by Liwen Y. Ho
He didn’t have the best track record when it came to relationships; that was the one area he lacked faith in. Maybe marriage wasn’t in God’s plans for him, but every cell in his body wanted what his parents had. If only he could have the good, happy parts and not the hard, sad ones. But seeing how close his mom and dad had gotten over the years, how struggles had built up their trust, he knew you couldn’t have the ups without the downs. If only he could find a woman he felt safe enough to go through all of this with.
Had Lucy found that with John? Sitting directly across from them, he had a prime spot to observe their interactions. If anyone needed a visual explanation for the term “PDA”, Lucy and John would be it. It was a wonder they could eat, considering the amount of time they stared at each other instead of their plates. Oh, but it did help that they were feeding each other.
“That’s good, isn’t it?” John remarked about a tofu dish.
“Hmm,” Lucy nodded as she gave him a bite from her plate. “Try this one.”
Micah stuffed some chow mein into his mouth and wondered if they were eating the same oily and salty Chinese take-out meal he was. Had their portions been enhanced with something besides MSG? Endorphins, perhaps?
The conversation around the table quieted for a moment and Micah’s mom jumped in to fill the void. He had noticed her eyeing the happy new couple as well. As a marriage and family therapist, his mom took interest in relationships of all kinds. She motioned to Lucy and John. “So, tell us, how did the two of you meet?”
Lucy flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder as she exchanged a smile with John. “Do you want to tell the story?”
“You do it. You have a better memory than me.” John wrapped his arm around her shoulder and winked.
“Your memory’s fine, just a bit selective,” she teased. Turning to everyone, she explained, “John thinks we met on a Friday, but I’m sure it was a Monday because I never wear heals on Fridays.”
“I only remember the important parts,” John chuckled, “like the fact that you had a Grade One ankle sprain.”
“A sprain which you treated so professionally, I might add.” Lucy stared into John’s eyes and added, “You have very skilled hands.”
Seriously? Micah winced, feeling his gag reflex kicking into gear. He only had himself to blame for this lovey-dovey business. “Those darn four-inch heels.”
Lucy glared at him, the look on her face a cross between annoyance and surprise. “I met John at the hospital,” she explained to the others at the table. “He treated my sprained ankle after I tripped on the stairs at school.”
“She was my favorite patient that day,” John quipped. “I couldn’t let her go without asking her out. A woman this special doesn’t come into your life for no reason. God opened the doors for me and I’m so blessed she said yes. My life hasn’t been the same since.”
Soft murmurs sounded from Mrs. Choi and Mrs. Chan as they smiled their approval. The fathers nodded, but Micah had to admit he was relieved to see some skepticism in Mr. Choi’s raised brows. If Lucy was his daughter, he’d be alarmed, too. They barely knew each other, but she had already fallen for John—hard.
“Young love is so fun,” Mrs. Choi mused. “Not that old people don’t know how to have a good time. It’s just different.”
“It’s a more carefree kind of love,” Micah’s mom chimed in, “the foundation every couple needs to sustain them when they face hardships later. I always tell my clients how important it is to remember the how and why you fell in love. It’s a story you should keep close to your hearts and never grow tired of telling.”
Micah scowled. Why in the world were their mothers, especially his, tossing around the word love? She was off duty now; she didn’t need to be giving marriage advice to Lucy and John. They weren’t even close to marriage, to loving one another … were they? He didn’t know why the thought bothered him. He’d always known Lucy would grow up and not need him like she used to. She’d meet a man who would take care of her like he had.
An unsettled feeling weighed on his chest. He wanted to blame it on heartburn, but he had barely taken a bite of his dinner. The pot-stickers he loved eating just didn’t taste good today. Maybe it was because he didn’t eat them the same way he had as a kid—filling first, skin after—but as an adult he had put those childish ways behind him. He released a long breath. It was also time to leave his childish ways of thinking. He couldn’t take care of Lucy forever.
Scooting his chair back, he stood up with an apologetic smile. “I think I’m gonna head home. I’m not feeling so hungry right now and I have some paperwork to catch up on. Thank you for dinner, Auntie Sam, Uncle Lucas.”
The mothers fussed over him before letting him carry his dishes and chopsticks to the kitchen. He had placed them in the sink and was turning to leave when Lucy’s dad walked in. Even without his police uniform and detective badge on, Mr. Choi carried himself in a manner worthy of respect … or fear. That’s why Micah had avoided being alone with him a decade ago. Back then he had made some immature, regretful decisions. Worse yet, he’d gotten caught. Thankfully, he had earned Mr. Choi’s trust in the years since.
“Hey, Uncle Lucas. Thanks again for dinner. Sorry I can’t stay.”
Lucy’s dad waved his hand as if dismissing Micah’s words. “I understand. Before you go though, I wanted to ask you”—he lowered his voice—“what you think of John. Lucy seems to really like him. It’s not easy for me to watch them. It’s a little much for me.”
“You too, huh?” Leaning against the counter, Micah crossed his arms in a sign of vindication. “It’s too much too soon if you ask me. Someone should talk to her about taking it slow.”
Mr. Choi sighed. “You know Lucy. She doesn’t listen to anyone, especially not her old man. John seems like a good guy though from what I can tell. He kind of reminds me of you.”
Even tonight both he and John wore similar button-down shirts and dark jeans. “I’ve heard that before.”
“I’ll be honest,” the older man continued, “I don’t like to admit my little girl is twenty-five now and able to make her own choices, including choosing who she wants to date. I wish I could take care of her forever, but I can’t. Part of being a parent is learning to let go.” He narrowed his eyes at Micah. “I get the feeling you’re having a hard time letting go, too.”
Micah shrugged. “I know she’s not a kid or teenager anymore, someone who needs me to look after her. She’s a grown woman. A strong, successful one.” Sweet and fun and gorgeous, too. His chest tightened. Wait, where did that last thought come from?
“I suppose it’s time we let Lucy live her own life,” Mr. Choi pondered out loud. “We can be there for her when she needs us, but we need to play a different role.”
“Yeah.” Micah had to force the word out. The last thing he wanted was to change his role. He had vowed to be there for Lucy, but she obviously hadn’t promised the same. John had replaced him, not just in her life, but in her heart. The realization crushed him in an unexpected way. Perhaps that’s why he had never gotten close to a woman. He’d had girlfriends, but no one he had wanted to settle down with. All these years he thought he’d avoided commitment because of how his parents’ separation had affected him. But it was more than that.
The realization hit him, plaguing him like a fly that had been buzzing in his ear for years, but one he’d ignored. A foolish, yet hopeful yearning settled in the pit of his stomach. Could it be? The fierce protectiveness he had for Lucy, the annoyance and disgust he felt seeing her dote on John … these were all symptoms of something. For a counselor who was so good at analyzing others, he had an awful time understanding himself. But now that he was being honest about his feelings, he knew what was wrong. He had a serious condition that affected his heart in the worst way. Whether there was a cure or not, he didn’t care. All he knew was this: No one could take Lucy’s place. He was—and always had been—in love with the girl next door.
Caution
/> May, 9 years ago
Lucy
Lucy plopped onto a white leather couch in the hotel lobby and kicked off her high heels. The well-lit area was empty except for a woman at the check-in desk and a uniformed bellhop. Hiding out in the bathroom for the past hour had worked in her favor; everyone she knew had left, including her girlfriends and their dates. Several of them had offered to take her home, but she had declined. The evening was already bad enough without having to be a third wheel.
Dialing her cell phone with one hand, she wiped away her tears with the other. Traces of black mascara from her palm stained her shimmery lilac gown, but she didn’t care. Junior Prom was over and so was her love life. Her date had dumped her, and the worst part? He hadn’t even kissed her yet.
Come on, pick up!
“Hello?”
She’d never been so happy to hear that familiar male voice, one which had grown considerably deeper the past year. Tonight, it sounded groggy and a little annoyed. Was Micah sleeping already? No matter. He always came through for her. “Mikey! I need a ride. If I don’t make it home before midnight, my dad’s gonna freak.” The only reason she was even out this late was thanks to the GPS tracker app her dad had installed on her phone. She could almost feel his virtual eyes watching her every move. If she didn’t get moving soon, he’d call his cop buddies to come get her. And that would be more embarrassing than her current predicament. “Can you come get me?”
“I just fell asleep,” he grumbled. “What happened to your date? Doesn’t he have a car?”
“Brett spent half the night dancing with other girls! I told him I’d find my own way home.” Fresh tears burned Lucy’s eyes. “I want to go home. Please.”
“What a jerk.” He sounded more awake now, angry even. “I don’t want to say I told you so ... but I told you so.”
“I know, I know.”
“The guy sounded shallow and conceited. I have no idea what you saw in him.”
That made two of them. “I should’ve listened to you.”
“Yep, you should’ve.”
She rolled her eyes, hating how satisfied Micah sounded right now and how wrong she’d been. “I’ll say it: you were right. I should’ve looked at his character and not his looks, like the Bible says.”
“Well, at least you know his true nature now. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way what’s best for us.” His tone softened with his next words. “Okay, don’t move, Luce. I’ll be right there.”
“Thanks, Mikey.”
True to his word, Micah showed up twenty minutes later. He entered the hotel in a pair of faded jeans and a black T-shirt, his eyes scanning the area. She waved to him, relief flooding her weary body. With her silver strappy sandals in hand, she ran to him, not stopping until she was in his arms. Her face buried in his chest, she let her tears fall freely. When she caught her breath, she murmured, “Thanks for coming.”
He rested his chin on her head as he held her. His fingers toyed with her hair, which had been in an updo earlier, but now fell around her bare shoulders in loose curls. “Anytime, Luce. I’m glad you called me.”
Sniffling, she pulled back to smile at him. She found she had to crane her neck to meet his gaze. At nineteen, Micah was taller than her male classmates ... and more muscular, too. It’d been a semester since he’d come home from college and he seemed older, more mature. She felt grown-up next to him, or maybe it was because of her dress. The gown’s halter top led down to an open back where Micah’s hands were caressing her. Did he see her differently, too? He had grown quiet, his dark brown eyes sweeping across her face and down her body. He suddenly released her, leaving traces of warmth on her bare skin where his fingers had been.
“You look ... amazing,” he faltered, almost as if he couldn’t catch his breath. “Your dad let you leave the house looking like this?”
“Nope,” she smirked, “he was still at work when I left.” Her shoulders dropped in disappointment as she remembered her evening. “But it doesn’t matter how I look. Brett didn’t care, and the prom was a total flop.”
“What he thinks doesn’t matter. You may not believe it now, but not all guys are like him. Someday you’ll meet a guy who will like you for you, regardless of what you’re wearing. Someone who won’t leave you for another girl.”
“At least you’re not a jerk. I bet college boys are so much more mature.”
Chuckling, he swung his arm around her shoulder and led her out of the hotel. “That’s not always the case. I think most guys don’t grow up until maybe their mid or late twenties. I just happen to be the exception.”
“Okay, I take it back,” she ribbed, elbowing him in the side. “College boys are definitely not more mature.”
“Hey, don’t forget who dragged himself out of bed to come drive you home.”
“Fine,” she obliged with a smile, “I guess you have your moments.”
He opened the passenger door for her, then took his seat behind the driver’s wheel. He turned on the heater when she started shivering. Lucy leaned back in her seat, feeling content for the first time that night. She turned toward him, gazing at the profile that had grown more angular and defined over time. Yup, Micah was definitely more of a man than Brett. And manlier than any boy at school. Her pulse raced as she zeroed in on Micah’s mouth. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? She had the perfect accomplice for her plan.
“Here we are.” In a matter of minutes, Micah turned into their court and parked on the street in his usual spot. The adjoining sidewalk led to both of their driveways and up to their houses, which were dark except for the porch lights. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the door. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”
She grabbed his arm to stop him from exiting. “Hey, Mikey? I know something that will make me feel better now.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“I need your help though.”
“Huh? What are you thinking?”
“I was hoping to get my first kiss from Brett tonight, but that’s not gonna happen now. Do you think”—she wet her lips—“you could kiss me?”
He paused before he began laughing, his hand over his eyes. When she didn’t join in, he quickly sobered up. “Do you realize what you’re asking? You want me to kiss you?”
“Yes,” she nodded adamantly. She couldn’t make out all his features in the darkness, but she heard the shock in his voice. Was the offer that horrible? “Is there something wrong with me? Why does no guy want me?”
“No, Luce, that’s not it.” He took her clenched hands and held them to his chest. “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re an amazing girl—er, woman. Any guy would be lucky to have you in his life.”
“Then … why won’t you kiss me?”
He released her hands into her lap, giving them an awkward pat. “You’re like my sister. I don’t want things to be”—he paused—“weird between us. A kiss is a big deal, especially your first one.”
“But I’m sixteen and I’ve never even kissed a boy. It’s embarrassing. I’m sure you had your first kiss by now.”
“I, uh—it doesn’t matter what I did.”
“So, you did have your first kiss before you were sixteen,” she accused, crossing her arms. “I knew it. Even you got a girl to kiss you.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asked with a bit of indignation mixed with humor. “Even I got a girl to kiss me? Is that so surprising? I happen to be a very good kisser.”
“Ha,” she scoffed. “Thinking so doesn’t make it so. If you’re so sure, why don’t you prove it? Kiss me.”
Laughing, he shook his head. “You’re smart, Luce, I’ll give you that. You’re not going to let this drop, are you?”
“Nope.” Not when he was so close to giving in.
He threw up his hands. “Fine, I’ll kiss you. But just a short one. And just this once.”
“Yes!” Lucy raised her hands in a small victory dance. “Thank you, Mikey! You’re the best big brother an
yone could ask for.”
“Okay, that’s a weird thing to say right now. Let’s just do this.”
She sat up and leaned forward until she was a couple of inches away from his face. The smell of soap filled her senses, and with it a scent that could only be described as masculine. Her palms grew cold and clammy even while her cheeks felt blazing hot. Maybe this was a crazy idea after all. But how else would she get her first kiss? Her dad forbid her to date and the one time she got to go out with a boy, he dumped her. This was the only way. And thankfully, the safest way. Micah would be gentle and patient with her like he always was. “So, which way do I lean? I mean, do we both go to the right or the left and do we keep our mouths closed or—”
“Definitely closed. And the right is fine.” He nodded with a wry smile. “Don’t think so much. Just close your eyes and I’ll find you.”
“Okay.” She did as he said, squeezing her eyes shut and holding herself still. Her heart was pounding so hard, she was sure he could hear it. What if she fainted? But not before she got kissed. There was no way she was going to miss—oh! It was happening! One of Micah’s hands was under her chin, tilting it up. Next, she felt his warm, minty breath tickling her lips right before his mouth landed fully on hers.
Wow, he wasn’t kidding. He was a good kisser. His touch was so soft and tingly, it spread through her entire body like a ray of sunshine … or a beam of light? Even with her eyes closed, she sensed a bright white light cutting through the windshield. What was that?
Micah pulled back, breaking off their kiss with a light smacking sound. It was barely audible compared to the pounding coming from the passenger side window.
