by Jenni Wilder
I nodded against his neck. He squeezed me tight again and then stood up, taking me with him in his arms. He carried me to the bathroom and into the shower. Without setting me down, he turned the faucet on, and the showerhead began to spray warm water down on us.
“Cold. Cold water, Lincoln,” I demanded in a shaky voice. I could still feel the nonexistent flames on my skin.
He set me on my feet and moved to turn the water to cold, but I clung to him, not able to let go. He wrapped one arm around me and turned both of us so he could adjust the water before holding me tight against his chest.
We stood like that for a long time, but Lincoln never once complained about the temperature of the water. It felt so good, reminding me I was alive, unharmed, and safe here with my man.
When I began to shiver, Lincoln let go of me and turned the water back to warm. He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me lightly on the lips.
“Are you okay?” he asked. Concern was etched in every feature in his face as I looked up at him and nodded. “Can you tell me what your nightmare was about?”
I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. “Your house was on fire.”
His nostrils flared, and he exhaled sharply. “And?” he prompted.
I closed my eyes knowing how much it was going to hurt him to hear the rest. “And you weren't there to help me.”
The only noise in the shower was the sound of the water hitting the tiled floor as I waited for Lincoln’s reaction. I opened my eyes and saw the pain on his face.
“It was just a stupid dream, Lincoln.” I didn’t want him to feel bad over some unrealistic scenario my sleeping brain had come up with.
“Have you had nightmares before?”
“Not for a long time. Not since before college.”
He pulled back from me and held me at arm’s length, ducking down to look me in the eye. “I need you to know your nightmare will never come true. I know I’m gone a lot, but you are one-hundred-percent safe, even if I’m not physically with you.”
I nodded. I wasn’t scared. Not like he thought I was.
Pain flashed across his face again. “It kills me that you would ever feel like I’m not here for you.”
“No, Lincoln. No.” I clutched at his face, desperately trying to ease his despair. “It’s not true. I don’t feel that way.”
He scoffed. “Obviously you do if you’re having nightmares about it.”
“It was just a stupid dream, baby. Please don’t let it bother you. I know you are here for me. You’re my fucking rock, okay? There’s no one in this world I need more than you.”
His arms were suddenly around me, hugging me tight against him. “There’s no one in this world I need more than you either, Princess. No one.”
~~~~~~~~
A dark cloud loomed over us as we left Washington, DC early Sunday morning. Lincoln didn’t have a game, home or away, but he was required to report to practice and work out. We napped on the plane ride home, and when he dropped me off at my house, I was anxious to get back to work on my thesis.
“Do you want to come to family dinner tonight?” I asked him when he pulled up to the curb in front of my house.
“I’ll be there.” This wasn’t the first family dinner he had attended, but due to his schedule, he hadn’t made more than a handful. “Will you stay with me tonight?” he asked as he held my hand and played with my fingers.
We tried to not stay together at my place. Even if we were fully clothed and behaving ourselves, I worried Tabitha would walk in on us. I also didn’t want to be the girl that spent all her time with her boyfriend, so even if he wasn’t gone overnight for away games, we didn’t always spend our evenings together. And since we had just been together all weekend, I assumed I would stay here and he would go home after family dinner. But apparently Lincoln was not thinking the same way I was.
“I can stay with you. If you want.” I smiled sweetly at him.
“Yeah. I want. I will always want.”
I bit my lower lip as my smile grew bigger. “Me too, baby.”
He carried my duffel bag to my door and kissed me good-bye before returning to his vehicle to head off to practice. I walked into my house and collapsed on the couch in our living room, dropping my duffel bag to the floor with a loud thump.
I heard Tabitha screech. “Auntie Jilly!” She raced from the kitchen and jumped on me, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Mm…” I hugged her tight. “I missed you, Tabby Cat.”
“Did you have fun?” my sister asked me from the doorway.
I nodded and smiled. “It was great. Lincoln’s parents are wonderful.”
“We saw you on TV!” Tabitha announced as she climbed into my lap.
“I heard. I would have waved if I had known.”
“What did Lincoln say about it?” my sister asked.
I sighed. I didn’t want to discuss this in front of Tabitha. “Can you set the code?” I asked her, meaning the alarm code to arm our new security system.
Rebecca raised her eyebrows at me in concern but turned and walked into the entryway without question. I heard a few beeps and she returned to the living room.
“Thanks.” I eyed her meaningfully. “Did you eat lunch yet?” I asked my niece.
“No, we were waiting for you.”
I grabbed her waist and dug my fingers in, tickling her hard.
She shrieked and twisted off my lap, out of reach.
“Come on. Let’s go eat, and I’ll give you your souvenir.”
“What’s a souvenir?” she asked.
“It’s a present from when someone travels,” I explained.
“Yay! Presents!” she yelled as she ran into the kitchen.
Rebecca hooked her arm through my elbow as I picked up my duffel bag. “I want to know everything.” Her voice was serious, and I knew she didn’t mean she wanted to know everything about the sights we saw.
“Later,” I told her, and she let it go for now.
My sister, niece, and I ate a lunch of tuna fish sandwiches and macaroni salad, and afterward I gave Tabitha her souvenir. It was a one hundred-piece puzzle of the American flag from the Smithsonian. She loved it and immediately ran to the living room and dumped the pieces on the floor. Tablets and apps can be good for kids to play with, but in my opinion they’ll never replace having a hands-on game that encourages logical problem solving and creative thinking.
Once it was clear Tabitha was preoccupied, Rebecca again asked about Lincoln’s reaction to me being on TV with his parents. I told her what Lincoln had said to his father and what we had talked about. I informed her about how, once we got back to our hotel room, Lincoln again asked me not to go anywhere alone and to make sure the alarm was always set when I was home.
“What did you say to that?” she asked me.
I shrugged. “What could I say? I wasn’t going to tell him no when he does have a point, even if he is slightly overreacting.”
“What if he’s not overreacting though, Jillian? Someone put you in the hospital once already.”
“I don’t really want to think about that. I’d rather just do what he asked and ignore the rest. It’s not like I go many places anyway.”
“This isn’t going to just go away if you ignore it, Jillian.”
“I know that,” I snapped. “But I have way too many other things to worry about right now. Things that actually are important, like my thesis and finding a job.”
And with that, I unzipped my laptop case and pulled my computer out. I brought up my e-mail program and impatiently waited while it opened, only to find no reply from my professor. Dammit, I thought but reminded myself it was for the best. I still had plenty of time, and the weekend wasn’t over yet. I closed my laptop and pushed it aside.
“All right,” I said to my sister. “What are we making for dinner?”
“Grilled pork chops, strawberry salad, and veggies. Start cutting up the strawberries, please.”
I smiled to myse
lf as I took the red berries from their plastic package and dumped them on the counter. They reminded me of Lincoln and Valentine’s Day.
“I don’t even want to know why you are grinning like a fool at the strawberries,” Rebecca said. “Did he really tell his dad his world would end if anything happened to you?”
My smile grew bigger. “Yeah. He did.”
Rebecca lightly bumped her hip into mine and smiled at me. “So lucky.”
“I know,” I told her while still smiling. I was lucky to have him. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and took a close-up picture of the red berries. I sent it to Lincoln with a heart, knowing he wouldn’t get it until after practice. But that was okay. He would at least know I was thinking about him.
~~~~~~~~
“Mm… I could get used to this,” Lincoln said as he lay next to me in bed, breathing hard.
I had woken before Lincoln again the next morning, only this time I managed to not rouse him as I crawled from his bed. I slipped silently upstairs and made breakfast for my man. He didn’t wake until I sat down on the bed with the tray of food. He proceeded to devour the scrambled eggs and turkey sausage before he had me for dessert.
I giggled as I tried to calm my own breathing. “Used to what? Morning sex?”
He laughed. “Well, that too.”
“Ooh, you meant breakfast in bed.”
“No, actually. But that was good too.” He rolled to his side and curled up tight against me. “I meant having your full, undivided, attention for the whole weekend. I don’t want it to end.”
I rolled over and cuddled against his chest. “I’m sorry. It’ll get better soon. I promise.”
“I told you before don’t apologize for spending time on your thesis. I’m so proud of you for working so hard. I just want you to know that I cherish spending time with you.”
“I know, baby. I cherish time with you too. Once I present my thesis, things will get better.”
“Until you find a lab and start working.”
“Well, we’ll just make it work. I’ll still be less busy than I am now.”
He was quiet for a long time. “What if—” He stopped.
“What?”
He shook his head.
“Tell me,” I insisted.
He sighed. “What if you maybe didn’t find a job right away?”
I furrowed my eyebrows and twisted so I could look him in the face. “I need to work, Lincoln.”
“No, you don’t.”
I exhaled sharply. “Yes, I do. I have bills and student loans to pay back. Do you have any idea how expensive grad school is? And I’ll need health insurance.”
“I could pay for all those things, Princess.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not a charity case.”
“I didn’t mean you are. I thought—” He sighed. “I just wanted you to know that we could have this all the time. We could wake up to each other every day. I’ll take care of you.”
“I can’t just sit here and wait for you to come home to me. I’ll go out of my mind.”
“Kennedy does it.”
“That’s different,” I argued, and he looked at me dubiously. “It is! They’re married with kids.”
“That’ll be us someday.”
“Yeah. And someday I’ll consider staying home. But for now, I need a job.”
“No. You don’t.”
I let out a frustrated groan and sat up, holding the bedsheet to my chest.
Lincoln sat up with me. “All I’m saying is just keep it in mind. It could be an option.”
“Not having a job is not an option. I didn’t work this hard on my research to just give up.”
“I know, baby. I don’t want you to give up.”
“Well, that’s what it sounds like you’re saying.”
He placed a light kiss on my bare shoulder. “I’m just going to miss this. That’s all. And I don’t want you to stress about anything. If it takes a while to find a job after graduation, I just want you to know I will take care of you.”
The stubbornness in my chest melted a little. “I know. I know you will. And I love you for that.”
“I love you too, Jillian,” he said and placed another kiss on my shoulder.
Chapter Thirteen
Lincoln dropped me off at home before heading to the airport for another stretch of away games. He wouldn’t be back in Chicago until late Wednesday night. Despite our minor disagreement this morning, I felt bad for so quickly dismissing his idea of me not working. Part of me loved the idea of surrendering and letting him take care of me, but a larger part of me knew that was a fantasy. It would never work in reality. So as he flew to Anaheim to face off with the Ducks tonight, I resolved myself to crack down on my job hunt while I waited to hear back from my advisor about my thesis.
I sat at our dining room table with my laptop open trying not to check my e-mail every five minutes. I was starting to worry why my advisor hadn’t e-mailed me regarding my paper, when finally my computer pinged with a new e-mail notification.
To: Jillian Thompson
From: Dr. Paul Rugger
Jillian, this is just a reminder. I need to see your latest draft of your thesis before you can submit it for approval. Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t sent me an update. I hope you are not falling behind. Please feel free to call or e-mail me with any problems.
I scoffed as I reread his e-mail. What was he talking about? I had just sent him an update three days ago… hadn’t I? I clicked over to my sent folder. A copy of the e-mail from Friday with my thesis attached was the first e-mail on the list.
I reached for my cell phone, desperate to sort this out. My advisor answered on the first ring.
“Dr. Rugger, this is Jillian Thompson.”
“Oh, hello. I’m glad you called. I just e-mailed you.”
“Yes. I just read it, and I’m a little confused. I sent you my latest draft on Friday.”
“You did?” he asked with a tone of surprise.
“Yes. I’m looking at the e-mail I sent you right now.”
“Jillian, I have nothing from you. This is the first I’ve heard from you in weeks.”
Worry prickled through me. “Is it okay if I resend it now?”
“Of course. You still have time if I find something you need to work on. I’ll read it as soon as possible.”
“Okay. Thank you. Thank you,” I repeated myself. I was slightly flustered. “I’m going to change one little thing and then send it to you.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he said in a friendly tone. Relief flooded through me. He wasn’t upset with my apparent lack of communication.
We hung up, and I frowned as our house phone immediately rang. It was never good when the house phone rang. Rebecca and I both had cell phones; the only reason my sister kept this number was for emergencies.
“Is this Rebecca Thompson?” an older woman asked when I answered.
“No, this is her sister.”
“Oh, Jillian, dear. This is Mrs. Mayberry from Saint Martin’s Elementary School.”
Uh oh. That was Tabitha’s school. “Hello, Mrs. Mayberry.” She had been the office manager at the school way back when I attended there. “Is something wrong?”
“Oh, yes. I’m afraid Tabitha is sick. We’re going to have to send her home.”
“Oh no. Okay, I’ll be right there to pick her up. Tell her I’m on my way.”
Ugh! What else could go wrong today?
~~~~~~~~
I parked my car in the visitor’s parking lot of the school and quickly jogged up the stone steps to the main entrance. I looked back toward the parking lot as I reached for the door and saw a dark sedan with tinted windows pull in and park on the other end of the small visitor’s lot. I didn’t know why, but something about that vehicle made me suspicious.
Squinting my eyes, I tried to see the driver, but the angle of the sun and the dark tint made it impossible. I worried for a moment about my car. The last thing I need
ed was to come out of school with my sick niece only to find my tires slashed again, but I assured myself I was overreacting. It was the middle of the day in a very public place. I’m sure no one would try anything here, so I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and ducked inside the school to collect Tabitha.
I checked in with Mrs. Mayberry and found my niece in the nurse’s office. Her face was pale, and her eyes were red as if she had been crying. I immediately scooped her up, and the poor thing nuzzled her head into my neck and held on to me tight.
“She’ll be all right, I think,” the nurse said. I couldn’t remember her name.
“Does she have a fever?”
“Yes. Very low grade. But she threw up twice while waiting for you.”
I sighed and rubbed my niece’s back with my free hand.
“Okay, thank you so much. Let’s go home, Tabby Cat.”
“Bye, Tabitha. Feel better soon,” the nurse said in a soothing voice while giving me a small smile.
Tabitha didn’t react to her, which was not normal. Usually she had such a bubbly personality. It made my heart hurt whenever she was sick and so downtrodden.
My steps faltered as I crossed the parking lot, carrying my niece. The driver of the dark sedan was leaning against his vehicle, facing the school, watching Tabitha and me. He was wearing jeans and a dark gray sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his head. Between that and his dark sunglasses, I couldn’t see his face very well, but he made my skin prickle. If he was a parent, why was he waiting outside the school in the middle of the day?
I got Tabitha situated in my car as quickly as possible before I got in the driver’s seat and locked the doors. I was just about to call the school to report this suspicious man when I looked in my review mirror and didn’t see him. I twisted around in my seat to get a better look when I saw his car leave the lot as he drove away. Very odd. But the incident was pushed from my mind when my niece let out a small groan from the backseat. Time to get her home.
I sped home as fast as I could, hoping her lunch wouldn’t make an appearance in the backseat of my car. Once we got home, I helped her change into pajamas and laid her down on the couch. Her eyelids drooped immediately as she rested her head on her pillow, and I covered her with some extra blankets. Hopefully she would sleep well and feel better once she woke.
