“Is?” Nick curled his fingers around her shoulder and played with her hair.
“Is be with you and figure out these past few days. No, I take that back. I’m not sure I want to figure them out. I simply want to find a way to make them last, to freeze the moments.”
“Things don’t ever stay the same, Halley,” Nick said. “But that doesn’t mean the future can’t be good.”
“Doesn’t it?”
Nick didn’t answer. He just pulled her close and walked on. Lord, she felt so good and so right in his arms. Loving her felt so right. Would he lose her? He didn’t think he could bear that. Not again.
His hold tightened until finally Halley wiggled beneath his fingers. “My Baron is certainly strong.”
He loosened his grip immediately, and his voice was rough. “I’m sorry, Halley. Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head and calmed him with a tiny smile. “I was trying to read the pressure of your fingers. I thought maybe you were sending me a message in code.”
“Maybe I was.”
She stopped walking and turned toward him. “What was it?”
He stared at her. Her rust-colored hair was blowing slightly in the breeze and was outlined majestically by sunlight. Her breasts bounced slightly beneath the jersey, and her smile tugged at something so deep inside him that he found it difficult to speak for a moment.
“Nick?” she asked softly.
His fingers played with her waist. His eyes sought hers. He didn’t think he’d ever say the words again, but then he hadn’t in his wildest moments dreamed that a Halley Finnegan existed for him. “I love you, Halley. I don’t have any right to, but I love you.”
“Does one achieve a right to love? A license?” She lifted her hands to his shoulders, and her chin tipped upward. “I love you, too, my Baron. Very much.”
Her eyes closed as his lips met hers, but Nick’s remained open, absorbing every small detail of her.
Halley pulled away, and when she spoke, her voice was husky with feeling. “And now the postman can say the handsome rogue was molested by that brazen Irish hussy, Halley Finnegan. And we’ll be even.”
They walked to their cars and parted, the words between them already taking on a shape of their own. They’d said it, “I love you,” and now what? Halley wondered as she sat still in her car and watched Nick drive off. It was like a third party, a presence between them that they’d given life to, allowed to be. What would it do, now that it was?
“Halley,” Nick said the next day, “I’m sorry to do this, but I’m not going to be able to come to dinner as I promised.”
His voice sounded tired, Halley thought. Is that what “I love you” does? Tires you out and makes you break dates? “All right, Nick—”
“I’m sorry, my love, I want very much to see you, but …” He paused as if he wanted Halley to fill in the gaps and tell him why he couldn’t see her.
“I understand, Nick. But I will miss you.”
Miss you. The words screamed at Nick. That didn’t begin to explain the way he felt. His whole body ached for her, needed her to soothe it, make it whole again. She’d given life to parts of him that were dead, and they needed constant, second-by-second nourishment. Nick pressed one hand against his temples and tried to stop the throbbing. “I … I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you, Halley.”
He replaced the phone and checked his watch. It was still early afternoon. He’d take the whole day, try to put his life in order. Could he put his life in order in a day?
Within an hour he was on the highway, headed toward the country. The sky was a deep violet with only a smattering of clouds that looked like cotton stretched across a painted landscape. When he looked up at it, he could almost hear Halley humming and see the sparkle in her eyes that the beauty of the sky would light there.
Stan and Abbie Melrose’s estate was vast and sat alone at the top of a rise in the forested countryside. He’d always loved it out there. He and Anne used to ride bareback through the woods for hours and hours, but now, when he drove by, the image of Anne didn’t shout at him and tear him apart; it merely was, and he wondered if Halley liked horses.
Anne. She would have wanted him to love again; he knew that. She’d even like Halley, although their worlds would never have brought them together. She wouldn’t have wanted the devastation that filled him, absorbed him completely, when she died, but he hadn’t been able to help it.
He parked the car at the edge of the drive and walked up the familiar steps that had become a pattern in his life. Stan was coming out of the library when he walked into the spacious entry hall.
“Nick, good to see you.” He glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner. “Earlier than usual, but that’s good, very good. You know, we’re both thrilled you’re managing to drop in a bit more frequently these days.” He smiled warmly and led the way into the living room. “Abbie’s been resting, but she’ll be down presently.”
“Is she ill?”
“Old age, Nicky, my boy. It happens to the best of us, I’m afraid.”
Nick looked long into Stan’s lined eyes. They were aging, he and Abbie, and he hadn’t allowed himself to see it.
“Nicky!” Abbie Melrose slowly walked into the elegant living room, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him.
Nick was at her side in a second and kissed her cheek affectionately.
“Before you say one single word, I want to set a date with you.”
“Sure, Abbie, what gives?”
“I want you to bring Halley out, Nick. I very much want you to.”
Nick sat down on a brocade sofa and leaned his arms on his knees, his eyes focused on the swirl of color edging the Oriental rug in front of the fireplace. “You do, do you?”
“Yes, Nick.”
“I can’t fool you, can I, Abbie? Never could. You know exactly how I feel about her, don’t you?”
“I don’t know about the ‘exactly,’ Nick, but I could hazard a guess. I like her very much. She’s natural and sweet and kind. And she obviously loves you.”
Nick managed a half smile.
“And you love her …” Abbie Melrose’s voice was thin, but there was a strength behind her words.
Nick saw the emotion expressed in her face, and he felt it fill the air.
Nick nodded. “How about if I bring her out next weekend?”
Footsteps in the hallway caught the attention of all three adults, and they looked toward the door as a large woman in a gray dress filled the space.
“Nanny Jenkins, you’re right on time,” Abbie said pleasantly.
“Ma’am, Mr. Melrose, Mr. Harrington.” She nodded politely to each person, then stepped aside for her charge to enter.
A small girl dressed in a pretty sailor dress and tights, her black hair flowing down her straight back and her eyes large and luminous, walked slowly into the room.
“Nell—” Nick started to rise, but the little girl politely walked over to him instead. She placed one hand on his knee, lifted herself on tiptoe, and carefully placed a kiss on his cheek.
“Hello, Father.”
Eleven
“Hello, Nell.” Nick reached for her and pulled her up onto his lap.
Abbie smiled over at her granddaughter. “It’s a beautiful day, Nell. What would you like to do with your daddy?” She was looking more and more like Nick, Abbie thought, with those dark, smoky eyes and thick black hair. But she had her mother’s lovely skin, a tea-room complexion, smooth like fine porcelain. She was a beautiful little girl, and Abbie’s heart swelled with love every time she looked at her.
Nell smiled. “Horses?”
She was so shy around Nick, it pained Abbie, but it was understandable. She hardly knew him. That pained Abbie even more. Nell needed a father, and Abbie wondered how much longer it would take for her to get one. There was a note of hope, however. In the past few weeks Nick had been out to see Nell several times, and that was so far out of the ordinary that even the servants had noti
ced.
“Why don’t I take her out alone?” Nick said.
Abbie glanced at Stan in surprise, then looked back at Nick. “Certainly, Nick. Why, that’s a grand idea. It’s a little chilly for us out there, anyway, I should think.”
Stan winked at Nell. “You show your dad around, sweetheart. I don’t believe he’s seen the new barn yet.”
Nell crawled off Nick’s lap and looked over at her nanny, who was still standing quietly in the doorway. “ ’Bye, Nanny. I’m going with him.”
Nick watched the tiny child carefully. She lisped a little when she talked; he’d never noticed that before. He wondered what other things he’d never noticed. There were probably hundreds. He thought of Mickey Sullivan skipping across the fields at the Thorne Estate, and Bridget’s mob of kids chattering and laughing with bright eyes, their pockets full of cookies. Did Nell chatter and laugh? Maybe when he wasn’t around, which was nearly all the time, and when she was with her grandparents or her nanny.
“Ready?” He smiled down into the child’s serious, dark eyes.
“Yes,” she said softly, again with that hint of a lisp, and she reached with small, curled fingers for his hand.
Hours later, over a dinner served on an elegantly set table beside wide French doors, as they watched the sun set over the hills behind the house, Nick suggested to Abbie that he bring Halley for dinner the next night, rather than waiting until the weekend.
Abbie and Stan thought that was a wonderful idea, and Abbie insisted that she could call Halley herself to arrange a time.
Nick drove home with the windows open, speeding down the nearly empty highway with the moon hanging ominously above him.
Both his mind and his heart were full to the point of pain. There were so many things to sort out, to put in place, and overriding everything was the intensity of his love for Halley Finnegan and the fear that he might lose her.
How could Halley, who drew children to her like a magnet and loved them so unquestioningly, whose whole upbringing was based on dishing out love to anyone who needed it—how could she ever understand him giving up his own child for others to raise, suspending his love, living in a vacuum?
Perhaps if she had known from the beginning … But it hadn’t been an issue then. It hadn’t been relevant, not until now. Not until his life focus had shifted from mindless distraction to loving. To loving Halley. To bringing Nell back into his life.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow it would all get sorted out.
“It’s important, Nick. You know that, or I wouldn’t ask you to go. Your presence there will make all the difference.” The older man pressed his hands on the edge of Nick’s desk and leaned forward.
“I know, George.” Nick sat back and ran one hand tiredly through his hair. Even Halley’s voice on the telephone before he went to bed the previous night and her enthusiasm over Stan and Abbie’s dinner invitation hadn’t been enough to entice sleep. And the last thing he wanted to do that day was fly to Chicago to work out bank problems. Hell, he was having enough problems handling his own life.
“The meeting is first thing in the morning. We can be back here by late afternoon.” George looked at him carefully. “And whatever is causing those wrinkles in your forehead, Nick, I sure hope she’s worth it!”
Nick half smiled. “You can bet your fortune on it, and I guess I’d better call her to tell her our dinner date is off.”
George chuckled. “Don’t worry, Nick, if she’s as terrific as that look on your face indicates, she’ll be here when you get back.”
Nick nodded and reached for the phone as George walked out of the room.
Halley hid her disappointment as best she could. “Well, at least I know you really have a job,” she said jokingly. “There were days there when I seriously doubted it.”
“You thought I was a plastic playboy, that’s it.” Just hearing her voice brought a peace back into his life. He leaned back in the chair and pretended Halley was standing in front of him or, better yet, sitting on his lap, making those small wiggling movements.
“Never plastic, my Baron, not you. A playboy? Well, perhaps.”
“Halley?” Nick’s voice dropped suddenly.
“Yes?” It almost startled her, this sudden shift in tone. His voice was thick and edged with emotion.
“I love you very much.”
Halley bit down on her lip. Archie was standing just outside the open office door fixing a broken shade, and she was sure the sparks that shot through her would send him in with a fire extinguisher. She was hoping that not seeing Nick for two days might calm the fires and replace the desire she felt for him with a more manageable, respectable emotion, but it hadn’t worked. Her love for him was a wild, uncontrollable love. She knew now what people meant when they talked about lust. Yes, she lusted after Nick Harrington! She pressed her legs together and spoke softly into the phone. “Nick, if you knew what you were doing to me, you’d hang up and get over here immediately.”
“The closet?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I wish I wish I could.” His throat was tight.
“Me too.”
Nick didn’t want to hang up. It didn’t matter what they said, as long as he knew she was there at the end of the phone line, as long as he could hear her breathing and feel the smile in her voice. “I’ll let Abbie Melrose know we’re not coming, and we’ll go this weekend instead.”
George knocked on the door and motioned that the cab was there to take him home to pack, and then to the airport. “Halley, I have to go.”
“Don’t worry about Abbie, Nick. I’ll call and tell her. May the wind be at your back, my love.”
She hung up and felt an insane desire to rush to the airport and surprise him, or maybe hide inside his suitcase. No, she thought, scolding herself, librarians didn’t do such things. Now Rosie, she might do that. Halley laughed as she shuffled through some scraps of paper, looking for the Melroses’ phone number. Maybe in another life she’d come back as a Rosie and have all the fun. Then her thoughts turned to Nick and she decided she’d settle for exactly what she had at this moment. For however long it lasted. She dialed the number.
Neither she nor Nick had talked about the future, or what followed after saying “I love you.” And Halley hadn’t pushed it. She didn’t want to disturb the incredible joy Nick’s love had brought her, didn’t want to rock the boat … so she pushed all threatening thoughts away, including the nagging, relentless suspicion that although Nick had given her his love, there were still important parts of his life he hadn’t begun to share with her.
A prim and proper voice on the phone announcing the Melrose residence broke into her thoughts.
Halley’s voice tumbled across the line. “Hello. May I please speak to Mrs. Melrose?”
The maid announced that the Melroses were not available, but she would be pleased to take a message.
“All right, thank you,” Halley said. “Please tell them that Nick Harrington and Halley Finnegan will not be—” A sudden idea struck her and she paused in mid-sentence, reorganizing her thoughts. It was short notice to cancel out for dinner. Besides, she’d be moping around all night thinking about Nick, so she might as well be with people close to him. It might be just what she needed to put to rest those irrational suspicions about the man she loved. Furthermore, Abbie Melrose had been so warm in her invitation that Halley was certain it would be all right.
“Ma’am?”
“Oh, yes, excuse me. Would you please tell Mrs. Melrose that there will only be one of us coming for dinner tonight, rather than two as she expected? Thank you.”
The drive out to the Melrose estate was beautiful at dusk. Muted shadows fell across the lovely, sculptured hills, and trees and houses were backlit by the glow of the setting sun. Halley thought of Nick the whole time, wondering if it was difficult for him to drive past these same lovely pines and giant oaks, wondering if at every turn of the curling road he thought of Anne and the times when they must have made the drive t
ogether.
She wondered and she hurt for him, but she felt no twinge of jealousy that he had loved Anne so much. It was too honest a love for her to envy.
She reached the Melrose estate just as the sky gave way to stars and moonlight, and with a feeling of anticipation she turned into the long, wooded drive.
Stan Melrose opened the door himself.
“Halley! What a nice surprise. So you made it, after all. We were told only Nick was coming, but this is wonderful.”
“Oh, Stan, I’m terribly sorry. I think there was a misunderstanding.” Halley’s hand flew to her cheek.
Just then Abbie Melrose walked into the room, her frail body supported tonight by a slender cane she carried in one hand. “Halley, darling, hello.” She kissed Halley on her cheek. “And where is our Nick?”
Abbie shook her head apologetically. “I’m terribly sorry, Abbie. There was a misunderstanding. When I called to say that only one of us was coming, I meant me. Nick had to go to Chicago and asked me to cancel. But I decided impulsively to come along alone. I hope I haven’t created any problems.” Her eyes moved from one to the other.
Abbie smiled kindly. “Of course not, dear! We are thrilled to see you. It will give us all a chance to get to know each other better. Come into the living room and sit.”
Halley had just turned to follow Abbie’s petite figure across the hall when a movement on the curved staircase caught her eye.
“Why, hello,” Halley said softly, looking into the most beautiful dark eyes she had ever seen. Instinctively she walked to the stairs and got there just as the small girl reached the bottom step. Halley crouched down until her eyes were level with the child’s, and smiled warmly.
“Oh, Nell.” Stan turned around just then and spotted her. “We have a friend we want you to meet.” He was beside them in a minute, his face beaming. “Nell, this is Miss Finnegan. Halley, this is Nell.”
“Nell.” Halley reached out and took one small hand in her own. “What a beautiful name you have. I’m so pleased to meet you, Nell.”
The Baron Page 14
