by Nour Zikra
I couldn’t move either. My heart shook inside my chest. There should have been a kinder ending to Reed’s fate. Addy must have thought the same. She must have imagined a whole future where her brother grew older, made a man out of himself, had a family of his own, and stayed by her side. Reed’s fate, we now knew, was twisted, and certainly not kind.
She stared into the distance, her eyes blank and wet, and her mind seemed to go elsewhere. Her arms held on to Reed’s body as though worried that if she let him go, everything would become real.
“Addy.” I touched her cheek, though she didn’t respond.
Michael tore one of his golden feathers from his right wing and handed it to me. “Father is proud, I am certain.” Then he shot into the air, his golden wings flapping.
Epilogue
ADELAIDE
My new—used—car’s tires shuffled, and I reminded Adriel he needed to shift the car into drive first. “You’re doing it all wrong!”
“Am I?” He grinned at me and leaned in for a kiss.
I’d been teaching him how to drive for the past three weeks, now that the weather was starting to warm up. While he was getting the hang of it, sometimes he reverted to the ways of the caveman. Either that, or he was just messing with me. I had a suspicious feeling that might have been it.
I smacked his arm and laughed. “It’s going to take forever before you actually get to drive me somewhere, but that’s okay. I like driving.”
After another half hour of the driving lesson, we headed back to the apartment. We’d tidied everything up since the near apocalypse almost six months ago. But the furniture wasn’t the only change around here. Since killing my double and Lucifer, I’d stopped feeling restless and managed to get my home design ideas organized, and had even worked on several projects—more than I’d ever been able to before—with Melissa, who had overlooked my behavior when all hell literally broke loose. Among the many changes I’d made, a magnet now held a photo of Reed on the fridge door. His face stared back at me, and that was all it took to bring the pain back.
I slipped past Adriel and made my way to our room. The disheveled bed with the new mattress called out to me. I dove into it, wrapping the comforter around me, and shut my eyes. There were days when I thought of Reed incessantly with hollowness in my chest, and there were days when I pretended he was still at Saint Vincent College. It was easy to believe he’d walk right into my apartment one day with arms wide open.
“Addy,” Reed’s voice called out.
I sat up and looked around. The gate to hell stood in place of my door, which meant I was dreaming.
“Addy.”
I heard him so clearly that even the air seemed to carry the warmth of his breath toward me.
“Reed?” I called back.
And then he came into view. He stood to my right, a smile stretching across his lips. The hazel in his eyes twinkled, full of joy.
“Hi,” he said, reaching to touch my face.
On his back were two large wings, their feathers white. At first, I thought this was all in my imagination, but the warm touch of his hand on my cheek told me otherwise.
“You’re an angel.”
He nodded. “I’m your guardian angel.”
I jumped off the bed and threw my arms around him. “I’ve missed you so much! I’m so sorry you died.”
My weight lifted from the ground, and I realized Reed had picked me up in his famous bear hug.
“I’ve been here by your side this whole time, Addy, and I’m staying here. Except when you need a little privacy.” He let out a chuckle and set me back down. “I’m happy where I am. I have a purpose.”
I stroked the beautiful feathers of his wings and sighed. For the past few months, I’d known he was in heaven. The fact that I had gone there myself helped me come to terms with his death. Still, seeing him made a world of a difference.
“I didn’t know humans could become angels.”
“They can’t.” He tore a feather from his wing and closed my hand around it. “I was an exception.”
With a kiss on my cheek, Reed disappeared. I woke up, finding myself still in bed. To my surprise, a single white feather lay in my palm. After studying it for the longest time, I took it to the kitchen and put it beside Reed’s photo on the fridge.
“Hey.” Adriel embraced me from behind, his cheek against mine. “I didn’t want to wake you up. Are you feeling better?”
“I just needed to fight my inner demons.” I tapped the feather. “But I’m feeling much better.”
He planted a kiss on the side of my head and steered me into the living room. “I’ll slay your demons any day, love.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. Memories from my childhood popped into my head. Grandma Di reading me a story before bed. Reed and I making blanket forts in our rooms. Erica coming home in the dead of night and bumping into things, the smell of booze on her breath when she’d snatch Reed and me from bed and order us to make her food. I couldn’t forget those things, neither the good nor the bad, but I could learn to live with them.
“Hey.” Adriel swept my hair back while his other hand rubbed my shoulders. “Nate and Lizzy invited us over for dinner.”
“Oh?”
“They want to celebrate moving in together, but only if you’re down.”
“Of course I’m down. I’m happy for them.” I’d said those words a thousand times over the past few weeks, but this time I truly meant them. Even my smile came naturally.
It took me a minute to freshen up and change clothes. Before Adriel and I stepped out of the apartment, I had to ask him one question, since Reed’s appearance got me thinking about everything that had happened. “What if someone else comes along and tries to mess with the world like Lucifer did?”
He tilted my head toward his, the corners of his lips stretching upward. “Then people will have to choose whether they’ll stand with the good or with the bad.”
For the rest of the evening, Adriel’s words haunted me. I kept thinking about my own choices. When faced with a choice, I’d stood by my brother against the world. Choices weren’t always fair, and angels couldn’t always heal people from death.
“Is everything okay?” Lizzy asked at the dinner table, her eyes on me.
Adriel squeezed my knee.
I smiled and raised my glass. My champagne was full of bubbles and a promise that the next hour would be great. It would be joyful and mark the start of a new life.
“To Lizzy and Nate,” I said. In my head, I added, And to a world of fair choices and people courageous enough to do what’s right. I sensed Reed smiling my way.
Acknowledgements
Where would this novel be without the help of the amazing people backing me up? There is one specific person who I wouldn’t have been able to complete this story without, and that is my boyfriend, Michael. Not only was he my thesaurus whenever I suffered from “the tip of my tongue” syndrome, he also went above and beyond in keeping me sane, helping me plot this novel, and staying up with me into the wee hours of the night just so I could figure out how to torture my characters some more. There is no one as amazing as you, my love. Thank you!
Of course, I cannot go on without thanking my family. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving me life and then letting me soar as a writer despite how rocky the road appeared at first. Thank you to my cousins Karin, Aboud, and Haya for being some of my first supporters in my writing endeavors. Your excitement during my writing process means the world to me. I’m so lucky to have you all on my team.
A huge thank-you to my editor Courtney Rae Andersson for taking my masterpiece and making it dazzle. You treated my baby like your baby, and for that, you deserve endless orders of free yummy pizzas.
Crystal Watanabe, a big thanks for being my go-to proofreader. You and your editorial team deserve an enormous cake.
I want to shout a big thank-you to Claire and Chris Luca
s over at Eight Little Pages for designing my gorgeous cover and doing the lovely interior formatting. This book is mesmerizing at first sight because of you. I cannot thank you enough!
A very special thank-you to Lable for taking the time to read my novel and guiding me in the development of characters for many hours on the phone. You have been a wonderful mentor and friend, and I’m very lucky to have your support.
To my friends, Andy and Caitlin, for reading my novel, giving me the nicest, funniest, and most authentic feedback, and encouraging me to get published. You guys rock!
To my best friend Christina for always encouraging me to be true to myself despite hardships. I so appreciate our long conversations and friendship.
This book would also not be complete without Isa’s amazing creative support. She is such a brilliant artist. I’m so thankful for her help, whether in designing character art for my book, creating posters for me, or encouraging me throughout the publishing process. You are an amazing friend, Isa!
Last but certainly not least, a big, fat shout-out to all my readers. I would not be here without you. You are all very dear to me, and I’m so thankful for your support!
About the Author
Nour Zikra graduated summa cum laude from the University of Central Florida with a B.A. in creative writing. She is a YouTube host of a writing advice and humor series. Born and raised for the first decade of her life in Aleppo, Syria, she moved to America in 2004 and currently resides in Orlando, Florida. When Nour is not writing or reading, she makes kissy faces at her turtle, binge-watches shows on Netflix, and endlessly decorates her writing space.
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