“Ackhem.” Franklin cleared his throat. “Who’s hungry?”
I pushed back, my knees coming in contact with the couch. We weren’t alone. I felt like such a fool to even consider kissing him. Emerson brushed his knuckles along my jaw. It was an innocent touch, one he’d done a thousand times before, but this time it felt different somehow.
“Let’s go eat,” he suggested.
I sighed and smiled, following everyone to the kitchen.
After the amazing dinner Franklin prepared – who knew the guy could cook? – everyone returned to the living room. Brianna had made her appearance near the end of dinner, completing our usual group. It was weird, for the first time I didn’t feel like the odd man out. With Franklin there, we were all coupled, even if not really coupled. It was nice to not be the fifth wheel.
Gretchen and Tyson curled up together on the loveseat lost in their own love bubble. I sat on one end of the couch, while Franklin sat on the other end with Emerson between us. Brianna has plopped herself on the floor in between Emerson’s legs. We all chatted about nonsense.
“Let’s watch a movie,” Franklin suggested.
“As long as Emerson and Sloane don’t pick, I’m cool with that,” Brianna agreed.
“What’s wrong with me picking?” Emerson popped off.
“You and Sloane always pick those stupid, old movies that no one but you two get.”
Emerson and I looked at each other in shock. “They’re classics,” we bellowed.
“They’re boring.”
Franklin laughed. “I didn’t think anyone but Em would watch those.”
“Nerd girl does,” Brianna sneered.
“Hey, watch what you call my best friend,” Gretchen snapped, pulled out of her love bubble only for a moment.
Emerson smirked. “Yeah, what she said.”
“How about Ferris Bueller?” Franklin suggested. “Everyone loves that one.”
Brianna groaned. “That’s an old one, too. Can’t we watch something with action in it?”
Franklin patted her on the head. “We all need a good laugh, don’t you think? Besides, it’ll appease the old souls over here.” He thumbed toward us.
What they didn’t’ realize was Emerson and I had watched that movie a million times and could quote it line by line.
Franklin jumped up and put the movie in. The television flashed on and suddenly the room was shrouded in darkness. The only light came from the television.
No one said a word as we watched the movie. All joking subsided in the darkness. I could barely hear the sound of the TV over the sound of my own heartbeat.
I didn’t have to look over to the loveseat to know that Tyson and Gretchen were making out. More than likely, Emerson and Brianna would want to do the same thing, so I moved to get off the couch to give her my seat. My actions were halted by Emerson’s fingers wrapping around my wrist.
“Where are you going?”
I looked down at Brianna who was still perched between Emerson’s legs but was looking up at Franklin.
“I figured I would give my seat to Brianna, so you two could…” The words caught in my throat. I thanked God the lights were off. I really didn’t want them to see the tears forming in my eyes, which was silly. There was no reason for me to feel like crying, yet I did.
“Brianna, is just fine where she is. Sit back down,” he demanded.
Emerson tugged hard on my wrist, ungracefully pulling me back onto the sofa. I landed on top of him with a thud. He had one hand still on my wrist but in trying to prepare for my fall, his other hand went up in a protective manner, effectively landing on my chest.
I suddenly felt his thumb slide across my nipple through my t-shirt. I looked in his eyes and even in the dark I could see something flash there that I hadn’t seen before. My nipple hardened at his touch and I could swear he moaned as he rubbed thumb over it again. I struggled to move off him, fighting the sensations that threatened to overtake me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“No, it’s my fault. Sorry,” he croaked.
I looked down to see Brianna staring at me. I knew she had seen the whole thing, and I was utterly humiliated. I had spent so much time trying to make sure she never thought I was out to steal her man, and here I was practically throwing myself at him.
It took all I had not to vomit. Instead, I managed my breathing, moved as far away from Emerson as I could, and chanted to myself that it was just an accident. No harm was done.
When the movie was over I excused myself and left for my father’s house before anyone could ask me what was wrong.
I spent the rest of my Christmas break at home, too afraid to go anywhere near Emerson. Not that I had a choice. When I wouldn’t go to his place, he came to my dad’s.
Things were tense at first, but after a while, they back to normal as if nothing happened. He never questioned why I wouldn’t come to him, nor did he ask the reason for my sudden unease about going to his house, which was fine by me. He simply came over, hung out, which allowed me to find my comfort zone. Before I knew it, we were once again Emerson and Sloane, partners in crime.
The New Year rolled around, and we returned to school. Everything was falling in line for me scholastically. I received my acceptance letter to med school. Emerson beamed with pride when I opened the letter, almost as if he’d received it himself. That felt wonderful, but there was something different between us.
I wasn’t the only one who felt the difference. Things between Brianna and Emerson were off balance. Every time I turned around they seemed to be fighting, and not about me, though I realized I was often the crux of their arguments.
Two weeks back into school, Emerson came over to study with me. He was unusually quiet, and I knew something was bothering him.
“Em?”
He looked up from his book with a glazed expression on his face. “Hmm?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I reached over, placing my hand over his. His eyes shot up to meet mine. The agony within ripped my heart in two.
“You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
Slowly he pulled his hand back from mine. “You don’t want to hear this.”
I licked my lips and sat up straight. “If it’s bothering you, I want to hear it. If only to help you get it off your chest.”
He inhaled deeply. His eyes clamped shut and his brow furrowed, he exhaled. “Brianna wants to have sex.”
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I assumed they were already having sex, but to hear him say it aloud made the situation all too real for some reason. I swallowed hard. “Oh. I see.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” Emerson tore his fingers through his hair. “Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Now was the time to put aside my childishness. I could do this. All I had to do was imagine I was talking to Gretchen. “No, I’m your friend. If you can’t talk about that with me, who can you talk about it with?” I attempted a laugh, that only came out sounding like a baby walrus dying. I shook my head and continued, “It just took me by surprise. I figured you two were already…” I waved my hands around as if that might get my point across.
A somber smile eclipsed the playfulness of his tone. “Sloane, I’m still a virgin.”
I damn near choked on my own tongue. I thought I was the only twenty-two-year-old virgin left in the world. “You lie!”
Emerson laughed. Truly laughed. “Nah. It’s the truth.”
“How is that even possible?”
“Um, I haven’t had sex.” He said each word so slow, I felt almost stupid for asking.
“Sorry. I figured a guy like you…I don’t know.”
“I’m not like I’m saving myself for marriage or anything. I’ve done stuff with girls.”
“What kind of stuff?” I blurted out, smacking my hand over my mouth as soon as the words passed my lips.
That little outburst warranted
me a smile. “You know.”
I nodded, pretending I did. Gretchen had told me enough for me to get the gist. “But you never have actually had sex?”
“I’ve never found that one I wanted to go all the way with.” He shrugged. “I guess I’ve been waiting for the right girl to come along.”
That stunned me. “And Brianna isn’t that girl?”
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his hands over his face, releasing a heavy sigh. “What I do know is before Christmas she was perfectly fine with waiting. Now she keeps trying to stick her hand down my pants.”
I clapped my hand over my mouth, laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Emerson demanded.
I stifled my laughter immediately. “Nothing. It’s just…well…this sounds like something a girl would be upset about. Most guys are ecstatic when a girl wants to put her hand down their pants.”
He leaned back, his intense stare meeting mine. “And you know this because of personal experience?”
I bit my lip, unsure what to say next. I dropped my eyes, unwilling to continue meeting his gaze.
“Sloane? How many guys have you been with?”
Emerson slid his hand across the bed toward mine, barely touching me. I could feel the heat of his skin burning hot near me, but never touching. I wanted to reach out for him but resisted the temptation.
“I see,” he muttered when I failed to respond.
Not too long after that he left, and the topic was never mentioned again.
The weeks went by and things seemed to get worse between Brianna and Emerson. There were days when they wouldn’t talk to each other at all. Emerson spent most of his time with me, and it killed me to see him so miserable. I did everything in my power to make him smile, and when he was with me alone, he did.
February, my most dreaded month was upon us, and of course, Valentine’s Day was all anyone could talk about. Gretchen and Tyson decided rather than celebrating in the traditional way this year, they would throw a Valentine’s Day party at our place.
Great! Just what I needed. A bunch of drunk idiots at my apartment, celebrating the worst day of the year.
Two days before the party, I sat in Tyson and Emerson’s kitchen listening to Gretchen and Tyson go over all their plans for the event. Gretchen constantly asked my opinion, but I barely heard her. Instead, I was focused on what was happening in the living room. Emerson and Brianna were tearing into one another, again. The sheer agony on his face killed me. I couldn’t fathom how she could have such a wonderful guy, one who wanted her for more than her body, yet she treated him like dirt.
Brianna’s arms flailed around dramatically, and Emerson turned to see me watching. I jerked my head away and returned to Gretchen and Tyson’s conversation. Brianna stormed out of the apartment, and Emerson went to his room. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him, but my legs wouldn’t move. So, instead, I left with Gretchen, never having spoken to him.
I went to bed that night but couldn’t find sleep. I tossed and turned. No position felt comfortable. Several times I reached for my phone, ready to dial Emerson, but refrained. If he wanted to speak to me, he would have called by now. Guys were like that. They needed time to process shit. I understood.
A knock at the front door pulled me out of my revere. I dragged myself out of bed, unsurprised to find Gretchen undisturbed. That girl could sleep through a tornado.
“Sloane,” I heard Emerson hiss through the door. “Sloane, please open up. I need to talk to you.”
“Emerson? What are you doing here?” I whispered.
“Open up, will ya?”
I twisted the deadbolt and opened the door. He stepped inside, but I almost didn’t recognize him. His hair was a mess, his face forlorn, and his clothes wrinkled. The expression on his face screamed in agony. He walked right past me and landed on the sofa with a thud. I sighed, and took a seat on the opposite end, keeping a good distance between us.
That wasn’t good enough for him. He scooted down to me and pulled me into the crook of his side. I rested my head to chest, as I had so many times before, and listened to the rampant sound of his heartbeat.
“Sloane, I have to know something.”
“What’s that?”
“Actually, you don’t have to answer, but…”
“You know I’ll always tell you the truth.”
He nodded, his body rigged against mine. “How many guys have you been with?”
That so wasn’t the question I had expected. “I beg your pardon?”
“You’re right. It’s none of my business. I’m sorry I asked. Please disregard the question.”
I shifted so I could meet his eyes. Gently, he stroked my cheek with his knuckles. I closed my eyes, relishing the touch. “Emerson…”
“Shh.” He moved his hand to my hair, slipping the rubber band from my ponytail. This was something he had never done before. His fingers fanned my hair over my shoulders, running through it gently. It felt so good to have him touch me so intimately, but that guilt shot back through me.
“Emerson…” I repeated.
His free hand moved so quickly, pressing a single finger to my lips.
His face inched closer to mine, the heat of his breath washing over me like a spring rain. Soft, tender lips brushed along my jaw, kissing me ever so softly. I closed my eyes, my breathing erratic, as his lips made their way to the corner of my mouth.
This was it. My very first kiss. It was everything I imagined, and so much more. Actually, it wasn’t. He was with Brianna. No! I couldn’t allow my first kiss to be tainted like this. I deserved better. Emerson deserved better. Hell, even Brianna deserved better.
I pulled back, ripping myself from his side.
“I think you need to leave.”
“Sloane, Brianna and I…”
“No, Emerson. You need to leave. Now.”
“If you will just let me explain,” he pleaded.
“Please,” I begged, standing up from the couch and crossing my arms over my chest.
My heart shattered into a million pieces, but I was doing this for us both. I couldn’t allow myself to be hurt again, and I cared too much about him to allow him to be hurt as well. He was better than this. We both were.
Without another word I watched Emerson leave. I heard his car start, and I when I was sure he was gone, I crawled back under the covers and cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, I avoided everyone. Rather than ride with Gretchen, I drove myself to school. I wouldn’t take a chance of running into Emerson, even if that meant avoiding my roommate. And I succeeded, until the end of the day. As I walked out to my car, I noticed Emerson approach Brianna in the quad. He said something to her, and they started laughing. I hadn’t seen them do that in weeks. The pain in my chest was almost unbearable, but at the same time I was glad to see him smiling again. Emerson was a good guy, and he deserved to be happy.
From the distance, Gretchen and Tyson approached them. Since I was avoiding everyone, I ducked around the corner, certain they hadn’t seen me. They would walk right past me, and I could make a beeline for my car.
That was the plan anyway. Sadly, it was not the execution.
Instead of walking past me, they stopped in front of my hiding spot. Talk about being pinned between a rock and a hard place.
“So, you’re telling me that she’s never been kissed,” Emerson asked in disbelief.
“Never. Not once. She’s never even had a boyfriend,” Gretchen replied.
“How is that even possible? Is she gay?” Tyson inquired.
Gretchen chuckled and slapped Tyson on the arm. “I used to think so, but she never made a play for me, so out when that theory.”
Tears swelled in my eyes. They were talking about me. My two best friends were making fun of me.
“Maybe you’re not her type,” Brianna suggested, laughing.
“I’m everyone’s type.”
“There’s something terribly wrong with that girl. Who’s ever heard of
a twenty-two-year-old woman having never even been kissed before?” Tyson blathered.
That was all I could take. A sob broke past my lips, and I tore into a run. I pushed past them, uncaring of anything they had to say.
“Sloane! Damn it! Wait!” Emerson called out after me.
I didn’t wait. I ran. I ran to the parking lot, searching for my keys in the process. By the time I got to my car, I had them out and ready to go. I pressed the key fob, but the car didn’t unlock. This couldn’t be happening. I pressed it again and again, jiggling the handle, but it wouldn’t budge.
“God dammit!” I screamed. Here I was again, letting a boy get the better of me again. It shouldn’t matter that they were laughing at me. It was my life. Fuck them!
Footsteps resounded behind me. I felt him before I turned around. Long fingers landed on the car around my head, as I spun around to meet Emerson face-to-face. He pressed his body against mine, effectively blocking me from running.
“Listen to me,” he growled.
I gulped. His face inched closer to mine. “Brianna and I broke up yesterday. That’s what I was trying to tell you last night, but you didn’t give me the chance.”
Confused, I blinked. “What?”
“It’s over, Sloane. I couldn’t be with her when I’m in love with you.”
“I don’t understand,” I whispered, unable to breathe.
“Then understand this…”
His lips came crashing down on mine. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He moaned against my lips sending sweet vibrations down my spine. His tongue traced my lips, effectively parting them. He tasted so good. Ambrosia mixed with honey. The perfect nectar, making me hungry for more.
My mind whirled as if I were in a dream. This couldn’t be happening. But it was.
“It was always you,” he whispered against my lips. “I should have had the balls to ask you out the first day we met, but I thought you weren’t interested.”
I pulled back, aghast. “Not interested? Are you crazy? How could I not be? I figured you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me.”
“What do you mean?” His nose trailed along my jaw.
My Geeky Valentine Page 9
