“We will stay the course and you will stop acting like whiny ass punks. We are only three now and we cannot just let it go. Would you not want your own death honored and revenge sought? This is how it has to be.”
They did not realize that this code was the glue that held their fragile little world together.
Marshal and Jimmy nodded their heads. They were there for the ride and would do whatever Billy wanted. They knew what was what. They just needed some reminding that there were some things that just had to be done. And they knew how to do them. They had done it before after all.
“Hell Billy, we are with you man. Just want to find this bitch so we can get back home is all.”
“I hear ya brothers. I am ready to get in bed with the old lady too. Soon guys, very soon. They can’t be that far ahead now.”
Billy took his leather jacket off and hung it on a nearby tree. The laughing skulls on the back stared back at him. He reached out his hand to touch the symbol from the past that had started it all. It had become inseparable from his memory of his father.
***
Michael was finding it harder and harder to keep his relationship with Jessa on a platonic basis. He was literally finding it harder and harder, he thought wryly. I mean, it was ridiculous, he thought. She obviously dug him, and he dug her. He could feel it! So why weren’t they getting together? It was maddening is what it was. He found himself purposely walking slower so he could get behind her and shamelessly watch her ass as she moved. He was reduced to acting like some high school kid. Milo even began to notice and nudged him a couple of times as to say, “What are you waiting for?” Of course there was nothing to say. He could not force her into something she wasn’t ready for, even though there were moments where he could see flashes of lust in her eyes as well.
Shaking his head to clear out it all out, he decided to focus on talking to the chatty five year old striding to keep pace with the adults next to him. The kid’s blue eyes positively glittered as Mike told him about how the world was once full of machines that did virtually every task you could imagine. They made a game of “Was there a machine to do such and such? Was there a machine to do this? To do that?” The kid never tired of it. It was amazing to see how enthralled the boy was about things that he himself had learned to take completely for granted once upon a time. Of course machines did not run as they once did, and when a machine did run, it was more often for a completely different purpose than originally intended. With roads in disrepair and the difficulty in maintenance and procuring food, cars were just a hindrance and barely any of the hunks of metal on the roads were kept drivable at this point. If a person was lucky enough to find a vehicle that worked, there was little chance of getting anywhere with the clogged throughways anyhow. Besides, even if the motors could be salvaged, the tires would be rotten. A community would be lucky to have the knowhow to have one motorized truck or vehicle. Motorcycles were a little more useful in that at least you didn’t have to worry about the roads so much. Still the tires were a pain. Without the infrastructure, even the simplest machines were a headache. For those reasons many just preferred walking. Some of the more established communities had horses.
Shane dreamed of machines and was always talking to Jessa about ones that he wanted to build when he got older. Now he had a whole new source to talk to about engines and batteries and gears, instead of about plants and cooking. It was bittersweet for Jessa. She was thrilled to see Shane so happy. Being around Michael he had just lit up. She could almost see him soaking in everything about Michael. He just hadn’t had any male figures to emulate since her husband died a few years ago. But that was the thing. She had always seen her husband as the one who would be that model for Shane. She could still see Kraven’s face every time she looked at Shane. It was hard to put it aside. She had at least stopped trying to find excuses to get away from Michael. She knew it wasn’t his fault, and she knew he was a good man. But she wasn’t sure that she was ready to say she was all in either. She could make herself be ready. But she also realized that if she pushed him away again, he would most likely be gone for good. She was torn, to say the least, though Shane didn’t seem to have any problems committing.
For now though, this was all just so much mental clutter. They needed to stay together for their own safety. Everyone knew the score it seemed and they had all agreed to head south. This is what Jessa told herself as she felt his gaze linger on her ass yet again. Every time she looked behind her, his piercing blue eyes were waiting for a sign. They both knew it was going to happen, though Jessa was holding out as long as she could. A yes to him would be giving up the last of the control that had kept her safe thus far.
“What do you think? Does this look like a good place to stop for the night?”
His question woke her out of her thoughts and she looked back at him first, before looking at the small overgrown house on the hill ahead of her. She shrugged her shoulders and started walking up the weed-filled pebble walkway.
“Shane, stay out here with Milo for a minute until we make sure this place is safe.”
Shane nodded his head in agreement. This had become their new way of doing things and seemed to work out well. Milo was well suited for the role. He was an expert “hider” and if danger approached that would be their best line of defense anyhow. Meanwhile she and Michael were very adept at checking the houses for any danger. The system worked out well.
Jessa went in behind Michael and after checking every room, the two waiting outside were brought in. Then the windows and doors had to be secured, as well as the never-ending hunt for useful things. By the time the group was back in the living room with what they could find, the sun had been down for an hour. Jessa liked that Michael was so thorough. They were a lot alike in that way.
“So what did you come up with Shane?”
Shane had found a little toy car that he proudly showed off.
“Well that is pretty cool buddy,” Michael affirmed.
Jessa caught herself happily noting how Shane lit up at the appreciation. Dinner was made over a small fire by a window and included some wild greens picked on the way. Jessa broke up a couple of her famous travel cakes and added it all to a pot. The combination actually turned into a pretty okay tasting stew. She was running out of herbs she realized and needed to be more vigilant in spotting them along the way. They would need to do some foraging pretty soon anyhow to restock on their food supplies.
The house was larger than it had first appeared from the road and everyone got their own room. Shane and hers, as well as Michael’s were upstairs, while Milo was staying downstairs in the Master Suite. It just seemed fitting. Even though he was just a kid, and a kid who hardly looked long for this world at that, he was in also in many ways the heart and soul of the group. Besides, when they asked him if wanted the master suite, you would have thought he had just won the lottery judging by the smile that had spread across his face. His health seemed to be improving already, now that they were away from the city, but Jessa could tell that he was having trouble keeping up the pace. She had actually dragged her own feet in sympathy with him, just to get Michael to slow down a bit. She had found that men had a way of treating everything like a race.
Safely tucked in for the night, it wasn’t long before Shane was asleep in a nice soft bed and softly snoring. The house was in a good spot and offered an excellent vantage point from which they could surveil the surrounding area. Some would just say it had a nice view.
The moments of rest and reflection were few and far between these days, but on this particular evening as she looked up at the heavens she was able to appreciate one of the subtle benefits of living in the afterbombs world. With no electrical grid to speak of, and therefore no artificial light, the night skies stood out in an absolute glory that had been lost to many for the better part of a century. When she got high enough on a peak, or even a hill like this on a clear night, it almost seemed like she were surrounded by nothing but stars. It offered her a feeli
ng of connection to the universe and all really, to all life like nothing else. She sat on the grass as just stared up at the wide infinite expanse.
“I should have known I would catch you out here staring up. Are you hoping that some aliens on their way through our neighborhood will come down and save us?” he said as he sat beside her.
“Nah, I don’t think they wouldn’t want anything to do with this place after the way we fucked it all up.”
7
Jessa grinned in response to the weird look that comment had apparently elicited from Michael.
“Does that face mean you don’t agree?”
“Yea, I guess I can’t really argue with your assessment. It’s just that you have quite a way with words.”
Jessa giggled.
“I’ve heard that before. So are you going to tell me why you are here? With us I mean.”
Jessa’s green eyes held his this time, the mirth in her face having gone. Up until now she had been the evasive one, but she knew in her heart that she needed to face her feelings as well as her fears. This seemed as good of a time as ever. She was being serious and she wanted to make sure that he knew it. If there was going to be anything between them she needed to know where she stood.
“I think you know why I am here.”
“I mean, what do you want from me?”
“I think you know that too. I want it all. You know, it’s not like I just want to get off, Jessa. I think I’ve shown you that I really care about you. I am a patient man though, I can wait.”
Jessa shivered with the memories of his touch when they had last met. He had been patient at first, just as he said. But his passion for her burned just below the surface, and soon enough he had lost all that patience and control. The gentle man she saw before her now had been replaced with a rutting animal. She felt a blush run up her neck and tried to cover it with her hand. She knew that he had only acted on what they had both been feeling. And she knew that deep down, coming from him, she had liked it.
“Why do you deny that you want me just as badly as I want you?”
“I am not denying anything. I’m just not giving in to it right now.”
“Well, I would humbly venture that you might be a lot happier if you did. I can see the way you look at me sometimes. You remember that night just as well as I do, don’t you? We have something.”
Michael was getting closer and he touched her lips lightly with an outstretched hand. The touch made her lips tingle and she whimpered with the shivers that accompanied the innocent touch.
“I miss your lips. Can I kiss you Jessa?”
“Now you are asking?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, but just a kiss.”
Michael encircled Jessa with his arms, and while she was expecting him to try to suck her face off, she was moved instead by his unexpectedly gentle touch. It was so soft. She was the one who added the heat as her tongue slid in between his puckered lips. Her moan was swallowed up by his hungry mouth that quickly began to take over the kiss. They fell on their sides and then Mike’s body pressed hers hard into the grass as he rolled on top. When she pushed against him, he pulled back suddenly.
“Sorry. I kind of lose it when I get around you. I don’t want to push you away again.”
Jessa’s mouth throbbed with want and memory. Her insides were quivering and her nether region tingled, but she tried not to give in. Jessa’s heart was already involved, though she was trying to tell herself that she was in control of it. The longer she denied the craving though, the more it threatened to consume her completely. It was turning into a vicious cycle that more often than not left her on edge and battling a feeling of desperate yearning.
Guiding him off of her, and with as much poise as she could muster, she said, “I think I am going to go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow. We need our rest. Goodnight Michael.”
It was harder than she cared to admit, to walk away from him that night, and she spent hours in bed actually wishing she hadn’t. It was all she could do to not just get up and go into the next room to be with him. It was tempting, but Jessa did not trust herself to keep her head once she gave in. She couldn’t afford to lose herself right now.
***
Michael was having his own difficulties getting to sleep. His room seemed too big after having shared rooms with the others for so many nights. They were too far away. Most of all, of course, she was too far away. He couldn’t hear her breathing, or sense her just across the room, as he had grown accustomed to doing before he drifted off each night. He strained to hear a noise from the other room. Maybe she would come to him after all. There were no footsteps however. Instead, he imagined he heard a soft moaning from through the wall. Maybe he was just imagining it though.
It was a nice thought though, to think of her playing with herself only a couple of feet away. It was not helping him fall asleep though. He was almost sure now that he heard her. At least he knew that he had gotten to her. She would come around. Still he wanted to be the one giving her pleasure tonight, and making her moan. By the sound of things, she was just as frustrated as he was. He smiled at that. He was a patient man. But boy was it gonna be great when they finally got it on again, he thought as he finally drifted off. Luckily he was utterly exhausted from the long days on the road.
8
Jessa couldn’t sleep. All she could think about was Michael in the next room. Rather than toss and turn, she went to the covered window, peeling back some of the cloth to look up at the moon. It was large in the night sky, almost full by the looks of it. And it was beautiful. She stared out for several minutes, trying to clear her mind, but her thoughts always went full-circle back to Michael. And her body still ached for him. Shane was out cold in the second bed. The kid slept like a rock and she knew he wouldn’t stir ‘til morning. Of course it would be 5am, but still he was out for hours.
“Dammit.”
She knew it was useless. She would never get back to sleep, with her body insistently yearning for satisfaction. She sighed to herself and looked once more at the bed that she knew she should be in. She just couldn’t bring herself to get back in it. She was losing the battle quickly now. She was already accepting that she couldn’t deny her desire any longer.
Jessa opened her door slowly. She waited for the loud creek that would alert Milo or somehow wake Shane, but she was able to open it without any horrific loud noises at all. She tiptoed over to the room next to hers and paused with her hand on the door knob for what felt like several minutes. Jessa almost turned around, but instead just turned it suddenly before she lost her nerve. Here goes nothing, she thought.
Stepping into the room and closing the door softly behind her, she waited to see if she had awoken him. When he didn’t turn towards her or move at all, Jessa took the time to allow her eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room. When she could finally see, she walked towards the side of the empty bed. The closer she got to him, the more her insides shook in anticipation.
God, I need this. She kept thinking to herself.
Jessa started to pull her clothes off slowly, trying her best to be quiet. She didn’t want to wake him, until she was ready. He had indeed been very patient with her, and now she wanted to reward that patience…and reward herself. Jessa touched her soft breasts, pulling on the hard ends with her fingers. Her flesh was more than ready for him and when she finally slid in next to his warm body under the covers, she molded herself against him. He was wearing just a pair of briefs and his skin was hot against her night-air-cooled flesh.
She didn’t move for several moments as allowed her heart and breathing to settle down a bit. She wanted to just feel him against her for a little while. She could feel the swell of her breasts pressed against his hot back, her nipples tightening with anticipation. Jessa moved her arm to encircle his chest as he began to stir.
***
“God, please tell me this isn’t a dream.”
Michael whispered the words, mostly to himself as he felt
her warm flesh against his back. He had awoken when the door opened and though he had wanted to turn and see her, he was still afraid, even then of scaring her off again, so he had waited patiently for her to get up the courage to climb into bed with him herself. He was pleasantly surprised as he realized she was absolutely naked. Michael couldn’t suppress the groan that came out as her body pressed against him. Her arm went around him, grasping at his chest as she pulled tighter against him. Finally she was ready. Thank God, he thought.
If it was a dream, Michael did not want to wake up. He tried to stay quiet, afraid that any quick movement might ruin it…like when you spot a deer on a morning walk. He had already failed miserably though. It was impossible not react to her, especially since he had been waiting for her for what felt like years. He took the hand that was on his chest into his own.
“Are you awake?”
“I’m not sure.”
Michael turned towards her, his hands moving to her ass and low back as he pulled her hips to him as they lay on their sides. His lips met hers, but with even more insistence than before. He held her chin with one gentle hand as he pulled her closer. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, her eyes were shut.
TANK_Forsaken Riders MC Romance Page 76
