Sammy; by Tootsie
1875-1931
Anna Lee died when Daddy was in his twenties, so he knew her pretty good, but I never did. His daddy, Sammy, now that was a character. Sammy was born in 1875, I remember that date 'cause it's on his headstone over in the cemetery and I read it when I go visit Catfish's grave. He was my granddaddy but we always call him 'Sammy,' not 'Granddaddy'.
When Sammy was about three or four—Mr. Van, he was probably in his fifties I'd say—the two met. Sammy was with his daddy in the barn while Samuel was milking ole Daisy. It was early, before daylight and Mr. Van walked in calling for George to saddle his horse. The way my daddy tole it, Sammy just marched right up to that tall, white man, stuck his arm out and said, "My name Sammy. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."
From that day Mr. Van, he took a liking to Sammy. Mr. Van would let Sammy climb up behind that man's saddle on his sorrel horse, named Bud, and ride with him in the fields. When the boy was about eight or nine, Mr. Van's mare had a foal, and he gave the pony to Sammy. He tole the boy he was in charge of that animal, that he had to take good care of it because it would be his best friend did he do a good job.
Well, Sammy, he would wash that horse down every evening and brush him 'til he glowed. And he'd comb the mane and tail and he'd feed that horse apples and pears and would sit there and crack pecans and feed the nut meat to the horse. He named that horse Jonesie, because he said the young thoroughbred, 'he looks like a Jonesie.' Mr. Van taught Sammy to ride that horse and sometimes the two of them would ride they horses in the fields together to check and see how the crops was growing.
One day they rode to town together. Mr. Van was in the Feed and Seed, and Sammy was standing outside watching the horses 'cause coloreds weren't allowed inside the stores in those days. Three white men came up on Sammy and one of them slapped Jonesie on the rump and yelled, and that horse razed up with his front legs in the air and almost tromped on Sammy. He had to let go the horse's bridle to keep it from coming down on him. Jonesie took off galloping fast as he could through the streets of Jean Ville, around the courthouse square and somewheres Sammy couldn't see.
Now, Sammy couldn't go after Jonesie 'cause he was responsible for Mr. Van's horse, Bud, so he stayed there outside the feed store and held onto Bud's lead rope, even while it was around the hitching post.
Those white men was laughing and spitting tobacco at Sammy's feet, and one of them started to slapping him upside the head; first one side, then the other. Sammy didn't do nothing 'cause he know he'd get in big trouble did he go against a white man. The man's slaps was getting harder and harder and then he hit Sammy's nose and it started to bleed. Then one of the other men whacked Sammy in his face and cut his cheek near his eye. Sammy tried to put his head down, and the men was slapping him on the head, calling him nappy head and Brillo pad and such.
Mr. Van walked out the store and saw the men beating on Sammy and Sammy just a’hanging on to Mr. Van's horse and taking the licking.
"What the hell?" Mr. Van stormed over to the men and pushed the one who was hitting on Sammy and he fell on the ground on his butt. The other two went to jump on Mr. Van, but he was too quick and pulled out his gun on them. "You might be safe hitting this boy here, but you try something with me and it won't go so well. I suggest you three haul ass if you know what's good for you."
"You gonna protect this nigga?" The man on the ground was yelling out.
"You three better get going, NOW." Mr. Van clicked back the hammer on that gun and the men started to back off. "You okay, Sammy?"
"Yes, sir. But they run Jonesie off."
"Don't worry about that horse. He knows where he lives. I'll bet he beats us home." Mr. Van got on his horse and reached an arm out for Sammy, who pulled hisself up and straddled behind the saddle, holding Mr. Van around the waist like he done many times when he was a boy.
They trotted home and, sure nuff, there was Jonesie waiting outside the barn. Sammy slid off Mr. Van's sorrel and ran up to that thoroughbred and it started licking Sammy and nudging him under his chin, like he was pushing him into the barn. Sammy got a bucket of water and the horse drank down half of it. Then Sammy poured the rest over his own head, washing the blood and dirt away.
He learned that day if you take good care of your horse, he'll come on home if he gets loose. From that day, Sammy never had to worry if Jonesie was inside the fence or roaming out in the field, that horse would be at the barn when Sammy got there.
Sammy used to ride Jonesie to church on Sunday, and he could leave that horse tied loose on the post and the animal would wait all day in the hot sun for Sammy to ride it home.
Now, Sammy, he had his eye on a girl at the church name of Mary. Mary was about twelve or so when Sammy started flirting with her, but she don't know nothing about flirt, so she would just play chase and pickup sticks and jacks and such with the other girls. When Mary turned fourteen or fifteen, and Sammy was helping his granny teach them children, 'cause he was about nineteen or twenty and could read and write good as anyone, well, Mary had learned about flirt and started to flirt with Sammy. He saw she might be old enough, so he axe her did she want to go for a walk. Starting that day, every Sunday after church and lessons, Sammy and Mary would walk Jonesie down to the Indian park and go sit on the banks of Old River and talk. Least that's what they say they was doing.
Tootsie had her chin down, her face turned to the bowl in her lap, but she lifted her dark eyes and looked at me out the tops of her lids, the whites of her eyes huge at the bottom of those inkwell pupils. Her look said, "I don't believe they was just talking.'" I laughed at her, and she went on:
Wasn't long that Sammy axed his daddy could he marry Mary and his daddy say you need to talk to Mary's daddy and if he say okay, you need to see about what Mr. Van says, 'cause if you bring someone to live here on his property, he need to approve that.
Sammy talked to Mr. Williams after church the next Sunday and he said it would be okay if Mary came here to live at Shadowland and marry my granddaddy. That evening after he got back from the Bethel Baptist, it was almost dark and Sammy went over to the big house. He'd been there with his daddy a few times to bring messages from the fields or to meet Mr. Van for a horse ride, but he'd never been there on personal business. Sammy was still in his Sunday clothes, his white shirt clean and his baggy black pants cinched at the waist with a belt made it look like a drawstring gathered up like a skirt 'cause he was so skinny and his pants was way too big.
He knocked on the back door and Bessie stuck her head out the cookhouse and axed what he was doing there at suppertime. Sammy said he'd wait 'til the Vans was finished eating, but he needed to talk to The Man. Bessie went inside the house, and Sammy thought she would tell Mr. Van the boy waiting. Well, an hour passed, and Bessie didn't come back. Then another hour. It was real dark by now, and the crickets was chirping and the frogs was croaking, and the mosquitoes was biting, but Sammy just sat on the back step of that house and waited. He must have fell asleep, 'cause next thing he knew the toe of a boot attached to a long leg was pushing on his side.
Sammy jumped up and was staring at Mr. Van, all dressed and holding his hat in his hand.
"What are you doing sleeping on my back steps Sammy?" The Man asked.
"I'm waiting to talk to you, sir."
"How long you been waiting?"
"Oh, since about six, I guess."
"Six at night or six in the morning?"
"At night. I came here after church, Mr. Van."
"Well, it's Monday morning, son. I guess you waited all night." Mr. Van started laughing and Sammy thought he was pulling his leg, but shore nuff, that boy had spent the night waiting to talk to Mr. Van and Bessie never did tell The Man Sammy was there. I guess he'd still be waiting if Mr. Van hadn't been leaving early that morning to go to Baton Rouge for a meeting.
Tootsie was laughing so hard it made me laugh too, just watching her. She rocked back and forth, lifting her
feet high off the floor, and when she'd rock forward, she'd push herself back hard and lean back until she was almost parallel to the ground. I was afraid the rocker would tip over backwards, but it never did, and she just kept pushing off hard and laughing at the thought of her grandfather spending the night on Mr. Van's back steps, determined to ask whether he could marry Mary Williams.
I thought about how, when two people love each other, like Sammy and Mary Williams did, nothing should keep them apart. I also thought about the cruelty towards black folks that dated back to when they first arrived on American soil. Would it ever end?
Tootsie didn't finish the story because Lilly came on the porch and Marianne got back from the grocery store, then Josh started the coals for the steaks she'd bought. I went with Mari into her house to put some potatoes in the oven and make a salad. Tootsie got Lilly and her two friends inside, gave them a bath, and dressed them for bed.
The three girls, all brown-skinned and pink-cheeked from running and playing, ate bowls of cereal and climbed in the bed in Marianne's sitting room, snuggled up and fell asleep. I'd never seen Lilly so happy, tired, and playful since before Emalene went into the nursing home. I was grateful that my little girl could have this carefree time.
*
Sissy came over the next day and was completely taken with Josh, and he with her. They got into comical banter, and it was the first time I'd seen the comedic Josh. Sissy brought it out in him and they became fast friends.
The three of us talked about how Daddy seemed to have changed, and even Sissy noticed.
"I think he got scared when he almost died." She was sitting on the steps of Marianne's porch and I was sitting next to her.
"He almost acts like he likes me; as if we never had problems."
"I think he realizes that he's lost Mama and Tootsie, and he needs you and me. Maybe he's trying to change." Sissy looked at me as if she wanted me to believe her; I wanted to try, but I just didn't know how to forget a lifetime of abuse. I wondered what Emalene would say about forgiveness if she were still herself.
"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself because un-forgiveness only hurts the person harboring it.” That’s what Emalene Franklin would say.
I wanted to give myself the gift of forgiveness.
Chapter Seventeen
***
'Til Death
I married Joshua David Ryan, MD, in a private ceremony in the chapel at St. John's with the campus priest officiating. Lilly was our bridesmaid and Joe stood up for Josh. He didn't bring his girlfriend and acted like the old Joe. He was happy for us.
It took some doing, but I was able to convince Marianne and Sissy to fly up for the occasion and they arrived on Thursday night. It was the first time my sisters had spent significant time together, and the two of them immediately connected the way Marianne and I had when we met at twelve years old.
Lilly and Josh came with me to meet them at the airport. Sissy kept making comments about his dreamy eyes and thick eyelashes and Marianne said she wished she was straight so she could steal him from me. It was lighthearted fun that continued when we stopped for pizza at Marco’s, and Marianne commented that Negroes don't eat pizza, they eat chitlins.
Josh stayed with Lilly Friday night and we three sisters took the subway into Manhattan, a real excursion for Sissy and Marianne. We had dinner at the famed Delmonico's, with its fine napery and crystal and a large selection of dinner items on the menu. The girls were giddy and wanted to visit the Waldorf Astoria they had heard so much about, so after dinner, we took a cab to Park Avenue and 49th Street where we climbed the stairs to the double front doors that were opened for us by a red-coated uniformed man with a top hat and white gloves.
Sissy giggled, and Marianne punched her in the side. Watching my colored and white sisters cut up like school girls who really liked each other was good for my heart. Two people I loved seemed to love each other. We splurged for a cab all the way back to Brooklyn Heights and got into a serious conversation in the back seat.
"Did Marianne tell you about Daddy and Tootsie?" I was sitting between the two girls and turned to look at Sissy.
"She didn't have to. It was obvious after Tootsie moved in with us for that year." Sissy looked from me to the window and stared at the passing lampposts as though remembering something unpleasant.
"I mean, did she tell you about…?"
"No, I didn't tell her." Marianne barked at me, and I knew she didn't want me to breach the subject, so I dropped it. The next morning I had the chance to speak with Sissy alone when we were in the kitchen making coffee and Marianne was in the shower. It was my wedding day, and I was excited, but I had something important on my mind and didn't know when I'd have the chance to talk to Sissy about it again.
"Marianne doesn't want to hear about this, but you need to know that Daddy is…"
"I figured it out the first time I met her. I'm not stupid." Sissy poured herself a cup of coffee and was stirring cream and sugar into the lightening liquid.
"Then you realize we are all…" I couldn't complete the sentence. The word sister seemed sacred and it stuck in my throat.
"Yes. At first I was pretty upset about it, mostly because no one told me. I was angry with you, with Daddy, with Tootsie. I felt betrayed. Now, I'm just happy to have another sister. And she is in Jean Ville where I can see her. I need a big sister, especially since Mama left." She turned and walked out of the kitchen with her coffee, the smell of her shampoo and roasted beans filled the air.
The little chapel at St. John's was filled to overflowing with my friends from the publishing house, former college classmates, young people I'd taught as a graduate student, even Merrick and his wife. It was the first time I'd met Mrs. Harper. She was a lovely person and, yes, I felt guilty, but it was my wedding day and I was in love with Josh Ryan.
Josh's partners and their wives were there and lots of doctors, nurses, and orderlies from the hospital. His sister, her husband Doug and their two teenagers came in from Cincinnati and, along with Marianne and Sissy, comprised our family sections at the noon wedding. In all, there were close to one hundred people at the church, which shocked me because I didn't think we had that many friends in New York.
Lilly and I walked up the short aisle together, each holding a bouquet of white lilies. I didn't think of having my dad give me away, because I was giving myself to Josh. He stood next to Father George, Joe by his side.
Josh looked happy, handsome, and high-browed in his tuxedo with white morning jacket, a boyish grin across his face that lifted his eyes and made them squint a bit. A few loose curls threatened to spring onto his forehead at any moment.
My hand was sweating when I put it in his cool palm, and he grinned at me, acknowledging my nervousness. The pure masculine essence of spice that was so specific to Joshua Ryan filled the air.
Lilly was almost giddy with excitement, and when he bent to kiss her on the cheek, I heard him say, "You look beautiful, and today you will be my little girl and have two daddies." She beamed and hugged his neck then dutifully stood next to me. When Josh and I recited our vows our eyes were locked and I could tell he loved me in his soul, and that I could trust him to never leave me. His kiss was gentle and authentic, then he put his hand in the small of my back, took Lilly's hand, and we walked out of the chapel into the beautiful June sunshine, and God smiled on our marriage and the start of our little family that we hoped would grow.
The reception was at the Stratton, a popular boulevard spot and one of the most distinguished restaurants in Queens. I floated on the dance floor when Josh held me and we swayed to "All You Need Is Love." While we were dancing, he whispered, "I'd rather dance to 'Hey Jude' because it's more than six minutes long and this song is only a little over three. I want to hold you like this forever."
"Only for the rest of your life, husband," I whispered. He squeezed me, and I thought I could never be happier than I was in that moment, on that elevated dance floor, the
music of the Beatles in my ears and Josh's piquant of zesty scents filling my senses. He danced with Lilly, as did Joe, and she had the time of her life. Josh said we were creating a monster, meaning she would want this kind of entertainment regularly, but Lilly was a simple girl with simple tastes who just happened to fit in and enjoy any moment in time.
Joe kept Lilly at his bachelor apartment while Josh and I honeymooned. Joe's relationship with his girlfriend hadn't worked out, and he had sold the house in Springfield Gardens and was enjoying the single life. I was happy Lilly would have her dad all to herself while Josh and I went to Italy and took a cruise from Venice to Rome.
We landed in Venice, and I was astonished when a boat picked us up at the airport to take us to our hotel, which was on one of the canals. It was like walking a gangplank when we got off the boat and climbed to the sidewalk where a doorman met us and took our luggage. The first night, we took a gondola ride through several of the main canals where we saw marketplaces and locals walking on the narrow sidewalks that lined the waters that weaved in and out of neighborhoods. Fire boats and police boats whizzed by as if they were cars on streets.
On the third day, we boarded a cruise ship called the Royal Princess that left Venice and took us to ports along the Adriatic Sea on the east side of Italy. We visited Split and Dubrovnik in Yugoslavia where we climbed hundreds of steps up to ancient castles on the side of cliffs that hung over the sea.
From there we went to Corfu on the Greek Isles and joined ten people in a canoe that took us through the Blue Grotto on the Megisti Island. The man who rowed the boat told us about how the tides could come up suddenly, and we might have to swim out of the small entrance into the cave where the top was black and the bottom of the water clear blue. It was a magical experience I'll never forget.
Lilly Page 23
