by Cajio, Linda
Then she realized the horse wasn’t a horse, but James lying on top of her, and the voices belonged to her grandmother and her son.
Lettice and Philip had arrived home from Maida’s dinner, and James was lying naked in her bed with naked her. The combination was unthinkable.
“Oh my God!” she moaned, pushing and shoving James to wake him up.
“Wha’ the …” he began in a groggy voice, fighting her hands.
“Shut up!” she said, clamping her fingers over his mouth. He stiffened, then froze with her when the voices outside the room grew louder. In silent fascination they both watched the thin sliver of hallway light that seeped under the bedroom door.
“… but his car’s here, Grandmother Lettice.”
“Yes, dear. I did see it.” Lettice’s voice was stronger and louder than usual. “He’s probably with your mother in the foaling stable. Remember how busy she expected to be this evening? I’m sure Mr. Otis is grateful for another pair of hands.”
Giggles surfaced from nowhere, and Anne tried desperately to suppress them. This wasn’t funny—especially if they were caught. To her horror, James’s shoulders began to shake with amusement. The giggles were infectious.
“Well, maybe,” Philip said, his voice dubious. Some of the light was blocked from under the doorway. They were right outside. “Maybe we ought to check and see if Mom’s sleeping.”
Anne fought back a scream of panic. Please, she thought, do Mom a big favor and don’t check on her.
“But, Philip, if she were asleep in her room, James’s car wouldn’t be here. Besides, it’s very late. We stayed way past both our bedtimes tonight. I know you’re really tired.”
Anne could hear her son yawn as if on cue.
“See?” Lettice chided. “You just get yourself right into bed, young man.…”
The voices drifted down the hall, and light reappeared fully under the door. James lifted her hand from his mouth as they both relaxed.
“That was close,” he whispered, sitting up. He pulled her up next to him, his arm around her bare back. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”
“It’s not your fault, James,” she whispered back. “I’ll have to sneak you out of the house.”
She began to giggle again, like a nervy teenager. She felt like one.
“Shh!” James hushed her. Near silent laughter erupted from him.
“Stop that, or we really will get caught.” She was grinning in spite of her words.
“Mmmm.” He kissed her cheek. “Good thing Lettice headed Philip off about coming in here. I don’t think he’s ready for a lesson in the birds and the bees.”
Especially one involving his mother, Anne thought, her stomach queasy at the notion. If James were her husband, it would be different.…
She stopped herself when she realized what she was considering. She didn’t know what the future held, and she wouldn’t hurt herself by anticipating it.
They waited in near silence for the sounds of the others to gradually quiet into sleep. James’s hands wandered upon occasion, much to Anne’s aggravation—and pleasure. Okay, she decided when his thumb lingered on her nipple, slowly rubbing the nub to life. She wasn’t perfect, and she was damn glad of it.
Long safe minutes later they were presentable and tiptoeing down the stairs. Tibbs met them at the bottom, a tail-wagging co-conspirator rather than a barking menace. In the dark kitchen she opened the back door, wrapping her satin robe tighter around her against the chilly spring air. Tonight had been inevitable, and yet it all happened so fast. Being with James, hearing him say he loved her, felt like it had happened to someone else. Doubts pushed at her consciousness. She shoved them away, praying this was reality.
“I hate the thought of going,” he said, adjusting the mandarin collar under her chin.
She nodded. “This can’t happen again, James.”
“What do you mean, this can’t happen again?” he demanded in a low voice.
His anger was unmistakable, and she quickly added, “I mean here in the house. Not with Philip. I love you, James, but I have to set an example for my son.”
“Of course. That wasn’t what I meant.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I thought you were talking about stopping this cold and not seeing me again.”
“It would be like trying to stop a hurricane,” she whispered.
“Good.” He pulled her against him and kissed her, his mouth rekindling the hot fire. Finally, he lifted his head. “It better be like trying to stop a hurricane. In fact, I’m depending on it.”
She didn’t understand his words.
“Anne …” He let go of her and cleared his throat. “Anne, there’s something about me you don’t know.”
He sounded so ominous, she was almost afraid to find out. “What?”
At first he was silent, which only heightened her anxiety level. Finally he said, “Oh, hell. I’m dyslexic, Anne.”
“You’re … That’s a learning disability, right?”
“Yes. I’ve overcome it … except when I’m tired. Then I have a tendency to mix up letters.”
“Oh.” Relief washed through her. “You made it sound as if you were a mass murderer or something.” She gazed at him, frowning. He looked so anxious that she wondered if there was more to confess than a childhood problem. “Is there anything else?”
“You don’t seem … concerned.”
Puzzled, she said, “I didn’t mean to sound unconcerned. Of course I’m concerned. It must have been very frustrating when you were a child. I know, I see Philip’s frustrations. But it’s just that you sounded so … I don’t know … like you were about to tell me something horrible about yourself. Dyslexia isn’t horrible; it’s a learning disability.”
He grinned at her. “Very true. I just didn’t know if you knew about it.”
“James—”
“Never mind.” He kissed her soundly on the lips. “It’s getting cold. I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
She smiled. For once she would be ecstatically happy to see him first thing in the morning. Then her happiness faded.
“What happened to that smile?” he asked.
“I’d forgotten about Battle Cry and why you were coming so early every day.”
“Good.” He grinned when she lifted her chin. “A little temporary forgetfulness won’t hurt either of us. The worst thing is being vigilant when nothing’s happening. Neither of us needs ulcers.”
She nodded.
“We’ll resolve it one way or another, I promise.” He kissed her again. “Hell, I don’t want to go at all.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“But I must …”
She nodded, not trusting her voice to give the proper answer.
“We’ll have to work on this.”
He kissed her one last time and then was gone.
Sighing, Anne shut the door and slowly climbed the stairs. James was quite right. They’d have to work on it.
When she was finally back in bed, she stared at the opposite wall before turning out the nightlight. Her thoughts were a jumble of hope and happiness, and she was terrified she’d discover in the morning that this night with James had been a dream.
Something on her bureau drew her attention, and she focused on the set of cloisonné brushes next to her jewelry box. She didn’t own a set of cloisonné brushes.
Immediately, she rolled away from the odd sight and turned out the light. She didn’t care where the brushes came from, just as long as they were there in the light of day.
Like James.
He was there before she took her daily ride.
James grinned as he watched Anne slip out the front door before seven in the morning. She looked young and innocent with her jeans and denim jacket, her silky dark hair in a French braid. Underneath those ordinary clothes was the temptress only he knew. He got out of the car and quietly shut the door. She smiled at him, and he decided it was about to be a beautiful day.
“Am I
too early?” he asked.
“Right on time.” She stepped into his arms, and he kissed her.
“I love you.”
“I love you,” she murmured.
He smiled. A guy could really get used to this.
“Did you sleep?” she asked.
“My bed was lonely. Although if you had been there, I wouldn’t have slept at all.”
“Sex maniac.”
“Only with you.”
“Good.” She pulled away from him.
He made a face at her. “Annie, you’re supposed to throw yourself at me when I profess my fidelity and make sexual innuendos, not walk away.”
“I’m saving my attack for later.”
“It better be a good one,” he muttered.
“Promise.” She patted his arm. “Come on, let’s make our usual morning rounds, otherwise people might wonder.”
“Do you care?” he asked seriously.
“No. And yes.” She looked worried. “I—I want to get used to it first … and then there’s Philip.”
“Okay. I understand.” He did understand how she felt. He was disappointed, too, that she didn’t want to shout it from the rooftops. “Let’s go.”
The farm was already up and awake, the horses rising with the dawn and the humans following suit. Anne checked in at the mares’ stables, then the foaling stable. James said not a word, only grinned, when the foaling manager commented on the quiet night. Anne blushed.
James found it a pleasure and a torture to walk next to her. He would have thought the awareness between them would have been assuaged with lovemaking. Instead, it had been heightened. He wanted desperately to love her again, and resented that they couldn’t. And doubts, irrational as they were, were growing. Maybe she didn’t want to. Maybe she was having second thoughts.
Clenching his fists, he realized he’d never been more unsure of himself than now. Her reaction to his confession of dyslexia had bothered him increasingly during the night. He had hoped for acceptance, and she had accepted him. Then why was he feeling so deflated now?
“You’re quiet,” she said.
He mentally shook away the disturbing thoughts. “Just daydreaming. There is a topic I think we should discuss—the fact that I have this overwhelming urge to drag you into the nearest empty building.”
She glanced away, then looked back with longing in her eyes, and he knew she felt the same way he did. Contentment ran through him. She didn’t want their separation any more than he did.
“We’ll have to think of how to sneak around all these obstacles,” he said, taking her hand.
She tried to pull her hand away. “James. Philip—”
He squeezed her fingers gently, but refused to let go. She eventually relaxed.
“I know,” he said. “Philip. I promise we’ll be”—he leaned over and whispered—“discreet.”
“Oh, brother.” But she was laughing. “And what do you know about being discreet?”
“Not a thing,” he said innocently.
She made a face at him.
“The morning fog’s burning off,” he added, changing the subject.
“Nice way of avoiding ‘discreet,’ ” she said.
“Thank you.” Fenced-in pastures sprawled in either direction as they walked toward the stallion barn. “This place is as beautiful as its owner.”
She ducked her head. “Thank you.”
The tension, dispelled by the teasing, easy conversation, was returning. Desire clamored inside him, and he fought it back by looking around at the peaceful scene before him. Several horses and foals galloping along the fence in a far meadow caught his attention. He pointed at them. “It’s incredible to see magnificent creatures like those enjoying the morning. Funny, one looks a lot like my horse. I didn’t know you had another horse that resembled Battle Cry so closely.”
Anne stopped dead and uttered a barnyard curse. He stared at her in shock.
“That’s because I don’t!” she exclaimed. “That is Battle Cry! He’s in with some mares.”
They both started running.
“We can’t catch him with our bare hands!” Anne shouted. “Go get help from the barn. I’ll try to distract him from—”
“You get help. I’ll do the distracting—”
“Dammit, James! I need your help, not an argument!” Before he could say a word, she swerved, then threw herself at a fence, scrambling over it to take a shortcut to the far pasture.
He veered toward the barn, all the while cursing her obtuseness. She had damn well better be all right after he got help, he thought. Because then he was going to kill her.
“Battle Cry’s loose!” he yelled the moment he was within hearing distance of the barn. “He’s in with some mares in the far pasture!”
Curtis, who had just emerged from the barn, looked at the nearest pasture, saw it was empty, and began to shout curses and orders. Men ran everywhere at his commands.
“Redman Chief just went crazy in his stall,” Curtis said, running up to James, “and we were all in with that! But it was only for a few minutes—”
“I don’t give a damn how it happened!” James said over his shoulder as he raced back toward the pasture. “Just hurry. Anne’s trying to distract him now.”
He left Curtis to his cursing and shouting and returned to the pasture in record time. His heart stopped when he spotted Anne in the middle of the field, running dangerously close to the galloping horses while screaming and waving her jacket. It wasn’t worth the risk to herself just to keep the stallion from mating with a few mares not on the schedule.
He boosted himself over the six-foot fence and peeled off his sweater, swirling it above his head and yelling at her, “Get out of there before you get hurt!”
She shook her head. “Got to … kept them … moving!”
He swore at her, more angry than he ever thought he could be at her foolhardiness. The men arrived with ropes and halters. Not bothering to waste more breath, he ran onto the field, grabbed Anne around the waist, and pulled her back to the fence.
“Dammit, Anne,” he said when they reached it, “you could have been hurt, and for what? A couple of foals born on the wrong side of the blanket?”
“And that could ruin my farm,” she said. She was gasping for breath, but that didn’t stop her from stiffening with indignation. “And the purity of Battle Cry’s lineage.”
“I don’t give a damn about that. I care about you. I love you.” He rubbed his forehead, completely winded. “That’s it. Our agreement’s terminated as of now. A security firm will be here before the day is out.”
“But—”
“No buts, Anne. Until we catch whoever is doing this, they’ll be here twenty-four hours a day … and so will I.”
Eleven
“I shouldn’t have tried to help with the other horse.… I should have been watching my boy.…”
Anne gritted her teeth at Mac’s words. He’d been saying them continually over the past few days. At first she had sympathized. Everyone had. But now it was an annoying litany with no way to stop it. And truthfully, she couldn’t help wishing that he had stayed with Battle Cry. This second incident never would have happened if he had. She ignored the plainclothes guard sitting unobtrusively on the bales of hay in the far corner of the barn, a constant reminder of her failure.
“Mr. James is really angry over what happened,” Mac went on. “You know, Miss Anne, he’s not happy with the care here—”
“Thank you, Mac,” she said, pushing herself away from the stall door. She already knew how James felt. Or, rather, she didn’t know. Angry, worried, and hurt, and determined not to show it, she said, “Battle Cry looks just fine—”
“Oh, to be sure,” the little man interrupted. “But I should have stayed with him.…”
She came to a decision. “This is not a criticism of you, Mac, but because of what happened, Curtis will work with you.”
“Oh, no!” Mac exclaimed. “Mr. James won’t like it—�
��
“Mr. James will like it,” she said firmly. “He understands the necessity, as I’m sure you will. I want someone I trust with that horse at all times. That’s final, Mac.”
She ignored his grumbles as she checked on Redman Chief, who was none the worse for wear. By sheer luck they had found a large thorn on the floor of his stall. Obviously, someone had walked by and jammed it into his flesh, counting on the combination of sudden pain in an enclosed place to make him frantic. It had, and all that same person had had to do was take advantage of the confusion. All the men had rushed into the barn, thinking it was a stallion fight. And, of course, no one had noticed who hadn’t rushed in.
Mac babbled on, and she nodded absently until she could escape outside.
Someone was definitely out to ruin her, she thought as she emerged into the sunshine. And ruin Battle Cry too. Someone who was right here at the farm. She didn’t know who to trust anymore. She even had doubts about Curtis, who had been with her from the beginning. But of all her people, he was the one she trusted the most. It was a nightmare that had to end soon.
And then there was James. Her face heated with embarrassment, as it did every time she thought of the way he had yelled at her in front of her people. How could he have done that? She had been perfectly safe. She was so angry with him, and yet she couldn’t help remembering that “I love you” right in the middle of his yelling.
She caught sight of Curtis, deep in conversation with James. And not a happy conversation, judging by the glowers on their faces. Both men were barely talking to her—Curtis because she agreed to the hiring of the security firm, and James because she hadn’t listened to him. Curtis could stay as mad as he liked, but James …
Granted, she was angry with him, but she was terrified that he had changed his mind about her. Every time she looked at him, love and need pumped through her veins like rich syrup. He had made no move toward her, though, and now he was sleeping on her office couch every night. And every night she was right upstairs in her big, lonely bed.…
She shook off the thought. They’d had no chance to really talk with the current chaos, and right now she had to separate the two men. Unfortunately, as bad as they were with her, they were worse with each other. She hurried over.
