by Liz Matis
Would the photos have included him if he knew of Angel’s pregnancy? For the first time Billy asked himself what he would’ve said to O’Malley. As the jilted seventeen-year-old boy would he have accepted his responsibilities? Or would he have said exactly what O’Malley conjured up. Why didn’t Angel come to him herself or answer his letters? Unless she never got them. O’Malley must have intercepted them. But why? Her father seemed to like him, unlike Billy’s father who had done everything in his power to keep Angel and Billy apart.
Noticing an unframed picture on the end table face down, he picked it up and turned it over. The image of a beaming woman wearing a nurse’s uniform and holding a diploma confused him for a moment. Then he realized it was Angel with her glorious dark hair tucked under the cap. Returning to the living room she handed him a beer, looking grim she took the photo out of his hand and placed it back on the table, again face down. Why? She should be proud.
“You’re a nurse?” Billy took a swig of the beer. Yeah, he really needed something stronger.
Angel shrugged. “Yes, and no. I still have to take the licensing exam.”
Billy couldn’t help but be impressed. While he’d concentrated on making a name for himself in college football and then the NFL, Angel, with her dreams of being a professional pool player shattered, had raised a daughter, earned a degree, and no doubt did so while helping her father in the dive downstairs. In comparison his Liberal Arts education seemed uninspiring. His academics took a backseat to the game of football. He studied game films, dissected the opponent’s defense, and memorized the playbook. Too bad there wasn’t a gridiron degree. He hadn’t even finished college and in his junior year had declared himself early for the NFL draft. “When do you take it?”
“I haven’t rescheduled yet. O’Malley died the day before the exam.” She stepped around the recliner and peered out the window. “I have no money. It’s the only reason I filed for child support. O’Malley died two months ago owing everyone.”
“Gambling?” It wasn’t a question really, not even a guess.
She nodded. “This all belongs to—” Looking away from the window she swept her hand around in a mock gesture, but then dropped her hand to her side. “Well, it’s not important.”
Three generations of O’Malley’s had owned the bar. Angel would’ve have been the fourth in spite of arguing she’d rather die first. Billy’s father wasn’t the only one who thought she’d end up on a stripper’s pole whether she stayed or took off to Vegas. She may have remained in this downtrodden town, had a baby out of wedlock during her senior year of high school but didn’t end up a statistic and proved them all wrong by earning a college degree. That took fucking guts.
Time had only toughened the goth girl from the proverbial wrong side of town. She deserved so much more. So did his Gabriela. He looked to the wall of photos. The first few years of his daughter’s life had been a financial struggle, but Billy had the power to change all that. It was time for him to set things right.
Taking a deep breath, he readied himself for the big step he was about to take. Releasing the air out of his lungs, he turned back to Angel. The light from the street lamp filtered through the lace curtains creating a soft glow across her face. When does one fall out of love with one’s first heartbreak? Never.
So are you doing this for them or for yourself? A little of both, but a small part of him hoped he was doing it for the family they could be together. Another larger part thought he was an idiot. Drawn to her like a movie vampire to its female prey, Billy came to stand beside Angel without realizing he’d moved. Taking her hands in his he asked, “Move in with me.”
Chapter 4
“Hell no!” The hands that held hers felt like shackles instead of flesh. Angel jerked away and strode to the door, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.
She’d never depend on another man. Her father had either gambled away the profits or drank them. He lied to her over and over again. Billy was probably no different. She might need his child support. Herself, she could take care of just fine.
“I have a right to see my daughter.” Billy didn’t budge an inch.
Frankly, she didn’t care what his rights were but Gabby did deserve to meet her father and have him in her life that she did know. While never worthy of a corny Father of the Year plastic trophy at least O’Malley had stuck around, unlike her mother. That meant something. The void her mother left behind could never be filled. She didn’t want that for Gabby. Still, she wasn’t going to make it easy for Billy. “Sure, you can see her every other weekend.”
“You know that’s not going to work. I practice all week and play on Sundays.”
“You see? Already putting football above your daughter.” She couldn’t help the snarky tone lacing her voice.
“That’s not fair.” His fingers raked through his golden locks in frustration.
Angel remembered applying a lighter touch to his silky hair. Remembered how much she once loved him and how her father manipulated that love to convince her to set him free. Not that she’d ever tell Billy. “Believe me, I’m well versed in what’s not fair.”
“I know you are, Angel. Raising a kid on your own. Struggling financially.” He moved away from the window to pull her from the door and onto the battered couch. “Give yourself a break from all this. Help me to get to know Gabriela.”
The sound of her daughter’s name coming out of his mouth put fear into her heart. Would he try to take Gabriela away? He had the money to hire a team of lawyers. What did she have but a bar about to be foreclosed on by the mob? “Won’t we cramp your style?”
“My style?”
“Strippers, for one.” At least there was some ammunition she could use against him if he tried to sue for full custody.
“Keeping tabs on me?”
She didn’t like the teasing tone or the thoughtful look that followed it. “Hardly. You’re a media whore.”
“Ouch.”
“The truth hurts.” She mentally shrugged off her own irrational hurt feelings of seeing Billy surrounded by strippers.
“I’ll give you that one but I can assure you I don’t frequent strip clubs.” Reaching over he rested his hand on her knee. “Or bring them home.”
Their gazes met. Angel nearly choked on the emotion clawing inside her. And God help her, desire too. Did he ever think about their time together? And if he did was it just the sex he remembered? Damn, is that what he wanted right now? By the look in his eyes the answer was yes and she slapped his hand away. “Your supermodel girlfriend won’t be pleased.”
He laughed. “I don’t have girlfriends. You expertly cured me of wanting one.”
“Oh.” Angel didn’t know what to think about that. She scrambled for another reason to put him off this crazy idea.
“What about you? Is there a boyfriend?”
“No,” she said without thinking. Damn, that could’ve been a way to decline his offer. The smug look on his face pissed her off and she recovered with, “Nothing of a permanent nature.” Her remark hit its target and he dropped his gaze.
“Then there’s no reason for you to stay here.” He adjusted the cufflinks on his shirt. “I have three bedrooms if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She wasn’t concerned on that front. He’d have to wear a condom over his whole body before she’d let him make love to her. She wouldn’t take the chance of getting pregnant again no matter how much her hormones raged. The only fool proof birth control was abstinence, a state of being of which she was an expert. She wouldn’t be a woman with babies from multiple men. No way.
“Once Gabriela is comfortable with me, you two can get your own place nearby.”
“I can’t afford an apartment in New York City and what about the licensing requirements, they differ state to state.” Even then, her nurse’s salary could never compete with his money. Billy could give Gabby anything and everything.
Again she worried if he would eventually try to get custody. P
anic settled in her tightening muscles. She wasn’t sure if she should run or fight. Hell, even joint custody would crush her. She reminded herself this wasn’t about what she wanted, it’s what was best for Gabby and it always would be.
“I live across the river in New Jersey and I’ll pay for the apartment.”
“I don’t need a man—”
“Damn it Angel!” Billy stood and turned to face her. “You sued me for child support.”
True, but she wanted a check in the mail every month not the man. The foundation of lies her father built crumbled in an instant and she needed to decide based on her new reality. Still, she needed time to adjust. And space. “New Jersey is a long way from here.”
“Years ago you couldn’t wait to leave,” he said softly, almost in a whisper.
“Yes, I did.” She hated this town, hated the people in it who thought she was nothing but trouble and thought she and Billy didn’t belong together, including her own father. Right after graduation she was going to take off for Vegas and support herself hustling pool until she made the pro circuit. She allowed herself one more night with Billy and then broke his heart and in the process her spirit. Then she found out she was pregnant and though she was scared she held onto a secret hope that Billy would be happy. Stupid teenager.
Just because O’Malley lied didn’t mean Billy would’ve run to her rescue. He could act like a knight in shining armor now that he was rich and famous. Where was he when it counted? A fleeting moment of bitterness crept in. But she wouldn’t trade Gabby for all the money in his bank account. Gabby was her world.
“It might be too much. Her grandfather just died and believe it or not O’Malley doted on her.”
“Probably out of guilt.”
Angel’s earliest memory of her father was of him instructing her to call him O’Malley. As Papa, he offered Gabby piggyback rides and sweets. If he’d been this attentive when Angel was little, she didn’t remember it. Calling him Papa in front of Gabby gave Angel some solace to her damaged inner child.
“All I’m asking for is a chance to make things right.”
“Out of guilt?’ She threw back his words regarding her father against him. She had to know.
Billy knelt at her feet and took her hands in his. “The only thing we were both guilty of is being young.”
This time his touch soothed instead of banding like iron. The sincerity of his plea jump-started the inner workings of her heart creating an opening she thought she’d closed forever. Falling in love with him again would be so easy, but she needed to take her emotions out of the equation for her daughter’s sake. “Let’s see how Gabby reacts. If she is scared or the least bit apprehensive, you’ll just have to wait until football season is over.”
He nodded in understanding. “Gabby is her nickname?”
“Yeah, she’s a talker.”
He got off his knees and sat back down on the couch. “Tell me more.”
Billy seemed so interested that she was taken aback for a moment, but then she settled in and started telling stories about their daughter. He sat in silence, staring at the wall of photos. She supposed she’d gone a little crazy with the picture taking, but she wanted Gabby to know she was loved. Angel had exactly two pictures from her childhood.
The long day—hell, her life for the past six years—took its toll and she yawned. She snuggled into the blanket encasing her and a kiss feathered across her forehead. Almost like her and Gabby’s nighttime ritual in reverse. A sigh escaped her lips. She must be dreaming. No one had ever tucked her in.
*
The door slammed the next morning and she heard tiny footsteps approaching the couch. Angel played possum then sprung up and pulled her daughter into a tickle-filled hug. The sound of her little girl’s laughter made all the struggles and sacrifices worth it.
“Mommy, you’re silly. Why are you sleeping on the couch?”
“Did you have a good time?” She may have only been next door but Angel missed her baby.
“Yes!” A plastic pink tiara studded in clear rhinestones slid to the side of her head. “But I missed you. Where’s Lucy?”
Angel smiled at the image her daughter made in her pajamas but righted the tiara to proper princess protocol. “She’s in your room.” Angel watched as her little princess skipped off, wondering when Billy left and when he’d return. Maybe he came to his senses and ran off. Better now than later. As long as he sent a check, she didn’t care. Liar.
Angel curled up on the couch with the intention of catching five more minutes of sleep. Then Gabby’s scream filled the air. It was either Billy or a spider. As Angel sprung up she hoped for the latter.
Chapter 5
In the hallway Billy stood frozen in front of the pint-sized tiara-wearing banshee. Frozen in shock or terror he couldn’t say. Probably both. Seeing her smiling pictures was one thing but being confronted by the live screaming version was another. Should he pick her up? He moved to do so and the pitch of her scream reached a level that would shatter every glass in town.
Angel’s footsteps pounded on the hardwood floor. “It’s okay, Gabby.” Reaching their daughter, she scooped her up in a hug.
Sobs replaced the screaming. “Who’s that naked man, Mommy?”
Feeling like a complete shit for terrifying his daughter, he wondered if he was even father material. If the past thirty seconds were anything to go by he’d say no. Not only did he fail to comfort Gabriela, he scared her. If she didn’t have nightmares before this moment she’d probably have them now.
“He’s not naked, Gabby.” Angel’s intense gaze settled on his chest.
Billy fumbled for his shirt even as he reveled in Angel’s appreciative stare, proving that she wasn’t immune to him. After waking from a restless sleep on the recliner he’d stripped off the suit jacket, tie and shirt so he could wash up before leaving for his flight home. What was Angel going to say? Would she lie for now? She’d fallen asleep before they had a chance to talk about how to tell Gabriela.
“Sorry, she’s not used to having men in the apartment.”
He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. Happy not only for his daughter’s sake of not being confused by other ‘dads’, but that Angel didn’t have anyone special in her life. He reminded himself it didn’t mean she hadn’t found sex elsewhere and the smile he’d been fighting died on his lips. The thought of another man touching her brought out the beast in him.
Angel stroked Gabriela’s hair. “Remember when I said your father didn’t know about you and I couldn’t find him?”
She nodded into Angel’s rumpled blouse and mumbled, “You lost him.”
“Not exactly lost, but I did find him.”
Gabriela cautiously peeked out. God, she was adorable when she wasn’t screaming. Dark curls framed her chubby cheeks tinged with a rosy glow. Only the track of her tears marred her angelic face. But those tears he caused still watered in those blue eyes, ready to flow at a moments notice. Billy held his breath, waiting for his daughter—and she was his without a doubt—to pass judgment.
Wiping a cheek with a closed fist she asked, “Why do you have hair like a girl?”
Angel laughed.
Billy searched for an explanation suitable for a child. He remembered Angel’s fingers threading through its length. Countless women had followed in the years since. His hair had earned him big endorsement deals. “The Mane” as it was dubbed, flowed from the bottom of his helmet making him a household name. That and his lightening speed down the field.
His little girl, however, found him lacking. Wasn’t a daughter supposed to think of her dad as a super hero? “Gabriela, do you know the story of Samson from the Bible?”
She nodded, her curls bouncing with the motion.
“She goes to Sunday School,” said Angel proudly.
Of course she did. Despite the bar being a place where many an alcoholic or unfaithful spouse passed the time, the O’Malley’s were faithful churchgoers. “Well, that’s why I
keep my hair long.”
“Can I braid it?”
“Uh…” That wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. Apparently she wasn’t buying the Samson story. Braid his hair? He may wear it in a ponytail from time to time, but a braid? If the guys on the team caught wind of it, he’d never live it down.
“Pleazeeeeee.”
She bestowed a smile so stunning he instinctively knew it was some feminine trick she used to get what she wanted. Perhaps he’d catch on to this father gig quicker than he thought. However, knowing you were being played was one thing while actually having a defense against it was another. “Sure.”
Angel arched an eyebrow as Gabriela wiggled in her arms.
“Yay! Down, Mommy.”
As soon as Gabriela’s tiny feet hit the floor, she took his finger into her hand and led him to her room, which he recognized as being Angel’s old one. And now, with two beds, he realized it still was. With Gabriela’s bed decked out with a purple comforter and gauzy white pillows, it was clear that Angel did her best, but plans to spoil his daughter began to form in his mind.
His gaze zeroed in on the pink elephant settled amongst the other stuffed animals. Angel kept it?
Did she ever think about that night? He’d won it for her at the carnival that swooped into town. He spent twenty dollars before knocking down a trio of stacked milk bottles with a baseball but it was well worth the smile he received from the girl everyone referred to as a badass. Later that night they made love for the first time. Maybe fumbled in love would be a more accurate statement.
Now it looked as though the elephant belonged to their daughter. He wondered if Angel had wanted Gabriela to have some small piece of him. Did she hold it at night as she fell asleep? Now his eyes watered as he choked on the emotion flooding into his heart. What the fuck? He tucked the feelings away as he sneezed violently. Not tears at all but an allergic reaction to something in the room.
