She knew it wouldn’t last though.
It never did.
If only that were the worst of her problems though.
Her wolf—and her human half—wanted Fawkes.
Badly.
If only she knew how to make that clear. She knew other species mated with wolves as she’d seen firsthand evidence of it with Becca and Hunter. So that meant that the demon who was currently wrestling with his choice to be good could be her true half.
She just had to ask him.
She let out a snort.
Sure like that was easy.
“What’s so funny?” Fawkes asked as he walked to her side. He came up right beside her but didn’t touch her.
Her wolf whimpered at the lack of contact and it took all in her power not to lean closer and rub herself along his body, scenting him so no other female would dare come near him.
Oh, she’d seen the other females watch him. There might not be as many females as males in the Pack, but those who were there and mateless watched her demon.
Yes, hers.
She just had to make it that way.
“Leslie?” He reached out as if he were going to cup her face, then fisted his hand before lowering his arm to his side.
Her wolf whimpered and she wanted to scream. Why couldn’t she make the first move? Damn being submissive.
“What? Oh, nothing’s funny. I was just thinking.”
He searched her face and she stared into those black eyes with flecks of red. Since they were within the den, he didn’t wear contacts. None of them did. Once any of them left the den, they wore contacts to protect their secret. Though Leslie’s eyes were more brown than gold or yellow because she wasn’t as dominate as Hunter and the like, she still wore them in public. She never knew if something were to anger her wolf or cause her to want to shift.
It had never happened before, but she wasn’t about to take the chance.
“Why are you so nervous around me?” Fawkes asked. “Do I scare you in some way? I promise I won’t hurt you or change my mind about the choice I made.”
She shook her head. “I’m not afraid you’ll hurt me.” Well, that wasn’t quite true. She was terrified he didn’t think she was his true half and she’d end up alone forever.
Wow. Dramatic much?
“Then why do you keep to yourself?”
“I thought you were the one doing it. You’ve stayed away since that first night we met, barely saying one word to me.”
“I…I thought because you were submissive that I had to be careful around you.”
She blinked, hurt arching through her body like a painful caress. “What?”
“Hunter said you need time so I was staying away so I wouldn’t make you nervous.”
The hurt intensified, but this time laced with anger. “He said what?”
“He said you’d been hurt so I stayed away, making sure I didn’t do anything to scare you. I know I’m new to the Pack, so I didn’t want to invade your territory.”
“You think that because I’m a submissive wolf that I need to be held with kids’ gloves or something?”
“No, I mean, I don’t know. No one will tell me how to act around you,” he blurted then shut his eyes. “Hell, now I sound like an idiot. I swear I know how to talk around people but you make me nervous.”
All at once that hurt and anger went away, something much warmer replacing it. “You make me nervous to but not in a bad way,” she added on at the end as something like pain crossed his features.
“How do I make you nervous?” he asked.
She took a deep breath and took the plunge. “You feel it don’t you? That connection?” Her wolf pranced around, beyond joyed that she’d finally voiced their feelings—or at least started to.
Fawkes smiled and her wolf fell in love. Leslie, however, was a bit slower. She barely knew the demon—something she’d have to change soon. It wasn’t as if the human part of her would fall in love at first sight.
Okay, maybe lust at first sight, but that was a whole other matter.
He reached out and cupped her cheek and she froze before leaning into his touch—his first touch. He smelled of fire and brimstone, but with that scent of man that could be hers. Her nipples pebbled and her stomach clenched.
“How about we start over?” he asked and she nodded, his calloused fingertips brushing against her face.
“I’d love that though I might have to kick Hunter for making you think you had to stay away from me.”
Fawkes grinned. “Well, Leslie, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Fawkes, a demon who’s about to get a little testy because I’m not taking souls.”
She nodded knowing what he was doing was harder than anything she’d ever faced—even her brother.
“I’m Leslie, a submissive wolf who’s trying to figure out what to do next.”
“What do you want to do next?”
“Find my own way,” she said honestly, surprised she’d even voiced that thought at all.
He pulled his hand away and before she could feel the loss he ran his palm down her arm, then tangled their fingers together.
“How are you going to do that?” he asked, looking genuinely interested.
“I haven’t the first clue.” She laughed as she said it and Fawkes smiled.
“Well, okay then. I’m sort of on the same path. I haven’t the faintest idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I mean, I spent the first part of it thinking I’d be a warrior demon and follow my father’s footsteps.”
“Your father being Lucifer.” She’d heard the rumors around the Pack that he was the son of the Devil. While most people had taken to Fawkes easily, others were still weary. After all, it wasn’t every day they met the son of the demon humans and Pack alike feared like no other.
“Does that bother you?”
“No,” she answered honestly. “You’re not your father, the same as I’m not my brother.” That was something she knew for sure. She might have had the same blood running through her veins as Dorian, but she wasn’t the traitor he’d been. She wasn’t evil. Fawkes wasn’t evil either. He’d chosen to go against his realm, knowing he’d die because of it to choose good.
That was something the Devil could never say.
“I could kill Dorian all over again for what he did to you and the Pack.”
“I take it you’ve heard it all.”
Fawkes nodded, running his thumb over her knuckle. She held back a shiver at the touch. They might not be talking about what was going on between the two of them, but at least they were talking at all.
“I know how Dorian and others in the council tried to take over the Pack. They betrayed Hunter and sent him to hell. That’s how I met Hunter.”
“I know.” He’d saved Hunter and a few of Becca’s friends.
“The council wanted to rule the Pack like a democracy, rather than with the Alpha. I’m not completely sure, but I think that wolves need their Alpha. Right?”
“Totally. We’re not human. We need the Alpha to keep our wolves in line and remind us we’re not alone. That’s why becoming a lone wolf is so hard—wolves need that bond with the Pack. Trying to rule by council makes no sense to us and it shouldn’t. Most of the council—besides Alec and Liam—were idiots anyway. They just wanted the power for themselves and didn’t really care about the good of the Pack. A good Alpha and Beta care for the Pack as much as they lead it if not more.”
“I’m glad Dorian failed, even if it took too long to take him down.”
She remembered the beatings and when he’d tried to sell her for the good of his plan but pushed those memories to the side. She was stronger now.
“I’m sorry for bringing that up,” Fawkes sighed. “I hate that I put that sadness on your face.”
Leslie shook her head. “You didn’t. Dorian did, but I’m getting better.”
“I know. You’re stronger than you think you are. I kept away, not talking about what my demon feels, because Hunte
r said you were submissive and needed time, but I think I did the wrong thing. You’re not weak and frail, you’re the glue and support of the Pack. I should have seen that.”
Leslie’s eyes widened at that. “You thought I was weak and frail?”
“Hell no,” Fawkes grumbled. “That was the problem. I thought that’s what I was supposed to see but I didn’t. All I saw was a woman looking for what she was. A woman I wanted to get to know.”
“I stay at Hunter and Becca’s because I can’t keep away from Hazel,” she said, ignoring the last part of his statement for now. “I know Becca can handle her child on her own, but I’m weak when it comes to babies.”
Fawkes smiled. “You want one of your own?”
“So badly but I want a mate first.” She blushed at that and Fawkes squeezed her hand.
“You’re my true half, Leslie, aren’t you?”
She started at his words, surprised he’d be so blatant, but happy he was.
“Yes, I think so.”
Fawkes swallowed hard and she watched the way his throat worked. “You know, I planned on visiting all the realms I could, praying I’d find my true half and yet here you are.”
“I don’t know you, Fawkes.”
“I don’t know you either, Leslie, but I want to get to know you. I’m not saying we should mate and just go full steam ahead, but I’d like to I don’t know…court you?”
She held back a laugh at that term. “Court?”
He blushed a sweet shade and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not any good at this. You’d think I’d have prepared something after staring at you for two months but you make me lose what I’m going to say.”
“I know exactly how you feel.”
“So we take things slow? We learn each other while we learn ourselves? I don’t think either of us is ready to jump ahead and listen to fate, but I don’t want to lose something important either.”
Relief filled her. “Oh, thank the gods,” she laughed. “I still want to find out who I am and I know you’re the same, but if we can find out together? I’m totally okay with that.”
“I know you’re a wolf and strong, but I also want you to know that I’ll protect you. Okay? I know women nowadays are vocal about their independence but my demon needs to let you know that I’ll be your warrior.”
She blushed at that thought. “Okay, but you need to help me learn to kick ass too.”
Fawkes threw his head back and laughed. “Deal. I’m going to kiss you now. Okay?”
She nodded, suddenly shy.
He ran his hands up her arms, over her shoulders, then cupped her face. Her breaths came in pants as she waited. His dark eyes lit with red then he lowered his lips.
She closed her eyes at the first touch of his lips against hers. His touch was gentle, soft, as if he were afraid to spook her. Then his tongue darted out to lick the seam of her lips. She opened for him immediately, letting his tongue brush along hers. She gasped at his taste—a subtle musk that was all Fawkes combined with the sweet tea he’d had with lunch.
He rubbed his thumbs along her cheeks as he deepened the kiss, his tongue delving deeper as he gained confidence.
She moaned into him, her body going flush against his as he pulled away slightly to kiss the corners of her mouth before going back to a deeper kiss.
Her mind went blank as she let Fawkes take control. Her wolf knew he’d never go too far, never push her where she didn’t want to go. That was what made her a submissive. Her wolf trusted the dominant who held her with such reverence, the woman part of her let go and let it happen.
She wouldn’t do this for anyone else.
Hadn’t done it for anyone else.
This was her true half, the man and demon she’d learn more about.
Finally he pulled away, their breaths panting in synch. Leslie swallowed hard and he did the same. He smiled at her and she knew everything would be all right. It didn’t make any sense as to why, but she’d trust fate on this one.
She had to.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Colin spat from their sides.
Fawkes pulled her behind him and growled—a different growl from a wolf, but a growl nonetheless.
“Hiding behind this little demon, you bitch?”
Fawkes moved forward and Leslie gripped his arm, pulling him back. “No, don’t. It’s not worth it,” she whispered.
Fawkes looked down at her, keeping one eye on Colin. “I’ll tear him limb from limb. He’s the one who’s been hurting you, hasn’t he?”
She didn’t want Fawkes to fight. She was tired of fighting, tired of feeling scared of the stronger wolves. She just wanted to take him away and get to know him, not deal with what could happen.
“You think you can just come into our Pack and take our females?” Colin asked, his eyes going wolf.
Fawkes searched her face then sighed. It broke her heart that she was forcing him to do something against his nature, but she couldn’t stand fighting, not after what she’d been through.
“You need to watch your step, Colin,” Fawkes said, his voice laced with anger. “I’m not fighting you now because my mate wishes it, but stand aside.”
Mate?
Oh no, he shouldn’t have said that. Not yet.
Her wolf preened at the title, but she knew Colin wouldn’t like it.
She wasn’t disappointed.
“You think you can mate with one of ours, demon?”
“She’s mine,” Fawkes growled. “I’m not going to fight you. I’m not going to let you treat her like anything less than the proud wolf she is.”
Colin looked over Leslie’s head and she scented Liam and Alec coming up from behind them.
“Is there a problem here, boys?” Liam asked as he stood on one side, Alec on the other.
Colin curled a lip then spit on the ground in front of them. “No. Not yet.” He turned on his heel, his shoulders tense.
Leslie relaxed next to Fawkes and he wrapped his arm around her.
“You’re going to have to tell me why I did that later,” Fawkes whispered and she nodded.
“I don’t know exactly what that was about, but you’ll have to tell me later,” Liam said before he walked away, Alec following quietly behind like always.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“I’d do anything for you, Leslie. You know that. It’s what being a true half and mate means, but you’ll have to tell me. Okay?”
She nodded then wrapped her arms around his waist. She’d forced a dominant demon to stand back and not fight. What kind of person did that make her?
She needed to make some decisions and quickly. If she didn’t get over her aversion to fighting, she might lose the one thing she hadn’t known she could have.
Chapter Five
She felt so soft and warm against his side that Fawkes wasn’t sure if he wanted to let her go. Ever.
That might prove a problem considering they were in public and some of the other wolves were staring. Really, though, he should have been used to the staring by then. They always watched him, first with fear, then with trepidation. Now, it was a mix of curiosity and sheer bafflement.
He wanted to think it was merely because he was a demon with his arm wrapped around a wolf, but he had a feeling it had much more to do with Leslie herself, than him.
That was something he’d have to change.
He’d stayed away from her for two months because he’d been an idiot. At first it was because he wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling. After all, he’d never met his true half before. For all he knew the connection he felt was because she was absolutely gorgeous.
The last thing he wanted to do was follow her around like a helpless little demon because his dick got hard.
He frowned and shook off that last crude thought. Leslie was worth more than that.
Not that Colin and his little crew had the same thought.
If Leslie hadn’t held him back the day before he’d have punched that fucker�
��s face in.
Colin, Ben and the other wolves he hadn’t cared to get their names of before, seemed to want to have their own small Pack within the main Pack. Hunter had told him that he had the crew on his radar, but technically, they showed more dominant wolves respect.
The Beta of the Pack had already threatened to kick their asses and it hadn’t been enough. He’d given Fawkes—an outsider—permission to provide justice. If the crew came anywhere near Leslie, he’d fight back.
Well, he would if Leslie would let him. For some reason she had an aversion to violence. No, he knew the reason.
Dorian.
That brother of hers had scared her more than the others thought. Sure, she stayed with Hunter at first because she’d had nowhere else to go, but then most of them had thought she stayed because she liked it. He’d seen the way she was around Hazel and how her eyes would light up every time she saw the little girl. She’d sigh with contentment when she held her and would laugh when Hunter would act overprotective.
Yet, Fawkes had a feeling she stayed for other reasons.
No, not because he was near, but because she didn’t want to leave.
She couldn’t leave.
Staying in a house with a sadistic, power-hungry, asshole had scarred her. He knew she shied away from violence, but she was a wolf.
How could she stay away from it all?
Wolves here entwined with the darkness and violence as much as demons were. Wolves went on monthly hunts that always led to blood or sex. That was just the way of it. He knew she was submissive, but now she was ignoring her call—ignoring who she was.
He didn’t know what to do about it.
“Fawkes? What’s wrong?”
He looked down into her big brown eyes, then kissed her nose. She sighed against him and he hugged her tighter.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he lied.
She wrinkled her nose and pulled back from him but still kept her arms wrapped around his waist. “You’re lying.”
“I’m just thinking,” he said then leaned for another kiss. He couldn’t get enough of her taste. He knew that sudden love-at-first sight thing wasn’t quite accurate, it was more of a could-be-perfect-forever-and-ever-at-first sight thing, but he didn’t care.
Ever After Page 4
