hand under, pushing under her bra to feel the warmth of her skin there and the pebbled hardness of her nipple.
When my hand slides lower, she tenses, but when I pause, she’s rocking her body against me, as if urging me on. She whimpers into my mouth, her tongue curling around mine as my fingers pull at the button of her jeans, and she moans when I slide the zipper down, one rivet at a time.
Her panties are lace at the top, and I can feel her shiver against me as I trace my fingers down stomach to the waistband.
“My dad...your mom…” She whispers suddenly, pulling away from my lips and biting hers nervously. I look towards the house, and even though it’s lit up downstairs, I know we’re hidden away back behind the pool house like this.
“We’re fine,” I say, sliding my fingertip across the waist of her panties; “Do you want me to stop?”
She looks up at me, her eyes blazing with something fierce and her lips slightly parted. She slowly shakes her head; “No.”
I’m pushing my fingers beneath then, sliding my whole hand under her panties to feel her bare and ready, feeling how burning hot and soaking wet she is for this the second I find her lips. She moans when I curl a finger into her, stroking at that spot just inside until she’s moaning into my lips again and again as she rocks her hips against me.
I drop my lips to her neck, sucking at the skin there and letting the sound of her sighs and her moans drift over me and drive me wilder and wilder, until I can barely stand it. I’m moving down her body, and it’s only then that I feel her start to freeze.
“You ok?”
“I-” I look up and see her staring at me wide-eyed, her lip between her teeth; “I’ve never, um-”
I grin; “Yeah, no, I got that.”
She blushes; “I-”
“I want to taste you, princess I want to slide my tongue into your pussy and lick the honey right out of you until you come against my face.”
I don’t say it to shock her or anything, it’s just the bare truth that comes tumbling totally unfiltered right out of me. Paige’s eyes go even wider, and for a second I think I may have just fucked this up by pushing too hard.
That is, until I see her tongue come out to slide over her lips as she slowly nods her head.
Oh fuck yes.
I’m pulling her jeans and her panties down her legs then, feeling her arch her hips to help me. Her skin is soft and glows in the moonlight as I run my lips up the inside of her thighs, teasing her and taking my time. I’m not trying to scare her, and I’m forcing myself to remember that this is about her and giving her this for the first time. My cock might be hard enough to cut diamonds inside my pants right now, but I’m doing everything I can to remember that this isn’t about me.
Crude: A Stepbrother Romance Page 10
