by M. Mabie
He dug out his phone and dialed Nate. I watched him as we waited for him to answer, listening to it together on speakerphone.
“Hey, you’ve reached Nate Owens. I can’t come to the phone right now. So please leave a message. If this is regarding the sale of Hook, Line, and Sinker, please call our listing agent at 415-579-0811. Have a good one,” Nate said in his recording.
“That’s messed up. I wonder why I didn’t know about this. I was just here a few weeks ago. I wonder if the office knows. ” I’m sure if Aly and Nate were still dating, they did. He was genuinely disappointed and so was I.
I guess what he’d said was true. It was the end of an era.
“Well, I guess we could go home. I have packing I could do anyway.”
“Yeah, me too,” he replied.
Poor guy was bumming hard. It worked out for the best though, he hadn’t even started packing and we were driving to Oregon the next day.
I wrote my vows the night before we left, after Casey fell asleep on the couch watching a Foo Fighters concert on television. For our last night at home as single people, it was calm and peaceful. I think he was a little solemn about the bar closing and not being in the loop, but felt like maybe the world was telling us to rest up. The next few days would go fast and we’d need the energy.
I knew I would.
The drive was quicker than expected, and when we pulled in, the staff was amazing ushering all of my wedding day things to my suite. We’d be getting ready inside, but Casey would be in a tent when everything started.
Nerves set in, but they were so welcome. It was weird how time seemed to both slow and speed up over those last few hours until I became Mrs. Casey Moore.
Everyone arrived and festivities began. We were pulled in opposite directions. The men played golf on Friday morning while the girls and I went to the spa. We opted out of a true rehearsal since the wedding was going to be pretty laid-back. There’d be no mass. No dramatic symbolic rituals. We’d planned a simple ceremony at dark where we’d say our vows and promise each other the world.
Everyone looked happy and carefree at Friday night’s dinner, which was held on the lodge’s property in their gigantic dining room. We didn’t skimp on that. A four-course dinner. You know how I like food.
Casey was staying that night on the other end of the resort, even though he really, really, really didn’t want to. Of all the traditions we’d decided to skip, that one we held onto. Mostly because we were in serious danger of breaking the pre-wedding sex-fast.
Really close.
So close he had his hand up my dress as we sat next to each other while our families toasted, or roasted us, before dessert.
“Stop,” I chastised him when my mother took the microphone first. “Tomorrow.” It was hard to take me seriously when I told him to quit, but made no attempt to move his wandering hand.
“I can’t. I want you so bad,” he murmured into my hair.
“Not long, Lou.”
“We’re not spending any time at that reception, just so you know.”
“Whatever you say,” I easily agreed. I wanted him too. “You can kiss me though.”
It was chaste, but I felt the heat he was holding back behind his lips.
“How do I turn this thing on?” my mother asked like she’d never held a microphone before. Shane stepped up to help her.
“Thank you, sweetie,” she bellowed as the speakers roared to life. “First I’d like to say congratulations to my lovely daughter and her handsome groom. You two make a wonderful couple. It’s easy to see how much you love each other, simply by looking at you. As a mother, all you want for your children is for them to be happy, be good people, be responsible, and love with everything they have inside. My sweet Blake, not only have you become someone I’m proud of, but you’ve become someone I respect. You found love the hard way and never gave up. It’s because of your determination we’re gaining such a wonderful man into our family, and in addition, his family as well. We love you both very much.” As mothers do, she got teary, dabbing the liquid emotions from her eyes with a tissue. Then she passed the mic to Cory.
“Hey everyone, if you can’t tell, I’m Cory, Casey’s more handsome older brother.” The small crowd laughed. “I remember the first night Casey met Blake. We were meeting up for a drink the night before my beautiful wife, Micah, graduated. They say twins have some kind of connection, or something like that, but honestly I’d never felt it—until that night. I could feel how much he was into her just being in the room with them.
“It was the weirdest thing. I’d never seen Casey behave like he was. He was quiet and almost shy. If you know him like I do—well, it was obvious something was happening. The way they looked at each other that night, something sparked. Something came to life.
“If twins are born best friends, born with some unexplainable connection, then that was the night I watched how instantly theirs was going to be stronger.” Cory smiled at his brother. “Whatever sibling link we have can’t compete with what they have. Blake, he’s a horse’s ass. He’s cocky. Stubborn. But he’s the best friend I’ve ever had and it’s been a pleasure watching how your love has made him a man I look up to. Congratulations.”
What is it about when men get mushy that makes a heart squeeze like mine was doing in that moment?
“I’m Reggie, one of Blake's older brothers. I don’t have anything prepared, but just want to say, it’s a good feeling when you know your little sister is in good hands. It’s a bonus when he knows how to make killer beer. I wish you a long, happy marriage.”
Morgan spoke next. “Blake and Casey, thank you for letting us share this with you. I’ve learned a lot from my older brothers. Especially, what it looks like when a man treats a woman the way she deserves. The kind of love you two share is well worth waiting for.” Morgan, more strait-laced and serious than all of the other Moore children, mouthed I love you, guys and blew us a kiss when she handed her dad the mic.
“Casey was a hell of a little boy. There may have been be a forest full of trees to climb and he’d pick the furthest, hardest one. Then he’d figure out how to climb it. He’s approached life like that. Finds what he loves and goes for it. Sure, he looks like a knucklehead with all of those curls, but inside that melon of his is a brain that can find a solution to any problem. And fast. He moves on instinct and passion, a lot like his mom did.
“One night when they were small, Deb and I watched the boys wear themselves out in the yard. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. When you have twins, you can’t help but compare them. Cory and Casey were always different. Anyway, we were speculating on what kinds of women they’d marry. It was easy to list things that would make Cory happy—thankfully he found all of them in Micah.
“But when we talked about Casey, we didn’t know what the hell he would go for. It was hilarious. I remember their mom laughing and laughing as she told me, ‘You know what? It doesn’t matter what she’s like as long as she lights him up. Because if she does, his world will revolve around her.’ How right she was, son. She’d be so thrilled to know you found the one who lights you up, just like you and your brother lit her up.
“Blake, we love you, sweetheart. Take care of our boy. Casey, the Moore women always know best. Remember that. Congratulations.”
The night filled my heart so tight I thought the walls of it would collapse from its fullness.
We were so blessed. I was so thankful. So grateful. So damn lucky.
Casey walked me to my door, and we were quiet as we strolled down the hall. No rushing. I don’t think we were too eager to part for the night. Just like a good book, when it’s just right, you never want it to end. But I knew it wasn’t a bad thing, because on the next page, the next day, I was marrying the man of my dreams. Oh, how I’d wished for him. I thought about the days when it had seemed impossible. To think I’d almost thrown it all away.
“Casey, we really made it, didn’t we?” I asked when we stopped by my suite’s door.
> “Yeah, we did. It wasn’t that bad of a trip,” he said grinning. Wasn’t that bad? It was a shame his memory was failing so early.
“Piece of cake,” I humored.
“So you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”
“It’s going to be weird sleeping in separate hotel rooms again.”
He moved my hair back off my shoulder and kissed my neck sweetly. I listened as he inhaled me. The print on my heart his lips made stayed even after he pulled away.
“Want me to text you to sleep, one last time, for old times’ sake, honeybee?”
My lips quivered and I jumped into his arms. We held on tight. Chest to chest. Embracing everything. Our bodies. Our hearts. Our mistakes. Our pain. Our victories.
“You’re my best friend, Casey Moore. I love you so much. Thank you for loving me.”
Our mouths kissed, lips washing lips with affection and honesty.
“I do love you,” he said as he put me down. “How about your trouble meets my trouble at the altar tomorrow?”
“Deal.”
He unlocked my door for me and then puckered his lips for one more kiss before I shut it with him on the other side.
My phone buzzed in my clutch.
Casey: Don’t forget to brush your teeth tomorrow. You’ve had a little spinach in between your front teeth all night.
I ran to the mirror to check. Standing there, I replied.
Me: Liar. Not funny. I almost fell down getting to the mirror.
Casey: Are you still standing there?
Me: Yeah.
Casey: See how pink your nose is?
I giggled. He was such a turd.
Me: It’s not pink.
Casey: Now who’s a liar?
Casey: Did you know the average married couple only has sex fifty-eight times a year? That’s like once a week.
Me: Or fifty-eight times in one day, depends on how you allocate your time.
Casey: I’m still afraid.
Me: We’ve never been average.
Casey: I hope we never are. Were you about to send me a picture of your boobs?
He never quit. I didn’t send a tit pic, but I sent him one of me laying there in bed.
Casey: That’ll do. You look sleepy, honeybee. Goodnight.
Me: Goodnight, Lou. See you tomorrow night. I’ll be the one in the wedding dress.
Casey: God, I’ve waited a long time for this.
Me: Me too.
Casey: I’m so glad it’s finally here.
I fell asleep smiling knowing that in good times and in bad, we’d always make it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
THROUGH ALL OF OUR struggles and victories, we’d made it.
I looked at the reflection in the mirror in the small tent. Knowing she was only a few hundred feet away made me crazy. It had been the longest day of my life, but it was finally the night.
Our night.
I swallowed the lump of emotion stirring in my throat as I straightened my bow tie, took a long breath, and ran my fingers through my hair.
My hair? Her hair, if I were being honest.
There was no wrangling it. I thought of pulling it back into a rubber band. What if it blew in my face? What if I missed the minute she came around the corner? Because of hair? Impulsively, I considered cutting it all off. Hair be damned. I didn’t want to risk not seeing her. Having a clear first view of my bride.
Not seeing her all day had sort of fucked with my head.
I hoped she wasn’t too nervous. Hell, I hoped she wasn’t reconsidering. There was always that chance. No. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t really true. She was mine.
Officially, tonight. She’d be mine forever.
I pulled my arm out straight to expose my watch. It was seven-forty.
Showtime.
Pulling back the crisp, white flap on my tent, I was met with the men I respected the most. Men who had my back. Men who didn’t mind keeping me in check. My twin, my best friend, and two men soon-to-be my brothers. Their grins created a surge of power so far inside me that I felt like I could take flight at any second.
I heard music and the low rumble of the few guests in attendance. The sound of the stream nearby trickled through my head. I blew out another breath loaded with excitement and nerves.
Shane stepped closer to me and gave my bow tie a tug on both sides.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked. His face was one-part amusement, one-part serious.
Was I ever so fucking ready for anything?
It’s funny how you want one thing so bad, dream about it happening, then when something as great as this stared you in the face, you kind of wanted it all to slow down. There was nothing I wanted more, but my heart was tender knowing this was the only time I’d get to live it. Just this once. That’s how you know it’s important. You miss the moment before it even happens.
What if I mess up my vows? What if I miss something?
I had the promises tucked safely in my pocket, but reflexively I patted that side of my jacket—for maybe the hundredth time—to make sure all of my things were there.
Ring. Check.
Vows. Check.
I’d wondered about what she’d written for me, but I hadn’t succumbed to my curiosity. I’d be making those promises blindly and wholeheartedly. Whatever she wanted of me, I’d give it to her.
Had she peeked?
“I’m ready,” I answered. I was sure, but in all the excitement I’m sure I sounded anxious. And maybe I was. I wanted everything to be perfect, but that feat was almost always impossible for us. Still, there was nothing that could spoil the night and that gave me peace. We were perfectly imperfect.
Cory glanced at his watch and gave me the look that said it really was time.
Walking down the side of the chairs, which were situated at an angle. Another thing that Blake and I wanted. No sides. No mine and hers. These were our people. We shared everyone there. My stomach flipped seeing the empty seats near the front, knowing that one was for my mother.
I said a few silent words to her.
Missing out on time with you wasn’t for nothing. You were right. I think she loves you, Mom. You only met a few times, but sometimes she says things or looks at things you loved and I feel you with us. I hope you’re in that seat watching. It feels like you are.
When we were making plans, I couldn’t envision the lights in the trees and the little lanterns that lit the aisle, but Blake had been right. The magic in the air crackled.
Like a team, with me at the lead, we took our places at the make-shift altar built of wood and covered in calla lilies. I looked down the line of my groomsmen. Cory, Troy, and Shane. When I met Reggie’s eyes, he nodded and straightened his posture as the music changed.
Our wedding certainly was different. It had taken us so long to get there. We’d fought for our moment. For our life together. All painful memories of the past healed, sealed together with happiness. This was how it was meant to be. For us.
My father and Carmen came toward us first, walking Foster down the faintly lit lane. It was a little late for our godson, but he was hanging in there. I chanced a look at my brother. He smiled as Foster saw him and then sped up wanting to go to his daddy.
Then Mr. and Mrs. Warren walked. Blake’s mom was already crying, but her smile proved they were tears of joy. He kissed the top of her head as they took their seats near us.
The gravity of everything began to swim around me. Moments and memories flooded my head.
I don’t know how I’m going to do it, and it might take me the rest of my life, but I’ll see to it that you and that bait of yours catch this fish.
You fill me up with so much happiness and you move me forward. NO, I go where you go. Because that’s where I belong.
I likened it to the moments where right before you die, memories flash through your mind: How beautiful she looked the first time I laid eyes on her. The first time I heard her say my name. The first time I heard her say
my name from pleasure.
Her tears, which I’d misinterpreted so many times, had been callouts for me when our situation had looked so bleak. How her body had wept when forced to be separated from mine.
The look of wonder on her face every time she came to climax. The flush of her pink nose.
Seeing her in a hospital bed, confessing she wanted to be my wife.
Every single fucking time she told me she loved me.
When she’d said yes.
At lightning speed, they raced through me.
Then around the corner I saw my youngest sister. Morgan was becoming such an incredible woman. Audrey who looked at the ground, smiling, followed her, but didn’t look up to where we stood. I looked down at the guys and Troy’s face was fixed down as well. He swayed side-to-side, then looked up at her.
She blossomed before she even saw him do it. I watched as she found his eyes and she winked. I’d never paid any attention, but things started to click in my head. Had I missed the change in their friendship? Or, had it quite possibly, already changed?
She looked at me, realizing she’d been caught. She smiled. I‘d be having a talk with her later. I didn’t want her to get hurt. Not that Troy was a bad guy, but he was just so much older. He wasn’t an angel and she deserved one.
But, then again, who was I to judge?
Blake only had three bridesmaids and seeing Micah turn the path that led to us, a rush of excitement hit me like a hot summer’s breeze, snapping me out of my thoughts. Micah blew Cory a kiss as she walked past us and took her spot alongside my sisters.
The air smelled sweet like freshly cut grass and the lights twinkled all around. It was like a movie. Oscar-worthy, in my opinion.
The music stopped. It was so quiet I could hear the frogs bellow along the water’s edge. I wasn’t sure what was happening. Seconds felt like ages, but at the same time it was like my prayers had been heard and time slowed just for me.
A lone violin.
And, ironically, it was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard, the beginning bars to a song that had become more like our anthem.
The violin played. Then another. And then a third.
